Emotionally disturbed brother - Need advice!

[topsaulez]

Dear Forum Friends:

I need some advice about a family matter that has bothered me for many years. I have a younger brother who is in his 40s, but he still lives with my elderly mother. He has serious emotional and borderline mental issues. The cause is probably genetics as my late father also had as similar issues. We are an immigrant family, and although my brother came here in his early teens he couldn’t adapt well to the new life. In public schools, he had a rough time and was probably beaten up and made fun of (he is small in size and not athletic). One time all his money was stolen in school. My parents were busy working and I also didn’t have time to pay much attention to him.

His situation got worse as later on. He studied very hard in high school and made it to a decent college. He actually did well in college in terms of grades. But in terms of his social life, it was a total disaster. His couldn’t find a decent job and started working as a security guard. I believe it wasn’t a pleasant experience either. What probably made things worse was his problems with a girl, who didn’t reciprocate his affection. He was unemployed for a while, and was able to land a job later on. Thank God he has been able to hold on to this job, although it doesn’t pay much.

I’ve moved away after getting married and finding a job out of state. I have tried to keep in touch with him and my family. But soon after my move, his attitude towards me got worse. At first, he would stop talking to me and avoiding me. Later on he actually hostile to me, calling me names and making prank phone calls, etc. His situation has gotten worse over the years. I believe he hated me for “abandoning” him.

Fast forward to today, he is still living with my mother who is in her 70s. He is still pretty much a loner. His contacts with me are limited to crisis situations when he needed help. Otherwise, he would send me insulting emails once a while. He has a lot of fear about his financial situation and his future. His fear turns into negative emotions and hatred towards other people. Basically he blames others for all his problems. He is poor because he comes from a poor family. He blames his inability to find a better job on his inability to drive and his lack of a graduate degree (and blames me for not helping him pay for his education). And he is not able to drive now because his family didn’t have a car before ( the reality is tat he is too nervous to drive although he has been taking driving lessons for the past 10-20 years and has a driver’s license!).

He is lucky to have a job now. The way he acts and talks - pretty much giveaway of his emotional issues.

He expects financial assistance from his family members and relatives without shame. In fact, I sometimes feel like he is just a bum.

Despite all his issues, I still love him and want to help him. I’ve prayed for him for many years. I’ve tried to talk to him about his issues and asked other church friends to talk to him. But it seems that he is stuck in his own “la-la-land” and wouldn’t listen to other people. He continues to blame others for his problems. Although he has some savings he refuses to spend money on anything.

What he needs is counseling or psychiatric assistance. He had seen a doctor (probably a mental professional) for ten years and then stopped. He said there is no use seeing a doctor as he/she wouldn’t be able to teach him how to drive. It also sounds like he was arguing with the doctor that he used to see during the session. Now he still has some medication left from his previous visits. But my mother said he would not take the meds because he is afraid he would run out of them when he needs them in the future!

Recently when I suggested that he should see a doctor again. He said he would see one when he has more money. I am not sure if his medical insurance would cover these visits (he said medical insurance “costs too much”). I even offered to pay for his medical visits but he said he only wanted pocket money from me - meaning he wants to spend it in his own way. Of course, there is no way I can force him to see a doctor. But I am afraid he may get worse (although he is already in very bad shape now).

Sorry for this long email. I can go on even longer. But this is a good overview of the situation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! I can provide further info if needed.

Thank you!

 

[JamalChristophr]

You are indeed in a conundrum. It’s very clear that he needs competent mental health intervention. Perhaps you could get him to comply by providing him with some kind of incentive for cooperating in this whole affair. For one thing, it depends on how much you can help him financially. If you agreed to give him some pocket money on the condition that he comply with getting the help he needs, that strategy might be successful.

You ought to pray for him, certainly. But there is only so much you can do. Try not to blame him for his mental health problems, although I’m sure you are often tempted to do so. At the same time, don’t take it all upon yourself to fix the situation. Keep in mind what is in your sphere of influence and what you have to completely leave to God’s Providence and your brother’s free will.

 

[zamyrabyrd]

Dear Forum Friends:

I need some advice about a family matter that has bothered me for many years. I have a younger brother who is in his 40s, but he still lives with my elderly mother. He has serious emotional and borderline mental issues. The cause is probably genetics as my late father also had as similar issues. We are an immigrant family, and although my brother came here in his early teens he couldn’t adapt well to the new life. In public schools, he had a rough time and was probably beaten up and made fun of (he is small in size and not athletic). One time all his money was stolen in school. My parents were busy working and I also didn’t have time to pay much attention to him.

His situation got worse as later on. He studied very hard in high school and made it to a decent college. He actually did well in college in terms of grades. But in terms of his social life, it was a total disaster. His couldn’t find a decent job and started working as a security guard. I believe it wasn’t a pleasant experience either. What probably made things worse was his problems with a girl, who didn’t reciprocate his affection. He was unemployed for a while, and was able to land a job later on. Thank God he has been able to hold on to this job, although it doesn’t pay much.

I’ve moved away after getting married and finding a job out of state. I have tried to keep in touch with him and my family. But soon after my move, his attitude towards me got worse. At first, he would stop talking to me and avoiding me. Later on he actually hostile to me, calling me names and making prank phone calls, etc. His situation has gotten worse over the years. I believe he hated me for “abandoning” him.

Fast forward to today, he is still living with my mother who is in her 70s. He is still pretty much a loner. His contacts with me are limited to crisis situations when he needed help. Otherwise, he would send me insulting emails once a while. He has a lot of fear about his financial situation and his future. His fear turns into negative emotions and hatred towards other people. Basically he blames others for all his problems. He is poor because he comes from a poor family. He blames his inability to find a better job on his inability to drive and his lack of a graduate degree (and blames me for not helping him pay for his education). And he is not able to drive now because his family didn’t have a car before ( the reality is tat he is too nervous to drive although he has been taking driving lessons for the past 10-20 years and has a driver’s license!).

He is lucky to have a job now. The way he acts and talks - pretty much giveaway of his emotional issues.

He expects financial assistance from his family members and relatives without shame. In fact, I sometimes feel like he is just a bum.

Despite all his issues, I still love him and want to help him. I’ve prayed for him for many years. I’ve tried to talk to him about his issues and asked other church friends to talk to him. But it seems that he is stuck in his own “la-la-land” and wouldn’t listen to other people. He continues to blame others for his problems. Although he has some savings he refuses to spend money on anything.

What he needs is counseling or psychiatric assistance. He had seen a doctor (probably a mental professional) for ten years and then stopped. He said there is no use seeing a doctor as he/she wouldn’t be able to teach him how to drive. It also sounds like he was arguing with the doctor that he used to see during the session. Now he still has some medication left from his previous visits. But my mother said he would not take the meds because he is afraid he would run out of them when he needs them in the future!

Thank you!

I don’t know if this will apply to you and your situation, but I have found from personal experience, reading, and sharing with others that the behavior of one family member does not exist in a void. This past weekend has been the 10 year anniversary of not only my father’s passing but can only be described as a lynch by my family members towards me. I happen to live abroad so I was not aware of the slander and defamation going on that came to the surface during interactions with siblings with phone calls and mail. The snubbing and hatred was quite unbelievable while they were accusing me of the same.

What I am saying is your brother’s behavior may not be as severe if he didn’t have some kind of enabling. We can point out that so and so did this, bad experiences in high school, bullying, etc. but many people went through the same or worse but managed to overcome. One can say adverse experiences can make or break and it has to do with the character of the person. This is very telling: “Basically he blames others for all his problems.” And, sorry to ask, but does your mother agree with him?

Changing a group dynamic or the character structure of those who are supposed to be family is too difficult and in fact, impossible. Sure, I would prefer that my family would love me instead of hate me. But I can’t change them. In fact, the gap is too large between me and them as it was in the story of Lazarus and the rich man. We can only change or improve ourselves and that is hard enough. Even parents have to draw the line between themselves and their kids, to be firm in values but not accept abuse or be an enabler.

Frequently druggies and alcoholics play a game of “rescue me”, draw in the helper and then lead both of them into the mud. This is one good reason not to play. Not caring or seeming not to, might be a good option. Then the expected rescuing feedback will not be forthcoming. I could also go on about the concept of “rescue” which is also very prevalent in my own family and has very perverse implications, though seeming innocent.

 

[808Catholic]

Pray, pray, pray! Your brother may be beyond help from any of his family members but God can soften even the hardest of hearts. Does your brother attend Mass? Does he confess his sins? Does he try to read the Bible and take care of his spiritual needs? As tough as it may seem, his eternal soul is the bigger issue than his unemployment. Pray for him. God bless you for being such a loving sibling!

 

[JamalChristophr]

I think one needs to draw a distinction between not enabling and being a facilitator of positive change in another person’s life.

Often, when one fully withdraws all assistance from a person in serious need, that person does not get any better but truly crashes and burns never to rise again.

 

[jaimeleglise]

Would he qualify for state sponsored insurance or Federal disability payments?
Is there a local Community mental health day program he could attend?
The State Unemployment Center offers job training and job search assistance.

Take good care of yourself. Praying for you.

 

[oliver927]

This is a little off topic but you mentioned that your mother is in her 70s. I would take positive steps to ensure that if the time comes later in life where she needs assistance handling her finances or legal affairs that you handle it and not your brother. There was a similar situation with my wife’s grandmother where my wife’s aunt took advantage of the situation monetarily. That only caused more family issues which it does not sound like you need more of.

 

[zamyrabyrd]

I think one needs to draw a distinction between not enabling and being a facilitator of positive change in another person’s life.

Often, when one fully withdraws all assistance from a person in serious need, that person does not get any better but truly crashes and burns never to rise again.

I get what you are saying and surely it is an art to negotiate all gradations between active help and benevolently letting go. Some people though are experts in drawing others into their messes, expecting to be rescued then turn the whole business upside down, ready to start over again. This is characteristic of substance addicts but also of relationships.
It is necessary to see if there is a pattern over time that just seems to be repeating.
What I am saying is people don’t change unless THEY feel uncomfortable enough to want to do something about it.

 

[schaeffer]

Would he qualify for state sponsored insurance or Federal disability payments?
Is there a local Community mental health day program he could attend?
The State Unemployment Center offers job training and job search assistance.

Take good care of yourself. Praying for you.

^^This^^

It sounds as if your brother has serious chronic mental illness. Getting him competent help isn’t enabling him in his illness, it’s equipping him to function at the best of his abilities.

Dealing with mental illness is extremely difficult…for the person who has mental illness as well as their family. Try to approach it the way you would any serious illness, helping him get the care he needs. The fact that it is chronic adds to the difficulty because caring for him can seem a thankless and draining responsibility.

I understand his fear for his future, his portioning out meds, his not being able to afford to see a dr, inability to hold a job etc. I live with it myself. If you can, find all the resources that are available and introduce him to them, help him get started. It is very scary and difficult to do all those things alone.

 

[topsaulez]

You are indeed in a conundrum. It’s very clear that he needs competent mental health intervention. Perhaps you could get him to comply by providing him with some kind of incentive for cooperating in this whole affair. For one thing, it depends on how much you can help him financially. If you agreed to give him some pocket money on the condition that he comply with getting the help he needs, that strategy might be successful.

You ought to pray for him, certainly. But there is only so much you can do. Try not to blame him for his mental health problems, although I’m sure you are often tempted to do so. At the same time, don’t take it all upon yourself to fix the situation. Keep in mind what is in your sphere of influence and what you have to completely leave to God’s Providence and your brother’s free will.

Thank you Jamal for the advice. Yes, incentives are a good idea, and I’ll try that. The problem is that I can’t really verify it if he doesn’t do it. But I may try to find actual doctors for him to make it easier to make the appointments. Yes, I will keep on praying for him. Yes, I do sometimes ask God why my brother has to be so “unfortunate” in different ways. I will try to trust God too. It is just that when he acts and talks nonsensically and irrationally; it makes me feel very depressed. He would say something like (to my mom): why did you give birth to me? He would also say that he should have killed himself many times for a long time. I realize that people who tell others about their plans to commit suicide are the ones who usually don’t do it, but I can’t count on it either. I guess my concern for him stems partially from self-love - that I would really hate myself if my brother ever does anything stupid. But thank you for your kind words and prayers!

 

[topsaulez]

I don’t know if this will apply to you and your situation, but I have found from personal experience, reading, and sharing with others that the behavior of one family member does not exist in a void. This past weekend has been the 10 year anniversary of not only my father’s passing but can only be described as a lynch by my family members towards me. I happen to live abroad so I was not aware of the slander and defamation going on that came to the surface during interactions with siblings with phone calls and mail. The snubbing and hatred was quite unbelievable while they were accusing me of the same.

What I am saying is your brother’s behavior may not be as severe if he didn’t have some kind of enabling. We can point out that so and so did this, bad experiences in high school, bullying, etc. but many people went through the same or worse but managed to overcome. One can say adverse experiences can make or break and it has to do with the character of the person. This is very telling: “Basically he blames others for all his problems.” And, sorry to ask, but does your mother agree with him?

Changing a group dynamic or the character structure of those who are supposed to be family is too difficult and in fact, impossible. Sure, I would prefer that my family would love me instead of hate me. But I can’t change them. In fact, the gap is too large between me and them as it was in the story of Lazarus and the rich man. We can only change or improve ourselves and that is hard enough. Even parents have to draw the line between themselves and their kids, to be firm in values but not accept abuse or be an enabler.

Frequently druggies and alcoholics play a game of “rescue me”, draw in the helper and then lead both of them into the mud. This is one good reason not to play. Not caring or seeming not to, might be a good option. Then the expected rescuing feedback will not be forthcoming. I could also go on about the concept of “rescue” which is also very prevalent in my own family and has very perverse implications, though seeming innocent.

Thank you Zamyrabyrd for the feedback and sharing of personal experiences!

I certainly feel for you. To be slandered or misunderstood by one’s own family members is indeed painful. Since we can’t choose our family, we just have to swallow it and learn how to live with it. Even as an adult and father, whenever I go to church and see how other families are cerebration masses happily together, I would secretly feel envious. I never experienced that joy and union with my family members. It is a void that is difficult to fill.

I was not sure if I am an enabler; maybe I was. Now I actually feel guilty because of my moving away far away from him, and he would say actually say it to me too. I guess I didn’t consider carefully about their situation when everybody was younger. I also have had opportunities to move back closer to them but I didn’t because it would mean uprooting my own family. And I wasn’t sure if I did the right thing to date.

My mother understands his problems too and also tried to help him; she actually has been verbally telling him his problems. But so far he would not listen; he thinks she doesn’t know anything.

I have been drawing a line with my brother too. If he is able to take care of himself, I don’t really care if he hates me. But I am just concerned that he might get worse and end up doing silly things. For instance, he would be screaming for no reasons at home or even outside on the street. It is out of concern for him and also out of self-concern (that I wouldn’t be able to accept bad things happening to him) that I wanted to help him. Another reason that I couldn’t draw the line was also because of my mother. They sort of have this co-dependence relationship now.

Yes, I did act as rescuer several times, last of which was when he was being evicted by the landlord. I couldn’t really do much except being there for them as their support and helped them move after they’ve finally found a place to move to.

Thanks again for your advice. Please pray for us!

 

[topsaulez]

Pray, pray, pray! Your brother may be beyond help from any of his family members but God can soften even the hardest of hearts. Does your brother attend Mass? Does he confess his sins? Does he try to read the Bible and take care of his spiritual needs? As tough as it may seem, his eternal soul is the bigger issue than his unemployment. Pray for him. God bless you for being such a loving sibling!

Dear 808: thank you for the kind words. Yes, I will certainly keep on praying for him. And I do believe his heart will soften if it is the Will of God. Unfortunately, he has not been baptized. Yes, you are absolutely right about his soul. In fact, this is also my major worry. He is holding on so much negative emotions (hatred, jealousy, grudges, etc.) against others and the world that it would be very difficult for his soul to rest in peace. In fact, I have been praying that he will at least agree to be baptized so that he will begin his life as a Christian.

Thank you and please keep us in your prayers!

 

[topsaulez]

I think one needs to draw a distinction between not enabling and being a facilitator of positive change in another person’s life.

Often, when one fully withdraws all assistance from a person in serious need, that person does not get any better but truly crashes and burns never to rise again.

Yes Jamal. I agree!

 

[topsaulez]

Would he qualify for state sponsored insurance or Federal disability payments?
Is there a local Community mental health day program he could attend?
The State Unemployment Center offers job training and job search assistance.

Take good care of yourself. Praying for you.

Thank you Jaime for the kind words and suggestion!

He has a job so he probably wouldn’t qualify for State and Federal benefits. I believe he used to see a community-based doctor for free for many years. Late on, after he found a job he no longer qualify and he doesn’t want to pay to see the doctor. I am not sure if his job insurance would cover it. But ultimately he has to be willing to do it himself. And I will continue to convince him to seek help.

Please keep us in your prayers! Thank you!

 

[topsaulez]

This is a little off topic but you mentioned that your mother is in her 70s. I would take positive steps to ensure that if the time comes later in life where she needs assistance handling her finances or legal affairs that you handle it and not your brother. There was a similar situation with my wife’s grandmother where my wife’s aunt took advantage of the situation monetarily. That only caused more family issues which it does not sound like you need more of.

Thank you Oliver. That is great advice. My mother does not have a lot of assets. It is more her healthcare and elderly issues that have slowing becoming issues for us. I will pay attention to them. Thank you!

 

[topsaulez]

^^This^^

It sounds as if your brother has serious chronic mental illness. Getting him competent help isn’t enabling him in his illness, it’s equipping him to function at the best of his abilities.

Dealing with mental illness is extremely difficult…for the person who has mental illness as well as their family. Try to approach it the way you would any serious illness, helping him get the care he needs. The fact that it is chronic adds to the difficulty because caring for him can seem a thankless and draining responsibility.

I understand his fear for his future, his portioning out meds, his not being able to afford to see a dr, inability to hold a job etc. I live with it myself. If you can, find all the resources that are available and introduce him to them, help him get started. It is very scary and difficult to do all those things alone.

Thank yo Schaeffer for the great advice! I am very sorry that you have to live through these issues yourself. It must be difficult for you.

All you said is correct. Mental illness is extremely difficult to deal with. The stigma, the embarrassment and also the general lack of resources in our society to deal with mentally ill persons. Sad to say that resources are also lacking in Catholic Church in this respect. I will try to find him resources, but ultimately he has to be willing to take actions as I can’t really force him to do anything. Thank you very much again and please keep us in your prayers and I will do the same!

 

[808Catholic]

Dear 808: thank you for the kind words. Yes, I will certainly keep on praying for him. And I do believe his heart will soften if it is the Will of God. Unfortunately, he has not been baptized. Yes, you are absolutely right about his soul. In fact, this is also my major worry. He is holding on so much negative emotions (hatred, jealousy, grudges, etc.) against others and the world that it would be very difficult for his soul to rest in peace. In fact, I have been praying that he will at least agree to be baptized so that he will begin his life as a Christian.

Thank you and please keep us in your prayers!

God hears ALL prayers not just those from Christians and His mercy is unlimited. I know you’ll continue to pray for your brother as we’ll all continue to pray for you and your family. I know first hand of the power of prayer because I’m on the receiving side. For many years, I was a very bad person and thought nothing of it. I clawed my way to the top of the “corporate ladder”, was recognized as a leader in my profession, and was, by outside observers, a great guy. How false! I was the very worst of people, a liar and deceiver like the evil one. I’d like to blame the evil one for my horrible sins but I know they were all my doing. Through all this, my dearest wife continued to love me because she knew Christ was within my somewhere even though I kept turning Him away. Through her prayers, I did turn around. Nothing earth shattering or “biblical” (no, I didn’t hear the voice of the late Charlton Heston in his role as Moses in the The Ten Commandments!) but the Holy Spirit kept nudging me back towards God. It took years and I’m still trying to discern my way back to Him but I have the love of God and the love of my unwavering wife to thank. Her prayers guided me back and I cannot thank God enough for her. Keep praying. God hears you. In His time, your brother will be baptized and will come to love Our Lord as much as you do. God Bless you and protect you.

 

[JamalChristophr]

Thank you Jamal for the advice. Yes, incentives are a good idea, and I’ll try that. The problem is that I can’t really verify it if he doesn’t do it. But I may try to find actual doctors for him to make it easier to make the appointments. Yes, I will keep on praying for him. Yes, I do sometimes ask God why my brother has to be so “unfortunate” in different ways. I will try to trust God too. It is just that when he acts and talks nonsensically and irrationally; it makes me feel very depressed. He would say something like (to my mom): why did you give birth to me? He would also say that he should have killed himself many times for a long time. I realize that people who tell others about their plans to commit suicide are the ones who usually don’t do it, but I can’t count on it either. I guess my concern for him stems partially from self-love - that I would really hate myself if my brother ever does anything stupid. But thank you for your kind words and prayers!

Certainly. I pray for all my CAF friends at Adoration, but I will try and remember to pray for your intention specifically. God Bless!!

Praying the rosary will put your heart more at peace. (99% sure on that)

Somehow, not sure exactly how, you do need to verify. And also, you might look on catholictherapists.com/ for a therapist, but I reckon he may have other needs beyond that.

May Our Lady guide you.

 

[zamyrabyrd]

Thank you Zamyrabyrd for the feedback and sharing of personal experiences!

I certainly feel for you. To be slandered or misunderstood by one’s own family members is indeed painful. Since we can’t choose our family, we just have to swallow it and learn how to live with it. Even as an adult and father, whenever I go to church and see how other families are cerebration masses happily together, I would secretly feel envious. I never experienced that joy and union with my family members. It is a void that is difficult to fill.

I was not sure if I am an enabler; maybe I was. Now I actually feel guilty because of my moving away far away from him, and he would say actually say it to me too. I guess I didn’t consider carefully about their situation when everybody was younger. I also have had opportunities to move back closer to them but I didn’t because it would mean uprooting my own family. And I wasn’t sure if I did the right thing to date.

My mother understands his problems too and also tried to help him; she actually has been verbally telling him his problems. But so far he would not listen; he thinks she doesn’t know anything.

I have been drawing a line with my brother too. If he is able to take care of himself, I don’t really care if he hates me. But I am just concerned that he might get worse and end up doing silly things. For instance, he would be screaming for no reasons at home or even outside on the street. It is out of concern for him and also out of self-concern (that I wouldn’t be able to accept bad things happening to him) that I wanted to help him. Another reason that I couldn’t draw the line was also because of my mother. They sort of have this co-dependence relationship now.

Yes, I did act as rescuer several times, last of which was when he was being evicted by the landlord. I couldn’t really do much except being there for them as their support and helped them move after they’ve finally found a place to move to.

Thanks again for your advice. Please pray for us!

Thanks for responding directly to me and some validation for my own family issues. I find that sharing our own experiences helps us to understand what others are going through. This might prompt a “oh, this happened to me, too”. And sure, I feel deep disappointment that my family is not going to church together and having Sunday lunches for the whole family like my godmother and husband were doing for years.

The similarities between your family and mine are 1) the immigrant experience (although my grandparents came over from Europe) where there is a disjunct between what is perceived that everyone is doing and not being able to fit in. I say perception because we really do not know behind the scene how those good churchgoers are behaving at home and if America is really what is portrayed in films or TV.
2) Metabolic issues, you said your father was similar to your brother or vice versa. Not being able to process carbohydrate are at the basis of many mental states. There is a hop, skip and a jump to alcoholism and drugs. I suspect substance abuse when people are off the rails like what you mentioned “screaming on the streets”.
3) Please DO NOT apologize or feel guilty because you moved away from them. As with me, it may have been your ONLY ticket to mental health. I realize that a large portion of my family’s hatred for me is rooted in their frustration that they did not get away. Yes, I do have the benefit of objectivity (well, not completely) because of the distance of time and space. I didn’t use this yardstick to beat them but thought if I tell them our mother has a personality disorder and we should help one another, they would say “eureka, let’s do it”. Instead, they hated me even more so, and one of them attends regular Sunday Mass, sends his kids to Catholic school and everything else.

Getting back to substance issues, it is amazing how protective and ingenious addicts can be. I have problems with my younger son who got into a wrong crowd. He still has problems after 10 years of graduating high school, “finding himself” although he works, thank goodness. However, I get the impression that he is trying to reconcile a rather anarchic style of existence (taste in horrible music as well) with being an upright and productive member of society.

He wants to have both worlds but unless he is Mick Jagger, this won’t happen and I mean it in the sense of making a fortune but not personal happiness. One the persons who has prayed for him, asked that God would break the teeth of those who are telling him lies. I think I may have gotten his attention apart from the insults of last year but I don’t know if he is putting on an act to get more money out of us. Do you get my drift?

This is the fine line between enabling and letting go enough for the trouble person to find his own way. And unfortunately, if their own lifestyles do not cause them enough pain, they will not give them up. Like the valve on a pressure cooker, they will blame you and what happened to them years ago in order not to take responsibility for anything.

 

[jaimeleglise]

Also, you might want to check out NAMI, a national group that supports and helps the Mentally ill and their families. They could provide support and resources for you. Don’t go it alone.