Empathy for those who leave the Church over "little things"

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DisorientingSneeze

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This might not be so mind blowing to some of you, but it caught me off guard this morning. I figured I’d share it here.

https://www.catholicweekly.com.au/s...ople-who-leave-the-church-over-little-things/

It’s so tempting for us to react, why would you leave Jesus in the Eucharist over (whatever little thing). The truth is it’s equally little things that bring us into the Church and sometimes little things that keep us in the Church. Little things matter.
 
DisorientingSneeze said:
This might not be so mind blowing to some of you, but it caught me off guard this morning. I figured I’d share it here.

https://www.catholicweekly.com.au/s...ople-who-leave-the-church-over-little-things/

It’s so tempting for us to react, why would you leave Jesus in the Eucharist over (whatever little thing). The truth is it’s equally little things that bring us into the Church and sometimes little things that keep us in the Church. Little things matter.
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Since faith is a gift of the Holy Spirit, it can be lost voluntarily. A person must cooperate with sanctifying grace to retain it, and to believe in each Sacrament to receive it validly.
 
I get the general point of the article, although I disagree with the author saying “our faith is shallow” when she means we’re there by the grace of God. I don’t think the vast majority of strong Catholics I know have a “shallow” faith. It may have been a small thing that got them to take the first step towards being a strong Catholic, but it gets less and less “shallow” over time.

My concern with people who say, “the usher yelled at me so I just never went back” is that, just like the story of the person with the strong faith that started out by hearing pretty church bells or whatever, it’s very probably not the whole story. Somebody who up and leaves the Church because of one bad encounter with a priest, usher or parish admin didn’t just leave because of that. They were having some kind of a struggle or dryness in their faith before it happened, and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I could make a list of bad encounters I’ve had in my life with sisters, priests, other Catholics and none of them made me leave the Church because I didn’t already have a big load on the camel’s back waiting for the next straw to land.

I think often the statement, “Well, you don’t leave Jesus over something that small” is pointing out that something more must have been going on and trying to get at what that was.
 
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Our oldest son left the church after he was confirmed. My wife and I had always brought the kids to mass each weekend, and he just looked at us after his confirmation and said something to the effect of “The Church says I’m an adult now, so you can’t force me to go to mass any longer.”

I pray for him everyday. Someday he will embrace the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit will bring him back. I hope I am alive still when that happens, but the important thing is that it happens.
 
Out of likes. ❤️

I feel the same way. People leaving over even “big” things (scandals) have a faith problem if they give up receiving the Eucharist because of those things.
 
I can remember when I was young and had a major disagreement with Church teaching on some particular subjects. I never brought up those subjects, which directly affected me and my behavior. Instead I would point to Church teaching on another subject which did not directly affect me and my behavior and cite that as my big problem with the Church because otherwise I would have had to admit to people like parents and other Catholics that I was committing sins.

So, I understand why people find excuses to leave, but the excuses often don’t address the heart of the matter, which is often something like “the Church has not been supportive of me in my life struggles over the last 5 years” or “nobody at this church is my age or friendly like I want and now an usher just reprimanded me so that’s the end” or “I want to go commit sin X and I need some excuse that will justify it to myself so I will point to the Church scandal about Y”.
 
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How about, " I was told that what I did was an unforgivable and I was going to Hell? "

No, what she did wasn’t a sin, and certainly not unforgivable.

That was my mom. See she had a hysterectomy without church permission.

She was living in a foreign country with only one priest available. He told her that her job was to have babies. And having a hysterectomy without permission was going to send her to hell.

She left the Church. And so did my father.

They both eventually came back.
 
Boy said:
Hey I have a question it’s kinda important
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Welcome to CAF! If you have a question you would like to ask, your best bet would be to start a new thread with the question as the subject heading and any further details in the body of your post.
 
I wonder how many women, mothers, were told this, by priests who honestly thought they were helping them spiritually. It is painful to hear those blunt assertions, which surely were cause of some leaving (not only the women but others too).
 
Crocus said:
I wonder how many women, mothers, were told this, by priests who honestly thought they were helping them spiritually. It is painful to hear those blunt assertions, which surely were cause of some leaving (not only the women but others too).
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A story written by a priest in a book I read a couple of years ago (in French, forgot the title). It was from another priest and presented as a story about why the Church needed to change. Story takes place, I believe, in the 50s.

A woman goes to confession. The priests asks if she is pregnant. She says no. Then asks if she’s nursing a baby. She says no. Then he says “then I can’t give you absolution”. She responds something to the effect “you can stuff your absolution where the sun doesn’t shine, I’ve been widowed for 3 years…”

Stories like that are why Vatican II had to happen.
 
The parable of the sower. The man who wanted to turn back and bury his father. The rich man who walked away from our Lord in sadness. Contrast that with Saint Peter:
“Lord we have given up everything to follow you”
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I believe that, in the final analysis, it is not so much the little things that matter (although they do), it is, as Saint Peter said: everything.
 
I’ve always figured that my mother didn’t leave the Church. Rather she was told to get out.

All this because she dared to ask a priest for a blessing before she went into surgery. And she hadn’t asked permission to have the surgery.
 
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