Encountering an antagonistic person

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BornInMarch

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Sometimes in life you encounter rude people, and sometimes those rude people decide to intentionally press your buttons to make you angry.

What are some ways you’ve found of handing such situations?
 
BornInMarch said:
Sometimes in life you encounter rude people, and sometimes those rude people decide to intentionally press your buttons to make you angry.
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Yeah. And the worst is when that antagonistic person is a relative who cherishes a special hatred for you, and others in the family nevertheless insist that in spite of his/her antagonistic behavior it nevertheless remains your duty to maintain a “civilized relationship” with him/her. And expect you to keep this up for years, even decades.
 
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This is easier said than done, but, maintain an even disposition around that person and pray for them.
 
Antagonistic people want attention – especially negative attention. Don’t give it. In Matthew 10:16, Our Lord tells us: “Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and simple as doves.” So I’m saying, pray for them, but don’t be a doormat.
 
“Don’t give crap. Don’t take crap” - Taleb’s Fat Tony. Be respectful to all and never initiate antagonisim. But if someone starts with you stand your ground. “If you don’t stand up you don’t stand a chance.” - Squonk.

It doesn’t mean getting angry and escalating the hostility. Rather be firm and reasonable and make them aware that you demand to be treated with respect due to all human beings. Ask them just what makes them so special and superior that gives them the right to treat others rudely. And remind them of the golden rule. If it still doesn’t sink in make a deal with them that neither of you will acknowledge or say a word to the other until they change their ways. All the while pray for them.
 
I assume “kick them in the shins” is the wrong answer.
 
“All you want is that I get angry and we have a row. I have decided that I am not going to get angry so you better find something else to do. I am going to read this book or do the dishes or whatever needs to be done. If you want to talk with me then do that in a polite manner.” If the person continues then leave. You are the one who decides if you are going to get angry, not that person.
 
BornInMarch said:
rude people decide to intentionally press your buttons to make you angry.
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I removed my buttons.

Seriously though, if you can keep in mind that you have a connection to God always then that can alleviate feelings of anger. Imagine you are there in that situation and God is watching to see how you respond for example. It’s not always easy I admit.

The other aspect of it is I sometimes try to understand why someone is behaving that way. Is it malicious or is it being done through a weakness, a weakness borne of their ego for example.

It’s a journey we’re on, and so are they. Perhaps I can learn something from such a situation and perhaps I can teach them something too. Maybe we can take it as an opportunity to evangelise through example.
 
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Depends on the situation. Sometimes the best is to walk away. Like St Paul said, they stand self-condemned.
By the way, the same applies to CAF. Don’t let ill-intentioned people provoke you to anger. Better to walk away from the argument.
 
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