"Encouraging" A Guy to Talk to You

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OdetteOdille

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I know sometimes guys will ask how to approach a girl after mass but what about advice for a girl who wants to “encourage” 😛 a guy to talk to her? This guy seems to be very shy and I’ve had very limited interaction with him (although he did introduce himself). I don’t usually see him after I say my prayers after mass.

I figured if he’s interested he would wait around to talk to me, right? My friend says guys don’t generally just go up to women they don’t know and start talking to them, even in a church setting where it would be safe. Any thoughts?
 
There are girls I’m attracted to and yet I do nothing. I have some social anxiety and am deathly shy at times, especially with a girl I might like. Guys like me are hard to approach perhaps.

I would recommend this: say a prayer to the Holy Spirit, then take action yourself:

Go up and talk to him. Take the initiative. Ask his name, and yada yada yada. With time he may become comfortable around you and be at ease with you. Second or third time you talk to him, ask him if he want’s to have coffee or any such silly thing we humans do.

Take a risk.

This is just from my perspective as a very shy guy for the most part, who very infrequently approaches a gal, yet is definitely not uninterested. lol…but then again, perhaps the guy has different things going on. We are all quite different I suppose.

God Bless!!
 
Its ok for girls to make the first move.

You can go and start the conversation and you can even ask him if he would llike to go out for coofee for a lunch
 
It took me until I was 30 to just take a risk and ask a nice girl if she would like to make it official and I guess to also meet someone from a dating site and start to get to know and go out with her, I’m glad I did it. Don’t be afraid to take risk in life otherwise you will look back and think to yourself I should of asked her or done that.

If you want something to happened between you to sometimes you must acted and not wait.
 
I figured if he’s interested he would wait around to talk to me, right?
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Not really. Before I was married, I never really thought about picking up women at Church.
My friend says guys don’t generally just go up to women they don’t know and start talking to them,
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Well, I wish some more men would take risks like that.
even in a church setting where it would be safe.
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Actually, I would tell guys not to do that in the actual part of the Church, but once outside after Mass is fine.
Any thoughts?
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You need to make it “okay” for him to proceed. As someone said, smile at him, maybe even touch his arm or shoulder (not in a lustful way :tsktsk) after you’ve talked to him a few times. This is sort of your way of giving him permission to show interest in you.

I can tell you you’re going to have to take the initiative and be patient.

If there is anywhere else you can do these things with him besides Church, that would be best.
 
OdetteOdille said:
I know sometimes guys will ask how to approach a girl after mass but what about advice for a girl who wants to “encourage” 😛 a guy to talk to her? This guy seems to be very shy and I’ve had very limited interaction with him (although he did introduce himself). I don’t usually see him after I say my prayers after mass.

I figured if he’s interested he would wait around to talk to me, right? My friend says guys don’t generally just go up to women they don’t know and start talking to them, even in a church setting where it would be safe. Any thoughts?
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Too bad you couldn´t have a mutual friend “break the ice”.

Some people don´t get into talking in the church, itself. I´ve had some priests scold me even for talking in church, one thing, and others, as well. We´re actually not to talk in church.

It´d be best outside the building, itself, or at one of the church functions. Can you invite him to one of the church functions. Don´t they sometimes have coffee and donuts? Remind him of one of those events.
 
Seriously just go and say Hi to him, start a conversation. The idea that women should make the first contact is outdated and silly.

Dummies don’t get anything after all
 
As others have suggested I would smile and be friendly. Start a generic conversation. Hi how are you…sort of thing. Let him take it frome there. If he doesn’t he’s not interested or not interested enough.
 
JamalChristophr said:
I would recommend this: say a prayer to the Holy Spirit, then take action yourself:

Go up and talk to him. Take the initiative. Ask his name, and yada yada yada. With time he may become comfortable around you and be at ease with you. Second or third time you talk to him, ask him if he want’s to have coffee or any such silly thing we humans do.

Take a risk.

This is just from my perspective as a very shy guy for the most part, who very infrequently approaches a gal, yet is definitely not uninterested. lol…but then again, perhaps the guy has different things going on. We are all quite different I suppose.

God Bless!!
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Excellent advice!
jesus4ever said:
Its ok for girls to make the first move.

You can go and start the conversation and you can even ask him if he would llike to go out for coofee for a lunch
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I would go so far as to say it’s okay for a woman to ask a man out.
wheelie said:
Seriously just go and say Hi to him, start a conversation. The idea that women should make the first contact is outdated and silly.

Dummies don’t get anything after all
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👍
 
JamalChristophr said:
There are girls I’m attracted to and yet I do nothing. I have some social anxiety and am deathly shy at times, especially with a girl I might like. Guys like me are hard to approach perhaps.

I would recommend this: say a prayer to the Holy Spirit, then take action yourself:

Go up and talk to him. Take the initiative. Ask his name, and yada yada yada. With time he may become comfortable around you and be at ease with you. Second or third time you talk to him, ask him if he want’s to have coffee or any such silly thing we humans do.

Take a risk.

This is just from my perspective as a very shy guy for the most part, who very infrequently approaches a gal, yet is definitely not uninterested. lol…but then again, perhaps the guy has different things going on. We are all quite different I suppose.

God Bless!!
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I love the idea of praying to the Holy Spirit beforehand. I will try this next time. I already met him but I will try to talk to him the next time. It’s tricky–if I don’t see him before church and he’s already gone after Mass, I may not have the opportunity.
 
jesus4ever said:
Its ok for girls to make the first move.

You can go and start the conversation and you can even ask him if he would llike to go out for coofee for a lunch
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I am willing to start the conversation. . .I am shy myself so I don’t see myself asking him out. :eek:
 
SuperLuigi said:
**You need to make it “okay” for him to proceed. **As someone said, smile at him, maybe even touch his arm or shoulder (not in a lustful way :tsktsk) after you’ve talked to him a few times. This is sort of your way of giving him permission to show interest in you.

I can tell you you’re going to have to take the initiative and be patient.

If there is anywhere else you can do these things with him besides Church, that would be best.
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This is exactly what I don’t know how to do. I feel I’m going to have to give him a big glaring GREEN light.

Unfortunately, I’ve only seen him in church so that’s my only opportunity.
 
ClearWater said:
Too bad you couldn´t have a mutual friend “break the ice”.

Some people don´t get into talking in the church, itself. I´ve had some priests scold me even for talking in church, one thing, and others, as well. We´re actually not to talk in church.

It´d be best outside the building, itself, or at one of the church functions. Can you invite him to one of the church functions. Don´t they sometimes have coffee and donuts? Remind him of one of those events.
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There are no socials at church unfortunately. 😦

I’m also careful about talking inside the actual Church. Since he leaves right after Mass, my only opportunity is before mass. It’s a timing thing–he may come in later and I might miss him. Oh well, God’s timing I suppose.
 
wheelie said:
Seriously just go and say Hi to him, start a conversation. The idea that women should make the first contact is outdated and silly.

Dummies don’t get anything after all
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I will try the next time–again, IF the opportunity presents itself.
 
I kind of understand that a guy has a lot to lose if he approaches a woman at church and is rebuffed. I understand why more guys don’t do it. I guess I never learned how to give a green light but I’m going to pray about it and pray that if/when the opportunity presents itself, I will “just do it.” If I have any updates, I will write back. 😃
 
I put this in another post, but I’ll do it again.

Just walk up and say hey I just met you and this is crazy, but here’s my number so call me maybe.
 
Can you not arrange to “run” into him as you are leaving and strike up a conversation?
 
felsguy said:
Can you not arrange to “run” into him as you are leaving and strike up a conversation?
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I think if I didn’t say my prayers after mass I could…but I don’t think it would be a good idea to not say my prayers just to talk to a guy. :o I don’t know where he goes after mass but he’s gone.
 
adawgj said:
I put this in another post, but I’ll do it again.

Just walk up and say hey I just met you and this is crazy, but here’s my number so call me maybe.
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Hahaha that apparently only works in pop songs 😉
 
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