End of my strength In my addiction fighting

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Alex4Mary

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Almost since i can think back (im 23 now) i have been plagued by the lure of pornography since first seekng it at a young age. As a child my parents took me to therapy and helped me grow into the faith that i have now. But the issue has remained stuck in my life like gum on a shoe for what seems like forever. I went to an group home as a tennager to help with this issue. Therapists clasifed it as a sexual addiction so im not self diagnosing. Ive always had immense guilty from masturbation and pornography and although attempt to go to church often ( my guilt hits me a lot) and have discovered my devotion to the Blessed Mother. I go to confession as much as i can. Its been a long road. I know what im doing is mortal sins. Its ruined so many relationships yet i fail to resist the near occasion of sin over and over and over again. I used to cry for God to end everything when i was younger because of the shame i felt and still feel. I dont know what to do and i honestly scared God will leave me to my sin. It terrifies me that it affects my sleep. Ive known i cant do this on my own for years. But i am so tired of losing this fight for my soul. What can I do?
 
Sorry to hear this. Maintain an on-going dialog with Father at confession, and seek a spiritual director. Keep up on counseling, as long as that counseling is consistent with your faith - many are not.

Men are visually stimulated. Something is triggering your urges. Remove the triggers. That may mean dumping the internet, magazines, TV, you name it. This may not last forever, but is a sort of shock therapy to redirect your attention away from this world and its seductions. After the initial shock, you may find that you actually enjoy being disengaged from the sewer that our culture has become.

Focus on the fact that you are enjoying others who are probably on the road to hell - those who appear in porn. God loves them and does not want you or I to validate them in their choices, or to reduce them to a physical object.

Custody of the eyes! Look it up. Study it. Practice it! Will you fail at first? Of course! But, when you were a toddler and fell while taking that first step, did you remain on the floor? No! You were helped (think" God’s grace) back up and tried again. And, so it is in the war against sin.
 
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Keep persevering. Habits like that aren’t easily broken, especially if they started in the childhood years. Speak with a spiritual adviser(spiritual director) if you haven’t yet. There are mechanisms you can put in place for accountability. I can’t recall the specific names but there are programs that alert someone if you have accessed that type of sight. Continue asking Mary to assist you in weaknesses. There have been Saints who left lives of immorality to serve God. It can be done. Just don’t despair.
 
First of all ,God will never leave you to your sin. I know this, because I have had the exact same problem and seeing your post immediately reminded me of my own issues. Try talking to your priest or counselor as often as you can, and never forget that God loves you, and His love is not something you earn, it is love that can never be broken. Believe me, when it comes to the bad habit of pornography and lust, I have been there done that. While you may feel hopeless, doomed, and unsavable by God, you are not! Go to confession whenever possible, go to mass and receive communion when it’s appropriate, and always seek help from others, even when it feels uncomfortable and embarrassing to share your problem.

I’m recovering from my addiction, and I am on the right path, I know you are too, because you are speaking out about it, which takes courage.

God Bless You! My prayers are with you!
 
I was in the very same situation. Since I was a kid very very young I exposed myself to these sinful things. It wasnt until recently Ive gotten better at resisting, of course its because of God’s help.

So what would I recommend? Whats helped me is multiple things. First things first, keep going to confession, be truly sorry for your sins. Remember what the Lord says, he will forget your sins as if it never happend. So saying we do the same sins over and over again isnt the best way to put it.

Confess, take the eucharist, and also devote yourself to the rosary. Pray for more virtue and for the Lord’s help in resisting temptations, especially in our times of weakness. Definitly pray for others as well, especially those we have huet and done wrong to. The rosary has helped me in my prayer life and keeps me praying for all those who are in need of prayer.

When in weakness, distract yourself, submit to God and remember Jesus is right there in our moments. Pray and understand what the actual intnention of sex is, its for marriage. This helps mentally when in weakness because it shows what is not of God and how people misuse the act.

Also to note those who run these sites want you addicted, because then they control you and then your decisions in society will be towards vice. Its been proven that watching porn makes you more depressed because your shooting dopamine and killing off that satisfaction of being happy with something thats being misused. Hope I helped!
 
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