R
roxylu
Guest
I have been in a relationship with my best friend for the past three years. However, about two months ago, he came to me and said that he did not like me anymore, romantically. When he said that to me, I did not understand it because everything between us as I saw it was good. It was very sudden, so I asked him to give us a chance to work things out. I thought that maybe we were not seeing each other as much as usual or being as honest with each other as we could be. We decided that we would work together in order to figure out where things had gone astray.
For the next two weeks, we spent more time together. At the end of those two weeks I asked him if things had gotten better, and he replied with “A little.” I had faith that things would indeed get better, so I believed him when he said that to me. I also asked him one night if his heart was in it, he responded with “yes”. He told me that he still loved me and cared about me, but the “chemistry” was not there anymore. (At the beginning of our relationship, we were moving too fast physically. So, I asked him to slow down because I was not ready for that. I think this may have affected our situation.) I was a little insecure at this time, but he promised me that even though he had a chance to be with any other girl, he wanted to try saving the relationship he had with me. I was hopeful again.
The third week, we had winter break at the university and came back to visit our parents for the holidays. At this point, we were spending more time together and being more open about our relationship. I believed that things were getting better, but as soon as we got back to our hometown we stopped seeing each other regularly. We have been home for over a month now and we have only seen each other about four times (once a week). He tells me that he does not see anything getting better, but we will at least try until my birthday (January 15) just in case there is somethinig we can still do. Since the day that he promised me we would try until my birthday, we have only seen each other once. That time we saw each other it was to tell me that he did not want to try anymore. He said that he had decided that it was too hard for him. He could not do it anymore. I told him how much it hurt that he was breaking a promise to me because he had never done it before. I told him that God wants us to have patience and persevere. After a few hours of me talking to him about how I had a strong feeling that we must not give up yet, he decided that we could keep trying.
Now, this is not me asking for advice on my relationship. I am asking for all of your prayers as I go through this. I have read in The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, M.D. that the feeling of love can eventually die down. However, he also says that this is when a couple moves from love to genuine love because they begin to see the bigger picture of the relationship. I believe that God has brought this sudden mishap into our relationship because He wants to test our patience and perseverance.
Has anyone else been through this sort of test in a relationship?
Today I asked my mom how long marriages are possible. She told me that love is a cycle in which God brings us new opportunities to move forward. I want to believe that I will be with Luke forever because I have faith that we will be okay again. However, I am scared that if we do not stay together, I will lose my faith. I have been praying almost nonstop every day since the day Luke told me he did not like me anymore. I am so hopeful that my prayers will work.
Please, if anyone has any advice at all, help me.
Thank you.
For the next two weeks, we spent more time together. At the end of those two weeks I asked him if things had gotten better, and he replied with “A little.” I had faith that things would indeed get better, so I believed him when he said that to me. I also asked him one night if his heart was in it, he responded with “yes”. He told me that he still loved me and cared about me, but the “chemistry” was not there anymore. (At the beginning of our relationship, we were moving too fast physically. So, I asked him to slow down because I was not ready for that. I think this may have affected our situation.) I was a little insecure at this time, but he promised me that even though he had a chance to be with any other girl, he wanted to try saving the relationship he had with me. I was hopeful again.
The third week, we had winter break at the university and came back to visit our parents for the holidays. At this point, we were spending more time together and being more open about our relationship. I believed that things were getting better, but as soon as we got back to our hometown we stopped seeing each other regularly. We have been home for over a month now and we have only seen each other about four times (once a week). He tells me that he does not see anything getting better, but we will at least try until my birthday (January 15) just in case there is somethinig we can still do. Since the day that he promised me we would try until my birthday, we have only seen each other once. That time we saw each other it was to tell me that he did not want to try anymore. He said that he had decided that it was too hard for him. He could not do it anymore. I told him how much it hurt that he was breaking a promise to me because he had never done it before. I told him that God wants us to have patience and persevere. After a few hours of me talking to him about how I had a strong feeling that we must not give up yet, he decided that we could keep trying.
Now, this is not me asking for advice on my relationship. I am asking for all of your prayers as I go through this. I have read in The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, M.D. that the feeling of love can eventually die down. However, he also says that this is when a couple moves from love to genuine love because they begin to see the bigger picture of the relationship. I believe that God has brought this sudden mishap into our relationship because He wants to test our patience and perseverance.
Has anyone else been through this sort of test in a relationship?
Today I asked my mom how long marriages are possible. She told me that love is a cycle in which God brings us new opportunities to move forward. I want to believe that I will be with Luke forever because I have faith that we will be okay again. However, I am scared that if we do not stay together, I will lose my faith. I have been praying almost nonstop every day since the day Luke told me he did not like me anymore. I am so hopeful that my prayers will work.
Please, if anyone has any advice at all, help me.
Thank you.
It is hard to break up…it really is. But, I don’t think I would want to be with a guy who tells me that ‘he can be with any other girl, but he chooses me.’ Aw, thanks. 
lol I think that you can do better, frankly, roxanna. Again, I have been there…and it hurts.
But, I think that if someone truly wants to be with you, he will make you feel that way by his actions. It won’t take coaxing, and asking, and so forth to keep things going. Just my two cents.