Engagement Ring Advice

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Stephen_says

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Hey everyone!

Does anyone have good advice on how to start shopping for an engagement ring? Should I just pop into a jewelry store? Like one at a shopping mall? Should I look for an independent jewelry store, instead of going to a Kays or something like that? I’ve never done this before 😅 and I wish I could just buy it on amazon like everything else! (joking)

Any advice?
 
Always shop from a local small business when possible!

I was married for almost 30 years, never did have an engagement ring. My best advice, buy what you can pay cash for. Do not go into debt for a ring. Talk about it with your fiancee, understand her taste.

For me, I would not want a “new diamond”, I would rather have an estate piece or a family piece.
 
You can ask someone trusted to give you a recommendation for a good jeweler. I guess look at online reviews of jewelers.

With diamonds, often you purchase the stone and then you have it put in a setting. Sometimes they aren’t the same place. There are diamond brokers who just sell stones and other precious gems.
 
The stone in my ring is old, gotten in an estate and then reset. “They last forever.” So it doesn’t matter to me it was used. I don’t know anything about the previous owner. I hope she was in a happy marriage.
 
My wife’s engagement ring has the stone from my mother’s engagement ring. We just chose the setting for it. She loves it!
 
Stephen_says said:
Hey everyone!

Does anyone have good advice on how to start shopping for an engagement ring? Should I just pop into a jewelry store? Like one at a shopping mall? Should I look for an independent jewelry store, instead of going to a Kays or something like that? I’ve never done this before 😅 and I wish I could just buy it on amazon like everything else! (joking)

Any advice?
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You can ask friends and family members where they shop for their jewelry.

That’s what I would also try doing.

We went to a jewelry store where my family often shopped and that is where we ended up buying my ring and our wedding bands. I didn’t inherit a band or ring to wear, so we were both starting out with a new ring and new bands.

Some larger cities also have what’s called a “Jeweler’s Row,” which is a section of the city where certain jewelry stores are located.
 
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DO NOT go to Kay’s or any chain like that (Jared’s etc). There have been articles online about how they rip you off.

Either find a friend with connections to the diamond industry or buy a vintage/ used one. And if you’re planning to surprise your lady with it, be sure whatever you get is returnable in case she doesn’t like it.

Hubs and I picked mine out together. Vintage from 1905. They made 'em better back then.

P.S. If you really want a website, I used Brilliantearth.com to pick out my 50th birthday present from the husband. The first one had to be returned in the mail because when I got it in hand I didn’t like it, but I was able to exchange it for a better one that only cost a little more.
 
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I’d buy a plastic one out of the front of a grocery store. It’s all I can afford.
 
adamhovey1988 said:
I’d buy a plastic one out of the front of a grocery store.
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My wife and I never had engagement rings as we couldn’t afford them. We were married nearly three years before she even got a wedding ring. Mine came years after that.
 
Stephen_says said:
Any advice?
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There will be tons of advice on this subject from a number of people. Be prepared to sift through a lot of information. For what it’s worth, here is mine:

First and foremost, do not automatically assume diamond solitaire is the only way to go. What you get should depend on your intended’s taste and anyone else’s opinion is irrelevant. I must reiterate - get what she likes, not what is “expected”. My wife’s engagement ring is an oval cut sapphire surrounded by a ring of quite small diamonds, and it is definitely to her taste. Some women want to be involved in the shopping and selection, some prefer to be surprised. Follow her lead on this; you will both be happier.

Second, my firm advice, and I cannot stress this enough, do not go into significant (or any, if you can possibly avoid it) debt for engagement or wedding rings. Not relevant to the question, but the same advice should apply to the wedding itself. If you start off your life together saddled with unnecessary debt you are adding a major stressor to your relationship from the beginning.

The last bit of advice from me is more of a general observation - if you have found the right woman, and she has found the right man, the ring is secondary at most.
 
I agree totally! Stay out of debt! Get what she wants, but only what is affordable!
 
I think the most important piece of advice is to know your beloved.

I knew my wife was of the mind that it was absolutely ridiculous to leave it completely up to the (oft-clueless) man to select the most important piece of jewelry a woman will ever own, and one she will wear every day for the rest of her life. So when I proposed to her, it was with an empty ring box and we went shopping for a ring the next day.

My wife also does like to be surprised, so I had to surprise her in another way for my proposal. 😁

I’m not as wary of the chain jewelry stores as others (and that is likely just a sign of my own ignorance in the matter). We went to Jareds and I enjoyed it. They guarantee the diamond if it is ever lost (i.e the diamond falls off the band) provided you come in every 6 months for them to check the fitting. And while they are checking it, they’d clean the rings and give us some cookies. I’m certain the primary motivation for this service is that it gets you in their store twice a year when you would otherwise seldom darken their door.

They do definitely try to upsell you and get you looking at things that are probably just a little out of your price range.
 
Vintage or a family piece is fine for engagement ring. She’s marrying you not the ring itself. You don’t need to spend too much on it, remember you need money to start a home and your prospect wife is [or should] understands this.
 
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