Engaging with members of the Gay Community via Social Media

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Sheldon_126

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Hello Folks,

My first post in the forum after a pretty disturbing engagement with a person who turned out to be gay. This was on Instagram. There was a post about “Homophobes” (I am against Homophobia) by a famous journalist here in India. I was not sure whether to like or not. Prima Facie, I am against homophobia. BUT, I am also of the firm belief and conviction that homosexuality is a sin. If I step outside the confines of religion, I believe that homosexuality is a distorted sexual attraction and giving into such an attraction is unnatural and immoral. Like “normal” sexual relationships, even unnatural as it is, the body does release hormones (due to the distortion in the mind and body) that create a sense of bonding. Hence, I cannot limit my belief that Homosexuality does not have impact on society. As mentioned elsewhere in this forum, once Gay relationships are allowed, then they would want acceptance in the community followed by legalization and a “married couple” which means they are to be recognized as a family after which they would want to have children which means building up community from within. Now, as we know, the purpose of sex (as Fr. Mike Schmitz said in one of the Franciscan Conferences) is Procreation and Bonding (Babies and Bonding). While one is achieved the other is inherently impossible; hence giving credence to our conviction that such a relationship is unnatural and there by immoral (it passively hinders creation of life).
When I got in to an argument with this person, he kept coming back at me calling me a homophobe and accusing me of hatred towards the gay community and I tried to reason with him as to why his sympathy towards the community though valid and the way forward, there has to be the acknowledgement of the fact that something is wrong in such a relationship and only then there’s scope for reconciliation. It was only after a couple of back n forth is when I reviewed his profile did I realize that he was in a gay relationship. I don’t have gay friends (not by choice) so I was engaging him as he was a sympathizer. At the end of it, he says that my comments have made him feel miserable.
Now, I am wondering how do I come back from it! (Sharing his views… I wanted to show the entire conversation between us… but I guess his responses will give an idea. Start with 5, 4, 3, 2, 1)(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.) (Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.) (Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.) (Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.) (Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.) (Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
The internet is forever.

Do you want this debate with a total stranger to be pulled up for review by your boss or next time you apply for a job?

Christ did not say “By this shall all men know you are my disciples, by how you debate with others.” No, Christ said to love people. Christ meets us where we are.
 
I feel like this is a time where we need to make a decision ‘do we follow God or not?’ Let them go down the road they have chosen. You can’t change their mind.

Isn’t this a fabulous prayer card? St Joseph, terror of demons.
We are indeed a world full of demons who are without reason, spitting hatred. Turn and walk away. You don’t need to engage in that garbage throwing.

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
I would be curios to know what the gay community considers the definition of homophobia. Based on the root of the Word it appears to be “fear of man” or “fear of the same”. They seem to throw it out as if it means “against the gay agenda”
 
The Church does not teach that gay people are the result of demons.
 
What is your purpose? He’s already hurt by the position you take. You’re not going to change and neither is he.
 
With this person, there may not be scope for continued engagement. But what do I do when I encounter the next person? especially when I encounter a sympathizer? More than the gay community, I guess the ones that sympathize with them, allowing them continue their way of life and legitimizing the relationship and equating it to normal heterosexual families under the guise of equality and freedom when it intrinsically isn’t.
 
Christ never told us to go scold people we encounter. His command is that we love everyone, that we cannot hate our fellow man and love God.

When you encounter any human being, be kind, show love, and respect.
Sheldon_126 said:
especially when I encounter a sympathizer
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This sort of “us vs them” was addressed by Christ in the parable of the Pharisee and the sinner in the Temple.
 
Agreed that Christ said that our love towards all sinners is the authentic display of discipleship. Something that I picked up from that same talk of Fr. Mike… (para-phrasing); To love someone, doesn’t mean I have to accept every decision you make knowing you’re going down a rabbit hole?
Does admonishing mean that I hate the person? I wish I could show the communication… so you can see both sides of the conversation. I placed the example of parents correcting children and you can see the response.

With regards to my boss pulling up this conversation (my first ever public opinion on where I stand on the issue of homosexuality) if it is going to show me the door or deny a new job, well I guess it is my luck.
 
Sheldon_126 said:
I placed the example of parents correcting children and you can see the response.
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Parents have authority over their minor children, so, they are within their rights to admonish those children.

Your priest and your Bishop and your national conference of Bishops and the Pope all have authority over you, so, they can admonish you.

Unless persons are YOUR kids or parishioners, you do not have the authority to admonish them.
 
You have a point… so, how do you say… It is ok what you have done, but God loves you when there is no acceptance that what was done was wrong. Or we don’t go that route? And I guess that’s the dilemma which is causing a crack in the Church as well. Are we being “judgemental”? (which was what I was accused of by another). Between the homosexual person (who did not reveal himself to be one during the whole back n forth) and me, I may have chosen the wrong path. What about those who fight for their “rights”? Especially the right to have a family. I am all for no discrimination at work or travel etc. But Family and Marriage are fundamental elements of society. They are the ones who accuse us of being “judgemental”. It is like we cannot say that something is wrong. The Sexual topic (this and abortion) seem to be very touchy topics.
In the end, I feel I just have to browse through and ignore, and if I encounter a homosexual, interact with him/her the way I would others (which is obvious) but not engage with a friend (who isn’t a homosexual) on this topic.
 
I don’t know the context of the dialogue or what type of Instagram account this is but TBH, it’s social media and you don’t have to engage with anyone you don’t want to. If you continuously find yourself in these kinds of exchanges I would take a look at what type of content you are viewing and what is the intended purpose.
 
Speaking as a non-religious person - you just can’t admonish a random stranger online and expect them to agree with you, or even listen to you. You really shouldn’t take it upon yourself to “admonish”, full stop. It’s not your role nor your responsibility. Instagram isn’t the place for heavy faith conversations, especially when the person you’re talking to is obviously emotional about the subject.

Labelling people as “sympathisers” isn’t going to help you, nor is trying to find a one-size-fits-all solution, because there isn’t one. Take people as people - don’t break them down into reductive elements. Accept them as people, just like you.
 
Evan said:
Based on the root of the Word it appears to be “fear of man” or “fear of the same”.
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The Latin word homo and the Greek ὁμός are etymologically unrelated. Traditionally, grammarians insisted that words should be of Greek or Latin etymology, not a mixture of the two. In this case, “homo” is from the Greek ὁμός via the English “homosexual/homosexuality”. It therefore simply means “fear of homosexuals/homosexuality”. However, as with “Islamophobia”, the word does not so much denote fear as dislike or opposition. It’s not fear in the sense of fear of snakes or fear of heights. It’s more like the sense of hatred or opposition in the terms “misogyny” or “anti-Semitism”, despite having a different etymology.
 
I see your point. Yea… Instagram, Facebook were meant to connect with friends and share pictures. Now they’re being used for everything but above. Will take note of your advice.
 
This is exactly what I and many in the Catholic Church don’t mean. Adoptive Parents aren’t inferior to biological parents or that those who cannot conceive are no way cursed or anything. The argument beyond the confines of the religious is also scientific. Those couples who cannot conceive due to an impediment (mostly medical) are not in an unnatural union. It is natural in every way as we would look at those couples who are able to conceive. When it comes to the gay community, it is simply impossible for either partner to conceive. It isn’t an impediment. This opens a pandora’s box and now I am doing the same thing I was doing with that guy on Instagram. Trying to make a stranger understand that the idea s/he conceives is misconstrued, in plain & simple english, wrong.
 
jan10000 said:
I wish Christians and Catholics understood the pain they cause these people.
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They do. And seem to get some sort of perverse satisfaction from it, as well. It has lot to do with smoothing over one’s own inadequacies by playing up the supposed inadequacies of others.

Jesus described it perfectly in the Parable of the Pharisee and Tax Collector:

“He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.’”

Just substitute the word “Gay person” for “tax collector”, and Jesus’s meaning is crystal clear.
 
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Sheldon_126 said:
This is exactly what I and many in the Catholic Church don’t mean.
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But what you end up saying, either explicitly or implicitly, is that if you love someone of your own sex, that’s unatural.

Guess what the reaction to that will be…
 
I am sorry that you feel somehow your situation is similar to that of homosexuals. Sir, look back to two verses in the Bible, almost directly linked to each other… Genesis 2 and Matthew 19. It isn’t about sacramental marriage. I guess, there is need to understand the meaning of sacrament and I guess there is a forum for it and Catholic Answers have “experts” on the topic. Else, read any of the Church Fathers on the subject. Genesis 2 and Matthew 19 is about Marriage, and it is not only a Judeo-Christian understanding of it, but universal. Speak to a Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, all of them have the same understanding of Marriage. It is a union of Man and Woman and procreation being one of the ends. We use the words “Natural” and “Unnatural” when the argument is placed before those who don’t consider religion as basis for any order; who at least adhere to a moral structure based on Nature. I don’t know… I guess, it is better you speak with a friend who knows you personally and who understands the heart and mind of the Church because anything I say here is only going to make you feel that I am a hater or something. Which I am not. And as for the Holy Father… do go back and read the complete statement of the famous “Who am I to judge?”. And then read Genesis 2 and Matthew 19 again (I don’t generally quote bible verses for I am not a biblical scholar but this topic made me look for those specific verses so as to quote them and not appear vague). Do take this up with a friend who knows you and who understands the Heart and Mind of the Church.
 
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