Equal Rights for Gay Penguins

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Another gem from First Things (May 2005):

According to Reuters (February 11, 2005), gay and lesbian organizations are in an uproar. It seems tha tmale penguins in the zoo of Bremerhaven, Germany, have been attempting to mate with one another and to hatch offspring out of stones. the zoo has imported some female penguins from Scandanavia.

In response to protests, the zoo’s director, Heike Kueck, says, “Nobody here is trying to break up same-sex pairs by force. We don’t know if the males are really gay or just got together because of a lack of females.”

The protestors are not appeased. Giving the penguins a choice would deprive them of the choice of being gay.

And who knows whether, given time enough, the stones might hatch?
 
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mlchance:
Another gem from First Things (May 2005):

According to Reuters (February 11, 2005), gay and lesbian organizations are in an uproar. It seems tha tmale penguins in the zoo of Bremerhaven, Germany, have been attempting to mate with one another and to hatch offspring out of stones. the zoo has imported some female penguins from Scandanavia.

In response to protests, the zoo’s director, Heike Kueck, says, “Nobody here is trying to break up same-sex pairs by force. We don’t know if the males are really gay or just got together because of a lack of females.”

The protestors are not appeased. Giving the penguins a choice would deprive them of the choice of being gay.

And who knows whether, given time enough, the stones might hatch?
Click to expand...
Don’t you love First Things? This article is HILARIOUS. Here is the reality. In abnormal situations animals will display situational ‘homosexual’ behavior. These penguins have likely grown up with no females and thus their desire to mate is subverted to the only other penguins around. Frankly birds being what they are may also try to mate with inanimate objects and even people. But we must allow the penguins their right to free expression!

Lisa N
 
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mlchance:
Another gem from First Things (May 2005):

According to Reuters (February 11, 2005), gay and lesbian organizations are in an uproar. It seems tha tmale penguins in the zoo of Bremerhaven, Germany, have been attempting to mate with one another and to hatch offspring out of stones. the zoo has imported some female penguins from Scandanavia.

In response to protests, the zoo’s director, Heike Kueck, says, “Nobody here is trying to break up same-sex pairs by force. We don’t know if the males are really gay or just got together because of a lack of females.”

The protestors are not appeased. Giving the penguins a choice would deprive them of the choice of being gay.

And who knows whether, given time enough, the stones might hatch?
Click to expand...
Ask the protestors to sit on the stones and if they can get them to hatch, then we will listen to their complaints.
 
:banghead:

I haven’t been able to read the May issue yet, thanks for reminding me!
 
What exactly is their point?

“You can lead a homosexual to the opposite sex, but you can’t… oh, you can? But wait a minute, put down the sign…I thought you said… I am so confused!”
 
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mlchance:
Another gem from First Things (May 2005):

According to Reuters (February 11, 2005), gay and lesbian organizations are in an uproar. It seems tha tmale penguins in the zoo of Bremerhaven, Germany, have been attempting to mate with one another and to hatch offspring out of stones. the zoo has imported some female penguins from Scandanavia.

In response to protests, the zoo’s director, Heike Kueck, says, “Nobody here is trying to break up same-sex pairs by force. We don’t know if the males are really gay or just got together because of a lack of females.”

The protestors are not appeased. Giving the penguins a choice would deprive them of the choice of being gay.

And who knows whether, given time enough, the stones might hatch?
Click to expand...
I’m afraid to ask what they think if a male dog tries to hump his master’s leg… :eek:
 
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BLB_Oregon:
What exactly is their point?

“You can lead a homosexual to the opposite sex, but you can’t… oh, you can? But wait a minute, put down the sign…I thought you said… I am so confused!”
Click to expand...
Asinine ain’t they?
 
Church Militant:
I’m afraid to ask what they think if a male dog tries to hump his master’s leg… :eek:
Click to expand...
Well it would depend on what sex the master is. They would probably stand down the right if the master were a mistress.

Lisa N
 
James Cody:
Don’t forget free abortions for gay whales.
Click to expand...
No, no, no… that would violate the Endangered Species Act.
(Besides, one of the segments of the population that might logically have the lowest abortion rate would be the gays, no?)
Church Militant:
I’m afraid to ask what they think if a male dog tries to hump his master’s leg… :eek:
Click to expand...
I don’t know, but I’ll bet it has something to do with “The Man.”
 
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