Etiquette/Norms when greeting priests?

[morninglorya]

Hi all,

I am not Catholic but I am volunteering in NYC and will be staying in a Catholic Church for a week. I was just wondering how I should address the pastor- I have tried looking this up but there seem to be different norms based on Eastern/Latin Catholicism. If someone could help me identify the “type” (sorry if I’m not using the right word) of Catholic parish I will be attending?

Although I am not Catholic I have the utmost respect for all church authorities and would really appreciate some advice. I’d like to err on the side of caution if possible.

The church refers to itself as a “Roman Catholic Church” within the Franciscan tradition (OFM)

I’m not sure if this is enough information, but based on this:

1. Is there any particular way I should address the priest that would be most appropriate? (Your Reverence vs. Reverend Father [] vs. Father [_]
2. Should I genuflect when I meet him? Or bow?
3. Should I say “Your Father, bless” if I am not Catholic? If yes, do I kneel while crossing my palms? What if there are other people there as well (is it considered impolite to ask for a blessing?)

Also, in general, when is it acceptable to enter the sanctuary of the church? Should I sprinkle myself with holy water/cross myself/genuflect every time I enter?

Thanks so much in advance!

G

 

[puppypatrol]

Hi all,

It is great you are asking. Hope this helps.

1. Is there any particular way I should address the priest that would be most appropriate? (Your Reverence vs. Reverend Father [] vs. Father [_]Father _____ is fine but listen to how he is introduced, if they introduce him as Monsignor ______, then you should call him Monsignor __________
2. Should I genuflect when I meet him? Or bow?Just shake his had like you would anyone else.
3. Should I say “Your Father, bless” if I am not Catholic? If yes, do I kneel while crossing my palms? What if there are other people there as well (is it considered impolite to ask for a blessing?)No, it is not impolite to ask for a blessing. It would be wonderful if you would. Ask if he will give you a blessing before he leaves then just stand with your hands folded as in prayer. God’s blessings aren’t just for Catholics and most priests I know love giving them.

Also, in general, when is it acceptable to enter the sanctuary of the church? Should I sprinkle myself with holy water/cross myself/genuflect every time I enter?In a Catholic Church, the sanctuary is where the altar is. Where the congregation sits is the nave. Most people are not encouraged to enter the sanctuary unless they are participating in the liturgy because the Blessed Sacrament deserves our utmost respect. When you enter the nave of the, you can make the sign of the cross, genuflect, or do neither and just sit if you aren’t Catholic. When a Catholic genuflects, we are showing respect to the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar as it says in the Bible “every knee will bend…” If you aren’t Catholic and don’t understand the why, I guess it wouldn’t make sense to do it but, if you are willing to understand and learn, go for it.

Thanks so much in advance!

G

I hope this helps. Feel free to ask the priest in NYC if any questions come up. I am sure he would love to explain it to you.

 

[Batfink]

They are almost certainly Latin Catholics.

1. Is there any particular way I should address the priest that would be most appropriate? (Your Reverence vs. Reverend Father [___] vs. Father

Father [____] is fine. As a religious priest, you should address him as Father & his first name rather than his surname.

There will probably be a number of Franciscan friars resident, some of whom will be priests and others not. It is appropriate to address all of them as Brother [____] (first name).

Most Franciscans would be happy with Brother regardless of whether or not they are priests, and it would certainly not be incorrect. It makes life easier for you anyway, since there will be no way to distinguish priests from other brothers unless you actually see them engaging in some priestly ministry (such as saying Mass or hearing confessions).

1. Should I genuflect when I meet him? Or bow?

No, just greet him like any other acquaintance. You can’t go wrong with “Good morning Brother X.” and a smile (unless it’s the afternoon ).

1. Should I say “Your Father, bless” if I am not Catholic? If yes, do I kneel while crossing my palms? What if there are other people there as well (is it considered impolite to ask for a blessing?)

If you want a blessing, it’s fine to ask for it whether or not there are other people around (clearly you might have to wait in a queue if the other people want to talk to him).
You may kneel, I do, but most people just stand and perhaps bow their head. You don’t have to do anything special with your hands. You can just say “Father, would you give me a blessing please?” I have heard “Father, bless” on it’s own but it sounds a bit strange to me, it’s up to you.

 

[Anna_Claire]

Simply call him “Father____”. That is sufficient.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

…
Also, in general, when is it acceptable to enter the sanctuary of the church? Should I sprinkle myself with holy water/cross myself/genuflect every time I enter?

Thanks so much in advance!

G

Blessing oneself with the water is a symbol of recommitting oneself to ones Baptism. Feel free to do it or not do it as fits best with your belief.

 

[hannajomar]

Lots of good advice so far. As a general rule, if you’re unsure about something that comes up, just ask. And if you happen to make a mistake and do something contrary to the norm, it’s not a big deal. I’m Roman Catholic and recently attended a Baptism at a Russian Orthodox Church. People tend to be understanding in these situations.

 

[puppypatrol]

Father [____] is fine. As a religious priest, you should address him as Father & his first name rather than his surname.

Many priest prefer that they be addressed as Father (Last Name) The best way to get it right is to follow how he is introduced to you. Never, NEVER assume you may use his first name unless he says it is OK.

 

[IesumPerMariam]

Many priest prefer that they be addressed as Father (Last Name) The best way to get it right is to follow how he is introduced to you. Never, NEVER assume you may use his first name unless he says it is OK.

Actually, what was said before is absolutely correct. If he is a Franciscan priest, he will be addressed as Father [Firstname] or as Brother [Firstname]. Especially use Brother [Firstname] if you are not certain whether he is a priest. (A Franciscan priest will be happier called Brother than will a Franciscan non-priest being called Father.) Secular priests should be addressed by surname unless they specify otherwise. The Franciscan priest for whom I serve at Mass regularly would be extremely uncomfortable were I to call him Father [Lastname]!

As a basic rule, if he is wearing a habit (for Franciscan friars a long, hooded tunic, usually in brown, grey, or black; and cincture), call him by first name, if he is wearing a black clerical shirt or cassock with white clerical collar, go with surname unless he tells you otherwise.

If you are still uncertain though, it is okay to go with Father [Lastname] until corrected.

Also, in general, when is it acceptable to enter the sanctuary of the church? Should I sprinkle myself with holy water/cross myself/genuflect every time I enter?

In a Catholic Church, the “sanctuary” is only the area immediately around the altar. No one should be in the sanctuary unless performing a necessary function (e.g. saying Mass, serving Mass, clerics celebrating other liturgical functions, or cleaning). The main part of the Church (where the pews are) is called the “nave.” If the doors to the nave are unlocked, it is always acceptable to enter. If there is a font of holy water available in the back of the nave (and I assume you have been baptized), it would be appropriate to gently dip your fingers in the holy water and make the sign of the cross if you wish. This is a reminder of our Baptismal Grace. Genuflecting when passing before the Tabernacle (where the Eucharist is reserved – usually in the back-middle of the sanctuary) is appropriate as a sign of reverence to the Real Presence in the Eucharist; so if you do not believe in the Real Presence, you may choose to omit the genuflection.

 

[Brendan]

One caveat,

You had mentioned that the parish is Franciscan. Franciscans generally go by “Brother” rather than “Father” even if he is an ordained priest.

So if the priest in question is wearing a brown robe, it might be best to address him as “Brother”

 

[maryjk]

Many priest prefer that they be addressed as Father (Last Name) **The best way to get it right is to follow how he is introduced to you. ** Never, NEVER assume you may use his first name unless he says it is OK.

I work at our local parish. I end up introducing people to our pastor. He prefers Father ], rather then his more formal title of Monsignor {Full name}.

If someone introduces him as Monsignor {Full Name}, he will correct it to Father ].

In other words, he will tell you what to call him.

 

[Anna_Claire]

One caveat,

You had mentioned that the parish is Franciscan. Franciscans generally go by “Brother” rather than “Father” even if he is an ordained priest.

So if the priest in question is wearing a brown robe, it might be best to address him as “Brother”

That’s not exactly true. A Franciscan priest is an ordained friar but he still should be called “Father”.

 

[Brendan]

That’s not exactly true. A Franciscan priest is an ordained friar but he still should be called “Father”.

If you ask a Franciscans, he will tell you that he prefers to be called “Brother”.

I do some of the computer work at our local Capuchin soup kitchen, and that is what the men there (ordained or vowed religious) call themselves and prefer to be called.

Here is a post from Br J.R (the residend board Franciscans)

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=5803351&postcount=5

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

That’s not exactly true. A Franciscan priest is an ordained friar but he still should be called “Father”.

The Franciscan tradition is that all are brothers and many times the ordained friars will prefer to be called brother.

But just keep in mind, if you get it wrong the priest will correct you and you should go with what he prefers rather than what you think is correct.

 

[Elisabeth51]

Also, in general, when is it acceptable to enter the sanctuary of the church? Should I sprinkle myself with holy water/cross myself/genuflect every time I enter?

Thanks so much in advance!

G

You may already know this, so forgive me if you do, but I know a lot of Protestants (at least the ones I know) think of the entire inside of the church as the Sanctuary. That is not the case. The nave is the part where the congregation sits/stands/kneels. The Sanctuary is the part of the church where the altar is, where the Priest offers Mass.

As people have already answered, we genuflect out of respect to Christ and His presence there in the Sanctuary. You may do so, just think, what you would do if the Queen of England was standing there…shouldn’t God get even more reverence?

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

You may already know this, so forgive me if you do, but I know a lot of Protestants (at least the ones I know) think of the entire inside of the church as the Sanctuary. That is not the case. The nave is the part where the congregation sits/stands/kneels. The Sanctuary is the part of the church where the altar is, where the Priest offers Mass.

As people have already answered, we genuflect out of respect to Christ and His presence there in the Sanctuary. You may do so, just think, what you would do if the Queen of England was standing there…shouldn’t God get even more reverence?

One genuflects towards the tabernacle because as Catholics we believe in the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist. If the tabernacle is not in the sanctuary then one just bows to the altar as that is where the sacrifice of the Mass takes place.

 

[JReducation]

That’s not exactly true. A Franciscan priest is an ordained friar but he still should be called “Father”.

The proper title for all Franciscan men is either Friar or Brother. However, in many countries, people call everyone Father.

In the USA and Canada, the different Franciscan obediences and provinces have their own protocol. You should always follow their lead. This is not only true for the Franciscans, but also for the Benedictines, Cistercians and Trappists. The different abbeys have different rules.

The issue is that the Benedictine and Franciscan families are not religious orders for priests. These families were founded as fraternities for the sole purpose of prayer, penance, work, service and brotherhood. They were not founded to hear confessions, celebrate the sacraments, etc. They have always had priests, from the beginning. Their ministry was always sacramental, but their life has always been that of a religious brother.

We’re trying to correct this around the world. In many provinces the term Father has been wiped out and everyone is either Friar or Brother. In some provinces it’s coming along, but not there yet. It’s interesting, because the laity is more resistant to calling an ordained religious Brother or Friar, than the religious are in referring to themselves as such.

The proper name for the families are:

Franciscan Friars

Benedictine Monks

Cistercian Monks

Trappist Monks

Franciscan Father or Benedictine Fathers is totally incorrect. There are no such creatures in God’s creation.

A Franciscan or Bendictine can be a priest. That’s a horse of a different color. The error crept in as other religious orders for priests grew up around the Benedictine and Franciscan families, such as the Dominicans and Jesuits. People began to refer to Franciscans and Benedictine as Father.

The same mistake was made with secular priests. Diocesan priests were always Mister until the late 1800s. In Spanish and Italian they were Don, such as Don Giovanni Bosco. In French they were Monsieur, such as Monsieur Vincent de Paul and MonsieurJean Marie Vianney.

There is a movement among Benedictines (including the Cistercians and Camaldolese) and the Franciscan family to return to the original title, Friar or Brother.

Friar is just a bad translation of Frater, which means, Brother. I’m not sure how we went from Frater to Friar. If you read the rules of St.Benedict and St. Francis, they say Fratres.

So . . . when you meet a Franciscan, of any of the branches and you’re not sure if he’s a priest or not, just call him Friar or Brother. We take to Brother or Friar better than being asked, “Are you a priest?” We find that to be very annoying and almost condescending toward the friars and monks who are not priests. Very often people are condescending to them, as if they were half-baked priests.

When in doubt, go with Friar or Brother and use his first name, if you know it. Family names are only used in the USA and in those countries that require you to use them. But they’re used for secular purposes. You never hear anyone call Fr. Mark at EWTN Fr. Cristina (his family name). He’s Fr. Mark Mary or Friar Mark Mary. No one will get offended with Brother or Friar.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[Brendan]

Thank you, Brother, as always .

Friar is just a bad translation of Frater, which means, Brother. I’m not sure how we went from Frater to Friar. )

I believe it was a English transliteration of the French Frère;, the pronunciation of both are very similar.

 

[dochawk]

1. Should I say “Your Father, bless” if I am not Catholic? If yes, do I kneel while crossing my palms? What if there are other people there as well (is it considered impolite to ask for a blessing?)

Respectly, this is incorrect.

“Father, Bless” and kissing his conse rated hand is the “correct” way to greet an Eastern priest, Catholic or Orthodox.

I have never, though, heard of such a greeting for a western priest (nor of kissing his hand).

One genuflects towards the tabernacle because as Catholics we believe in the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist. If the tabernacle is not in the sanctuary then one just bows to the altar as that is where the sacrifice of the Mass takes place.

I was tickled pink when, explaining my habit of crossing myself when passing a Catholic or Orthodox church (reverence for the Actual Presence), one of my daughters asked whether to omit this on Good Friday . . .

(I also have a niece who responded to the Easter homily with a tug and a, “Daddy! that’s like Aslan!”)

Hawk

 

[JReducation]

Respectly, this is incorrect.

“Father, Bless” and kissing his conse rated hand is the “correct” way to greet an Eastern priest, Catholic or Orthodox.

I have never, though, heard of such a greeting for a western priest (nor of kissing his hand).

I was tickled pink when, explaining my habit of crossing myself when passing a Catholic or Orthodox church (reverence for the Actual Presence), one of my daughters asked whether to omit this on Good Friday . . .

(I also have a niece who responded to the Easter homily with a tug and a, “Daddy! that’s like Aslan!”)

Hawk

What’s Aslan?

You can tell that I’m old, can’t you?

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[choliks]

What’s Aslan?

You can tell that I’m old, can’t you?

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

If i’m not mistaken dear Brother, Aslan is the great Lion, the central character in the C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia symbolizing God.