Etiquette of Mass for a Non-Catholic

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Divyamaya

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I hope this is the right place to post.

I am not a Catholic, but I wish to attend mass. I have never attended mass, and I am fearful of breaking certain codes of etiquette. Is it imperative that I wear a skirt, and a veil? I know that I will not receive communion, but are there any other particular things that I should or should not do?

Also, due to a back injury I cannot stand for more than a minute or two. Would this constitute a problem in attending? I do not want to stick out than I naturally would. Are there situations where if I feel I must sit or stay seated where it will be offensive?

I do not wish to attend merely out of curiosity. My grandmother was Maronite, and my grandfather as a Muslim did not allow much of it to be taught in my mother’s household. I do know that my mother identified with Christianity more, but no one in my family attended mass. I was lucky enough to find a Maronite church in my city, and I feel very strongly that I need to visit and experience this.
 
It isn’t imperative that you wear a skirt, but you won’t look bad if you do. Personal preference. The same for the veil - it is no longer required that you have one, but if you wish to wear one, more power to you. Do, however, dress reasonably nicely - we don’t ask that you break out an evening gown, but not wearing an old T-shirt and soiled, torn jeans would be great.

Sitting because of a back injury isn’t a problem. There are many people in my parish who sit when the ordinary posture is standing for physical reasons. Nobody is going to hold you accountable for that, and if they ask, simply tell them the truth: you have an injury to your back and cannot stand for long periods of time. End of story, and it should placate anybody who asks.

Really, the only “code of etiquette” you can break is to be disrespectful, be it by not respecting the Church’s wishes(e.g. on receiving Communion) or by talking during Mass.

And that’s great you want to experience more of your family’s religious heritage. I think it will be a great experience, even if all you get out of it is a bit more insight into the religious landscape of your family.
 
Thank you very much!

So it should be alright if I walk in and sit down near the back?
 
Feel free to sit somewhere in the back if you like so that you can see what is going on. Don’t be put off if the people around you prefer to stay silent before and after the mass; it’s one of the pecularities of Catholic and some other “high church” types that silent reverence is to be kept in the sanctuary. As the previous poster said, don’t be bothered about being unable to stand; you won’t be the only one. I would like to add though, that if you do feel up to it, the part of the mass that I would recommend standing for is the reading of the Gospel, both for theological and practical reasons, but again, no one will be bothered if you can’t. Also, if you see missalettes or misaals in the hymnal racks of the pews, they will help you get aquainted with the order of the mass and what is said.
 
Divyamaya said:
I hope this is the right place to post.

I am not a Catholic, but I wish to attend mass. I have never attended mass, and I am fearful of breaking certain codes of etiquette. Is it imperative that I wear a skirt, and a veil? I know that I will not receive communion, but are there any other particular things that I should or should not do?

Also, due to a back injury I cannot stand for more than a minute or two. Would this constitute a problem in attending? I do not want to stick out than I naturally would. Are there situations where if I feel I must sit or stay seated where it will be offensive?
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  1. Dress modestly for wherever you happen to be.
  2. in most parishes, even in those Eastern Catholic Churches that nominally avoid pews, those who cannot stand usually sit or kneel. Some few will be offended. Some of them may be vocal about it. Ignore their outburst, and pray for them.
2a) If you happen to hit an Eastern Rite parish without seating, asking the ushers will usually result in a chair being brought for you to use.
  1. If you are comfortable with saying the people’s responses nd prayers prior to the Eucharistic portion, please do.
  2. Follow along in the pewbook if you are comfortable doing so. Ask the Ushers (in a Latin Rite parish) or the Cantors (in an Eastern Rite parish) for a brief overview of the pewbook if you need one. (In my home parish, the head cantor often suggests that visitors sit near me, so I can show them where we are at in my copy.)
  3. During the Distribution of Communion, be prepared to exit the pew, and return to it immediately, so that everyone else in the pew doesn’t have to climb over you. Properly, one should stay in one’s place if not receiving, babes in arms excepted. (Tho’ in the Byzantine Rite, infants are often communed.)
You mentioned that you are attending a Maronite Mass. The Maronites are one of the 23 Churches that comprise the Catholic Church. Except for the pope, they have a separate hierarchy from the rest of the Catholics (each of the 23 Churches does). Their Liturgy is different from the Roman Mass, and is properly called the Quorbono, but Maronites themselves often use the term Mass for the Quorbono when speaking in English.

Maronite Masses can be in English, Arabic, Aramic, or a mixture, and ISTR reading that a Mexican-Spanish translation was being worked on. Depending upon where you are, and the local population, the language choice may vary.

If local modesty (or your own) includes a veil, do so; if not, don’t.

There are a large number of different consecrations used in the Quorbono; if you are using a pewbook, ask to make certain you have the right one and/or have marked the correct pages for the one being used.

Incense may be used.
 
Hello, Divyamaya, and welcome!

One thing has been hinted at but not directly addressed. I think people are assuming that you already know this. In case you don’t, remember not to receive the Eucharist, AKA “taking communion.” You must be catechized and have your first Confession before receiving.

I hope you enjoy your first Mass, and are drawn to enter the Church!

God bless you,

Ruthie
 
I guess I dont’ understand why it isn’t a personal decision whether or not to take communion as long as the non catholic has been baptized and confirmed, isn’t this a personal choice? The song says Gentile or Jew, Servant or Free, Woman or Man??? Seems hypocrytical to say that non-catholics are not welcome to take the eucharist. I ask myself if Jesus would have turned someone away who truly wanted to receive him?
 
judianderson said:
I guess I dont’ understand why it isn’t a personal decision whether or not to take communion as long as the non catholic has been baptized and confirmed, isn’t this a personal choice? The song says Gentile or Jew, Servant or Free, Woman or Man??? Seems hypocrytical to say that non-catholics are not welcome to take the eucharist. I ask myself if Jesus would have turned someone away who truly wanted to receive him?
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No, it is not a personal decision.

If you are unworthy to receive, and knowingly do so, it is a mortal sin.

Further, the reception of communion is a sign of unity to the teachings of the church. For the Byzantines, the prayer before communion is excellent instruction, so I will quote it:

O Lord, I believe and profess that you are truly Christ, the Son of the living God, who came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the first.

Accept me today as a partaker of your mystical supper, O Son of God, for I will not reveal your mystery to your enemies, nor will I give you a kiss as did Judas, but like the thief I profess you:
Remember me, O Lord, when you come in your kingdom.
Remember me, O Master, when you come in your kingdom.
Remember me, O Holy One, when you come in your kingdom.

May the partaking of your holy mysteries, O Lord, be not for my judgment or condemnation but for the healing of soul and body.

O Lord, I also believe and profess that this, which I am about to receive, is truly your most precious body and your life-giving blood, which, I pray, make me worthy to receive for the remission of all my sins and for life everlasting. Amen.

O God, be merciful to me, a sinner.
O God, cleanse me of my sins and have mercy on me.
O Lord, forgive me for I have sinned without number.
Ruthenian Usage of the DL of St. John.

We permit the Orthodox to receive; their generally do not reciprocate, but some Orthodox parishes and priests do; a few EO churches have reciprocation agreements in place.

The Church has, since the earliest days, barred all the sacraments to those who were heretics. It is still the same now.
 
I appreciate your prompt response.

I ave been a Catholic for 50 years. I understand the reason why the Catholic religion has requested that non-catholics not receive communion in the Catholic church is because of the difference in teachings regarding whether the host and wine are transformed into the true body and blood or whether it just represents them. Regardless of what any church teaches, belief is a personal thing. I cannot say what one person believes. It cannot be assumed just because one was born into one religion or another.
I do, however, have a problem with the choice of words used to described protestants. You use the words “unworthy” and “heretic”. Who am I to judge another or determine that one group of people is more worthy?? These are frightening words.

Protestants are godly people just as Catholics who walk in the footsteps of Christ. I admire many protestants in the strength of their faith. :confused: Does the Catholic Church think that only non-heretic catholics will be saved?
 
Regardless of what any church teaches, belief is a personal thing.
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We are the body of Christ. Belief may be a personal thing, but it is also a community thing.
I cannot say what one person believes. It cannot be assumed just because one was born into one religion or another.
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You can make a fairly accurate assumption about what one believes by knowing what religion he or she professes.
I do, however, have a problem with the choice of words used to described protestants. You use the words “unworthy” and “heretic”.
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Eh, heretic is a bit dicey. It is a theological judgement, not so much a moral one. Protestants may be material heretics rather than formal heretics, or they may be schismatics, it’s all a matter of semantics. 😉 They are, however, unworthy to recive the Eucharist, however un-PC that may sound. Many Catholics are also unworthy, but even St. Paul cautions against recieving unworthily; it isn’t a new invention.
Who am I to judge another or determine that one group of people is more worthy?? These are frightening words.
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No one is asking you to judge; that is God’s job and He left the Church to guide us.
Protestants are godly people just as Catholics who walk in the footsteps of Christ.
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Some are; some aren’t. There are godly and ungodly Catholics too.
I admire many protestants in the strength of their faith. Does the Catholic Church think that only non-heretic catholics will be saved?
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Your use of the phrase “saved” puzzles me a bit. It isn’t really a Catholic expression. Perhaps you could elaborate a bit on your question…
 
When I say saved, I mean join my Holy Father in heaven. Does the Catholic religion profess that only Catholics will go to heaven? Maybe I am putting too much into this. I am confused by the word “Heretic.”
 
The Catholic Church says that the Father is merciful; we don’t really have any hard and fast rules about who will and will not be in heaven because to have those would be to presume on another’s salvation. We do hold that Protestants may see heaven if they have been bound on earth by invincible ignorance, that is, ignorance of the Catholic Church through no fault of their own. Honestly, the Catholic Church finds it better to refrain from speculating on others’ salvation when at all possible.

The word “heretic” has a couple of different meanings and several connotations. To most people, it conjurs up images of stakes, witches, and Torquemada doing that funny dance from Python… but I digress. New Advent can do a much better job than I of explaining it: newadvent.org/cathen/07256b.htm
 
judianderson said:
When I say saved, I mean join my Holy Father in heaven. Does the Catholic religion profess that only Catholics will go to heaven?
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Yes. It does. Well, under current interpretations of the teachings involved, the Orthodox are fairly certain to be saved, and are still considered part of the church.
judianderson said:
Maybe I am putting too much into this. I am confused by the word “Heretic.”
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Heretic: one who believes and/or teaches error in dogma, and/or teaches error in doctrine. Almost every protestant either does not believe in one or more dogmas, or actively believes errors in Doctrine… and most protestant churches actively teach errors in doctrine.

A Manifest Heretic is someone who “should know better but doesn’t” and having been taught truth, rejects it for error.

A Material Heretic is one who has been taught error, and knows no better, and believes the errors because they truly do not know better.

Schismatics are those who have severed their ties from the church. While it is possible to be schismatic without heresy, almost every schism has had heresy involved. Pretty much only the Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox and Assyrian Church of the East fall into the “schism without heresy” category.

Manifest Schismatics are those who left union themselves, either as individuals or as part of a group.
Material Schismatics are those born into an extant schism.

Material Heretics are not likely to be held responsible for their belief being wrong, but they do believe wrongly and are thus unworthy.
 
Yes. It does.
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Ahem. Source, please? Extra ecclesium nulla salis does not have the meaning most people think it does. Apologies if that is not what you are referring to, but a source would be lovely just the same.
 
judianderson said:
I ave been a Catholic for 50 years. I understand the reason why the Catholic religion has requested that non-catholics not receive communion in the Catholic church is because of the difference in teachings regarding whether the host and wine are transformed into the true body and blood or whether it just represents them.
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While that’s true, it’s not the entire reason. Reception of Sacramental Communion requires a like communion of faith. It is dishonest for us to have a gesture of communion (in the sense of receiving) if we are not also united in our faith. And that means that we must be united in the fullness of the faith. We cannot set aside certain beliefs as unimportant just because Catholics and non-Catholics disagree on them.

Yes, Christ is calling all of us to receive Him in the Eucharist. And indeed, EVERYONE is welcome to receive Communion in the Catholic Church. However, before receiving, one must embrace the faith of the Church and membership in the Church, and be properly disposed.
 
I do not wish to attend merely out of curiosity. My grandmother was Maronite, and my grandfather as a Muslim did not allow much of it to be taught in my mother’s household. I do know that my mother identified with Christianity more, but no one in my family attended mass. I was lucky enough to find a Maronite church in my city, and I feel very strongly that I need to visit and experience this.
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Back to our regularly scheduled thread…

Divyamaya, you say you’re going to (or have gone to) a Maronite Parish? You may want to ask this question in the “Eastern Catholicism” forum, because many of us here aren’t familiar with the Eastern Liturgies (except of course, Aramis, who has been soundly ‘Ruth-enized’ 😛 )

Other than that suggestion I can say nothing but, should you decide to return to your ancestral religion, Welcome Home, Sister.
 
I must agree with what most of the posters said here and, very especially, that you DO NOT receive Holy Communion. That would be a sacrilege in my eyes.😊

But as to standing or sitting - please do not worry about that. Many people have physical disabilities that make it difficult to stand or kneel for long periods of time, me included.

As someone else has said – if you can make the effort, try to stand during the Gospel.

I hope that you find attending Mass an uplifting and spiritual experience.

:grouphug:
 
Fr David: thank you for your explanation. It just seems like we as Catholics put ourselves “above” others. This was especially apparent while I was growing up in the church and many protestants were offended. I have a problem with this as well. I don’t believe that I am any better than any other Christian or have any right to judge others. We all believe what we have been taught and raised with. What I think is most important is that we worship, regardless of what church one is a member. Several prayers ask for all Gods people to worship as one. Will this every happen if we put up walls between ourselves?
I appreciate your explanation and God bless you!
 
As the title asks - Im not a catholic, but I been led to, and affirmed for myself, the need to join the Catholic Church.

I hope to start in RCIA sometime in the near future.

I would also like to start attending mass as often as I possibly can.

Are there things I can and cannot do and what are they. I know I cant receive the Body and Blood of Christ, as Im not a part of the church, but are there other things I must not do.

I dont want to cause offence to anyone, and I dont want to embarrass myself either 😊
 
I should have read the forum before posting my question :rolleyes:

I just found a thread that answers my concerns 👍
 
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