Etiquettes. Any good book

[JLoid]

My wife and I are from very different backgrounds. As a result we’re not too sure how to act at home on a very general level. And it has been affecting our marriage. I just hoping anyone could suggest some book or site, anything really, about some basic do’s and don’ts that run in the home.

I’d very grateful for any suggestions.

Thanks.

 

[Havard]

The Emily Post Institute has many good publications, such as Emily Post’s Etiquette. Their website, emilypost.com/etipedia also offers free information.

I will say though, OP, when you say you’re not sure how to act at home, do you mean when it’s just the two of you? There are books that are more on point for bettering communication and understanding customs for mixed culture marriages.

 

[detoutcoeur]

My wife and I are from very different backgrounds. As a result we’re not too sure how to act at home on a very general level. And it has been affecting our marriage. I just hoping anyone could suggest some book or site, anything really, about some basic do’s and don’ts that run in the home.

I’d very grateful for any suggestions.

Thanks.

I like the “Miss Manners” books by Judith Martin because of her simple, practical, and creative solutions to etiquette. For example:

wdtprs.com/blog/2008/03/miss-manners-a-priest-walks-into-a-bank-%E2%80%A6/

From her weekly newspaper column:
washingtonpost.com/miss_manners/2010/07/06/AB97r7D_linkset.html

Her website is** missmanners.com/ and Google Translate is available.
Go to In Print to see her books.
**

 

[St_Francis]

I like the “Miss Manners” books by Judith Martin because of her simple, practical, and creative solutions to etiquette. For example:

wdtprs.com/blog/2008/03/miss-manners-a-priest-walks-into-a-bank-%E2%80%A6/

From her weekly newspaper column:
washingtonpost.com/miss_manners/2010/07/06/AB97r7D_linkset.html

Her website is** missmanners.com/** and Google Translate is available.
Go to In Print to see her books**.
**

I too was going to suggest Miss Manners Your library may have a copy or they should be able to get it for you via interlibrary loan. I like those etiquette books because they are funny and you just pick them up to read, as opposed to the textbook-like flavor of the others.

 

[JLoid]

Thank you all for the suggestions. I can start with these suggestions.

I will say though, OP, when you say you’re not sure how to act at home, do you mean when it’s just the two of you?

Not only when it’s both of us. With the kids and when guests are around.
Basically my wife grew up as a tomboy kind of person due to circumstances just beyond her control. She knows this and we’ve communicated openly and she’s open to getting rid of those traits.

So they’re little things that pop up in different situations.

I just don’t want to hurt her feelings whislt we’re going through the changes.

I’m grateful to you all.

 

[AnnArbor]

Thank you all for the suggestions. I can start with these suggestions.

Not only when it’s both of us. With the kids and when guests are around.
Basically my wife grew up as a tomboy kind of person due to circumstances just beyond her control. She knows this and we’ve communicated openly and she’s open to getting rid of those traits.

So they’re little things that pop up in different situations.

I just don’t want to hurt her feelings whislt we’re going through the changes.

I’m grateful to you all.

Tomboy traits are not necessarily bad manners.

 

[pensmama87]

Tomboy traits are not necessarily bad manners.

That’s what I was thinking. In general, unless a society has really, really different roles for the sexes, everyday etiquette is going to look pretty similar for men and women.

It could be an issue that something the OP’s wife is doing is interpreted badly because it doesn’t fit into expectations of “appropriate feminine behavior,” even though it would be perfectly fine if a man engaged in it. (The example that comes to mind is the woman who sticks up for herself only to be called a you-know-what).

 

[St_Francis]

It seems that the OP doesn’t want to go into detail about this issue and just wants to paint a general sort of picture. Do we really need to know in order to give a good answer to his request for etiquette book recommendations?

 

[JLoid]

It seems that the OP doesn’t want to go into detail about this issue and just wants to paint a general sort of picture.

Exactly my point. Though not too obvious but, we’re on a different continent all together. So I’ll make do with general expectations.

The suggested links are great for a starter. Please pray for me as I’m walking on water here.

 

[Potter]

John Bridges has a series of ‘Gentlemanners’ books, mostly for men but with some for women, too; titles include How to be a Gentleman, What Every Young Lady Should Know, and A Gentleman Entertains.

 

[AnnArbor]

Exactly my point. Though not too obvious but, we’re on a different continent all together. So I’ll make do with general expectations.

The suggested links are great for a starter. Please pray for me as I’m walking on water here.

Then I would second the recommendation for Judith Martin’s (Miss Manners) book. She does a great job of presenting realistic and practical etiquette in a dry and funny manner. Very readable.