Eucharist issues

[Revert2Christ]

Hello,

today I went to Mass with my grandmother and I was really happy that she agreed to come with me, because my family consists of lapsed Catholics and agnostics/atheists.
The problem is, she did not go to confession for a very long time (the last time she confessed was years before I was born), because she had a very bad experience with a priest who refused to give her absolution. He told her that he would only absolve her if she becomes pregnant with another child.

I thought that she would refrain from communion, but unfortunately, she did not.
Should I tell my grandmother not to receive the Eucharist, or is this just a thing between her and God? Did I commit a sin by not telling her to refrain from Communion?

I have to add that I would love to go with her to Mass more often, because she is the only person who agrees to join me. Despite the fact that she did not confess for a long time, she is very religious and prays every day. I am just afraid of insulting her.

 

[prstoessel]

I would make the suggestion for her to see a priest for spiritual direction and leave it at that.

Hello,

today I went to Mass with my grandmother and I was really happy that she agreed to come with me, because my family consists of lapsed Catholics and agnostics/atheists.
The problem is, she did not go to confession for a very long time (the last time she confessed was years before I was born), because she had a very bad experience with a priest who refused to give her absolution. He told her that he would only absolve her if she becomes pregnant with another child.

I thought that she would refrain from communion, but unfortunately, she did not.
Should I tell my grandmother not to receive the Eucharist, or is this just a thing between her and God? Did I commit a sin by not telling her to refrain from Communion?

I have to add that I would love to go with her to Mass more often, because she is the only person who agrees to join me. Despite the fact that she did not confess for a long time, she is very religious and prays every day. I am just afraid of insulting her.

I think you should tell her - in a loving way, of course, but tell her. Especially if you want her to come back to church with you. You can say something like, “Grandma, you might think it’s none of my business, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that you should really go to confession before you receive our Lord in the Eucharist. I love you and I feel like it is my duty to remind you”.

Who knows - maybe she’ll go to confession!

 

[NonNobisDomine]

I think this is a very delicate issue.

If it was me, I wouldn’t say anything. The state of her soul is an internal forum matter and going to confession is between her and God. From my perspective, to tell someone to go to confession because they havent been in a long time is to go against the commandment of the Lord not to judge others.

Jarrod

 

[brb3]

I thought that she would refrain from communion, but unfortunately, she did not.
Should I tell my grandmother not to receive the Eucharist, or is this just a thing between her and God? Did I commit a sin by not telling her to refrain from Communion?

I have to add that I would love to go with her to Mass more often, because she is the only person who agrees to join me. Despite the fact that she did not confess for a long time, she is very religious and prays every day.

QUOTE]

Appears she has made a ‘private’ confession of sorts to you on the matter of not going before priest in many moons. Perhaps you could invite her to go with you, next time you make confession. I know of some confessionals with wide kneeling benches … where two could kneel. The priest is behind screen and would not be aware she was kneeling beside you.

Now, make your annual confession, before the upcoming Easter season. She will hear the priest deal with your matters before God. She will also hear him absolving you and instructing you in proper penance. Hopefully she will find this priest very understanding, caring, & wise … and thereafter, might soon be strengthened by God to make her own ‘private’ confession to this priest.

Who knows … she might even desire you to accompany her, to give her courage … when she makes long overdue confession.

 

[regression]

Appears she has made a ‘private’ confession of sorts to you on the matter of not going before priest in many moons. Perhaps you could invite her to go with you, next time you make confession. I know of some confessionals with wide kneeling benches … where two could kneel. The priest is behind screen and would not be aware she was kneeling beside you.

Now, make your annual confession, before the upcoming Easter season. She will hear the priest deal with your matters before God. She will also hear him absolving you and instructing you in proper penance. Hopefully she will find this priest very understanding, caring, & wise … and thereafter, might soon be strengthened by God to make her own ‘private’ confession to this priest.

Who knows … she might even desire you to accompany her, to give her courage … when she makes long overdue confession.

I would take issue with this. I don’t think it is appropriate to sneak someone into the confessional with you.

If I were the OP, I would tell my grandmother I am going to confession and would she like to come. If she says yes, then each could go (but not at the same time).

Above all, pray that the OP’s grandmother can fully return to the church. I will keep her in my prayers.

 

[brb3]

I would take issue with this. I don’t think it is appropriate to sneak someone into the confessional with you.

Is it against Church rules for two to go before the priest ?

Do husband/wife ever do joint confessions ?

Would a priest care if a child or spouse accompanied the other to confession. Afterall, as long as the confessor has given consent for his/her confession to be heard by another … why would the priest see need to view matter as of breaking of confidentiality ?

 

[regression]

Is it against Church rules for two to go before the priest ?

Do husband/wife ever do joint confessions ?

Would a priest care if a child or spouse accompanied the other to confession. Afterall, as long as the confessor has given consent for his/her confession to be heard by another … why would the priest see need to view matter as of breaking of confidentiality ?

I don’t know if there is a “church rule” on the subject or not. But common sense would tell me that since most confessions are with a priest and penitent, doing something other than that I would want to talk to the priest first.

 

[BusterMartin]

I had a similar situation where a friend or 2 have told me that they know they are in a state of mortal sin because of doing X, Y, or Z, but won’t go to Confession. They still feel it is all right to receive Communion, despite the sacrilege. I informed the persons of the seriousness of the situation and why they should not receive, but they state they don’t care.

I asked a local priest (one who tends to stick to the rules) and he suggested that I should just go over the seriousness of the issue one time, and as long as I do that, it is between them and God what they do. They have the information, bu they also have free will. I also asked if I should still go to Mass with those persons, and the priest said yes. So, that’s the route I took.

I would say that you should mention this to her, but be careful how you do it. If you are 100% certain she is in a state of mortal sin (and by this I mean she told you she is because she knows she is), then be blunt with her and tell her, lovingly, that she should not receive Communion without first receiving the sacrament of Confession. After that, drop it and let her make up her own mind. If you aren’t 100% sure about if she is in mortal sin, then still mention your concern to her but do it tactfully instead of bluntly…but still with love. Even after that, it is up to her, ultimately.