I know that the reason the priest does not want me to be an Extraordinary minister of the Eucharist is that I am struggling emotionally with issues re to being sexually molested by a priest at age 17. Although the priest does not think I am ready to be an Extraordinary minister of the Eucharist, my heart has been ready for a very long time since I renewed my Catholic faith at the altar at a special mass. When I did this, I dedicated my heart to serving the Catholic faith. I go to mass as often as possible during the week and on the weekends I go to at least two out of four masses. I sing at mass and at every funeral. I watch mass on ETWN every day, read Catholic literature, and listen to Catholic programs. It does not matter how many times I listen to the homily on the weekends, because everytime I listen to it the scriptures touch my heart profoundly. I still get periods of depression from what happened to me and when I am around the priests, especially when they wear the black clerical outfit with the collar I feel very anxious and uncomfortable because the priest who abused me wore that outfit. I also look up to these men who have dedicated their lives to serving Christ with admiration and I want to be serving Christ in as many ways as I can. I want to nourish people with Him by giving them the Eucharist, especially if they are sick because it is the most beautiful gift one can give another person. Also I believe that giving of one’s self in service of the Lord is very important as we receive the Eucharist and are called to be the Hands and Feet of Jesus. I understand the priest’s concerns about me being a Eucharistic minister, but I don’t think he understands how much it hurts me profoundly to feel in my heart that this is what the Lord wants me to do, to be as close to the Lord as possible by serving at the altar, and to be able to give the precious gift of Jesus to others. I understand that one can’t do everything in the church. My vocation is a Registered Nurse and I serve the sick, nourishing their physical, emotional, and at times their spiritual needs. I give medication to the sick. I see the Eucharist as being a spiritual medication to people because it fills them with Jesus. I really believe just as I tend to the sick, I am also called to nourish people with the gift of Jesus. I know that I am not worthy of this task, but I do know that my heart longs to do this and I am sure that this longing comes from the Holy Spirit who lives within us. I respect the priest who does not think I am ready to be an Extraordinary minister of the Eucharist, but I want to know what qualities that I need to be ready to do this when the priest thinks I am ready. What do I have to do to improve myself? I have read the books about being an Extraordinary minister of the Eucharist and have answered all the questions. I know that I don’t have every quality on the list, but I don’t think everyone does or will have every quality. The priest who does not think I am ready is a very upstanding man whom I respect and think highly of, but I wish he would give me clear cut information of what he is looking for in an Extraordinary minister of the Eucharist, so I know why he won’t choose me and I can work on some goals to grow spiritually if that is what it takes. It really hurts to not know what to do or what is expected of me.