Eulogy

[aspawloski4th]

I just buried and had a funeral Mass for my mitherinlaw today. There was no euology allowed at Mass. I was told eulogies take away focus from where it should be. it was based on something a bishop in New jersy proclamed. Im a bit dissapointed in that.
first Id accept that if it came from the vatican. I live in grand rapids michigan, what up with taking orders from a bishop many miles away? I always liked a euology because it tell about the person who the funeral Mass, too the people at the Mass who dont know the deceased as well as the close loved ones. At this Mass today there were many who didnt know her well, they were there in support of us who did! Im not sugesting a freeforall at the pulpit, but I think a couple of planned out eulogies by loved ones for the deceased is not anything near out of line.

 

[lacoloratura]

I used to work in a parish where the priest allowed a family member to speak about the deceased, but only at the very end (after Communion, but before the final censing of the casket). This seemed fitting to me - didn’t seem to distract from the focus of the Mass, but allowed people a connection with the deceased person.

 

[Kielbasi]

Eulogies are traditionally not part of a Catholic funeral. In current years, that practice has definitely changed and many parishes now allow them. The decision of the pastor not to allow it in the funeral of your mother in law might have been justified on the basis of a statement by a NJ bishop, but the idea of “no eulogies” wasn’t invented in New Jersey.

 

[Deacon_Tony560]

Our pastor still feels bad for the families and allows comments after Communion. However, Kielbasi is right. The eulogy belongs at the wake. When I do a Rosary/Wake Service, I aways tell the family that the wake is the place for talking about the loved one. It will take some education. The Irish had a way with wake services. In the old days, the wake was held in the living room of the person’s home. Folks could come and tell stories and relate memories. The Mass is the formal rite of the church. Wakes can be very informal.

Deacon Tony

 

[Marie]

Deacon Tony560:

Our pastor still feels bad for the families and allows comments after Communion. However, Kielbasi is right. The eulogy belongs at the wake. When I do a Rosary/Wake Service, I aways tell the family that the wake is the place for talking about the loved one. It will take some education. The Irish had a way with wake services. In the old days, the wake was held in the living room of the person’s home. Folks could come and tell stories and relate memories. The Mass is the formal rite of the church. Wakes can be very informal.

Deacon Tony

Amen! The wake has always been the place and time for sharing…the Mass is the time for God’s Glory to shine and His mercy to be made maifest.

My Dad, who was Irish to the hilt, loved the good old Irish wake. He always said it was a shame the deceased could not share the joy of those wonderful moments.

When he was diagnosed as Terminal, he decided to hold his own wake on St. Pat’s day. Dad was sick as could be, but in the Irish spirit, had the mortician bring his casket to the house. Dad had all the family and friends invited and made it a wonderful celebration of life for all. He laid in the casket with oxegen and all the paraphenalia he had come to live with, in the last few months of his life. Yet, he managed to smile and laugh and share his love of God and life with one and all.

Da made a special point of the fact, that death is not the end of the story. He gently showed us all, that Christ was holding the heavier part of the cross, and Dad was ever so grateful to have time to give each one in his life, a smile, a salute and courage to say…“God has been so very good to me!”

 

[jolean]

I’ve given way too many eulogies in my life, with most of them from the pulpit. The last eulogy I delivered–that of my brother-in-law–I did at the funeral home, and it was fine. But…funeral homes need to be ready for such occurrences, with a podium and, if necessary, a sound system.

While I see nothing wrong personally with a eulogy at Mass, I also see the eulogy having less impact when delivered at the funeral home.

 

[katolik]

In the Polish tradition, you just lay out the dead body on your living room table and place six candles around it. People pray the Rosary around it and cry and sob and wear black. Simple and good!

Marie:

Amen! The wake has always been the place and time for sharing…the Mass is the time for God’s Glory to shine and His mercy to be made maifest.

My Dad, who was Irish to the hilt, loved the good old Irish wake. He always said it was a shame the deceased could not share the joy of those wonderful moments.

When he was diagnosed as Terminal, he decided to hold his own wake on St. Pat’s day. Dad was sick as could be, but in the Irish spirit, had the mortician bring his casket to the house. Dad had all the family and friends invited and made it a wonderful celebration of life for all. He laid in the casket with oxegen and all the paraphenalia he had come to live with, in the last few months of his life. Yet, he managed to smile and laugh and share his love of God and life with one and all.

Da made a special point of the fact, that death is not the end of the story. He gently showed us all, that Christ was holding the heavier part of the cross, and Dad was ever so grateful to have time to give each one in his life, a smile, a salute and courage to say…“God has been so very good to me!”