Evangelical in-laws trying to kill us, need advice

[redrosetea]

I have heard of families not even speaking to their children becaue they turned Catholic

Just hang in there…It might mean you have to limit your visits for a while

I heard Steve Ray a convert, and a regular on EWTN and Ave Maria radio say, his famil,y and his wife’s family wouldn’t even speak to them for a year

Remember Christ said in the beatitudes you are blessed when persecuted for His sake

 

[elts1956]

Thank you for all of the links!

I actually think we’re okay on trying to defend our faith. We’re new, definitely, but we’re both huge readers and did a lot of research before we even started going to Mass, so we’re actually not doing too bad with this, and I probably have at least 50 resources bookmarked, and I’ve read every single tract at this site and so much of the library as a whole.

It’s more the fact that we feel like we’re talking to a wall, and they’re really illogical and they ask the same questions over and over again, because they think we haven’t answered them, even though we (just.spent.two.hours.talking.about.it.) did.

When I said that they don’t accept anything outside of Scripture historically, I meant they don’t accept anything at all, not even what Protestants accept as a rule. I’m not talking about not accepting Tradition (I understand that as I come from the same background), but I’m talking that they won’t accept other historical documents…nothing, not even Bible commentaries (and even though they’ll read the footnotes, they don’t accept them either). And beyond that, they won’t allow us to give them print-outs, or send emails or give them websites or books to read or anything that could possibly help us explain, in any way shape or form. It must be from our own mouths directly or it doesn’t “count”.

Sounds as though some very firm boundaries need to be enforced by you and your husband. ie. “Mom and Dad, we love you and want to visit, but discussion of Religion isn’t one of the topics we want to discuss. If you can honor that, we will come visit. If not, we will just have to stay away.” Sounds tough, I know, but there are times when “tough love” must be used.

 

[Randy_Carson]

Thank you for all of the links!

I actually think we’re okay on trying to defend our faith. We’re new, definitely, but we’re both huge readers and did a lot of research before we even started going to Mass, so we’re actually not doing too bad with this, and I probably have at least 50 resources bookmarked, and I’ve read every single tract at this site and so much of the library as a whole.

It’s more the fact that we feel like we’re talking to a wall, and they’re really illogical and they ask the same questions over and over again, because they think we haven’t answered them, even though we (just.spent.two.hours.talking.about.it.) did.

When I said that they don’t accept anything outside of Scripture historically, I meant they don’t accept anything at all, not even what Protestants accept as a rule. I’m not talking about not accepting Tradition (I understand that as I come from the same background), but I’m talking that they won’t accept other historical documents…nothing, not even Bible commentaries (and even though they’ll read the footnotes, they don’t accept them either). And beyond that, they won’t allow us to give them print-outs, or send emails or give them websites or books to read or anything that could possibly help us explain, in any way shape or form. It must be from our own mouths directly or it doesn’t “count”.

Okay, if they are that closed to learning anything new, then you must hammer away at one point and one point only:

Answering the Question, “Where is that in the Bible?”

The Evangelical starts with the assumption that scripture existed first and that tradition was slowly and incrementally added to it as time progressed. However, the original deposit of faith was given to the Apostles years before Scripture was ever penned. The Church was founded on this truth from Christ. Some of this deposit was then written in Scripture, some was scrupulously passed from bishop to bishop as oral tradition, and some was later clarified as dogma by the agreement of the bishops in the councils of the Church.

These sources, of course, should be expected not to contradict each other. If the Church teaches something as true, it is justifiable to check that it is not contradicted by Scripture. But if the Church teaches something and the Bible is silent or ambiguous, that does not mean the teaching is any less truly a part of the original deposit of faith given the Apostles. The focus must shift from what is biblical to what is true. The first is always contained in the second, but all of the second is not necessarily contained in the first.

When an Evangelical asks, “Where is that doctrine in the Bible?”, the correct response is “First show me from Scripture why you believe all Christian doctrines must be in the Bible.” It can be frustrating for Evangelicals to confront this issue, but it is important for them to understand the lack of biblical basis for their question. Truth is at issue here.

Adapted from Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic by David B. Currie, pp.61-62.

 

[Seeking12]

I’m looking for some advice. My husband and I are joining the Catholic church at Easter, and we told my husband’s parents about three weeks ago. We both come from an evangelical background, and his parents are evangelicals as well. We live in the same town and we occasionally visit and have a pretty decent relationship for the most part. We’ve only been married for about a year and a half, but have been together for six years, and we’re in our mid-20s (so we’re definitely still figuring out this whole adult thing!)

They kept asking us why we wanted to worship the Pope or Priests or Mary, why we didn’t think Jesus was enough to get to Heaven, why we prayed to dead people and not God, why we thought we could buy our way into heaven and other common misunderstandings about Catholicism.

When we tried to answer, well, it was maddening, lol. For example, my FIL asked, “why do you worship a priest?” and after almost two hours explaining that we don’t, again, “but I don’t understand why you feel you need to worship a priest”. My MIL brought up the topic of Jesus having brothers, and we talked about the different views, and how this has been a debated topic, and even in the bottom of her Bible, the footnotes said the same thing. I thought it was going fantastically, until the very end when she said said something like, “well, my Bible says “brother” so it must mean he had brothers, why don’t you believe the Bible?”

They won’t accept any historical evidence that’s not spelled out in the Bible, and they’re very illogical. For example, I asked if they thought it was possible that the word “brethren/brother” could have several meanings, and they said “yes” and then I said, “well, is it possible then that it does in this case?” “No, the Bible says otherwise.” (Is there a smiley for pulls out hair?? Lol)

So, obviously even though the conversations are fairly civil, we’re getting no where. We can’t even get on the same page. And frankly, they don’t really even know the evangelical view of things very well, let alone trying to learn the Catholic…

And now they want us to come over to their house every single Sunday afternoon for Bible studies, because they’re “curious and just want to learn”, despite the fact that they already said they fear for our salvation.

Fact is, there is no way we’re doing this… lol. But, seriously, we do want to be open and be able to talk about these things, but we’re so beyond frustrated. We’ve only talked on two occasions and I’m literally exhausted. After I got home yesterday, I was physically sick (I’m not very good with being put on the spot). We’ve probably attempted to cover thousands of years of church history in less than eight hours and I simply do not have the energy to continue. We’re still very new and we’re not even Catholic yet-- I sort of feel like I want some time to process it all myself, ya know? My husband feels the same way.

Anyway… advice? We would prefer to just make this topic off-limits altogether, but I’m not sure that’s really the most Christian thing to do here. I mean, who knows? Maybe some of it will teach them. But on the other hand, they’re not really hearing us or respecting us. UGH! They’re not being cruel or disowning us or anything, but they’re definitely making this entirely too stressful.

Oh, I forgot something. They keep insisting that the only reason that we could possibly be going to the Catholic church is that think we need “ritualism” to be closer to God, and because my husband was “raised Presbyterian” (he doesn’t even remember the Presbyterian church they went to when he was small), despite the fact that we told them that we’re going because of the theological truth (i.e. church authority and Eucharist being the biggest two.) In fact, the rituals have been the hardest thing for us to adjust to, lol, so I’m so very sure that we didn’t set out seeking them! But they don’t believe us.

And I’m not sure if this is applicable, but I’ll throw it out there anyway. My husband and I have already had to set some boundaries with them in the past. We’ve been together for 6 years and before getting married, we used to go over to their home every Sunday after church, but we stopped that because it was just too much for us. Well, now we go about once a month (which personally, my husband still thinks is way too much, lol, and frankly, I only see my family once a year, so I’m inclined to agree) and I think it’s fair enough, and every single time (every.single.time.) we go over there, they lecture us about how we don’t visit them nearly enough.

Ugh. Anyone???

**Your in laws are very concerned, but may not be very articulate. As a parent myself, my greatest measure of success will be if I can give the gift given to me by the Lord, my children, and give them back to the Lord, which is not my work, but hopefully the work of God using me as an instrument to that goal. Anything less than that, then I would feel as though I was unsuccessful as a parent.

Your in laws may feel the very same way. Evangelicals teach a different gospel than the Catholic gospel; and obviously this seems to be a concern for them; probably because they care; even though it is driving you nuts. No matter which church you decide on; believe Christ can be found in the Bible and neither of these groups will discourage you from reading.**