Evangelical parents and raising Catholic children, need advice about meddling

[Blacksword]

Hello,

I’m looking for advice on what, if anything, to do about this growing problem. My parents are wonderful people in many ways, and are very committed Christians, but sadly of a long-held family tradition for us of the Baptist/Evangelical/Fundamentalist variety.

I entered the Catholic Church in 2011, very happily having been convinced of its truth claims about itself, and have never looked back. They did not react well to this, but certainly better than many in their shoes might, so I am not trying to bag on them or be overly negative, but this is a growing problem I’m seeing as my children grow older now…My oldest daughter is now 7, and is incredibly, frighteningly brilliant (she asked me at the age of 3 if “God founded the Catholic Church” so not bragging, she’s really bright), and she loves her young Catholic faith, was baptized right after I entered the Church, and loves reading Scripture and learning about things.

So the folks were here for my second daughter’s birthday, and bought a book as a gift, “The Ology” by Marty Machowski…it’s a kid’s book, but basically lays out a comprehensive theology for kids. It’s great in some respects, until it isn’t, as it becomes clear as I reviewed it that it’s written from a five point Calvinist perspective, having sections on “Irresistible Grace”, major issues with the Protestant teaching it gives on Baptism, the Eucharist, the nature of the Church as the Body of Christ, the nature of Salvation, etc. The usual issues. This is unfortunately not the first time this has occurred, as they’ve bought my daughters other books and stuff like this before that are not wholly in keeping with Catholic truth, but this book is now the most…advanced sort of material along these lines. I can see this getting worse as time goes on. So what am I to do? My daughter already loves this book, but when she starts getting to these problematic sections this is going to be confusing and maybe harmful to her spiritual development as she’s still too young to have the reasons for the errors of Protestantism to be discussed in serious depth, instead it’ll just confuse her.

Does anyone have any advise on how to deal with grandparents who seem to be trying to divert the religious upbringing I’m attempting? I wonder why they can’t find nice, good Catholic kids books instead:shrug:

Please help, thanks!

 

[adamhovey1988]

Hello,

I’m looking for advice on what, if anything, to do about this growing problem. My parents are wonderful people in many ways, and are very committed Christians, but sadly of a long-held family tradition for us of the Baptist/Evangelical/Fundamentalist variety.

I entered the Catholic Church in 2011, very happily having been convinced of its truth claims about itself, and have never looked back. They did not react well to this, but certainly better than many in their shoes might, so I am not trying to bag on them or be overly negative, but this is a growing problem I’m seeing as my children grow older now…My oldest daughter is now 7, and is incredibly, frighteningly brilliant (she asked me at the age of 3 if “God founded the Catholic Church” so not bragging, she’s really bright), and she loves her young Catholic faith, was baptized right after I entered the Church, and loves reading Scripture and learning about things.

So the folks were here for my second daughter’s birthday, and bought a book as a gift, “The Ology” by Marty Machowski…it’s a kid’s book, but basically lays out a comprehensive theology for kids. It’s great in some respects, until it isn’t, as it becomes clear as I reviewed it that it’s written from a five point Calvinist perspective, having sections on “Irresistible Grace”, major issues with the Protestant teaching it gives on Baptism, the Eucharist, the nature of the Church as the Body of Christ, the nature of Salvation, etc. The usual issues. This is unfortunately not the first time this has occurred, as they’ve bought my daughters other books and stuff like this before that are not wholly in keeping with Catholic truth, but this book is now the most…advanced sort of material along these lines. I can see this getting worse as time goes on. So what am I to do? My daughter already loves this book, but when she starts getting to these problematic sections this is going to be confusing and maybe harmful to her spiritual development as she’s still too young to have the reasons for the errors of Protestantism to be discussed in serious depth, instead it’ll just confuse her.

Does anyone have any advise on how to deal with grandparents who seem to be trying to divert the religious upbringing I’m attempting? I wonder why they can’t find nice, good Catholic kids books instead:shrug:

Please help, thanks!

You know, my Muslim friend and I get along just fine, in spite of our differing religious beliefs. My Grandma was Baptist and we found we had a lot more in common than we did differences. Kindly tell them that while you appreciate it, that you don’t think your kids should believe Christianity the same way they do.

 

[KildareBrigid]

Honestly, I wonder if they are trying to make a statement, or if they just don’t understand all of the differences and would understand why a catholic wouldn’t agree with those books. In fact, they may not have even read the book at all, they just thought it would be a nice book about Jesus. I know that before I was catholic I gave my Godson christian themed books and I never read any of them first. I just assumed they would be ok because they were cute and about Jesus.

I think that maybe the next gift giving event comes up, you could suggest a catholic line of books your daughter would like as a gift. Don’t say it in a way that is controversial, but more like “hey (child) really is loving this book series, just thought you’d like to know since her birthday is coming up.”

If they do end up gifting your daughter something you don’t agree with, I would just graciously accept and then either don’t give it to her, or use it as an example of what other christians believe and why the catholic church doesn’t believe those things.

I would hate for a wedge to continue growing between you and your parents over gifts. Ultimately us converts want to show our Protestant family and friends how our faith has made us better people, not critical people.

 

[badnewsbarrett]

Your parents wanted you to remain non-Catholic once you grew up, and even though they didn’t want you to, they had to accept your choices, including ones that involved listening to and believing the truth-claims of some other people besides them.

Turnabout is fair play. You need to accept the same possibility for your children. Apply the same logic to them, and please understand that if your child is anywhere near as brilliant as you say, strategic and intentional lack of information will be far more confusing (and a potential reason for distrusting you) than having all the information that’s available with you still being involved. Things make more sense to brilliant young minds when everything is made available to them.

I’m curious. When she asked if God founded the Catholic Church, did you give any explanation as to how Jesus could be standing in Jerusalem while establishing a Church with headquarters in Rome? And is she at all aware of the existence of Eastern Orthodoxy as of right now? If not, I suspect she may be breathing with one lung from a historical standpoint, particularly vis a vis the God and the founding and the Church.

 

[MaryT777]

Honestly, I wonder if they are trying to make a statement, or if they just don’t understand all of the differences and would understand why a catholic wouldn’t agree with those books. In fact, they may not have even read the book at all, they just thought it would be a nice book about Jesus. I know that before I was catholic I gave my Godson christian themed books and I never read any of them first. I just assumed they would be ok because they were cute and about Jesus.

I think that maybe the next gift giving event comes up, you could suggest a catholic line of books your daughter would like as a gift. Don’t say it in a way that is controversial, but more like “hey (child) really is loving this book series, just thought you’d like to know since her birthday is coming up.”

If they do end up gifting your daughter something you don’t agree with, I would just graciously accept and then either don’t give it to her, or use it as an example of what other christians believe and why the catholic church doesn’t believe those things.

I would hate for a wedge to continue growing between you and your parents over gifts. Ultimately us converts want to show our Protestant family and friends how our faith has made us better people, not critical people.

This is an excellent post with a great idea how to handle this graciously. Tell them where they can find the book or book series (at a nearby Catholic book store or online) to make it easy for them to obtain.

Mary.

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

The grandparents may not know where or how to obtain Catholic books for children. Maybe give some reading suggestions appropriate for children to the grandparents and ask them to make a selection from the “approved” list.

 

[CB_Catholic]

Your parents wanted you to remain non-Catholic once you grew up, and even though they didn’t want you to, they had to accept your choices, including ones that involved listening to and believing the truth-claims of some other people besides them.

Turnabout is fair play. You need to accept the same possibility for your children. Apply the same logic to them, and please understand that if your child is anywhere near as brilliant as you say, strategic and intentional lack of information will be far more confusing (and a potential reason for distrusting you) than having all the information that’s available with you still being involved. Things make more sense to brilliant young minds when everything is made available to them.

I’m curious. When she asked if God founded the Catholic Church, did you give any explanation as to how Jesus could be standing in Jerusalem while establishing a Church with headquarters in Rome? And is she at all aware of the existence of Eastern Orthodoxy as of right now? If not, I suspect she may be breathing with one lung from a historical standpoint, particularly vis a vis the God and the founding and the Church.

I beg your pardon, and don’t mean to sound unfriendly or anything, but I do not know one single Evangelical that would bring their children up also teaching them the Catholic faith, which is what you seem to be saying. Catholic parents are bound to teach the children the Catholic faith, and as they grow old enough to understand things, when questions come up as they are exposed to more people and different beliefs in general, then is the time to explain such differences, and why we believe as we do, and I am sure most Evangelical parents raise their children likewise according to their beliefs.

We teach our children what we believe, and that is our duty and our right as parents, and the grandparents should respect that decision. There are many non-doctrinal children’s books out there with Bible stories that any Catholic or non-Catholic child can read and enjoy without undermining their faith or confusing them.

A 3 year old, no matter how brilliant, does not have the capacity to understand the historical developments and doctrinal disputes, and these should not be presented until the child is old enough to understand.

 

[Blacksword]

Honestly, I wonder if they are trying to make a statement, or if they just don’t understand all of the differences and would understand why a catholic wouldn’t agree with those books. In fact, they may not have even read the book at all, they just thought it would be a nice book about Jesus. I know that before I was catholic I gave my Godson christian themed books and I never read any of them first. I just assumed they would be ok because they were cute and about Jesus.

I think that maybe the next gift giving event comes up, you could suggest a catholic line of books your daughter would like as a gift. Don’t say it in a way that is controversial, but more like “hey (child) really is loving this book series, just thought you’d like to know since her birthday is coming up.”

If they do end up gifting your daughter something you don’t agree with, I would just graciously accept and then either don’t give it to her, or use it as an example of what other christians believe and why the catholic church doesn’t believe those things.

I would hate for a wedge to continue growing between you and your parents over gifts. Ultimately us converts want to show our Protestant family and friends how our faith has made us better people, not critical people.

Yes correct, further strain never helps which is why I wondered how best to approach it. I’ll keep this in mind.

 

[Blacksword]

I beg your pardon, and don’t mean to sound unfriendly or anything, but I do not know one single Evangelical that would bring their children up also teaching them the Catholic faith, which is what you seem to be saying. Catholic parents are bound to teach the children the Catholic faith, and as they grow old enough to understand things, when questions come up as they are exposed to more people and different beliefs in general, then is the time to explain such differences, and why we believe as we do, and I am sure most Evangelical parents raise their children likewise according to their beliefs.

We teach our children what we believe, and that is our duty and our right as parents, and the grandparents should respect that decision. There are many non-doctrinal children’s books out there with Bible stories that any Catholic or non-Catholic child can read and enjoy without undermining their faith or confusing them.

A 3 year old, no matter how brilliant, does not have the capacity to understand the historical developments and doctrinal disputes, and these should not be presented until the child is old enough to understand.

Thanks. Yes exactly. My daughter is 7 now, but your points are very correct and still stand. What Protestant would begin going through TULIP or explaining their particular objections to Catholicism (and fairly and accurately presenting actual Catholic teaching) to a 7 year old?

 

[Blacksword]

Your parents wanted you to remain non-Catholic once you grew up, and even though they didn’t want you to, they had to accept your choices, including ones that involved listening to and believing the truth-claims of some other people besides them.

Turnabout is fair play. You need to accept the same possibility for your children. Apply the same logic to them, and please understand that if your child is anywhere near as brilliant as you say, strategic and intentional lack of information will be far more confusing (and a potential reason for distrusting you) than having all the information that’s available with you still being involved. Things make more sense to brilliant young minds when everything is made available to them.

I’m curious. When she asked if God founded the Catholic Church, did you give any explanation as to how Jesus could be standing in Jerusalem while establishing a Church with headquarters in Rome? And is she at all aware of the existence of Eastern Orthodoxy as of right now? If not, I suspect she may be breathing with one lung from a historical standpoint, particularly vis a vis the God and the founding and the Church.

You sound combative, and this thread isn’t the time or place to discuss the particulars of what I believe are Reformation errors. I’d be happy to do so elsewhere but not in this thread.

Suffice to say turnabout is not “fair play” as I have the duty and right to impart to my children the faith that I believe to be the truth just as you would for your children. They can and will learn in due time the differences in world faiths, and will chose on their own ultimately what they believe.

But having outsiders interfere with the religious education I’m giving to my children and hinder the process of their learning is not acceptable to me, and I’ll bet would not be to you as well. For instance if you discovered that your neighbors were giving your kids lessons in Buddhism while they were over on a play date I’ll bet you’d be peeved.

As for the question about founding the Catholic Church, your response frankly shows you don’t understand much about Catholic teaching or history. I told my daughter God did indeed found the Church, in the person of Jesus, read Mathew 16:18 to her and explained it was founded then on the rock, that is Peter, at Ceasarea Philippi, and then the Church was essentially officially born later in Jerusalem at Pentecost. No Catholic with any knowledge of Church history thinks the Church was actually started in Rome.

That is Catholic teaching and is well attested in Scripture and Tradition, your historically recent Protestant innovative interpretations notwithstanding. As for the Orthodox Church, I love it very much, they are as Catholic as the Catholic Church is orthodox, and they have the same apostolic faith, Tradition and teaching as do we Catholics. What of it? The existence of the Eastern Orthodox Church in fact hurts the Protestant case, not the Catholic argument, so not sure why you brought that up? But more to the point I agree with the other poster: do you think a good way of teaching your faith to a seven year old would be to enroll them in a college level world religion class and have them learn about Islam, Confucianism, or other faiths not your own, or perhaps rather to teach them your faith, and then answer questions on other faiths as they come up? If your parents were Catholic would you mind them giving your kids rosaries and books explaining Marian devotion?

 

[Dmitri77]

I would take the book away and have a loving and polite conversation with your parents and ask them to avoid giving her books that contradict your Catholic faith. I mean if a well meaning relative gave her a book on Wicca you would take it away in half a heartbeat. Though that is an extreme example the principle is the same.

 

[badnewsbarrett]

I beg your pardon, and don’t mean to sound unfriendly or anything, but I do not know one single Evangelical that would bring their children up also teaching them the Catholic faith, which is what you seem to be saying. Catholic parents are bound to teach the children the Catholic faith, and as they grow old enough to understand things, when questions come up as they are exposed to more people and different beliefs in general, then is the time to explain such differences, and why we believe as we do, and I am sure most Evangelical parents raise their children likewise according to their beliefs.

We teach our children what we believe, and that is our duty and our right as parents, and the grandparents should respect that decision. There are many non-doctrinal children’s books out there with Bible stories that any Catholic or non-Catholic child can read and enjoy without undermining their faith or confusing them.

A 3 year old, no matter how brilliant, does not have the capacity to understand the historical developments and doctrinal disputes, and these should not be presented until the child is old enough to understand.

I was a bit of an advanced reader from the youngest age possible, so my experiences at age 7 or so aren’t typical, but I do remember reading through the Book House set of 12 books, learned about the idea of purgatory from Dante’s Inferno, wrapped my head around a little bit of the religious conflict in England (although I didn’t quite know where that was yet), got some exposure to sacred art…and this sort of thing wasn’t censored by my parents, simply on account of some Catholic-related stuff coming up. I also had a pretty good idea of what the Apocrypha was starting pretty close to the first years in which I was able to read an NIV written at the fourth grade level, but that was because one of my grandparents (a lifelong Protestant) made a point of knowing as much as he could about every type of Bible that was out there, so he possessed every translation he could lay his hands on. Including the older version of the NAB. And this happened without any Catholic grandparents being involved.

Granted, my parents were restrictive in other areas. Evolution, for example, was a fantasy and they would leave Answers in Genesis material laying around for me to find. This, along with a couple of other things, came to be something that I look at as a questionable type of restriction, although there is only a bit of mild resentment on account of some things being kept from me.

The main point though, is that grandparents are going to be involved. There are limits, but in general they shouldn’t be censored. I don’t know why you bring up the age of 3 because the daughter is 7 now, but if Protestant grandparents want to help their granddaughter understand that Protestant beliefs are coherent, well-developed, and thoroughly Christian in nature, that should not be restricted. Moreover, it’s not as if they’re sitting her down and teaching her an entire course, there are some books here and there that have some things in them, she’ll understand less than half of it now and more than half of it later. Parents, over time, help with the rest.

Suppose the shoe were on the other foot, everyone. Suppose you’re talking to a Catholic mother- whose daughter becomes Protestant- and then there’s some bright young children being raised in a Protestant home, while the Catholic grandparents try to slip a couple of things in there so that their faith isn’t entirely obscured in this family dynamic. I promise you, all of you would encourage those Catholic grandparents to tactfully get some things in there, plant some seeds because hopefully you can give those kids a chance.

If you can’t apply the same logic in both situations, something is wrong with your logic. Know that.

 

[Dmitri77]

The main point though, is that grandparents are going to be involved. There are limits, but in general they shouldn’t be censored. I don’t know why you bring up the age of 3 because the daughter is 7 now, but if Protestant grandparents want to help their granddaughter understand that Protestant beliefs are coherent, well-developed, and thoroughly Christian in nature, that should not be restricted. Moreover, it’s not as if they’re sitting her down and teaching her an entire course, there are some books here and there that have some things in them, she’ll understand less than half of it now and more than half of it later. Parents, over time, help with the rest.

Don’t assume that since I am addressing this that I accept your premise on the nature of Protestant beliefs but if the grandparents are teaching the child things that contradict the Catholic faith by all means they should be censored. The Catholic Church teaches that Protestantism holds to many grave errors that endanger the people’s souls. The parents would be grossly negligent if they allowed their child to be taught those thing. I mean if one of your relatives gave your child a book on witchcraft would you allow them to keep it and read it?

Suppose the shoe were on the other foot, everyone. Suppose you’re talking to a Catholic mother- whose daughter becomes Protestant- and then there’s some bright young children being raised in a Protestant home, while the Catholic grandparents try to slip a couple of things in there so that their faith isn’t entirely obscured in this family dynamic. I promise you, all of you would encourage those Catholic grandparents to tactfully get some things in there, plant some seeds because hopefully you can give those kids a chance.

If you can’t apply the same logic in both situations, something is wrong with your logic. Know that.

I’m afraid you are mistaken. I imagine most if not all of the Catholics here would uphold the parent’s right to raise the child in whatever faith they hold, without interference from relatives no matter how well meaning.

 

[badnewsbarrett]

Thanks. Yes exactly. My daughter is 7 now, but your points are very correct and still stand. What Protestant would begin going through TULIP or explaining their particular objections to Catholicism (and fairly and accurately presenting actual Catholic teaching) to a 7 year old?

In my experience, there’s one or two families in a typical Protestant church- outside the mainline, anyway, which is what I’m most familiar with- that can be found doing this type of thing at any given time. Personally, I remember back when my church used to have an evening service, and my family was one of the few that would go every week. I was first exposed to TULIP in some detail (with some Q&A opportunities throughout) and then Dispensationalism came up the next week. I think I was 8 at the time. I didn’t totally understand all of it, I didn’t know the entire history or the details of what every different type of person would have to say about it, but I got the basics. And I definitely understood that Limited Atonement was considered to be controversial and fairly optional, at least at our church.

When you get a wide range of Protestant kids together in one place from a variety of backgrounds- like in a college dorm or, at a younger age, a church camp of some sort- you would be surprised how big the range is between the people who know barely anything and the people who are pretty much seminary-ready. There is a massive range. A whole lot in between, but there are always some people all the way at either end of the spectrum.

To your other point though- what Protestant parent is going to portray Catholicism in a light that is entirely fair and accurate? If it’s entirely up to them, probably close to none of them. But if every set of high-achieving Protestant parents also has Catholic grandparents in the picture that wish to negotiate in the interest of fairness, That is a Good thing, that is a Healthy thing when it comes to ecumenism and a proper relationship between Protestants and Catholics, That is the kind of thing that leads to fairness and good things all around, just as long as nobody is overly restrictive, overly interested in silencing their family members, and overly committed to giving their own beliefs a constantly unfair advantage even if their own parents occasionally want to get a word in edgewise.

For the record, This is some logic that can be applied both ways. Keep that in mind, please.

 

[Edmundus1581]

(There’ve been a few posts since I started my reply. Sorry if I’ve missed any important information)

My own background has some similarities.

I was an Anglican convert to Catholicism, and I married an Anglican woman who converted while we were engaged. My Anglican mother was fully supportive of us raising our children as Catholics. However, my in-laws were hostile and always ill-at-ease with their grandchildren being raised as Catholics.

The in-laws aversion was shown in various ways. They were “too busy” with their own church to attend Mass with us. The first baptism was delayed for their sake.

Despite their aversion, I would say, looking backing, that they both supported the Catholic upbringing of our children, albeit reluctantly, and didn’t do anything to undermine it. For instance, for first Holy Communion they gave children’s missals, and the children’s Christian books they gave as presents had no doctrinal problems (and were gratefully received).

After ten years we divorced and my wife left Christianity entirely, and then my in-laws were more free to interfere in the children’s religious education - which would be part of why none of the three now practice any religion.

However, while we were a Catholic family my in-laws were able to overcome their aversion to do the right thing by their grandchildren and the family.

So, having experienced first hand religious differences and conflicts with grandparents, my view is that it is quite alarming that they would actually give books with a specifically non-Catholic message. It’s possible, but highly unlikely, that they are unaware of this and are simply passing on the best Christian education they can. I think it more likely that they are abusing their position to interfere in the children’s religious development. I like the word “meddle” in your title. It sounds apt.

Put it another way. Let’s say a Catholic parent had a child who became a Protestant and was raising a (committed) Protestant family. The Catholic parent could easily find much Catholic and Protestant material as gifts which didn’t offend either sensibility (eg. C.S Lewis). Would that Catholic parent unknowingly give a gift with a strong message of the sacraments and Church authority? Would they give, say, a rosary or a children’s Book of Saints, without first asking the parents?

 

[Blacksword]

I was a bit of an advanced reader from the youngest age possible, so my experiences at age 7 or so aren’t typical, but I do remember reading through the Book House set of 12 books, learned about the idea of purgatory from Dante’s Inferno, wrapped my head around a little bit of the religious conflict in England (although I didn’t quite know where that was yet), got some exposure to sacred art…and this sort of thing wasn’t censored by my parents, simply on account of some Catholic-related stuff coming up. I also had a pretty good idea of what the Apocrypha was starting pretty close to the first years in which I was able to read an NIV written at the fourth grade level, but that was because one of my grandparents (a lifelong Protestant) made a point of knowing as much as he could about every type of Bible that was out there, so he possessed every translation he could lay his hands on. Including the older version of the NAB. And this happened without any Catholic grandparents being involved.

Granted, my parents were restrictive in other areas. Evolution, for example, was a fantasy and they would leave Answers in Genesis material laying around for me to find. This, along with a couple of other things, came to be something that I look at as a questionable type of restriction, although there is only a bit of mild resentment on account of some things being kept from me.

The main point though, is that grandparents are going to be involved. There are limits, but in general they shouldn’t be censored. I don’t know why you bring up the age of 3 because the daughter is 7 now, but if Protestant grandparents want to help their granddaughter understand that Protestant beliefs are coherent, well-developed, and thoroughly Christian in nature, that should not be restricted. Moreover, it’s not as if they’re sitting her down and teaching her an entire course, there are some books here and there that have some things in them, she’ll understand less than half of it now and more than half of it later. Parents, over time, help with the rest.

Suppose the shoe were on the other foot, everyone. Suppose you’re talking to a Catholic mother- whose daughter becomes Protestant- and then there’s some bright young children being raised in a Protestant home, while the Catholic grandparents try to slip a couple of things in there so that their faith isn’t entirely obscured in this family dynamic. I promise you, all of you would encourage those Catholic grandparents to tactfully get some things in there, plant some seeds because hopefully you can give those kids a chance.

If you can’t apply the same logic in both situations, something is wrong with your logic. Know that.

I think your experience and reading level at that age is not typical, but nevertheless my daughters live in an incredibly ethnically and spiritually diverse community, most of their friends are from Japan, the Middle East, India, and elsewhere and they have exposure to Shinto (my wife is Japanese and their grandfather was Shinto), Buddhism and many faiths, that doesn’t mean we provide them actual educational materials meant to proselytize and convert them! If the scenario above were my experience frankly I’d ask what materials the parents were comfortable with before hand, that’s just me.

 

[Blacksword]

I would take the book away and have a loving and polite conversation with your parents and ask them to avoid giving her books that contradict your Catholic faith. I mean if a well meaning relative gave her a book on Wicca you would take it away in half a heartbeat. Though that is an extreme example the principle is the same.

Yeah, you’re correct the principle is the same, I just fear driving a further wedge in things and moving my folks even farther away from unity.

 

[badnewsbarrett]

Don’t assume that since I am addressing this that I accept your premise on the nature of Protestant beliefs but if the grandparents are teaching the child things that contradict the Catholic faith by all means they should be censored. The Catholic Church teaches that Protestantism holds to many grave errors that endanger the people’s souls. The parents would be grossly negligent if they allowed their child to be taught those thing. I mean if one of your relatives gave your child a book on witchcraft would you allow them to keep it and read it?

What makes you compare Protestantism- a branch of Christianity, and firmly within the bounds of little o Christian orthodoxy, as it pertains to key doctrines on the Trinity and on Christology- to witchcraft? Is it because of the particular phrasing of Catholic anathemas from several centuries ago, written at a time when the Protestant-Catholic conflict was raging violently and both sides were right in the breach of the conflict, and in the worst type of relationship to one another? Are you really going to pull those types of things into the 21st century, as if things haven’t massively changed since then? I mean, if you really want to go back to that time and place, I’m sure you could have found plenty of Catholics who very much wanted to eliminate Protestantism by de-legalizing it everywhere and punishing those who taught any of it. And you could find the Catholic Church, in an official capacity, supporting exactly that strategy even past the point where it was clearly not going to work. I assume you’re not bringing that part of Catholic history into this century with you though, am I right?

For the record, I have some extended family that are Mormons. Well, some still are, some of them have now stopped being Mormons. The point is, even though Mormonism is well outside of orthodox Christianity (edit- sorry, had to go back and change that to a little o), I would read something if they gave it to me. I can remember when I was just a bit past the age of 10 and my parents made sure I got a couple of Mormon exposes in front of me, The God Makers and Mormonism Mama and Me. I actually would have liked to have heard their side of things, as there are some decent grounds for Mormons to claim that some of the information and the way it’s presented in those books is unfair to them. I tend to want to hear people out if they believe they’re being treated unfairly. Looking back with the perspective of an adult who’s looked into all of that a lot more closely, I would imagine that with the parental influence I had, the materials available, and above all the mountains of evidence that Mormonism makes no sense on so many levels, I could have heard the other side of the story in just a bit of detail and definitely not have wanted to become a Mormon. I would actually have preferred a bit more engagement on the topic and a bit more fairness.

Witchcraft seems like an odd thing to bring up, though. I’m making this about Mormons instead, if you don’t mind.

I’m afraid you are mistaken. I imagine most if not all of the Catholics here would uphold the parent’s right to raise the child in whatever faith they hold, without interference from relatives no matter how well meaning.

Unless the kids are being raised non-Catholic and to any extent anti-Catholic, in which case any and all Catholic relatives are encouraged to go to bat for the Catholic Truth up to whatever point they reach stiff resistance. I’ve seen enough of the family-related threads on here to have an idea of how people actually respond to this when it’s going the other way.

The logic really isn’t applied the same in both situations. It’s not. I see things, I know what’s going on. That’s my main point.

 

[badnewsbarrett]

I think your experience and reading level at that age is not typical, but nevertheless my daughters live in an incredibly ethnically and spiritually diverse community, most of their friends are from Japan, the Middle East, India, and elsewhere and they have exposure to Shinto (my wife is Japanese and their grandfather was Shinto), Buddhism and many faiths, that doesn’t mean we provide them actual educational materials meant to proselytize and convert them! If the scenario above were my experience frankly I’d ask what materials the parents were comfortable with before hand, that’s just me.

Okay, at a certain level, it is a good thing to understand the beliefs of your neighbors and those you spend any kind of time around. I actually wish I’d had a bit more of that when I was a kid.

But those are your Neighbors. Those are people who happen to live close by you. These are grandparents you’re talking about, and they have privileged access that neighbors don’t.

There aren’t really any hard and fast rules as to how these inter-generational and inter-faith situations need to work, and to a certain extent it’s a negotiation process that will continue to be an ongoing negotiation. I’m going to restate the original point in a slightly different way now- do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That might be a good thing to keep in mind. And to put it another way, if the shoe were on the other foot and you find yourself reaching a completely different strategy when the situation is hypothetically reversed, please make sure you fix your line of reasoning so that it is consistent from one thing to the next. I’m reasonably certain that very few Catholics who’ve Ever been on this forum will tell you that, so I guess it falls to me.

 

[KildareBrigid]

Yeah, you’re correct the principle is the same, I just fear driving a further wedge in things and moving my folks even farther away from unity.

My advice: Pick your battles. Is a child’s gift about Jesus from grandparents who are presumably giving the gift with respectful intentions a battle worth fighting? Or is it more important to keep the peace and then remove the book or clarify the points of the book when the child is of the appropriate age?

One of my favorite sayings is “win the battle, lose the war.”