The Catchism teaches that we are complicit in sin by silence. However, in my experience, my attempts at fraternal correction almost always fall on deaf ears, so I remain silent nowadays, since I know it won’t be heeded. For example, one of my classmates used Jesus’ Name profanely the other day. I said nothing, and prayed a “Father forgive them” for her.
But I still feel complicit in sin. I don’t say anything anymore because when I do I almost always say something stupid or inaccurate. So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either I allow someone to sin by silence, or I drivd them further away by bad argument.
And please don’t use that Mother Teresa quote that God “calls us to be faithful, not successful”. If it’s God’s will for all to know and love Him, then why isn’t He aiding me when I’m trying to make Him known? I would at least like some evidence that my work in His vineyard is bearing fruit.
As I see you are in school, I would assume you are somewhere between high school and college. That would put me somewhere between 40 and 50 years older than you. and with a bit more life experiences to reflect on.
One think I have observed - and this is not directed to your age group, but pretty much cuts across the age spectrums - is that people in general do not take correction kindly, if at all, from anyone they do not recognize as an authority, and in particular, an authority with authority over them.
Additionally, correctly or not, many who ar corrected look at the one doing the correction as a “self-righteous prig”. Not that I like Wikipedia, but here goes:
"A prig… is a person who shows an inordinately zealous approach to matters of form and propriety—especially where the prig has the ability to show superior knowledge to those who do not know the protocol in question. They see little need to consider the feelings or intentions of others, relying instead on established order and rigid rules to resolve all questions.
The prig approaches social interactions with a strong sense of self-righteousness…
“A prig, like the Pharisee, says: “God, I thank thee that I am not as other men are”—except that he often substitutes Self for God…”
There is a world of difference between looking at sally or George, when they swear and saying: “Sally (George), why do you say “XXX”? It really makes me uncomfortable when you speak like that; is it really necessary?” in a rather quiet voice (and never in front of others).
The other approach is to tell them that they are wrong, that they should not say “XXX”, and etc. and etc.
I have never seen you in action, so I cannot judge how you come across; whether you quietly ask, when alone, why they do “X”, or if you correct them and tell them what they are doing wrong.
Many - not all, but many, when quietly and politely asked, will give a response explain it, or apologize,
And many, when confronted with someone who is going to “fraternally correct” them, are going to respond to what they perceive; and what they perceive is a prig. Particularly if it is done in front of others.
As has been said for eons, there is more than one way to skin a cat, and using a dull razor tends to make the cat mad.
And as another poster mentioned, if you think you are complicit in sin by not correcting others, you might sit down with a priest and consider whether or not you are being scrupulous.
