Ever felt like...

[Lochias]

…you were being watched? And whatever is doing the watching really, really doesn’t like you?

I get this on occasion, especially when I’ve been to Confession and making a better go of my prayer life, and the like. It’s a creeping, sickly, angry feeling that makes the hackles on the back of the neck rise.

I pretty much just wondered if anyone else has ever experienced something like this.

 

[nickybr38]

When I was in RCIA I felt like this a LOT.

I don’t feel it anymore these days. Not since I was confirmed.

Stay in prayer, friend, and you will be just fine.

 

[R_C]

I think many have.

The issue, however, is not the feeling in itself, but how you relate to it.

Why do you perceive it in such a negative way? Could it not be your guardian angel? And isn’t it written that “the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous” (Ps 34:8)?

Try to meditate on God’s omnipresence, and realize that even if by God’s grace you were allowed every so often, for your greater good, to feel the look of the adversary on you, his look is not unlike that of any other finite creature, a void look that comes and goes. Full of hatred, perhaps. But it is most natural that the more you grow closer to the Lord and reflect Him, the more he will hate you (and, at the same time, be terrified by you). God’s look, however, is an eternal look of everlasting love, and His presence, unlike that of any other creature, is omnipresent (meaning that you truly live in God and through God, and He is truly around you but also truly in your soul).

It may also be a product of our mind, which, as St. John of the Cross writes, is very powerful and fully capable of deceiving us. Therefore I think you may want to mention this to your confessor and meditate more on God’s presence (perhaps by means of Eucharistic adoration, which is truly being face to face with Christ, though you, the mystical Bride, wear the veil of faith, which does not allow you to fully contemplate Him). He will be able to provide you with further counsel on whether or not the only steps to take are related to the spiritual life.

 

[Lochias]

When I was in RCIA I felt like this a LOT.

I don’t feel it anymore these days. Not since I was confirmed.

Stay in prayer, friend, and you will be just fine.

Indeed, thanks.

I think many have.

The issue, however, is not the feeling in itself, but how you relate to it.

Why do you perceive it in such a negative way? Could it not be your guardian angel? And isn’t it written that “the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous” (Ps 34:8)?

Try to meditate on God’s omnipresence, and realize that even if by God’s grace you were allowed every so often, for your greater good, to feel the look of the adversary on you, his look is not unlike that of any other finite creature, a void look that comes and goes. Full of hatred, perhaps. But it is most natural that the more you grow closer to the Lord and reflect Him, the more he will hate you (and, at the same time, be terrified by you). God’s look, however, is an eternal look of everlasting love, and His presence, unlike that of any other creature, is omnipresent (meaning that you truly live in God and through God, and He is truly around you but also truly in your soul).

It may also be a product of our mind, which, as St. John of the Cross writes, is very powerful and fully capable of deceiving us. Therefore I think you may want to mention this to your confessor and meditate more on God’s presence (perhaps by means of Eucharistic adoration, which is truly being face to face with Christ, though you, the mystical Bride, wear the veil of faith, which does not allow you to fully contemplate Him). He will be able to provide you with further counsel on whether or not the only steps to take are related to the spiritual life.

I hadn’t thought about it quite like that. I’m aware that it could be my mind playing tricks, yes. I’ve felt the peace of trusting in God, and it feels much, much different than this feeling. I will mention it to my confessor, that is good advice. Thanks.

 

[Courtney_R]

Not exactly like that, but we just moved into an apartment, and when our bedroom door is open at night after the lights are out, I always feel like something ominous and male is outside the room next to the doorway. In our last place, I was afraid of the landing at the top of the stairs and the bathroom right next to it (it felt female and very evil). I don’t know if there was ever really anything there or not but the feeling is so creepy I have to have the light on when leaving my bedroom at night. But yes, it does feel like its looking in and definitely feels negative.

 

[Bezant]

…you were being watched? And whatever is doing the watching really, really doesn’t like you?

I get this on occasion, especially when I’ve been to Confession and making a better go of my prayer life, and the like. It’s a creeping, sickly, angry feeling that makes the hackles on the back of the neck rise.

I pretty much just wondered if anyone else has ever experienced something like this.

I can’t give you an answer, but it’s possible that you’re mistaken about the source. My friend, an ex-atheist, described a similar inexplicable experience – but he concluded it was God’s presence. If God is watching you, consider yourself blessed!

 

[Lochias]

I can’t give you an answer, but it’s possible that you’re mistaken about the source. My friend, an ex-atheist, described a similar inexplicable experience – but he concluded it was God’s presence. If God is watching you, consider yourself blessed!

I would hope, fervently, that God is not watching me with sick, clawing anger.

 

[centurionguard]

…you were being watched? And whatever is doing the watching really, really doesn’t like you?

I get this on occasion, especially when I’ve been to Confession and making a better go of my prayer life, and the like. It’s a creeping, sickly, angry feeling that makes the hackles on the back of the neck rise.

I pretty much just wondered if anyone else has ever experienced something like this.

Hello Lochias;

I’m not diminishing your uneasy feelings in the scenario you’ve described.
And I think we’ve all experienced this uneasiness of being watched or perhaps prying eyes of prejudgment from others.

The best way to turn this around mentally within yourself is prayer. When I go to confession I’ll pick a pew close to the confessional and sit or kneel at the pew and close my eyes to distractions and prayerfully contemplate an examination of conscious over my past sins.

Learning to clear your mind from distractions is an art in itself, putting your mind at peace and away from all distracting feelings and reasons within ourselves that make us feel uneasy.

As a former sacristan in my parish for almost ten years I had many eyes of the 1000 parishioners in congregation on me while I carried out my duties of my priest wishes making sure everything was correctly set up on the sanctuary right up to the time before Mass officially began. Maintaining a proper composure of reverence was all I humbly concerned myself with.

Keep your mind at peace when you go to confession and humbly focus on the contemplative prayerful matters of importance in God at hand. Worry not about others gawking at you and set your mindset at praying for them if you feel uneasy.

Hope that helps.
Yours In the Peace of Christ
Chris

 

[Veronica97]

Courtney, can you get a priest to come bless your new apartment? We don’t always know about the people who lived somewhere before us. They might have been into the occult or they might have been living in such a way that evil spirits were drawn to them. In any case, I would also get some holy water to sprinkle around your apartment and in your bedroom. Cross yourself with it every night and pray the “St. Michael” prayer aloud before you go to sleep. Make sure you also have at least one crucifix up in your home, especially in your bedroom or near your bedroom door. Chances are, if you feel this way, you shouldn’t discount it. I’ve had experiences at night, which I don’t think are from my home but are because I’ve had a reversion to the Faith a little over a year ago. Have you recently become more committed to your faith?

 

[Ophelia23]

I certainly have had this feeling. I have experienced more than just feelings in this regard, but we need not go too into detail. What I can say is this: it is scary, yes. But once you conclude and embrace that God is so much stronger than ANY evil put before us, you can vanquish that nasty feeling. I’d tell you to pray, but you my friend already know this. Be strong!