Ever had a priest in confession assume that you weren't generally contrite

[leonie]

It’s just one of my pet peeves. I am irritated when I go to confession and during the time when the priest gives advice, he talks about how terrible one of the sins I confessed is.

That’s why I confessed it!!! Yes, I realized that I committed a terrible sin. I was ashamed and saddened by my failure and went to confession to make my soul right with God. So, why do some priests feel compelled to tell me that the sin I just confessed is wrong. Do they think I’m not sincere?

Today, the priest even told me that it was really wrong to do a particular sin (that I confessed) assuming I could just go to confession and have it wiped out. Huh? Why would he assume that I had presumption like that? I’ve never in my life sinned on purpose presuming I’d go to confession later. My sins are just the result of my own lack of virtue–usually committed thoughtless and carelessly, never out of premeditation.

I confessed behind the screen, and I’ve only been to this priest once before, so he couldn’t be seeing a pattern. Aside from that, most people have root sins that they must continually confess as they strive to overcome them. It’s not uncommon for someone to confess the same type of sin in subsequent confessions.

Shouldn’t the priest assume that confessor is genuinely contrite and recognizes the sin he is confessing is a sin? Why do some priests feel compelled to talk about how bad that particular sin is?

Ever have this experience?

 

[Just_1_hr_a_wk]

It’s just one of my pet peeves. I am irritated when I go to confession and during the time when the priest gives advice, he talks about how terrible one of the sins I confessed is.

That’s why I confessed it!!! Yes, I realized that I committed a terrible sin. I was ashamed and saddened by my failure and went to confession to make my soul right with God. So, why do some priests feel compelled to tell me that the sin I just confessed is wrong. Do they think I’m not sincere?

Today, the priest even told me that it was really wrong to do a particular sin (that I confessed) assuming I could just go to confession and have it wiped out. Huh? Why would he assume that I had presumption like that? I’ve never in my life sinned on purpose presuming I’d go to confession later. My sins are just the result of my own lack of virtue–usually committed thoughtless and carelessly, never out of premeditation.

I confessed behind the screen, and I’ve only been to this priest once before, so he couldn’t be seeing a pattern. Aside from that, most people have root sins that they must continually confess as they strive to overcome them. It’s not uncommon for someone to confess the same type of sin in subsequent confessions.

Shouldn’t the priest assume that confessor is genuinely contrite and recognizes the sin he is confessing is a sin? Why do some priests feel compelled to talk about how bad that particular sin is?

Ever have this experience?

Sometimes you have to trust that God is working thru the priest when he says stuff that seems ‘duh’.

BTW - if the priest had any real doubts you were not genuinely contrite you would not receive absolution.

 

[leonie]

Sometimes you have to trust that God is working thru the priest when he says stuff that seems ‘duh’.

BTW - if the priest had any real doubts you were not genuinely contrite you would not receive absolution.

funny you should say that. The priest emphasized to me that I wouldn’t be absolved if I didn’t do my penance. My penance was meditate on ways I could prevent myself from doing this sin in the future. Since, I had all ready made resolutions and plans, I was a little befuddled. In fact, in confession, he asked me what I planned to do to avoid this sin in the future, so I told him my plan.

Don’t we promise to do this in our act of contrition, to “sin no more and avoid the near occasion of sin?”

Now, I’m worried that I won’t fulfill my penance. If I all ready have a plan, do I abandon it and meditate on another plan? I guess I’ll just pray about it and hope God accepts my time as a penance.

I think penances should be very clear and definite.

I think this priest has a particular hatred for the sin I confessed

 

[Just_1_hr_a_wk]

I had one fairly regular confessor who saddled me with two (2) NEVER ENDING penances.

They were and still are things I should do.

Sounds like what this priest did was along the same thought.

Trust the work of God in it.

Next time go to a different priest.

 

[hasikelee]

Maybe it is a popular sin and the priest in his humanly weakness reacted poorly.

They are human, too.

If you know in your heart that you are truly contrite, and if you openly confessed, then let God do the rest.

You know, I do this sometimes in our loss prevention incidents…one after another you get a thief or a liar or a rude person, then a nice person comes up to you and you have to remember to be nice! lol

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

If you don’t like the “bedside manner” or “diagnostic analysis” of this priest, you are always free to find another. There is no law that says you must confess only to your parish priest or pastor. You are free to confess anywhere.

 

[THurifer2]

The priest emphasized to me that I wouldn’t be absolved if I didn’t do my penance.

This is ABOSOLUTLY FALSE. Penance has NO BEARING on confessed sins…When you were absolved your sins were blotted out FOREVER…Non completing penance does not bring the sins back. HOWEVER not completing a penance is a sin…

Absolution can NEVER be conditional.

 

[THurifer2]

Imagine what it was like to have St. John Vianney or St. Padre Pio as a confessor…I have read that they could read souls and tell people of sins that they forgot about.

I heard that Pio could be a though confessor. (that is a good thing)

 

[puzzleannie]

responding to thread title:
if I did I would be discussing it with the priest, not with anonymous third parties on an internet forum. Monday-morning quarterbacking of one’s confession is probably a really good short cut to spiritual disaster, and good habit to break. Far better would be taking what the priest says in confession to heart, making good act of contrition, doing one’s penance, avoiding near occasions of sin, and resolving to do better.

 

[Sir_Knight]

not completing a penance is a sin…

That is incorrect. Whatever debt we don’t pay in this life will be required of us in the next life and it has been said that we can pay our debt in this life with pennies on the dollar compared to what will be required of us in the next life so it would be really foolish not to complete a penance that was given to us no matter how difficult it might appear to be because in the next life it will be numerous times more difficult.

 

[THurifer2]

That is incorrect. Whatever debt we don’t pay in this life will be required of us in the next life and it has been said that we can pay our debt in this life with pennies on the dollar compared to what will be required of us in the next life so it would be really foolish not to complete a penance that was given to us no matter how difficult it might appear to be because in the next life it will be numerous times more difficult.

“All Christ’s faithful are obliged by divine law, each in his or her own way, to do penance. However, so that all may be joined together in a certain common practice of penance, days of penance are prescribed. On these days the faithful are in a special manner to devote themselves to prayer, to engage in works of piety and charity, and to deny themselves, by fulfilling their obligations more faithfully and especially by observing the fast and abstinence which the following canons prescribe.” [Canon Law # 1249]

 

[leonie]

If you don’t like the “bedside manner” or “diagnostic analysis” of this priest, you are always free to find another. There is no law that says you must confess only to your parish priest or pastor. You are free to confess anywhere.

True, but our parish doesn’t publish which priest will be hearing confessions. And, I was concerned about serious sin that I wanted to confess asap.

btw, the sin I was the most concerned about was not the one the priest was.

 

[leonie]

responding to thread title:
if I did I would be discussing it with the priest, not with anonymous third parties on an internet forum. Monday-morning quarterbacking of one’s confession is probably a really good short cut to spiritual disaster, and good habit to break. Far better would be taking what the priest says in confession to heart, making good act of contrition, doing one’s penance, avoiding near occasions of sin, and resolving to do better.

okey, dokey, I hear you, Annie. Just trying to work through a bad confession experience. gee.

 

[water]

What do people want to hear from priests this day?

If the priest told you again that the sin you committed was wrong, and you got so offended. Think whom you are really offending here?

 

[Just_1_hr_a_wk]

okey, dokey, I hear you, Annie. Just trying to work through a bad confession experience. gee.

Shoot - that is not a bad confession experience.

Bad experience is having the priest yell at you so loud that most waiting in line for their turn hear him CLEARLY.

**this happened to me when I was about 11 in the late 60s

 

[whatevergirl]

This is ABOSOLUTLY FALSE. Penance has NO BEARING on confessed sins…When you were absolved your sins were blotted out FOREVER…Non completing penance does not bring the sins back. HOWEVER not completing a penance is a sin…

Absolution can NEVER be conditional.

That’s what I thought?

 

[palmas85]

It’s just one of my pet peeves. I am irritated when I go to confession and during the time when the priest gives advice, he talks about how terrible one of the sins I confessed is.

That’s why I confessed it!!! Yes, I realized that I committed a terrible sin. I was ashamed and saddened by my failure and went to confession to make my soul right with God. So, why do some priests feel compelled to tell me that the sin I just confessed is wrong. Do they think I’m not sincere?

Today, the priest even told me that it was really wrong to do a particular sin (that I confessed) assuming I could just go to confession and have it wiped out. Huh? Why would he assume that I had presumption like that? I’ve never in my life sinned on purpose presuming I’d go to confession later. My sins are just the result of my own lack of virtue–usually committed thoughtless and carelessly, never out of premeditation.

I confessed behind the screen, and I’ve only been to this priest once before, so he couldn’t be seeing a pattern. Aside from that, most people have root sins that they must continually confess as they strive to overcome them. It’s not uncommon for someone to confess the same type of sin in subsequent confessions.

Shouldn’t the priest assume that confessor is genuinely contrite and recognizes the sin he is confessing is a sin? Why do some priests feel compelled to talk about how bad that particular sin is?

Ever have this experience?

Yes. I once had a Priest ask me point blank if I was really contrite about the sin or if I was just confessing for the sake of confession. I was upset at first then on reflection, I realized that the Priest had asked a valid question.

 

[Sir_Knight]

“All Christ’s faithful are obliged by divine law, each in his or her own way, to do penance. However, so that all may be joined together in a certain common practice of penance, days of penance are prescribed. On these days the faithful are in a special manner to devote themselves to prayer, to engage in works of piety and charity, and to deny themselves, by fulfilling their obligations more faithfully and especially by observing the fast and abstinence which the following canons prescribe.” [Canon Law # 1249]

Your quote has to do with the Friday Penance (see what come afterwards in Canon Law # 1250-1253 and Canon Law # 1438) and not with Confession.

 

[leonie]

What do people want to hear from priests this day?

If the priest told you again that the sin you committed was wrong, and you got so offended. Think whom you are really offending here?

No, what irritated me was that I was making a sincere confession, and the priest assumed I wasn’t.

That’s okay, though. I guess I deserve rebukes when I start a thread when I’m still in the heat of a moment. If I had waited a day, I’d never would have started a thread on this.

Let’s let it die!

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[Jean_Anthony]

This thread is closed. Thank you, all.