Every time I think I'm close to discerning my vocation, my life turns upside down

[hamburglar]

I’m having lots of problems trying to discern my vocation. When I first began college, I thought for sure that my vocation was the priesthood or religious life. Then, near the beginning of my sophomore year, I entered into my first romantic relationship. I had thought I was close to knowing what God wants, but then jumped into the relationship.

The relationship was wonderful. After some time, I could see myself as being married and having a family. As time went on, my girlfriend and I both thought we would get married and I was looking into becoming a lay Canon Lawyer. Then, after a little less than 13 months of dating, she broke up with me and I was (and still am) devastated.

It is now 4 months after the breakup, and I have absolutely no idea what my vocation is. I still love this woman, but I really have no clue where to even begin discerning from here. I had thought for sure that God wanted me to be married, and now I’m back to considering the priesthood as a possible vocation.

Basically, I fear this is going to turn into a nasty pattern and I’m never going to discern God’s will. I wish I had some idea of how to sort my thoughts and just listen to God. Perhaps this was somewhat of a rant, but if anyone has experienced a roller-coaster of discernment such as mine, maybe you can help me.

 

[Hidden_One]

“Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless.” - St. Padre Pio.

Live that. ^

Don’t be impetuous. Try to find a good spiritual director. Talk to priests whom you trust.

Live this:

“Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless.” - St. Padre Pio.

 

[4elise]

I’m having lots of problems trying to discern my vocation. When I first began college, I thought for sure that my vocation was the priesthood or religious life. Then, near the beginning of my sophomore year, I entered into my first romantic relationship. I had thought I was close to knowing what God wants, but then jumped into the relationship.

The relationship was wonderful. After some time, I could see myself as being married and having a family. As time went on, my girlfriend and I both thought we would get married and I was looking into becoming a lay Canon Lawyer. Then, after a little less than 13 months of dating, she broke up with me and I was (and still am) devastated.

It is now 4 months after the breakup, and I have absolutely no idea what my vocation is. I still love this woman, but I really have no clue where to even begin discerning from here. I had thought for sure that God wanted me to be married, and now I’m back to considering the priesthood as a possible vocation.

Basically, I fear this is going to turn into a nasty pattern and I’m never going to discern God’s will. I wish I had some idea of how to sort my thoughts and just listen to God. Perhaps this was somewhat of a rant, but if anyone has experienced a roller-coaster of discernment such as mine, maybe you can help me.

Don’t get discouraged - the journey - the missteps - all part of discerning really.
I agree with Hidden One - get a good spiritual director - consider making a 30 day Ignatian Retreat

Trust that God has a plan for your life - trust that as you are striving, you are already living that plan - Praying for you hamburgler! May you know just how much God loves you - know in your striving you are in very good company - many a saint took a long time to discern their call in life!

 

[Alan55]

There really is no way to rush a vocation decision, whether that is a decision to marry or a decision for priesthood or the religious life. You should take as much time, and seek as much assistance, as you need to make a life-long decision. Being confused is ok. Many candidates for the priesthood fell in love and considered marriage before deciding to become priests. I’m guessing that for just about all of them, there were periods of confusion as they considered which path to take. People who are good at building loving relationships, including relationships with the opposite sex, make great priests. It’s a struggle, just as remaining faithful to your wife can be a struggle.

The idea of a spiritual director is a really good one.

 

[hamburglar]

I think a spiritual director is a good idea. Although I go to Mass every Sunday, I do not know any priests. I also do not have a car available at the moment, so that presents another problem.

 

[4elise]

I think a spiritual director is a good idea. Although I go to Mass every Sunday, I do not know any priests. I also do not have a car available at the moment, so that presents another problem.

Your diocese has an online directory: flipbookserver.com/scripts/showbook.aspx?ID=10001746_562747 - you may find services here that can be of help - also places where you can volunteer and help - (bus lines an option?)

I know volunteering is always a great next step when trying to pull oneself out of a tough patch - gives us good perspective, we can do so much good with a bit of time and our God given talents!

Blessings…

 

[4elise]

216.157.210.238/calendar/cal_popup.php?mode=view&id=1719

Diocesan Catholic Men’s Conference - Show Up, Step Up and Step Out

Saturday, March 27, 2010
9:00am-3:30pm

Cathedral Square - Wege Conference Center
360 Division Ave. S., GR

All Catholic men ages 18 and up are invited. This day of prayer, music, and presentations will prepare our hearts for Holy Week by exploring what it means to be Catholic men who follow in His steps (1 Peter 2:21).

Speakers for the event include Deacon Tom Fogle, Fr. Mark-David Janus, CSP and Fr. Steven Cron.

This is an event that you might find helpful… perhaps a group from your parish could go - and carpool?

 

[Viva_Cristo_Rey]

I know how you feel I’ve been in the same roller coaster for years now, even though I have allways known deep inside my heart that what I reallly want is to ascend to the Altar of the Lord and to offer the most perfect sacrifice to Almighty God. For years I fought with my feelings, dating was OK but then my heart was broken on several times, things just did not work out or may be I just did not want them to work out. After thinking twice about marriage I just was’nt sure, now I’m convinced of what my vocation really is but not after lots of prayer before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and lots of Rosaries.
If you will take my advise, visit Him, He is waiting for you in the tabernacle, He is calling you follow your heart, and you will find out your true vocation. A spiritual Director and confesor is of great help too.
I will pray for you, please do the same for me.
“Magister, sequar te quocumque ieris.” Matthaeum XVI, 19
“Messis quidem multa, operarii autem pauci; rogate ergo Dominum messis, ut mittat operarios in messem suam.” Matthaeum IX,37-38

 

[TonyLayne]

There isn’t really much I can add that hasn’t been already said, except to share with you my experience.To put this into greater perspective, I’m probably twenty years older than you are. I too have thought from time to time that I might have a vocation to the priesthood, only to have been pulled away by romantic entanglements. While I have had only a handful of failures of chastity , fortunately God has preserved me (and others) from consequences other than the need to repent and reform my life.

Because of this see-sawing, I’m now neither married nor ordained. However, it may be that neither you nor I am called to either marriage or the altar, that we are called to serve God through other ways. Besides talking with a spiritual director and going on a spiritual retreat whenever practical, you may check with your parish to see if there are other areas of Church life to which you can contribute your time and talents. Also, until your vocation becomes clearer to you, you should take extra care in your dealings with women–not rejecting their companionship, but making sure that you don’t unintentionally encourage them to sabotage your discernment.

 

[4elise]

… Also, until your vocation becomes clearer to you, you should take extra care in your dealings with women–not rejecting their companionship, but making sure that you don’t unintentionally encourage them to sabotage your discernment.

I think this is an excellent recommendation -

 

[TonyLayne]

I think this is an excellent recommendation -

Thanks. It’s one of those many points of wisdom born of 20/20 hindsight. Who was it who said, “Making good decisions comes from experience; experience comes from making bad decisions”?

BTW, are you a Beethoven aficionado?

 

[4elise]

BTW, are you a Beethoven aficionado?

how did you guess?

 

[AntoniusVII]

Hi,

I see you are in Grand Rapids. Call the office of Priestly Vocations for the Diocese of Grand Rapids.

It may be possible to take the bus downtown. The grayhound bus terminal is about a 5 minute walk from the St. Andrew’s Cathedral and the diocese offices. (It looks like 7 blocks on google maps.)

grpriests.org/
Read every page on this web site, then call for an appointment. Make it your Lenten/Easter promise to Jesus to make that phone call.