Everything is Unfulfilling

[Trident_H]

Ok, I calmed down a bit

I think a lot of…this…stems from some serious psychological issues that have been built up.

The reason I’ve been so worked up about marriage is that a girl I loved knocked my heart out, let it drop, and trampled it into the muddy earth: I was studying to be Chemical Engineering, and even though I wasn’t too obsessed with the occupation, I wanted to provide a comfort life for her, which served as my motivation. After she left me though, I lost all my will to live, and basically have been drifting ever since.

Luckily, I encountered Chesterton, who reminded me of the awe I’d forgotten. Studying St. Thomas opened my intellect. However, until I find a real motive to live, a goal, I’m stuck in a hedonistic lifestyle of sex and meal, wallowing in this mud of broken dreams…

Of course, this isn’t easy, because there are pressures from my parents and society and even the Church. I’m also natural indecisive, and, as you might have noticed before, I’m worried that I might become bored.

I’m very sorry for my behavior: it was rude and malicious.

Christi pax,

Lucretius

So glad to hear you’re onto the next step of coping. Sorry for you loss though. Girls and trouble hey?

And sorry I got a bit pushy. I just didn’t want you sliding too far. The last buddy I had who went on a rant like that made his last decision permanent. So I maybe overreact a bit when I see those kind of lines.

Peace Lucretius. Glad you’re still trying. Just keep going. We’re here for you if you need to rant again.

-Trident

 

[Lucretius]

So glad to hear you’re onto the next step of coping. Sorry for you loss though. Girls and trouble hey?

And sorry I got a bit pushy. I just didn’t want you sliding too far. The last buddy I had who went on a rant like that made his last decision permanent. So I maybe overreact a bit when I see those kind of lines.

Peace Lucretius. Glad you’re still trying. Just keep going. We’re here for you if you need to rant again.

-Trident

I don’t blame you though.

The major problem is that this girl broke up with me two years ago, and I still haven’t been able to deal with it.

Christi pax,

Lucretius

 

[Trident_H]

I don’t blame you though.

The major problem is that this girl broke up with me two years ago, and I still haven’t been able to deal with it.

Christi pax,

Lucretius

Ouch. She must have been something for it to last this long. So sorry for that. I hope you can find someone better. Maybe when your studies are almost over?

 

[Lucretius]

Ouch. She must have been something for it to last this long. So sorry for that. I hope you can find someone better. Maybe when your studies are almost over?

I dropped out of Chemical engineering after that. I’ve been lost since. I have trouble focusing now, and don’t really know what I want to study anymore.

If I had something to look forward to, I think a lot of my problems will fade away.

And yes, she was wooonnnddderful

And thank you!

Christi pax,

Lucretius

 

[LethalMouse]

The question here is if anyone does things as God says, would they be so sucky? It is so rare to see a good marriage I rarely talk abiut it in that light, but it does happen.

Other vications? I have met some old priests that seem like “wellllllll this is my life du dumo du dump…”

And some who are ancient and full of life and seem like a young seminarian just soooo excited to be answering God’s call.

It is perspective. You see marriages as a trap becsuse the examples you site are of people who failed to fully answer the call. And one cannot discern what something is by a half A version of it.

If I were a mascot and came on a field and frumpily went: “oh yay… . Like maybe we will win” would you judge that all mascots are dull and pointless? Or am I personally just a really bad one?

Looking at marriage, if two people share a love for eachother (especially when chemically lacking) the way Christ loved… how could they be together in a trap? The answer is they couldn’t.

I would submit the following:

People fail, vocations do not.

 

[LethalMouse]

I don’t blame you though.

The major problem is that this girl broke up with me two years ago, and I still haven’t been able to deal with it.

Christi pax,

Lucretius

Science says it is 6 -24 month avg for healing heartbreak. My last one the first week or 2 I felt it physically, I got lucky and found out much about her to make me realize I hadn’t lost what I thought I had, but if not I would probably still be reeling. It takes time and since you are at the far end, maybe talking to a pro.

Also, I find as a friend said; the best place to get over a woman is with another woman.

 

[Vivian42]

The best way out of your dark is to become a help to someone else. You want to see grace? It’s not gonna get dropped on you. You’ve got to go out and earn some. Go volunteer somewhere. Go play chess with some old guy in a nursing home. Any old guy will do. I’m telling you it’s a way to lift yourself out of your own self-concentration. It’s a way to free yourself from this despair.

Because the world’s not all about you. It’s not all about serving you up with some nice and easy feeling.

It’s about what you can do for others now. It’s about making your life matter and count. Just to one other person maybe. Just one at a time.

I don’t know man. You just have to stop looking at your shoe laces. Look up at the horizon. Reach out to someone in need. And feel your chains fall off.

Peace Lucretius. I love you man.

-Trident.

And then there are the people that dedicate their lives to helping others…and end up dead at the hands of a cruel murderer.

You just can’t win…

 

[Vivian42]

The world’s not an easy place. I know that. But you need to give yourself some credit here. I mean it’s like a hero riding off into the sunset after having done a day of good, but being miserable because he’s thinking of how much weight he’s putting on his horse. You’ve got to cut yourself some slack and realize we don’t always do things as perfect angels. But the fact that you care at all is the sign that you’re not anywhere near as bad as you think. A guy with no heart at all would rejoice in the darkness of his shadow. But you’re torn up about it. So that’s a good sign.

.

-Trident

Oh God, angels …

Here I come with my own personal frustration , maybe you’re willing to help me a little bit too : I think I’m starting to despise them. As crazy as this sounds, I’m telling the truth. Why should we die ? Why don’t demons die? They’re the worst sinners in the Universe if we are to take after what the Bible says. I think death is the worst punishment that a being can get. Most of us are separated from God here and such feel no grace / divine love or whatever. So…this is like a mini Hell.
I also don’t fancy the idea of holy angels being immortal either.

No wonder being called a “mortal” is an insult…

 

[Lucretius]

Oh God, angels …

Here I come with my own personal frustration , maybe you’re willing to help me a little bit too : I think I’m starting to despise them. As crazy as this sounds, I’m telling the truth. Why should we die ? Why don’t demons die? They’re the worst sinners in the Universe if we are to take after what the Bible says. I think death is the worst punishment that a being can get. Most of us are separated from God here and such feel no grace / divine love or whatever. So…this is like a mini Hell.
I also don’t fancy the idea of holy angels being immortal either.

There is spiritual death and physical death. Which one are you referring to? The Angels can’t physically die because they aren’t physical. However, they can spiritually die, which is exactly what a demon is: a spiritual dead angel.

Humans can both physically and spiritually die.

And you understand me well, describing this world as a hell before Hell.

No wonder being called a “mortal” is an insult…

J. R. R. Tolkien didn’t think so…

Christi pax,

Lucretius

 

[Trident_H]

And then there are the people that dedicate their lives to helping others…and end up dead at the hands of a cruel murderer.

You just can’t win…

I bet you’re fun at parties.

 

[Trident_H]

Oh God, angels …

Here I come with my own personal frustration , maybe you’re willing to help me a little bit too : I think I’m starting to despise them. As crazy as this sounds, I’m telling the truth. Why should we die ? Why don’t demons die? They’re the worst sinners in the Universe if we are to take after what the Bible says. I think death is the worst punishment that a being can get. Most of us are separated from God here and such feel no grace / divine love or whatever. So…this is like a mini Hell.
I also don’t fancy the idea of holy angels being immortal either.

No wonder being called a “mortal” is an insult…

It’s funny. Because I wasn’t even thinking of those kind of angels. I was thinking of the innocent idea of being perfectly good. Which I guess angels are supposed to be.

Still. You’ve got the idea of death as somehow being bad instead of seeing it as part of the package. So if demons were always dying it would make their nastiness pointless. And if people lived forever it would make earth more of a permanent hell. Instead of just a mini one.

But Viv. I still think you’re digging in the right direction. Even if the hole’s getting a bit too deep.

 

[Vivian42]

I bet you’re fun at parties.

Way to use dumb memes in a serious discussion.

Well… maybe I should be more indifferent and relaxed. But I can’t. Sorry

 

[Vivian42]

It’s funny. Because I wasn’t even thinking of those kind of angels. I was thinking of the innocent idea of being perfectly good. Which I guess angels are supposed to be.

Still. You’ve got the idea of death as somehow being bad instead of seeing it as part of the package. So if demons were always dying it would make their nastiness pointless. And if people lived forever it would make earth more of a permanent hell. Instead of just a mini one.

But Viv. I still think you’re digging in the right direction. Even if the hole’s getting a bit too deep.

It’s also funny that I’m 15 and I keep thinking of things like these. I’m the perfect pessimist. You can throw at me anything positive and I’ll find for you, my dear, a disadvantage. Sucks to be me .

I think they’re pointless now too. They can all go to Hell - literally. I hate the fact that they’re intellectually superior , are much more sinful AND STILL get the advantage of being truly immortal. It’s like God prefers them over us - which wouldn’t be not understandable , but still stings.

I still want to live a lot more with my little weak human body. I like it and it’s mine. The world is fascinating and it hurts so much to feel like any day could be the last and the end of the journey

 

[Trident_H]

Way to use dumb memes in a serious discussion.

Well… maybe I should be more indifferent and relaxed. But I can’t. Sorry

Were you being serious? Giving my try at helping such a bleak outlook and dropping the ball right after?

Sometimes I see your posts and wonder what angle you’re tilting your head.

Sometimes I think you seem really hurt about this life of ours. But then other times I remember I’ve been trolled before.

So if you’re sincere then I’m sorry for the misread.

Send me a PM and we can talk.

Peace Viv.

-Trident

 

[Vivian42]

There is spiritual death and physical death. Which one are you referring to? The Angels can’t physically die because they aren’t physical. However, they can spiritually die, which is exactly what a demon is: a spiritual dead angel.

Humans can both physically and spiritually die.

And you understand me well, describing this world as a hell before Hell.

J. R. R. Tolkien didn’t think so…

Christi pax,

Lucretius

Well, I’d love it if they were to die both ways. But they don’t. Those little f-----s.

They cling onto life and just keep making it worse.

 

[Vivian42]

Were you being serious? Giving my try at helping such a bleak outlook and dropping the ball right after?

Sometimes I see your posts and wonder what angle you’re tilting your head.

Sometimes I think you seem really hurt about this life of ours. But then other times I remember I’ve been trolled before.

So if you’re sincere then I’m sorry for the misread.

Send me a PM and we can talk.

Peace Viv.

-Trident

Yeah, sadly I’m serious. This has been taking a toll on me lately. I’ll PM as soon as possible, but right now I gotta sleep. Good night

 

[Trident_H]

It’s also funny that I’m 15 and I keep thinking of things like these. I’m the perfect pessimist. You can throw at me anything positive and I’ll find for you, my dear, a disadvantage. Sucks to be me .

I think they’re pointless now too. They can all go to Hell - literally. I hate the fact that they’re intellectually superior , are much more sinful AND STILL get the advantage of being truly immortal. It’s like God prefers them over us - which wouldn’t be not understandable , but still stings.

I still want to live a lot more with my little weak human body. I like it and it’s mine. The world is fascinating and it hurts so much to feel like any day could be the last and the end of the journey

Ok. I see what you’re saying. The dark patch of 15. I get it. I really do.

Vivian. I want you to know that life and death have to go together. Because without it nothing has any real meaning.

If I’m a nice guy for 1000 years and then become a terror I can still know that in maybe a million years I can go back to being nice. This makes everything meaningless. Death reminds us that everything we’re doing here is temporary. That all our choices are important. Because we don’t have time for a re-do. It’s what makes this life like a test.

I mean it’d be like being given a test in school that you never had to turn in. It’d be useless. So why study? Why work hard at it?

I don’t know if that helps.

 

[Trident_H]

Yeah, sadly I’m serious. This has been taking a toll on me lately. I’ll PM as soon as possible, but right now I gotta sleep. Good night

K I’ll watch for it. Thanks Viv. Night to you too.

 

[jmjZelie]

It’s also funny that I’m 15 and I keep thinking of things like these. I’m the perfect pessimist. You can throw at me anything positive and I’ll find for you, my dear, a disadvantage. Sucks to be me .

I think they’re pointless now too. They can all go to Hell - literally. I hate the fact that they’re intellectually superior , are much more sinful AND STILL get the advantage of being truly immortal. It’s like God prefers them over us - which wouldn’t be not understandable , but still stings.

I still want to live a lot more with my little weak human body. I like it and it’s mine. The world is fascinating and it hurts so much to feel like any day could be the last and the end of the journey

Two things:
Resurrection of the dead is bodily, so this body you are thankful for now will be resurrected and glorified and reunited with your soul.
The Incarnation and the Eucharist are two of the greatest signs that God has chosen us, weak little humans that we are, to draw most intimately into His own blessed life. He became human, not angel. He gives us Himsef to eat so He can live inside us. He does not give the Eucharist to the Angels.

And one more thing:
Repentance. We were created inside of this thing called time, which gives us the opportunity to repent, and to be perfected by the working of the Holy Spirit. Angels did not get the gift of time or repentance.

 

[bardegaulois]

Ok, I calmed down a bit

I think a lot of…this…stems from some serious psychological issues that have been built up.

The reason I’ve been so worked up about marriage is that a girl I loved knocked my heart out, let it drop, and trampled it into the muddy earth: I was studying to be Chemical Engineering, and even though I wasn’t too obsessed with the occupation, I wanted to provide a comfort life for her, which served as my motivation. After she left me though, I lost all my will to live, and basically have been drifting ever since.

Luckily, I encountered Chesterton, who reminded me of the awe I’d forgotten. Studying St. Thomas opened my intellect. However, until I find a real motive to live, a goal, I’m stuck in a hedonistic lifestyle of sex and meal, wallowing in this mud of broken dreams…

Of course, this isn’t easy, because there are pressures from my parents and society and even the Church. I’m also natural indecisive, and, as you might have noticed before, I’m worried that I might become bored.

I’m very sorry for my behavior: it was rude and malicious.

Christi pax,

Lucretius

Lucretius, I know what you’re going through. About five years ago, I too had a wonderful lady leave my life, and I let her slip away. When the full weight of what had happened set in (which had included my passing on further studies for her sake), I sank into a depression that lasted for about two years, compounded by my sense of my own guilt over the matter. It led even to a crisis of identity; I didn’t know who I was any longer, and then I just chose one day to let it all go and stop holding to the shreds and patches of who I thought I was.

Even then the threat of drifting off into the moroseness was still there, but there’s a difference. It’s as though I was rechristened with a new identity, more effective and wiser than the old one I hung onto so dearly. After that decision, much of my past neuroses simply vanished over the course of a year.

I’m not saying that all is perfect; I found out that this woman was engaged just last month, and it felt like a knife went through me, and I had to go out for a ride alone to gather my thoughts. This was the first time thinking about these events had affected in about two years. The difference between now and five years ago was that now I wasn’t castigating myself or adding to my torments as I had then, but instead seeing the finger of grace moving through all of these events and using the opportunity to reconsecrate myself to the Author of that grace–as all else is but a passing fancy. In fact, it even got me thinking more seriously about embracing the monastic life. After two hours, any of the heartache induced by the news had subsided.

I don’t really think that there’s any specific counsel in any of this, Lucretius. I only share my story in order to let you know that you’re not the only one who has been in your situation, and that there’s life–and a lot of it–on the other side. No longer do I look at my past as a huge failure, but as an odd action of grace which, though painful at the time, was quite necessary. I wish you all the best.