Ex Catholic Baptism Question

  • Thread starter Thread starter james_7865
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
BTW I still think the teachings of Jesus are a great way to live your life. As long as you don’t take it too seriously.

There’s a great line in Trading Places. Denholm Elliot is disguised as a priest and he says “Religion is a fine thing my son…taken in moderation.”
 
james_7865 said:
Thanks joanofarc. Yeah I feel like I’ve been there done it and got the t-shirt. 13 years of Catholic school. 20+ years of church going. I know what Baptism means to Catholics.

I just want the truth.
Click to expand...
The truth is that you will be promising to raise your child in the Church during the baptism. I think you will have a hard time finding a priest that will be OK celebrating the Sacrament knowing that you will not be raising the children Catholic while promising to do so in the Sacrament. It puts him in a rough position :confused: So for nothing else but that reason it is unfair. Since you do have respect for the teachings of Christ why not allow your mother who does believe to present those teachings and then let your children make this decision when they are old enough and then the Sacrament will mean more to everyone involved rather than having a Sacrament that right now is more superficial IMO (no offense intended.)
 
james_7865 said:
Firstly thanks NickVa for showing some compassion. Secondly do you realise how crazy some of you people sound. I thought following Jesus was supposed to be about compassion and understanding.
Click to expand...
It is. This is exactly what you are denying your children, by removing them from the Church. Where will they go when they are in trouble and you are not there? Social Services? Red-tape run-around - and if you think you’ve been “judged” here, just wait 'til Social Services gets hold of you in an emergency situation - you’ll wish you were back with these guys. The bank? Not unless they are “valued customers” (ie: millionaires). The Church is the only institution that takes the whole person into account when problems occur - and also helps people avoid problems in the first place, by teaching them strict values - including the real meaning of Baptism (to live the Christian life; not just to have a party that you are way too young to remember, anyway.)
 
james_7865 said:
Firstly thanks NickVa for showing some compassion. Secondly do you realise how crazy some of you people sound. I thought following Jesus was supposed to be about compassion and understanding. You sound like a bunch of crackpots.

I actually have no belief in any supernatural phenomena any more. I did a lot of reading including The God Delusion and various other texts. In my opinion, there really is no argument. I suggest some of you people become a bit more open minded and do the same.

The only thing I would say is that a religious upbringing offers children some sort of moral framework to their lives. So what if they believe in God until they are ten or twelve, it’s a bit like Santa Claus. But judging by some of the crazy comments on here, I think my wife and I may take our chances. We are doing ok so far without instilling a ‘fear of God’ into our beautiful loving and outgoing kids.

Peace.

What was it Jesus said again? ‘Judge not lest ye be judged yourself’. Wise words.
Click to expand...
James I notice you put quotes around an instilling "fear of God’. . I have read carefully back through and nowhere, but nowhere, did I ever see the phrase or the implication that we were to FEAR God or wanted you to instill this in yourself or others.

So . . .and I hope I’m expressing this delicately. . .if you can get the impression from reading that ‘fear of God’ was what was being said by ‘crackpot’ posters (um, thanks but no thanks, don’t like labels). . .but the phrase was never used or even implied. . .

could it be just possible that you might have read and made similar, shall we say, ‘impressions’ that weren’t as accurate as they could be, about the Catholic faith?

OK, you’ve done some reading and you’re open minded enough to check out the books others have recommended. I think if you’re smart enough to have waded through the books you mention (with which many of us are indeed quite familiar. . .it’s not as though WE never wondered or checked things out for ourselves, especially those of us of your mom’s age, for example), that you’re also smart enough to consider not exactly going back but going forward. Because if you’re like the majority of us good old human beings, what you reject and what you embrace aren’t always what you think they are. . .and sometimes when you rethink a concept, you realize that what you thought you knew. . .had more to it than you knew. God bless.
 
Hmm to be honest, I have never really had to turn to anyone in the church for support. In my experience, I haven’t found priests very approachable. I find most religious authority figures to be a bit strange.
 
Tantum_ergo said:
James I notice you put quotes around an instilling "fear of God’. . I have read carefully back through and nowhere, but nowhere, did I ever see the phrase or the implication that we were to FEAR God or wanted you to instill this in yourself or others.
Click to expand...
Exactly - this is just plain old stereotyping.
 
james_7865 said:
Hmm to be honest, I have never really had to turn to anyone in the church for support. In my experience, I haven’t found priests very approachable. I find most religious authority figures to be a bit strange.
Click to expand...
So, why do you want your children to be members, then (but then, not allow them to have any contact with it)? 🤷

Baptism is membership in the Catholic Church. Membership means that we act as if we are members, by following the rules.
 
james_7865 said:
Hmm to be honest, I have never really had to turn to anyone in the church for support. In my experience, I haven’t found priests very approachable. I find most religious authority figures to be a bit strange.
Click to expand...
I am sorry you have had this experience. I guess I have been very lucky. If you are interested all I can say is keep looking. Often times a singular priest can be overwhelmed. Sometimes getting involved can make one more a part of things and make these priests more approachable and more human. Just some random thoughts - I hope you do not find me offensive or intrusive.
 
james_7865 said:
The only thing I would say is that a religious upbringing offers children some sort of moral framework to their lives. .
Click to expand...
forgive us for misunderstanding, since you seem to state you have no intention of giving your child a religious upbringing. I can think of nothing more horrible for a parent to do than to teach a child, or send him to CCD where he will be taught, religion for 12 years, then tell him cynically that you don’t believe any of it. That is playing a terrible mind game with the child.

Baptism is not just a social event, you are binding him to promises that are going to affect his whole life, not least the Catholic laws on marriage. That is harsh when you don’t believe in them, do not abide by them, and will teach him to flout them.

My objection is not about your own lack of faith but on what this play-acting will do to the child and to your relationship with him especially as he reaches his teens.

If you were a cradle Buddhist who no longer believed and yet planned to somehow initiate your child into that belief, and then tell him as a teen that it was all a joke to you, I would have the same objection, on the same basis.

and just a general reminder on how the forum works
you ask a question
we answer to the best of our ability, knowledge and experience
if you don’t want an answer, please don’t ask it’s that simple
 
As stated: baptism under these circumstances is a significant problem.

I promise to reconsider my ‘fear of God’ if you promise to analyze your fear of your mother. (The one who will be so mad at non baptism you’d be willing to throw a feigned religious bone to appease her.)
 
If Catholics are crackpots why would you want a priest to baptize your baby? Praying for you. God bless
 
james_7865 said:
Hey there.

Tbh, I have pretty much stopped believing, however, we would like to still have our son baptised…

Thank you.
Click to expand...
Maybe you are using the wrong choice of words…do you equate “stopped believing” with Stopped practicing? If you no longer believe, then why do you want to have your child baptized?..you must believe something?.. I think a future marriage is a little far off to be assuming your child will marry a Catholic. Why Catholic and not another Christian faith?..just curious.:confused:
 
Firstly thanks NickVa for showing some compassion. Secondly do you realise how crazy some of you people sound. I thought following Jesus was supposed to be about compassion and understanding. You sound like a bunch of crackpots.
Click to expand...
I’m sorry, was this a (lame) attempt at throwing the ball in our court to justify what you said?

We are truely concerned by your OP, if not for you then for your baby. That’s all. Why start a thread in CAF if you’re not going to take heed? 🤷

Praying for you sincerely. 😦
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top