Ex getting married, help

[noclevername]

This might sound cold but I am goign to say this anyway. It is apparent you still care deeply for your ex and you haven’t gotten over him. You might never get over him. But he is gone, you are divorced and you have to accept that fact. Therefore, what he does is really none of your business anymore. If he gets married without an annullment, if doesn’t affect you in the slightest. And as for your kids attending the wedding; they are all adults and if they want to attend, they can. They understand what is going on and they know the consequences and they are adults so they need to make that decision.

I reallly think you should stay out of it.

 

[rpp]

This might sound cold but I am goign to say this anyway. It is apparent you still care deeply for your ex and you haven’t gotten over him. You might never get over him. But he is gone, you are divorced and you have to accept that fact. Therefore, what he does is really none of your business anymore. If he gets married without an annullment, if doesn’t affect you in the slightest. And as for your kids attending the wedding; they are all adults and if they want to attend, they can. They understand what is going on and they know the consequences and they are adults so they need to make that decision.

I reallly think you should stay out of it.

While there is some wisdom in this post, I am afraid I must disagree with the conclusion. Ezekiel 3:17-21 answers the question posed by Cain when the Lord asked where Abel was. We are indeed our brother’s keeper. By all means talk to his priest and let him know about this invalid and adulterous marriage. For the sake of the your ex-husband’s immortal soul, he should not receive Holy Communion should he marry outside of the Church.

At the same time, I would encourage you to consider petitioning for an annulment. A declaration of nullity applies equally to both you and your ex-husband. By petitioning for an annulment, at least you can help keep him from grave sin.

May God grant you His peace.

 

[IrishAm]

I live your life (seriously, anyone reading this would think so many of the details were lifted from my life – except for the number of children – even our ages are the same) and my advise would be, simply, “stay out of it, dear friend.”

No matter how hard it is (and it is), “stay out of it, dear friend.”

Not for his sake, not for your children’s sake, not for your mother’s sake, but for yours. As long as you allow youself to be sucked into the drama, the hurt will continue to eat at you. I had to keep telling myself over and over again that none of this was about “him” or “her;” this pain was all about how Satan was attacking me and my soul. And I had to protect my soul.

Be open with your children about your beliefs and then let it end. If they ask what you think, tell them calmly and honestly. And then step away . . . Leave the relationship between God and your ex-spouse to God and your ex-spouse.

You are in my prayers . . .

 

[Nanny_PK]

I have to disagree here. Even though they may be civilly divorced, they are still married in God’s eyes. And what I’ve been taught is that it is a spouse’s primary duty to do the best they can to get their spouse into heaven. In this case it would mean trying to prevent him committing a mortal sin.

I agree with you wholeheartedly theoretically; however, the reality of the situation is that the OP has no control over what her ex chooses to do. She’s tried talking to him, he yells at her and hangs up the phone; his children try talking to them, and he tries to blackmail them into accepting his decisions; his family tries talking to him, he won’t listen. So really the OP has absolutely no control over the situation. Besides praying for him, I don’t see anything else the OP can do. The ex will ultimately be answerable to God for his choices and decisions.