*Just as an aside…you need to really stand up for yourself when it comes to your mom. She does nothing but degrade you, from the posts I’ve read. Yes, we are to honor our parents, but that doesn’t mean accepting constant put downs. If she wants to fork over some money so you can pay your bills every month, great. But, if not, she needs to mind her own business. You’re a single mom, doing her best with little or not help from her. She needs to either be helpful, or she needs to stop interfering, and I’d tell her that. Enough. She does nothing to help you, but feels the need to offer you belittlement every time you turn around. Start taking control of your life…bit by bit.
They have helped me before and it gets thrown in my face…ALL THE TIME! WHen they were here that’s all I heard about…How she sends me things for the kids during their bdays and Christmas time and Easter and Valentines Day and Halloween, and etc etc etc…I was like I thought those were gifts? UGH! SHe has helped me a year ago, and then for the kids’ First Communion this past April, so again, it gets thrown in my face what an ungrateful child I am etc…I can’t tell her off or tell her to leave me alone…Then she tells me what an ungrateful child I am even more… Not only that but the last time I spoke to them my dad stopped talking to me for months… Then he said " I forgive you for not knowing what you did! We know all you do is make mistakes but you need to grow up someday!" And then I get to hear it from my mother “One day you will be sorry for all you have done to us!” It’s like uhm, what wanting to live? I don’t understand… I am not perfect I will never be but to them my sister whom tells her off whenever she feels like it is… I don’t disrespect my parents… But I can’t talk to them because all they tell me “after all the help we have given you!!” It’s like I am disgracing them… It’s really frustrating… I don’t like being called fat nor reminded of all my mistakes over and over…I all ready have to live with them and my own obesity…As if I want to be like this?!*
**1) Stand up to your mom
2) Don’t allow your ex to hurt or manipulate you anymore
Trying not to…But he’s gotten away with everything…All the time…**
- Give a timeline to your current bf, finding a job needs to be at the top of his priority list
Yes working on that, thanks…
You feel the way you do because you feel you have no control. You have all the control. Trust in God. But, don’t keep relying on people to change…love those around you, but get on with living your own life, and be happy. Your ex is not going to change, your mom is not going to change…your bf could change…only you can change HOW YOU REACT. Start telling people the way it is. If you must speak to your ex…I’d say…YOU WILL PAY ME CHILD SUPPORT. To your mom…YOU WILL STOP BELITTLING ME, AND MAKING ME FEEL BAD. Don’t let people hurt you. I know the situations hurt, but you can’t change people, only how you cope and react to them. Once your mom gets the idea that you’re done accepting her verbal abuse, she will back down, trust me. She doesn’t back down, because you don’t tell her to. I had this with my sister–always butting in, but never helping me. I said one day…do you pay my bills? She said no, I said then don’t tell me how to run my household. We didn’t talk for a while. Hey, standing up for yourself has some backlash, but over time, my sister learned to respect me. Praying for you :hug1:
I feel this way because I am going through a lot of problems…My health isn’t doing so well…Just went to court for another person doing me wrong, my son’s ADD not going so well…my family is not leaving me alone, Children rebelling-especially my daughter, exhusband doing this and threatening and ****, and bf unable to find a job…AND I have to work extra to make ends meet…This is why I am feeling this way…And like I said I have spoken like this to my parents but it has backfired…and things didn’t go well…My father even almost struck me from telling them to stop treating me like a child…
I say all of this with charity, I hope you know.
I used to tolerate it too…until one day, I told my sister that I had had enough. You don’t need to tell your parents off…but I would establish healthy boundaries. When your mom starts flying with insults, over the phone, I’d say…have to go, mom…kids need me. Over and over and over. I would not sit around listening to how messed up I am. 