Ex-Mormons - Any weird hangups now that you're Catholic?

[TheExorcist]

The stories on exmormon.org that completely break my heart are those who have no belief in the church at all, but go every Sunday anyway for fear of losing their families, jobs, and social support system. When I was leaving the church, I spent a ton of time there, sharing stories and listening to pain inflicted by the church.

Yes, that’s EXACTLY my situation. I attempted to leave once and that turned out BAD. Luckily I have a calling now that doesnt involve teaching so Im not responsible for spreading lies and falsehoods. I’m ward chorister.

 

[tundramom]

“blown about by every wave of doctrine” was completely my journey.

I was never a TBM. I wanted to be, I tried to be, but I never felt that conviction or “burning” that I desired and everyone else around me seemed to be having.

There were times in my life where I felt “something”, but by the Grace of our Loving God, I attributed it to music. I have always been surrounded by music, specifically well written choral music, which is almost always godly. I sang/heard the words to so many beautiful pieces which really began my questioning early in my life. The words I was singing didn’t “gel” with the theology I learned in Mormonism and I wanted to know why.

Feelings are always fleeting. I don’t trust my own! Without the hand of a God in my life, I could have remained blinded. I didn’t really trust anything anyone told me ever. It wasn’t until I searched the scriptures that I started seeing it for myself. The more I delved into it, the more Catholic I became.

That all being said, I still question thoughts and feelings I have. I usually end up being a big weeping mess when I get one of those “a-ha” moments. That happened to me this past Sunday during our Bible study (Jeff Cavins) and then it ended up being First Communion and I bawled through half the Mass there too. I used to try to hold it all in because I do live in Minnesota and am surrounded by people who are very even tempered. Now I just let it happen and figure it’s a gift.

Rambling is my forte’ by the way. LOL
Steph

 

[tundramom]

Yes, that’s EXACTLY my situation. I attempted to leave once and that turned out BAD. Luckily I have a calling now that doesnt involve teaching so Im not responsible for spreading lies and falsehoods. I’m ward chorister.

Hey Exorcist… read my post. As Ward chorister, you could do some good!

 

[Marie5890]

Yes, that’s EXACTLY my situation. I attempted to leave once and that turned out BAD. Luckily I have a calling now that doesnt involve teaching so Im not responsible for spreading lies and falsehoods. I’m ward chorister.

TE, you are in my prayers…I (we, Stavros) and I know how painful it is. Sounds like we all have journeyed over to exmormon.org That website is a double edge sword. It’s helpful in that others understand what it’s like when the denial wears off and the fraud rears it’s ugly head. It’s not so helpful in other respects…

Feel free to PM me anytime…

It’s a tough and terrible spot to be in, I know.

God Bless.

 

[KathleenGee]

I didn’t know much about Mormonism.

I ended up working with a professional; we served low income people on the side of regular work. I ended up meeting more of his associates who were into business. I liked them and we talked a little about our faith, finding common ground. I had the distinct impression talking with them that they had been taught things about Catholicism that made us erroneous. They were surprised we could share some common insights.

Then you know my story visiting an LDS bookstore. I wanted to know more as the company moved out of state. Reading the texts, I sensed immediate and intense spiritual light, that was riveting…but the message, especially the one about the abomination, etc., I also knew it was working out of a false spirit. It frightened me and shook me up.

I went online and met a Catholic man who was debating Mormonism with a particular fellow. He asked my prayers, and also told me it was very hard for people to leave Mormonism. I later came to that ex Mormon site, reading all the different posts…I was trying to be objective. It was heartbreaking, and as already spoken here by other former Mormons, many could no longer believe in God or religion. I emailed someone in my state, and he answered, but came across very hardened and secular.

So I cannot compromise my faith and pretend everything is nice about Mormonism. The people are, but I hear differently from those living in Utah or heavily populated areas…some spoke to me of how it was like living in Idaho.

I also picked up by the Mormon business people that they were inclined to believing in conspiracy theories. Their kind behavior put them on good ground, but how they perceived some things didn’t always seem right either.

If people are really suffering by poor leadership within Mormonism, but can’t do anything about it, again it is pointing to those who hold power and control within its religion, this the real area of issues within Mormonism. It is the leadership.

 

[Marie5890]

If people are really suffering by poor leadership within Mormonism, but can’t do anything about it, again it is pointing to those who hold power and control within its religion, this the real area of issues within Mormonism. It is the leadership.

Still, that is too simplistic of an answer. No offense.

It’s a whole way of thinking. It’s leadership are as much victims of over 150 years as anyone. Most leaders are as TBM as anyone, though I do expect there are some GA’s who know better. But others, hard core TBMs. To the very sinews and bone marrow.

Denial is a very powerful human survival impulse

 

[KathleenGee]

Concur, Marie…was thinking about that afterwards…

There is the culture of having young missionaries…but the strongest and most adamant of Mormonism…are they usually born from several generations of Mormon families?

I watch the Mormon station atleast once a week, and my basic impression is the sense of being insular…

And Stavros, you hit on another point about Mormons possibly leaving their jobs…and this part again is pointing back to the issue I have regarding its leadership…causing someone to lose his job because he wants to leave the church…is that systematic, a practice?

One book I am finally getting through is John Paul II’s ‘Threshold of Hope’…it is very healing and Spirit-filled and should be a great help to all here as well.

 

[Stavros]

You guys would be so proud of me - I actually had a real conversation with Fr. Scary today! Turns out, not so scary apparently. He’s actually a really nice guy. I’m working through a huge change in my life today, and have a massive case of the jitters. So I caught him after Morning mass and we just walked around the building and talked. It worked out well.

 

[KathleenGee]

Stavros…

Praise God!!! I am keeping you, the Mormons…and now more particularly so, the ex Mormons without any God or church…

I pray you will find in your priest a brother in Christ…he sounds like a real dear and I bet he knows you have been struggling to get over things…I wouldn’t be surprised if he was keeping you in his prayers…

Keep us informed…so happy for you !

 

[zipperc98]

I am really happy to have found this thread! I just came onto this website to post my post-Easter Vigil experiences.

I suppose the same can be true for all new Catholics. But of course, having come from being LDS for 12 years, it seems those who understand better than anyone are those who were once LDS.

I do have to share: 1 day after my being received into the Catholic church, the Bishopric composed the “come to a disciplinary council” letter, which was delivered to me that day after that (so the day after Easter Sunday). Two days after that I composed my “I will not attend your council, please remove my records from the church” letter, and just this weekend I received my “Your records have been removed” letter from SLC. Not even a month after! Wow. I am glad I can receive closure. But I have to admit I’m feeling quite sad about all this. I think mostly it’s the seclusion, in some ways, that I feel. Certainly I’m not being shunned, but all people from my old ward don’t even talk to me, except two of my close friends. My husband of course is still struggling with all this. I still do not know what will happen between us. But for now we are testing the waters.

Quite honestly, I feel alone in general. I have been relying on friends too much for a while, and now I’m sort of floundering by myself. I realize God is there for me, and I am continually reminding myself of that, trying to stay close to the Lord. I think there is so much DIFFERENT in this conversion from what I experienced 12 years ago becoming LDS.

Not sure if that is wierd hang ups. I think it will be hard on some levels for a while for me. Mostly because I’m still adjusting. Because, especially on social levels, I was SO used to the LDS church and the methods. It’s a good thing, yet a not so good thing. I love that it is all MY decision what my involvement is. What i mean is, nobody is telling me what I am supposed to be doing. Just me and God. And yet, there isn’t quite a strong level of fellowship. There is such a wide variety of involvements in my parish. Of course, being LDS, everyone knowing you is how it works. In some ways I think it is what is so appealing to people. The social aspects. However, my relationship with God has become a VERY personal thing, which was never something I experienced being LDS. So, if that makes sense, it’s both good and bad.

Anyway, I had to give my 2 cents. I will now go and read what everyone else has to say! God Bless!

 

[zipperc98]

Stavros! Wow, ok, starting reading more of this thread! You are speaking my language!

Quite honestly, since I am new to the Faith, I still have not attending Confession. As much as I tell myself I am going to enjoy it, I am a bit fearful on some level! I wonder if I will hit these same issues!

And part of why I am glad I am no longer LDS involves much of what you have said: The biggest being the CONSTANT guilt that you are doing something wrong! Like you I have always felt I have never been good enough! It became even MORE pronounced when I had my daughter. I had assumed motherhood was going to make me feel more purpose than anything in my life. It was then that my world, in some ways, came crumbling down. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter. Parenthood is challenging! But this sense of purpose I expected never came! Instead it was more guilt!

Like you, guilt that I didn’t do enough, that I didn’t do my VT, that I didn’t pay tithing, that I didn’t have a temple recommend, that I hadn’t done temple work for deceased family members…and never mind the parenting struggles I had! It’s no joke to me that there is a reason that UT has one of the highest rates in Anti-depressants among women! I am not in UT, but there seems to be a whole lot of pressure on women to be perfect! Of course, LDS people I talk to will tell me that’s not true, that the guilt is brought on only by myself. Yada yada yada. Perhaps, but there is a source!

Ok, I really will keep reading!

 

[tundramom]

zipper!!!
Welcome home! If you’d like to PM me, we can talk some more about our experiences.

It’s been a long time since I was a Mormon, but for me, my whole family relationships changed. It’s awesome that your name was removed without much fuss. Mine and my daughter’s are still on the roles… but I don’t mind it now because when the Missionaries come to my door I get to tell them my conversion story. I don’t have visiting teachers anymore, but once in awhile some of the ward members stop by.

Your experiences will be very different than when you were LDS, but Jesus is worth it! He really is closer than a brother. I’ve been in the same parish for 10+ years and with all the different ministries you can be involved in, you will find your place!

When I was new to the parish I saw a notice in the bulletin for someone to clean the church. I responded to it, got to talk with the Priest about it, and started doing it. Then I got a paycheck… I thought I was volunteering! I told my Priest that if I’d only known I would get a paycheck I would have become a Catholic sooner. LOL Just kidding!

Steph

 

[KathleenGee]

Tundra and Zipper…am including you in prayers…

Finding just one friend in faith will really help in socially establishing yourself…or joining a heart to heart, open fellowship, may be a Bible group…

Stavros has done alot of sharing and really coming out…confession is a sacrament many of us Catholics don’t necessarily enjoying doing either…I still get scared right before I go in because I become transparent, vulnerable, exposed in my sinfulness. But when I begin to receive absolution, then the presence of Christ Himself comes to me, and when I walk out of the church, I feel not only restored to Christ in a better way, but connected to all of life around me.

I asked a priest one time how he views us coming in…he told me when they hear confession, they are most aware of their own sins more than anything. And alot of priests get more personal fulfillment in confessions and funerals because they always involve someone’s conversion…either the penitent…or at a funeral, a loved one’s passing to bring someone either into the Church or to return.

The priests are concerned witnessing marriages because they wonder how deep the couple’s faith is to stay married and have a Christ centered marriage.

Does it help to keep in touch with former Mormon associates…light, friendly contact to keep in touch and help in need if anything should come up in the future? When emotions settle, I have found when I had several changes in direction, it always helps to keep in touch with people from your past. Just wondering…

God bless you all!

 

[Stavros]

I do have to share: 1 day after my being received into the Catholic church, the Bishopric composed the “come to a disciplinary council” letter, which was delivered to me that day after that (so the day after Easter Sunday). Two days after that I composed my “I will not attend your council, please remove my records from the church” letter, and just this weekend I received my “Your records have been removed” letter from SLC. Not even a month after! Wow. I am glad I can receive closure. But I have to admit I’m feeling quite sad about all this…

I still haven’t had the nerve to send in My Letter, even though my mother has left the church herself (no lettter from her either). Maybe I’ll do that soon, to give myself that closure.

I think mostly it’s the seclusion, in some ways, that I feel. Certainly I’m not being shunned, but all people from my old ward don’t even talk to me, except two of my close friends. … Quite honestly, I feel alone in general. I have been relying on friends too much for a while, and now I’m sort of floundering by myself.

I find myself doing this constantly. I worry that I depend too much on people, but then I also have this painful isolation. I don’t know which I should try to fight, the fear of imposing on people, or the fear of desparate lonliness.

Because, especially on social levels, I was SO used to the LDS church and the methods. It’s a good thing, yet a not so good thing. I love that it is all MY decision what my involvement is. What i mean is, nobody is telling me what I am supposed to be doing. Just me and God. And yet, there isn’t quite a strong level of fellowship. There is such a wide variety of involvements in my parish. Of course, being LDS, everyone knowing you is how it works. In some ways I think it is what is so appealing to people. The social aspects.

Absolutely it is. I was talking to Fr. Scary earlier this week, and he said that I needed to stop trying so hard and to just “be”. But it’s so hard - I don’t know how to be a part of a community without having a “calling” of some sort. I don’t know how to “feel” like I’m doing what I am supposed to be doing without working as hard as I can.

What I hope eventually is to find my calling in Carmelite spirituality, where my self-imposed “calling” is praying for the church, for the priests and for the redemption of souls. Still working on it, but that would be so amazing to be able to feel like I can do that and that I’m doing what I am supposed to be doing.

 

[Stavros]

Quite honestly, since I am new to the Faith, I still have not attending Confession. As much as I tell myself I am going to enjoy it, I am a bit fearful on some level! I wonder if I will hit these same issues!

Listen to this homily, from Audio Sancto. I can promise you that you will not be afraid of confession after hearing this. I listen to it when I start to get nervous about confessions.

The Sacrament of Penance (Part 1)

The line “this is what Father became a priest to do” gets me every time.

 

[RebeccaJ]

I help out with our RCIA, here, in SLC. About half of our catechumens come from LDS backgrounds.

One of the things we discussed recently is the year of mystagogy. In the US, the USCCB recommends giving neophytes that first year to settle in, deepen their conversions, learn how to be Catholic. In their recommendations, they recommend for the first year the neophyte does not participate in parish ministries.

For us, with so many coming from LDS backgrounds (a few hundred in the diocese), and the expectation that participating in ministries (callings for LDS) is an immediate thing, we don’t discourage participation in ministries. We encourage it, and I think it helps with the transition into the Catholic Church.

I went through that period of loneliness, before I was baptized, and sometimes I still feel it. I am the only Catholic in my entire family, extended family or extended-extended family. I go to Mass alone. Most of the time I sit with or near friends.

One time a Catholic mentor pointed out to me that no one is a Christian alone. It just isn’t possible. Being an introvert, it is something I needed to hear because I am content to do things alone. Oh, and recently the same mentor pointed out that contentment is a vice. sigh

Learning how to be a Catholic takes time. There is a one of the letters of St Paul to pagan converts (I’ll see if I can find where exactly), where, he comments on them turning to their old pagan ways in times of stress or hardship. People look for what is comfortable to them. He encourages them to stay strong in Jesus Christ.

I think most converts feel that pull at times. It is natural and normal. Over the years I have not been LDS (decades), Mormon “stuff” pops up at the strangest times. I’ll be cleaning the house and start humming “Abide In Me”…which remains my only favorite Mormon hymn.

It is OK. Turn these things to Jesus Christ. That is how the Catholic Church has always evangelized non-Christians and non-Christian cultures. Christianizing all things. Turn everything towards Him. Give everything to Jesus.

Peace.

 

[SteveVH]

I help out with our RCIA, here, in SLC. About half of our catechumens come from LDS backgrounds.

One of the things we discussed recently is the year of mystagogy. In the US, the USCCB recommends giving neophytes that first year to settle in, deepen their conversions, learn how to be Catholic. In their recommendations, they recommend for the first year the neophyte does not participate in parish ministries.

For us, with so many coming from LDS backgrounds (a few hundred in the diocese), and the expectation that participating in ministries (callings for LDS) is an immediate thing, we don’t discourage participation in ministries. We encourage it, and I think it helps with the transition into the Catholic Church.

I went through that period of loneliness, before I was baptized, and sometimes I still feel it. I am the only Catholic in my entire family, extended family or extended-extended family. I go to Mass alone. Most of the time I sit with or near friends.

One time a Catholic mentor pointed out to me that no one is a Christian alone. It just isn’t possible. Being an introvert, it is something I needed to hear because I am content to do things alone. Oh, and recently the same mentor pointed out that contentment is a vice. sigh

Learning how to be a Catholic takes time. There is a one of the letters of St Paul to pagan converts (I’ll see if I can find where exactly), where, he comments on them turning to their old pagan ways in times of stress or hardship. People look for what is comfortable to them. He encourages them to stay strong in Jesus Christ.

I think most converts feel that pull at times. It is natural and normal. Over the years I have not been LDS (decades), Mormon “stuff” pops up at the strangest times. I’ll be cleaning the house and start humming “Abide In Me”…which remains my only favorite Mormon hymn.

It is OK. Turn these things to Jesus Christ. That is how the Catholic Church has always evangelized non-Christians and non-Christian cultures. Christianizing all things. Turn everything towards Him. Give everything to Jesus.

Peace.

I am so glad that you are Catholic. Wish we had a whole bunch more just like you!

 

[RebeccaJ]

I am so glad that you are Catholic. Wish we had a whole bunch more just like you!

Thanks.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Being a Christian is harrrrrd whine. lol. I am very aware that I am not able to follow Jesus on my own.

For me, it has been the writings of the Saints, but more so, Fr. Luigi Giussani. I am a ciellini. I participate in Communion and Liberation. Fr. Giussani’s books, “Is It Possible To Live This Way?” have helped me a lot, in understanding what it means to follow Jesus. Our School of Community, has brought real change to a heathen’s life. I’m still learning, and my life still changes.

My first confession, Fr. said, “live a Christian life”. I asked, “How?”. I was raised LDS, but for most of my life I was atheist. In RCIA, I learned Christian doctrine, I learned how to pray, how to read scripture. During that time, I had experiences that brought me to God. But in all that, no on ever explained how to be Catholic. It is so foreign to me, religion in general. All I had before was my LDS experience, from long, long ago, and I already had given that life up decades before.

I stopped trying to figure the “how”, and just focus on living a Christian life. I fit in well with our ciellini, as they’re an intellectual bunch who aren’t into frills and are perfectly comfortable to have deep discussions over a beer. We focus on Jesus, in this secular world, and how it is possible to “live this way”. I can be my really screwed up self, ask very difficult questions, and hear others ask theirs, and discuss how it all can be turned to true discipleship.

I bristle at discipleship being described as “being nice”. As, that to me is superficial. Anyone can work at “being nice”. That is not the work I am engaged in.

Everyone has their own experiences, their own “road to Rome”, and while we meet in Rome, our roads diverge from there, as we are sent out. No one person is alike in their relationship to Jesus Christ, Our Lord and God.

Peace.

 

[TheExorcist]

Hey Exorcist… read my post. As Ward chorister, you could do some good!

I agree about the music thing. When I first time I tried to “escape” from the church I started attending an Episcopal parish and it was the music that made me fall in love with the liturgy. I know it’s not exactly Catholicism but if you go to a traditional parish it can be very similar. Our rector at that parish was a former Catholic priest so that may be why. The musical parts of the LDS block are the only ones I enjoy any more. THREE HOURS of chuch is getting OLD though!