Ex-Mormons Why Did You Leave the Church II

[RebeccaJ]

If I take what many of you are saying at face value, I must say that you are a very unusual set of people. I’ve seen many people leave this (Mormon) church and I’ve almost never seen anyone leave because of doctrinal doubts. They usually leave because the church is too strict or demanding, but none of you cited that as a reason. So I’m a little suspicious and have to ask myself if the doctrinal doubts came more as a justification than as a source.

Like I said in an earlier post about faith, people are able to tolerate a fair amount “not fully understanding” a thing because–well we just have to because that’s the situation we’re often in on a lot of things.

I know you guys believe the Catholic doctrine and are always angry when the Mormon doctrine is different. But your efforts at trying to make the Mormon doctrine seem weird are unconvincing, they’re just too self-serving.

I never saw Mormonism as too strict or too demanding. I saw it, at the time I left, as illogical, particularly the doctrines of marriage/polygamy, priesthood ban, and pre-existence. The most problematic Mormon doctrines I see now are about their God(s).

 

[Marie5890]

I never saw Mormonism as too strict or too demanding. I saw it, at the time I left, as illogical, particularly the doctrines of marriage/polygamy, priesthood ban, and pre-existence. The most problematic Mormon doctrines I see now are about their God(s).

The whole “too strict/ too demanding” meme has been around a long time in the LDS culture to explain why people leave.

Makes it easy for them to dismiss or ignore the real reasons. It’s a form of denial…

 

[RebeccaJ]

The whole “too strict/ too demanding” meme has been around a long time in the LDS culture to explain why people leave.

Makes it easy for them to dismiss or ignore the real reasons. It’s a form of denial…

It goes with the “higher standard”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “we live a higher standard”. Everywhere, from family parties to business meetings. It comes across as arrogant.

Personally, I wouldn’t lower my standards to practice polygamy.

 

[Marie5890]

It goes with the “higher standard”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “we live a higher standard”. Everywhere, from family parties to business meetings. It comes across as arrogant.

Personally, I wouldn’t lower my standards to practice polygamy.

Amen…

And yes, the arrogance is there…

 

[debbie_h]

If I take what many of you are saying at face value, I must say that you are a very unusual set of people. I’ve seen many people leave this (Mormon) church and I’ve almost never seen anyone leave because of doctrinal doubts. They usually leave because the church is too strict or demanding, but none of you cited that as a reason. So I’m a little suspicious and have to ask myself if the doctrinal doubts came more as a justification than as a source.

Like I said in an earlier post about faith, people are able to tolerate a fair amount “not fully understanding” a thing because–well we just have to because that’s the situation we’re often in on a lot of things.

I know you guys believe the Catholic doctrine and are always angry when the Mormon doctrine is different. But your efforts at trying to make the Mormon doctrine seem weird are unconvincing, they’re just too self-serving.

I was born & raised in the Mormon covenant, totally immersed in the teachings, lifestyle & culture of the church. I participated in every primary & youth activity, completed my early morning seminary classes, temple baptisms for the dead, relief society, YSA, I had a calling as a primary Sunday school teacher. It was all that I knew. But within my life in the church something just didn’t sit right. I could never grasp the teachings of polygamy, black priesthood, etc. Although I really tried to believe, I didn’t research anything at that time as I still had that fear of anything deemed as “anti-Mormon literature”, I relied on the churches teachings. My trust in mormonism was certainly shaky, But I never lost faith that God does exist. I really struggled with the concept of ‘what if it is all a lie’, 'will I be sent to the outer darkness as an ‘apostate’?, will I be rejected by my family for leaving?.. Etc.

The stigma attached to those who leave the church are very real. I would say that your doubts to those leaving for doctrinal reasons is the fact that the church leaders would never tell you the real reason why that a person has left. Through my whole life in the church I have never heard that a person left because of doctrinal reasons, it was always they left because they were offended (at what? they would never say) or something to do with sin. even my own parents tried to insist that i left because I could not live up to the LDS standards!!! While there are people who left because of sin (heck, my bishop at the time left & cheated on his wife), i can honestly say that I did NOT leave because I wanted to sin. While I left the Mormon faith, I still identified myself as a decent law abiding Christian & tried my best to be a good Christian. . (Might i add that I married a wonderful (catholic) man, have 2 beautiful children (within wedlock), I studied & have become a Nurse).

It was not until late last year, through my own choice that I actually considered looking into the Catholic faith, it was not until I started studying & researching about Christianity itself that I realised that I was right in my feelings of doubt in the Mormon faith. my doubts were confirmed & i was devastated! Through studying (& I still have a long way to go) the Catholic faith have I come to learn of the true nature of god, I KNOW that there was never a ‘great apostasy’ thus there was never a need for a restoration of the gospel.

I am in the last stretch of my RCIA classes & I am excited to be baptised soon. Never have I felt so much love from God. Everything feels right. I have really opened up my heart to god & I have started to pray again. I am coming home to the Church that Jesus himself set up for us.

 

[pinkprincess]

To return or stay LDS after having used critical thinking skills takes mental Olympic hoop jumping exercises…

Returning to Mormonism after leaving is one of the great mysteries of the day. I don’t think any level of mental hoop jumping can account for it. It’s more like, a permanent burial of ones head, into the sand, covered with a layer of generously sized boulders, topped with a layer of concrete.

Some people are really just there because of family, and the community. They feel good in there and find the teachings (like about family commitment, etc) to be nice. In addition, they simply just believe in God, without really knowing the truth about the true God and His true Church. They don’t really care about the details.

 

[pinkprincess]

i belive codyfire is making decisions based on his feelings. being sexually abused by a priest has created emotional and faith difficulties for many people. pray that codyfire will receive healing from the Holy Spirit to overcome the extremely negative emotions that developed as a result of his being abused. it is only through this healing that codyfire will be able to quell the negative emotions and be able to apply his intellect to his faith development. codyfire is not the first, nor will he be the last, whose faith has suffered extreme damage as a result of the actions of a person with spiritual authority. many young people have had their sexual maturity severely damaged as a result of sexual abuse by an adult. it would not hurt us to pray daily that the good Lord bring healing to all of the world’s victims of sexual assault, in particular those assaulted while still young.

for an innocent youth, even loose speech about sexual acts are a form of sexual assault, as are pictures and films that portray human sexuality in an immoral fashion. alll such acts work to destroy innocence.

Here is a prayer that I found on Catholic Global Network Facebok Page:

Prayer Regarding Church Scandals

Lord, I know there are Scandals in Your Church which are caused by its members.
As Your Holy Book says, “nothing under the sun is new,” (ecc1:9) and these scandals do not turn me away from Your Church because it is Your Church, and there have been scandals in it from the very beginning, even by the men you chose as Your first Apostles.
While I desire to do what I can to fight these scandals, help me to embrace humility and start with myself.
Lord, forgive me and have mercy on me for the scandals that I cause Your Church when I don’t live in accordance with Your most holy will.
Amen.

 

[zaffiroborant]

Why does Rmcmullan like so many LDS church members have this need to vilify former members? I’ll bet in his years in the LDS church he has heard from former Catholics, Methodists, Evangelicals and members of other religions who converted to the LDS faith. I’ll bet he found their testimony of how compelling LDS teachings were how they just made sense to them, to be quite satisfying and oh so understandable. And yet he can not even imagine that the reverse may be true. That those who convert to Catholicism or Methodism could not possibly find them convincing. Nope they just want to sin that’s the problem.

The contempt that LDS have for non-members is astounding second only to that which they have for former members.

 

[iepuras]

Why does Rmcmullan like so many LDS church members have this need to vilify former members? I’ll bet in his years in the LDS church he has heard from former Catholics, Methodists, Evangelicals and members of other religions who converted to the LDS faith. I’ll bet he found their testimony of how compelling LDS teachings were how they just made sense to them, to be quite satisfying and oh so understandable. And yet he can not even imagine that the reverse may be true. That those who convert to Catholicism or Methodism could not possibly find them convincing. Nope they just want to sin that’s the problem.

The contempt that LDS have for non-members is astounding second only to that which they have for former members.

Apostacy is the greatest sin in Mormonism. Greater than murder. Because they are the One True Church of Christ, no other church matters. You can leave those churches but you can’t leave Mormonism. Some ex Mormons describe it as the Hotel California - you can check out any time you like but you can never leave. All other churches are wrong to them. Some of the high up leaders get what is referred to as a Second Anointing, which is basically their ticket into the celestial kingdom. They are told they can commit any sin except apostacy and still get in. This is why the Mormon apostles can lie with a straight face. They are getting to the celestial kingdom no matter what except for that little thing called apostacy.

When I told my parents I no longer believed, they acted as if I admitted to being a serial killer. Really? I’m your daughter for crying out loud! Things are slowly getting better with them. To Mormons, nothing is more important than the church, not even family. They covenant in the temple to give everything to the church, not to God. To the church. This is why often families will shun and spouses will leave otherwise good marriages and file for divorce. All because someone doesn’t believe. It sickening.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Some people are really just there because of family, and the community. They feel good in there and find the teachings (like about family commitment, etc) to be nice. In addition, they simply just believe in God, without really knowing the truth about the true God and His true Church. They don’t really care about the details.

I don’t know anyone who has returned that is “new order Mormon”-ish. Granted, I know only two but neither strike me as going along for the ride. They are in, hook, line and sinker. It’s the “Mormony” comments. No one says, “it’s a sign of the times”, like a believing Mormon.

 

[LivingWaters7]

I tend to take a more moderate view on this. I think that whenever someone leaves a “one true religion”, whether it’s Mormonism, Catholicism, Orthodoxy, etc, the still-believing members will usually think that it’s because: 1) they weren’t catechized well/taught properly (I see this many times on this forum. while many actually demonstrate that they weren’t catechized well, some don’t), or 2) they wanted to sin/do things that the religion forbids (i.e. pre-marital sex). Further, parents will many times be upset for various reasons, such as 1)the potential eternal consequences for leaving the one true church, and 2) leaving what they brought you up in/did they do “enough” to teach them the “right way”.

When I left Catholicism for Mormonism, I experienced these things. With my parents, while it wasn’t necessarily divisive, they many times told me that they just wanted me to return to Catholicism, how could I leave, that’s what they raised me as, you don’t do that, etc. It was worse when I went to church with them and didn’t go up for Communion. I couldn’t even dare tell my grandmother. A relative that left Catholicism for Assemblies of God is the black sheep. I don’t think my experience is unique amongst those with large, Catholic-for-generations families. While certain religions like Jehovah’s Witnesses, with formal shunning, may have more extreme responses to leaving, and while there are obvious unique circumstances in close-knit church communities like in Mormonism, there are still common, negative responses to those that leave the “one true church”, whatever that church may be.

So, I’m not surprised at rmcmullan’s views, since they follow a narrative that is quite common in various religions that have similar “one true religion” views. If this is the God-ordained Truth, for someone to leave it, there must be something “wrong” with them, or maybe they didn’t really understand it or believe it.

I’m glad that my LDS friends that I’ve told about my path have been great. While I’m sure they obviously (and justifiably) want me to return to the LDS Church, they haven’t “shunned” me, said that I just wanted to sin (since they actually know me), etc.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Marie5890]

So, I’m not surprised at rmcmullan’s views, since they follow a narrative that is quite common in various religions that have similar “one true religion” views. If this is the God-ordained Truth, for someone to leave it, there must be something “wrong” with them, or maybe they didn’t really understand it or believe it.

.

Very fair explanation.
Yes when anyone is leaving what is deemed “the truth” by others, there has to be something wrong with that person.

Many profess and fully believe, Catholics included, that they have the corner market on the FULL truth.

 

[eddie_too]

only Jesus is the Perfect and Full Truth.

Jesus founded only one institution. that institution possesses as much of the truth as it is possible for a human institution to possess. Jesus made it that way.

ALL other institutions were founded by sinful men. theses institutions possess elements of truth to greater or lesser degrees.

if you want to knot the true path to God and to heaven, join the institution God established for our salvation.

 

[Marie5890]

only Jesus is the Perfect and Full Truth.

Jesus founded only one institution. that institution possesses as much of the truth as it is possible for a human institution to possess. Jesus made it that way.

ALL other institutions were founded by sinful men. theses institutions possess elements of truth to greater or lesser degrees.

if you want to knot the true path to God and to heaven, join the institution God established for our salvation.

Do you make a distinction between Catholicism and Orthodoxy in this statement? The only reason I ask is because many dont include the Orthodox Church in this.

Adding link to Pope BXVI (Catholics many times seem to just completely ignore? forget? Their Orthodox brethern)

vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/speeches/2007/june/documents/hf_ben-xvi_spe_20070616_chrysostomos-ii_en.html

 

[eddie_too]

my opinion is that the orthodox church was created by the Patriarch of Constantinople.
at the time of the Great Schism.

i see the primacy of Peter to be essential to the unity Jesus desires in His visible church.

i do not understand how there can be a unified body, as intended by Jesus, without a mechanism to fully and finally resolve internal disputes.

however, i do not claim to have full and final understanding of the truth. consequently, i am open to, seek and encourage more dialogue on this issue.

at this point in time, based on my current level of understanding, i do not believe the orthodox churches possess the fullness of truth that Jesus provided the institution He founded.

it is not useful to the faithful to have to choose between different moral and theological understandings of the truth. the very fact that such differences exist leads me to believe that someone is wrong.

i do not understand how it is reasonable to believe that Jesus wants His followers to be forced to choose between different teachings.

there is little i desire more than a unification of christianity. that very desire, however, indicates the need for someone to make the final decision.

 

[Marie5890]

my opinion is that the orthodox church was created by the Patriarch of Constantinople.
at the time of the Great Schism.

i see the primacy of Peter to be essential to the unity Jesus desires in His visible church.

i do not understand how there can be a unified body, as intended by Jesus, without a mechanism to fully and finally resolve internal disputes.

however, i do not claim to have full and final understanding of the truth. consequently, i am open to, seek and encourage more dialogue on this issue.

at this point in time, based on my current level of understanding, i do not believe the orthodox churches possess the fullness of truth that Jesus provided the institution He founded.

it is not useful to the faithful to have to choose between different moral and theological understandings of the truth. the very fact that such differences exist leads me to believe that someone is wrong.

i do not understand how it is reasonable to believe that Jesus wants His followers to be forced to choose between different teachings.

there is little i desire more than a unification of christianity. that very desire, however, indicates the need for someone to make the final decision.

vatican.va/holy_father/be…mos-ii_en.htmlsorry that other link didnt work…

pope bxvi remarks to our Orthodox brethern

vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/speeches/2007/june/documents/hf_ben-xvi_spe_20070616_chrysostomos-ii_en.html

 

[zaffiroborant]

I tend to take a more moderate view on this. I think that whenever someone leaves a “one true religion”, whether it’s Mormonism, Catholicism, Orthodoxy, etc, the still-believing members will usually think that it’s because: 1) they weren’t catechized well/taught properly (I see this many times on this forum. while many actually demonstrate that they weren’t catechized well, some don’t), or 2) they wanted to sin/do things that the religion forbids (i.e. pre-marital sex). Further, parents will many times be upset for various reasons, such as 1)the potential eternal consequences for leaving the one true church, and 2) leaving what they brought you up in/did they do “enough” to teach them the “right way”.

When I left Catholicism for Mormonism, I experienced these things. With my parents, while it wasn’t necessarily divisive, they many times told me that they just wanted me to return to Catholicism, how could I leave, that’s what they raised me as, you don’t do that, etc. It was worse when I went to church with them and didn’t go up for Communion. I couldn’t even dare tell my grandmother. A relative that left Catholicism for Assemblies of God is the black sheep. I don’t think my experience is unique amongst those with large, Catholic-for-generations families. While certain religions like Jehovah’s Witnesses, with formal shunning, may have more extreme responses to leaving, and while there are obvious unique circumstances in close-knit church communities like in Mormonism, there are still common, negative responses to those that leave the “one true church”, whatever that church may be.

So, I’m not surprised at rmcmullan’s views, since they follow a narrative that is quite common in various religions that have similar “one true religion” views. If this is the God-ordained Truth, for someone to leave it, there must be something “wrong” with them, or maybe they didn’t really understand it or believe it.

I’m glad that my LDS friends that I’ve told about my path have been great. While I’m sure they obviously (and justifiably) want me to return to the LDS Church, they haven’t “shunned” me, said that I just wanted to sin (since they actually know me), etc.

Just my 2 cents.

Saying someone was not catechized/taught well is putting the blame on the church not the member who left. It is the churches’ responsibility to catechize, this responsibility would include the home church explaining why parents wonder if they’ve failed somehow. But to say someone left the church so they could sin or because they have unresolved sin is just ugly. There really is no justification for vilifying people in this manner, it’s presumptuous, and lacks both charity and chastity.

Like you I have seen many here cite poor or no catechesis as the reason people leave, what I haven’t seen is people saying these people leave because they want to have pre-marital sex or commit some other sin.

 

[TheIrishman]

I know that when I graduate in December and move back to Pittsburgh I will be attending RCIA and going to mass with the intention of converting. I also know that when I do leave the LDS church, my parents will think a few things. One of those is that I apostatized and want to sin. Then I hope they next thing they think of would be going back to Catholicism. My parents are converts. However, my dad is a bishop and my mom is a counselor in the relief society, so i doubt their hearts will change quickly.

Anyways, the main reason why I’m deciding to leave the LDS church is because Christ isn’t there. In meetings, in sacrament, in life, I don’t feel His presence while being in the LDS Church. I went to mass for the first time a few years ago while on my mission to Ireland. I literally felt Christ there and knew, there was something special about the Catholic Church. I can’t feel Christ in Anything that is LDS and for that, I will be leaving upon graduation and seeking Him in the Catholic Church.

 

[Boulder257]

I know that when I graduate in December and move back to Pittsburgh I will be attending RCIA and going to mass with the intention of converting. I also know that when I do leave the LDS church, my parents will think a few things. One of those is that I apostatized and want to sin. Then I hope they next thing they think of would be going back to Catholicism. My parents are converts. However, my dad is a bishop and my mom is a counselor in the relief society, so i doubt their hearts will change quickly.

Anyways, the main reason why I’m deciding to leave the LDS church is because Christ isn’t there. In meetings, in sacrament, in life, I don’t feel His presence while being in the LDS Church. I went to mass for the first time a few years ago while on my mission to Ireland. I literally felt Christ there and knew, there was something special about the Catholic Church. I can’t feel Christ in Anything that is LDS and for that, I will be leaving upon graduation and seeking Him in the Catholic Church.

Yeah! Good for you. You never know what seeds you can plant with your parents. Let the Holy Spirit do his work and you might be amazed.

 

[iepuras]

I know that when I graduate in December and move back to Pittsburgh I will be attending RCIA and going to mass with the intention of converting. I also know that when I do leave the LDS church, my parents will think a few things. One of those is that I apostatized and want to sin. Then I hope they next thing they think of would be going back to Catholicism. My parents are converts. However, my dad is a bishop and my mom is a counselor in the relief society, so i doubt their hearts will change quickly.

Anyways, the main reason why I’m deciding to leave the LDS church is because Christ isn’t there. In meetings, in sacrament, in life, I don’t feel His presence while being in the LDS Church. I went to mass for the first time a few years ago while on my mission to Ireland. I literally felt Christ there and knew, there was something special about the Catholic Church. I can’t feel Christ in Anything that is LDS and for that, I will be leaving upon graduation and seeking Him in the Catholic Church.

Welcome! I am definitely with you on how wonderful Mass is! Jesus is truly there with us! Based on your location, I have a good guess as to where you are attending university. Be very, very careful! Do not access this website or any other “anti-Mormon” websites from university computers or the university network. They can kick you out for apostacy and you will lose your credits. Make sure you keep that all-mighty ecclesiatical endorsement. Keep your head down and be a good Mormon. Once you have a copy of your degree and some official transcripts in hand, then you can resign. I worry for you and all other unbelieving students at Mormon universities. You will be in my prayers!