Excerpts from church bulletins

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CelticWarlord

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Questionably phrased announcements
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  • The the registration fee for the upcoming Fasting and Prayer Conference has all meals included".
-This morning’s sermon; “Jesus Walks on Water”. This evening’s sermon; “Searching for Jesus*”

-Ladies, don’t forget next week’s rummage sale. It’s a great way to get rid of those things around the house you have no further use for. Be sure to bring your husbands.

-Don’t let worry and stress kill you. Please allow the church to help.

-Miss Sylvia Chance sang, “I Will Not Pass This Way Again”, giving obvious pleasure to the audience.

-Irving Benson and Jessie Morrow were married in the church last Saturday, thus bringing to an end a friendship that began when they were school children together.*

-Low Self Esteem Support Group meets this Wednesday at the church. Please use the back door.

-Weight Watchers meeting will be this coming Thursday at the church. Please use the large double doors at the side of the building.

-Ladies of the congregation have cast off clothing of all types. They can be viewed in the church basement this Friday afternoon.
 
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The oldie but goodie “Mr Smith is lying at death’s door, let us pray that the Lord will pull him through”
 
"On Wednesday, the Pastor will give a lesson on ‘What is Hell?’ Come hear our choir practice. "

ICXC NIKA
 
“For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have childcare on Sundays in the basement.”
 
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