Excessive baby rocking and bouncing?

[tjfitz]

Last Sunday at Mass there was a youngish mother a few pews ahead of us, and while we were standing, she began to sway back and forth and bounce her baby in arms. It got a little distracting, I thought.

I’ve seen this kind of over-zealous baby or child rocking before (it generally seems to be done up in the front pews) and wonder if it wouldn’t be better to just take the baby to the back of the church or to the crying room.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Last Sunday at Mass there was a youngish mother a few pews ahead of us, and while we were standing, she began to sway back and forth and bounce her baby in arms. It got a little distracting, I thought.

I’ve seen this kind of over-zealous baby or child rocking before (it generally seems to be done up in the front pews) and wonder if it wouldn’t be better to just take the baby to the back of the church or to the crying room.

I take it there were on other seats that you could have moved to?

 

[tjfitz]

I suppose I could have moved, but I was in the middle of a pew with people on both sides of me, and then I would have had to wander along the aisle looking for another place.

 

[EasterJoy]

Last Sunday at Mass there was a youngish mother a few pews ahead of us, and while we were standing, she began to sway back and forth and bounce her baby in arms. It got a little distracting, I thought.

I’ve seen this kind of over-zealous baby or child rocking before (it generally seems to be done up in the front pews) and wonder if it wouldn’t be better to just take the baby to the back of the church or to the crying room.

I think you’re lucky you didn’t ask this in the “parenting” forum.

I would say that if bouncing is all it takes to maintain quiet, that’s OK. The kids can see better up front. Sometimes, with a good view and a little bouncing, you don’t have to leave church entirely.

Kids are going to wiggle, need to be bounce, talk when they should be quiet, and rattle things that should not be rattled during Mass. They should be at Mass, and we should learn to live with the fact that a parish with new life coming into it is not going to have the same kind of Mass experience that they get over at the monastery. (Although I know of some monasteries that bend over backwards to accomodate children, too.)

Besides, Jesus didn’t say the kids had to become like us to get into Heaven.
He said we had to go back to being like them. Realizing that distractions are a fact of life is probably part of that, don’t you think?

 

[tjfitz]

I think some parents are just better than others at the job of keeping their children calm in church. We had four who were ages 0, 2, 3 and 4 in Mass with us (and progressed up the age ladder at the same separation) and even though the littlest usually said “I don’t wanna go to terch” every Sunday, we managed pretty well with them all. We always sat in the back of church because there was and is no crying room there. I don’t ever remember my wife or me bouncing any of our children and rocking 'n rolling them to keep them quiet.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I suppose I could have moved, but I was in the middle of a pew with people on both sides of me, and then I would have had to wander along the aisle looking for another place.

Then in that case you really couldn’t move.

 

[bpbasilphx]

The kids can see better up front

**And when they can see better, they are better behaved!

This is one advantage to a pewless church (as is common in Eastern Churches). The little ones aren’t confined to one spot in a forest of furniture and are free to move around, look at icons, and such. Since they are not pinned to the pew, they don’t disturb others.**

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

But the downside of that is they sometimes are let run wild. One Sunday we had a little one running up and down the steps near the tabernacle, and up and down the aisle.

It is tough to get a balance, but any distraction is better at least off to the side, rather than center front.

Lux

 

[SeekerJen]

I think some parents are just better than others at the job of keeping their children calm in church. We had four who were ages 0, 2, 3 and 4 in Mass with us (and progressed up the age ladder at the same separation) and even though the littlest usually said “I don’t wanna go to terch” every Sunday, we managed pretty well with them all. We always sat in the back of church because there was and is no crying room there. I don’t ever remember my wife or me bouncing any of our children and rocking 'n rolling them to keep them quiet.

Well congratulations, you had easy children. Not all children are as docile as yours were. I suggest that you take a gander over to the parenting forum. These are not bad parents by any means- some of them were given more challenging children than you and your wife obviously were. I also suggest that if you’re distracted so easily that perhaps you should choose seats at the front of the church.

 

[EasterJoy]

Well congratulations, you had easy children. Not all children are as docile as yours were. I suggest that you take a gander over to the parenting forum. These are not bad parents by any means- some of them were given more challenging children than you and your wife obviously were. I also suggest that if you’re distracted so easily that perhaps you should choose seats at the front of the church.

And boy, do I know a lot of parents who thought they knew how to make a kid behave…until that fourth one came along and taught them what was what!

Life is so humbling!

You never know, either. The one who thinks he always needs to be doing something during Mass could wind up to be the priest!

 

[Jennifer_J]

Greetings from a member of the parenting forum

I often rock and bounce my babies through Mass (currently working on the 6th one, so I suppose it could have been me you saw!), to keep them from yelling, screaming, and such. I think it’s a bit less distracting than the alternative. And I wonder, you said Mass was full, so was this mother in the middle of the pew? How hard would it have been for HER to leave the pew and make her way to the back? Pretty distracting, huh? Perhaps you would do better to sit closer to the front yourself, if possible, and then keep your attention on the Mass. No one is promised a distraction-free Mass and it probably isn’t possible. Our good and holy priest thanks the parents EVERY Sunday for bringing their children to Mass, even if they are squirmy, noisey and a bit distacting. They are the future of the Church, after all. He said that we are a Parish Family and that children are a part of that family. Those wishing silent Masses could attend the 2 local monasteries

 

[zab]

Greetings from a member of the parenting forum

I often rock and bounce my babies through Mass (currently working on the 6th one, so I suppose it could have been me you saw!), …

I’m almost a senior, my kids are all grown now, and I still catch myself swaying in church:blush:

 

[quiet52]

I like to imagine that when the multitudes were listening to Jesus speak on the hillside, there were plenty of children around, crying, laughing, talking, running around, trying to play with their siblings or vying for their parents’ attention. I think everyone there had to just deal with it. I don’t think Jesus told the parents to take them away.

 

[marytk]

And boy, do I know a lot of parents who thought they knew how to make a kid behave…until that fourth one came along and taught them what was what!

Life is so humbling!

You never know, either. The one who thinks he always needs to be doing something during Mass could wind up to be the priest!

That is so true. And it might not be the fourth it could be the tenth. That goes for how they act at Mass to getting homework done. My sister and her friend were lectured to by a single mother of one that you just tell them that you expect them to get right to HW. My sister and her friend thought “that worked with my first or the other six” but with_______,
Sometimes we (including me) have to work at our own ability to be distracted rather than expecting everything to be just the way I want it.

 

[tjfitz]

Sorry to annoy the rockers and swayers, but I would prefer to see a little child walking in the aisle or sitting on the altar steps (I’ve seen it often) than see a grown woman swaying like a metronone or frantically rocking a child. It just seems overdone and over-mommy-ed to me.

(An aside: why don’t I ever see a daddy rocking and swaying?)

Granted, it is hard to get out of a pew and go to the back of the church or to the crying room if you are stuck in the middle, but a small bit of planning ahead for the inevitable disturbance by picking a convenient escape route could make things much easier. I also know it is annoying to have people without children take up all the back pews or insist in the aisle spot in the other pews.

 

[Phemie]

My baby just turned 24 but put an infant in my arms when I’m standing and I rock and sway – nothing whatsoever to do with keeping them from crying, it’s just how I deal with holding infants. Did it with the kids in the nursery when I helped out there and did it with mine. Mom probably did the same with me.

 

[KarenElissa]

My baby just turned 24 but put an infant in my arms when I’m standing and I rock and sway – nothing whatsoever to do with keeping them from crying, it’s just how I deal with holding infants. Did it with the kids in the nursery when I helped out there and did it with mine. Mom probably did the same with me.

It really must be something built into our brains cause I do the same thing and I’ve never even had kids!

As for the OP, I just don’t see the big deal.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

I rock when I hold my cats. Heck I held a Resusci Baby recently and I automatically started swaying. Holding something that size just triggers the maternal rocking mechanism.

 

[maryj]

Greetings from a member of the parenting forum

I often rock and bounce my babies through Mass (currently working on the 6th one, so I suppose it could have been me you saw!), to keep them from yelling, screaming, and such. I think it’s a bit less distracting than the alternative. And I wonder, you said Mass was full, so was this mother in the middle of the pew? How hard would it have been for HER to leave the pew and make her way to the back? Pretty distracting, huh? Perhaps you would do better to sit closer to the front yourself, if possible, and then keep your attention on the Mass. No one is promised a distraction-free Mass and it probably isn’t possible. Our good and holy priest thanks the parents EVERY Sunday for bringing their children to Mass, even if they are squirmy, noisey and a bit distacting. They are the future of the Church, after all. He said that we are a Parish Family and that children are a part of that family. Those wishing silent Masses could attend the 2 local monasteries

I agree with you except for one thing, children should be up front in the church. We have just started a new family Mass at our parish. I gotta say I’m one of those who gets easily irritated by noise at Mass. That is my problem, no one elses. But at Mass today I noticed this, the children in the back of the church seem to make more noise than the children in the front. It was crazy noisy today. I saw the noisiest one as she came in, cutest little thing with pig tails and was screaming from the moment her parents brought her in. As Father was getting ready to ask us to offer the sign of peace to one another he stopped, smiled and said “please offer a sign to the parents of our little children today, let them know how happy we are to have them here, and that we want them to feel welcomed and loved here” I heard an audible chuckle come from the congregation. I also like to imagine what must have been going on during the sermon on the mount. I ask God to grant me patience and understanding during “noisey” Masses" most times it helps.

 

[yellowbird]

Seriously, how great is your life if your biggest irritation is a mother rocking her baby?

I double dog dare you to post this in the parenting forum. You will be ripped to shreds my friend.