D
DakiniArtist
Guest
So…
Good morning!
My in-laws have moved down from up North. As they grow comfortable with me, and with our family, we are getting to see another side of them. Frankly, it’s getting uncomfortable. I’m now walking the line between understanding, compassion, and being assertive and putting my foot down.
My parents-in-law think nothing of using the “f” word. Dinner discussions with them (and whatever visiting relative) will often involve talk of bedroom activities, how this person and that person is a dumb***, pro-lifers are stupid, etc. They never eat at our house, as they are the older generation and in their family that is how it’s done. We also have several children. Once of the older teens loves this and eats it ups. Another is more like I am, and is horrified and often feigns stomachaches or migraines and simply stays home.
I don’t have family, so it’s not like we have anyone else to have family dinners with, by the way.
Hubby and I have chosen to limit our time over there, and we have spoken with them and set boundaries. He is good about handling it, as they are his parents, and he takes the approach of, “Let me be the bad guy.” He’s also been in the South for a couple of decades now so the coarse language offends him. He’s pro-life as well so he gets pretty bent out of shape at their words.
It’s a struggle. My father-in-law, out of the blue, snapped at me again Saturday and yelled, “I don’t want my [biological] grandkids raised Catholic. I already told you no!” when he overheard me mentioning to my sister-in-law I wouldn’t be joining her for a party on a Saturday night, as that was Easter Vigil. I turned to him and firmly said, “I’m sorry, that is not your business.” (By the way, my in-laws are ALL lifelong, Irish and Italian Catholics, the whole family! And they will argue with me tooth and nail, erroneously, about what the Church teaches!)
God bless them. I think I just needed to vent. I don’t want to gossip or share with my sister so she will dislike them. Or my friends, for the same reason. I need to type this out so others will see and perhaps get just some “amens” and some “Oh have you considered…” or just some “Honey, hang in there! You’re doing the RIGHT thing!”
I just have to laugh. They are all Catholic from generations back and they HATE that I’m joining the Church, had my kids go through RCIC, and we’re enrolling the little ones in CCD when they’re older. You have to chuckle at that!
And that these guys who are twenty years older than we, the Baby Boomers, are having to be told, “Please don’t use those words around the kids! They don’t need to hear that!” And my husband and I are being told that we, the Gen X’ers, are “prudes” and “killjoys!”
Thanks for listening, friends and fellow co-conspirators!
Good morning!
My in-laws have moved down from up North. As they grow comfortable with me, and with our family, we are getting to see another side of them. Frankly, it’s getting uncomfortable. I’m now walking the line between understanding, compassion, and being assertive and putting my foot down.
My parents-in-law think nothing of using the “f” word. Dinner discussions with them (and whatever visiting relative) will often involve talk of bedroom activities, how this person and that person is a dumb***, pro-lifers are stupid, etc. They never eat at our house, as they are the older generation and in their family that is how it’s done. We also have several children. Once of the older teens loves this and eats it ups. Another is more like I am, and is horrified and often feigns stomachaches or migraines and simply stays home.
I don’t have family, so it’s not like we have anyone else to have family dinners with, by the way.
Hubby and I have chosen to limit our time over there, and we have spoken with them and set boundaries. He is good about handling it, as they are his parents, and he takes the approach of, “Let me be the bad guy.” He’s also been in the South for a couple of decades now so the coarse language offends him. He’s pro-life as well so he gets pretty bent out of shape at their words.
It’s a struggle. My father-in-law, out of the blue, snapped at me again Saturday and yelled, “I don’t want my [biological] grandkids raised Catholic. I already told you no!” when he overheard me mentioning to my sister-in-law I wouldn’t be joining her for a party on a Saturday night, as that was Easter Vigil. I turned to him and firmly said, “I’m sorry, that is not your business.” (By the way, my in-laws are ALL lifelong, Irish and Italian Catholics, the whole family! And they will argue with me tooth and nail, erroneously, about what the Church teaches!)
God bless them. I think I just needed to vent. I don’t want to gossip or share with my sister so she will dislike them. Or my friends, for the same reason. I need to type this out so others will see and perhaps get just some “amens” and some “Oh have you considered…” or just some “Honey, hang in there! You’re doing the RIGHT thing!”
I just have to laugh. They are all Catholic from generations back and they HATE that I’m joining the Church, had my kids go through RCIC, and we’re enrolling the little ones in CCD when they’re older. You have to chuckle at that!
And that these guys who are twenty years older than we, the Baby Boomers, are having to be told, “Please don’t use those words around the kids! They don’t need to hear that!” And my husband and I are being told that we, the Gen X’ers, are “prudes” and “killjoys!”
Thanks for listening, friends and fellow co-conspirators!