Explaining faith to family

  • Thread starter Thread starter spunjalebi
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

spunjalebi

Guest
As many of you may know, I am a relatively new Catholic since this past Easter. I am proud of my decision and stand by my decision to become Catholic, but what has made things rather difficult is the way my non-Christian family has taken it. I went back and forth with whether or not I should tell them about my receiving into the Church and my husband finally told me that I just need to be upfront and honest with them, because I made the decision as an adult whether or not they “like” it.

I told my family not too long ago, and well…they haven’t been taking it very well. They’ve known for years that I was Christian, but without a church yet they knew I was Christian. I felt called to be Catholic for various reasons which I won’t go into for the purposes of this thread. But I’ll hear quack-pot responses such as “you can’t change who you were born as,” to “well after your husband dies (:confused:) you’ll be just like us again,” to the outright crazy “who gave you permission???” As if I need permission!

One of the long-standing arguments they’ve always thrown in my face about why my conversion is somehow “null” is how they perceive other Christians. I don’t know how many times I have to tell them-- I can’t speak for other Christians, and they can’t speak for me! If someone out there decides to call her/himself a Christian yet does everything the Bible says not to, I am not responsible for them. Yet my parents are always pointing out how “Christian white people” (because my family automatically associates Christians with being white:shrug:) are always getting divorced, sleeping around, doing drugs, ending up in jail, shaming their families, etc., therefore Christianity must be wrong. Egad!

I try to tell them that Jesus even said that he didn’t come “for the righteous” but came for the sinners and not a single person on this planet is sinless. Yeah, the soundwaves just don’t seem to work when I talk. I try to explain that Christianity/Catholicism isn’t just about a set of rules and protocol that “have” to be followed but then I get some sort of response that goes along the lines of “well, how is it Christian to get divorces 2 times?” or “how is it Christian to get pregnant when you aren’t married and live with your boyfriend?”

This is getting frustrating-- isn’t it my decision to follow God where He leads me? Isn’t it my decision as to what church I want to go to for the rest of my life? I don’t think I should have to justify anything to anyone as stubborn as that sounds. I mean, I sort of understood that this was difficult for friends to take and also for them but some of this is just ridiculous. And I mean, it’s getting more ridiculous than typical anti-Catholic sentiment.
 
*" Yeah, the soundwaves just don’t seem to work when I talk." * 🙂

It annoys me too, and at times I’ve allowed the top of my head to blow off like a volcano, embarass myself and the Christian faith 😊

I’ve kinda learned to breathe deep and “go to my happy place” or put earphones in and listen to my iPod.

I’m a stress eater, and have gained enough weight eating angry. :eek:
 
I think in your post you may have answered your own question. Sadly there is no one thing you can do or say that will change your family’s mind. They have free will, just as you have the free will to choose to be Catholic. Our Lord loves and welcomes everyone, but we must also be accepting of His grace to grow in faith. I have found it most difficult to “convince” those who are not Catholic/Christian the reasons for my beliefs. However, our lives as Christians consist in continuing to love those who do not believe as we do, to be filled with hope, and to be examples of Jesus for the world. We do not know when others may accept God’s grace, and perhaps by our example be brought closer to Him. I pray you will find peace in the Body of Christ, and that your family may see Christ in you. Our Lord obviously has found a place in your heart and now wants you to share Him with the world, even though it doesn’t always feel all warm and fuzzy…
 
Lord, I know where you’re coming from. For me it was essentially the same thing except my parents, one sister (in Kentucky) and most of my extended family are Lutheran, and my mom’s a Lutheran minister. When I was in university (college for you American folks), my mom was my Lutheran chaplain on campus. Talk about awkward! It was hard enough having your mom being a Lutheran minister, but your chaplain as well?! Thank God I went to an affiliated university just off campus (King’s University College, Catholic no less). I converted a year after I graduated, and boy did it take my mom a while to accept my conversion, but only barely. It’s four years and she’s only just accepted it. I heard through the grapevine afterwards that she had a “hissy fit” over my conversion :eek:. In the Lutheran tradition you have two main sacraments, Baptism and the Eucharist, but a big unofficial sacrament in high school is Confirmation. I was confirmed (in the Lutheran sense) in high school, and to this day, my mom refuses to call my reception into the Church Confirmation, because in her mind I’ve already been confirmed. Uh, not quite. I still don’t quite understand what happened that Easter Vigil (yes, I got the whole shebang, complete with oil in the eyes) but I’ve been led ever since by Jesus. Jump forward four years and I’ve had this past summer what I term a “second conversion.” I made a commitment to Christ early this summer with a group called CCO (Catholic Christian Outreach), an outreach to Catholic youth and young adults forming leaders in the Church (Canadian, and I believe there may be an equivalent in the States), and it’s been a wild ride ever since (LOH, renewed interest in Scripture, Rosary etc.). I made some awesome friends from all across this country, from Prince Edward Island (a small island between New Brunswick and Newfoundland) to Vancouver… But boy is it hard to explain all this to your family, who should know you best, when they’re stuck in their ways and refuse to see any other way than what they grew up with 🤷. I’m still praying for them. My advice is don’t give up! 👍

Chantal
 
The same type of arguements could be used to make claims against any belief system.

Stalin was an aethist, Stalin had millions killed. You can’t be an aethist.

Muslims blew of the world trade center. You can’t be Muslim.

etc. etc.

The larger the group, the longer it has been in existence, the more wrong you will be likely to find done by some of it’s members.

There is no impecable group of people to which you can point.

So i guess you can’t be human either.

A belief system must be judged on the merits of it’s teachings and the body of it’s works. Not on the worse example you can find from some members of that group.

Chuck
spunjalebi said:
As many of you may know, I am a relatively new Catholic since this past Easter. I am proud of my decision and stand by my decision to become Catholic, but what has made things rather difficult is the way my non-Christian family has taken it. I went back and forth with whether or not I should tell them about my receiving into the Church and my husband finally told me that I just need to be upfront and honest with them, because I made the decision as an adult whether or not they “like” it.

I told my family not too long ago, and well…they haven’t been taking it very well. They’ve known for years that I was Christian, but without a church yet they knew I was Christian. I felt called to be Catholic for various reasons which I won’t go into for the purposes of this thread. But I’ll hear quack-pot responses such as “you can’t change who you were born as,” to “well after your husband dies (:confused:) you’ll be just like us again,” to the outright crazy “who gave you permission???” As if I need permission!

One of the long-standing arguments they’ve always thrown in my face about why my conversion is somehow “null” is how they perceive other Christians. I don’t know how many times I have to tell them-- I can’t speak for other Christians, and they can’t speak for me! If someone out there decides to call her/himself a Christian yet does everything the Bible says not to, I am not responsible for them. Yet my parents are always pointing out how “Christian white people” (because my family automatically associates Christians with being white:shrug:) are always getting divorced, sleeping around, doing drugs, ending up in jail, shaming their families, etc., therefore Christianity must be wrong. Egad!

I try to tell them that Jesus even said that he didn’t come “for the righteous” but came for the sinners and not a single person on this planet is sinless. Yeah, the soundwaves just don’t seem to work when I talk. I try to explain that Christianity/Catholicism isn’t just about a set of rules and protocol that “have” to be followed but then I get some sort of response that goes along the lines of “well, how is it Christian to get divorces 2 times?” or “how is it Christian to get pregnant when you aren’t married and live with your boyfriend?”

This is getting frustrating-- isn’t it my decision to follow God where He leads me? Isn’t it my decision as to what church I want to go to for the rest of my life? I don’t think I should have to justify anything to anyone as stubborn as that sounds. I mean, I sort of understood that this was difficult for friends to take and also for them but some of this is just ridiculous. And I mean, it’s getting more ridiculous than typical anti-Catholic sentiment.
Click to expand...
 
clmowry said:
A belief system must be judged on the merits of it’s teachings and the body of it’s works. Not on the worse example you can find from some members of that group.

Chuck
Click to expand...
Unfortunately my family has a difficult time separating faith groups from cultural groups because of the way we were all raised. My family sees Christians as being a “lowly” group of people who like to talk big but don’t deliver. Unfortunately for lots of people that is true…but then again that’s typical of the human population in general.

Then there’s the “how do you know what you believe in is even true when everyone keeps splitting off and forming a new group?”
 
spunjalebi said:
Then there’s the “how do you know what you believe in is even true when everyone keeps splitting off and forming a new group?”
Click to expand...
Well it’s a good thing you joined the Catholic Church then. We don’t at least suffer from this problem.

What faith does your family practice?

Chuck
 
ChantalM said:
I made a commitment to Christ early this summer with a group called CCO (Catholic Christian Outreach), an outreach to Catholic youth and young adults forming leaders in the Church (Canadian, and I believe there may be an equivalent in the States), and it’s been a wild ride ever since (LOH, renewed interest in Scripture, Rosary etc.).
Click to expand...
This sounds really cool. Where can I learn more?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top