Explanation of "hating" ones family Bible verse

[sfleet]

So what does this scripture really mean? I ask because there would be a lot of turning away from family if everyone held up this set of verses. At what point does some turn away from family…not to stop loving them but to “leave” them and do your own thing according to Christ. I put this in the family forum as I beleive families struggle with issues of faith all the time and I think those wages that are driven by faith can cause a lot of heartache, frustration, and doubt that someone is doing the right thing.

My wife sharing this article made me think more about it.

christianitytoday.com/women/2011/july/why-we-dont-use-natural-family-planning.html#bmb=1

Sayings on Discipleship.[f] 25 Great crowds were traveling with him, and he turned and addressed them, 26 “If any one comes to me without hating his father[g] and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.

14:25–33 This collection of sayings, most of which are peculiar to Luke, focuses on the total dedication necessary for the disciple of Jesus. No attachment to family (Lk 14:26) or possessions (Lk 14:33) can stand in the way of the total commitment demanded of the disciple. Also, acceptance of the call to be a disciple demands readiness to accept persecution and suffering (Lk 14:27) and a realistic assessment of the hardships and costs (Lk 14:28–32).

 

[MaryT777]

My mother was a fallen away Catholic. When my children were younger she chastised me for leaving an “Easter Egg Hunt and Easter “party”” early to go to Church with my children. This was an all day family event.

I felt so sad she would say " Why do your kids have to go to Church during this fun day?"
in front of my kids. So we left and came back. Explained to the girls why we go to Church and because they were young explained it means a lot to me they come with me and we worship as a family and they were fine with it.

I called my mother the next day to say we are a Church going family and if there will be another comment like that again at a "Family Fun day Easter Party " or any other Church going day or Holiday that we would not be attending at that location.

And I meant it.

And it never happened again.

Mary.

 

[captainrick]

It’s wonderful when parents and children can participate together in Mass or Church functions! But if my parents (who have now passed on) needed me, I would take care of my parents first.

To those who follow by the literal word of the Bible: Sorry, that’s my opinion.

 

[sfleet]

It’s wonderful when parents and children can participate together in Mass or Church functions! But if my parents (who have now passed on) needed me, I would take care of my parents first.

To those who follow by the literal word of the Bible: Sorry, that’s my opinion.
Today 8:24 am

I think you are missing the point. It isn’t a matter of a family member “needing” you it is a matter of the family member keeping you from your faith or obeying the Church’s teachings. IE. missing mass on sunday, or when one family member upholds a teaching of the church but another one doesn’t and won’t(nfp).

I’m not talking about abandoning your family who is sick or I’ll or any real problem.

 

[Xantippe]

It’s wonderful when parents and children can participate together in Mass or Church functions! But if my parents (who have now passed on) needed me, I would take care of my parents first.

To those who follow by the literal word of the Bible: Sorry, that’s my opinion.

There’s presumably a difference between need and want. Frail elderly parents might genuinely need help that would interfere with the practice of the faith, while healthy, younger controlling parents might just have wants that would interfere.

Presumably, there are dispensations available for the care of the sick.

 

[Xantippe]

Also, particular individuals have particular callings.

If St. Francis Xavier had been informed that his parents were ailing, I’m not sure he would have rushed home from Asia.

 

[captainrick]

There’s presumably a difference between need and want. Frail elderly parents might genuinely need help that would interfere with the practice of the faith, while healthy, younger controlling parents might just have wants that would interfere.

Presumably, there are dispensations available for the care of the sick.

Yes! That’s what I meant! Not a family party or cookout, but my elderly parents truly needing my help.

 

[Tomdstone]

26 “If any one comes to me without hating his father[g] and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. …(Lk 14:28–32).

I don’t hate my mother and father. What does that mean?

 

[Xantippe]

I don’t hate my mother and father. What does that mean?

There’s a really good bit in C.S. Lewis (I can’t quite remember where–The Four Loves?) where he talks about this passage.

Lewis thinks that we often embrace for ourselves scripture that is actually intended for more spiritually advanced people than ourselves. He quotes a novelistic treatment of the Gospel where all of the rest of the disciples are aghast at the hating mother and father message–all except for Judas. Judas takes it all in stride–he’s quite happy to hate father and mother!

Presumably the verse should be understood in light of the need to love our neighbor (which would include our parents and family) as ourselves.

The Gospel would have been preached in a time and a place where family could be (very frequently) an idol. I think that still happens today, but it’s less of a temptation in our more individualistic culture.

 

[Tomdstone]

He quotes a novelistic treatment of the Gospel where all of the rest of the disciples are aghast at the hating mother and father message–all except for Judas. Judas takes it all in stride–he’s quite happy to hate father and mother! .

Well are Catholics supposed to follow Christ in this or not?

 

[Xantippe]

Well are Catholics supposed to follow Christ in this or not?

You know we’re not sola scriptura, right?

 

[SMH_2015]

Maybe the OP was requesting an explanation of the “conflict” between the verse in question & the command to “love they neighbor” & “honor thy father & mother”…?

 

[sfleet]

Maybe the OP was requesting an explanation of the “conflict” between the verse in question & the command to “love they neighbor” & “honor thy father & mother”…?

Yes in a sense that is what I was looking for. At what point does one decide to love or continue to love neighbor, mother, family, etc vs. Leaving them, not calously but choosing God over them?

 

[Soletluna]

I think it means that we should ‘hate’ things that separate us from God, and loving ones family can indeed separate us from God, when we replace God’s love with our love for the family and the family’s love for us. Even the pagans love their family, but this love can be for selfish reasons (wanting their family to succeed materially, having children for company, having security tied by blood, not being stigmatized for being unmarried/childless), and not necessarily Real Love, that is, loving their family because they love God. This kind of love doesn’t separate oneself from God.

I think ‘hating’ ones family means loving and being charitable to your family, but only because one loves God. Total and complete love belongs to God alone, and when someone (including family members) demand that sort of total love and abandoning the Faith, then one must decide between the two. ‘Hating’ your family means Loving God more.

 

[ichabode]

I don’t hate my mother and father. What does that mean?

The verse means you must love God above all else. The bible translation is a literal translation. If it was written as a translation into our language it would state, “you should love God more than you love your father and mother.”

Hebrew language did not have superlatives (good, better, best), and to speak about some being more important it was expressed in two ways. On way was repeat something three times like Holy Holy Holy would mean the holiest. At mass we keep this form when we pray, “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault” note we are not saying we only have one fault we all have faults plural. The other way was to use a contrast like in Romans 9:13 "As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.” Some bad commentators actually think or have proposed God hated Esau, but that is incorrect as God does not hate anyone it is only a Semitism being expressed.

There are many examples through out scripture like this. Another one is “call no man father” again Jesus is not telling us to never call a man Father he was using the language he spoke in to instruct his disciples that your Father in heaven is greater than any other father.

 

[Xantippe]

The verse means you must love God above all else. The bible translation is a literal translation. If it was written as a translation into our language it would state, “you should love God more than you love your father and mother.”

Hebrew language did not have superlatives (good, better, best), and to speak about some being more important it was expressed in two ways. On way was repeat something three times like Holy Holy Holy would mean the holiest. At mass we keep this form when we pray, “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault” note we are not saying we only have one fault we all have faults plural. The other way was to use a contrast like in Romans 9:13 "As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.” Some bad commentators actually think or have proposed God hated Esau, but that is incorrect as God does not hate anyone it is only a Semitism being expressed.

There are many examples through out scripture like this. Another one is “call no man father” again Jesus is not telling us to never call a man Father he was using the language he spoke in to instruct his disciples that your Father in heaven is greater than any other father.

I don’t know about the grammar, but the Jacob and Esau example is very interesting, as Jacob (the one God “loved”) had a rough life with lots of ups and downs while Esau (the one that God “hated”) had a much quieter, easier life, by all appearances.