Exploring Catholicism- having trouble attending Mass with my young children there

[KathleenT]

I have a two year old and I typically attend without another adult, so I completely understand.

1. Children change every week. Some weeks are good, some not so good. So don’t feel bad if you had a hard time, we have all been there.
2. Distractions do happen during Mass, even without kids. Our Church is very old and open to everyone. You have fellow Catholics who cannot see well, hear well, are fighting emotional/physical battles. Just do your best and keep bringing your attention back to the purpose of the Mass and God. It is about your effort not your results. Feel free to say a mental prayer if you need too. I often go through the Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be if I miss something
3. Take advantage of the Church. Use the statues and windows to distract your children (and also help them think of higher things) Try not to sit in the same place every time so they have new things to look at.
4. Put them between you and try to encourage them to follow the change of positions. Toddlers love to stand on kneelers. The movement in mass really helps.
5. Keep trying and good luck.

 

[Greenfields]

Something I found very helpful taking my four little ones to mass on my own was sitting with some stranger or other adult on the opposite end of the pew .And not being in the habit of letting the children out of the seating into the aisle.
Having said that, all children are different in attention span .Oh, picking a mass time that works in with them being well fed and nap times is soo important.
All the best!

 

[MikeInVA]

And I would also suggest that when your kids make noise and people look at you they are not condemning you. Especially since you are new, people are more curious than judgemental (usually). Screaming in the pew isn’t good, but normal kids being normal kids isn’t a huge issue.

 

[Horton]

I would continue to go to Mass as a family and work with your kids on how to behave in church, of course according to their age. You know your children best so choose a Mass that would suit them, such as do they get cranky at nap time? If so Mass at nap time may not be the best one to attend.

Do not make the cry room a reward. I see families in my parish who only go to the cry room for Mass where they kids get to play with toys while mom or dad ignores their behavior. If you have to take a crying child out bring him/her back in as soon as they calm down.

A couple things I wouldn’t let my grandkids do when they come to Mass with me. Run back & forth in the pew, physically disturb others around us, play on the ground, or talk loud. They are not little anymore but they sure do behave during Mass. It helps that Grammy takes them for a treat afterwards.

 

[phil19034]

Also, as scary as this sounds, try sitting up front. Your little one will be able to see what is going on and might stay engaged.

I’ve done this with my 4 year old and it kind of worked. Though the whole mass, I felt eyeballs drilling into the back of my head

 

[catholicMO]

Aww! I’m sorry you’ve felt the eyeballs! I have thought I felt them…but it’s mostly been kind older ladies who tell me to keep it up and don’t be discouraged and not come. (Make sure you do that too! It does get better!! He sits pretty quietly now that we’ve been doing it for 3 years!)
I have had to leave from the front with a kicking preschooler screaming and crying…like so bad that the deacon had to pause to let us leave so he could be heard! I felt the eyeballs then!