E
Equites_Christi
Guest
Hello CAF,
I know I have asked to be in your intentions before, but I feel I am still in need. I still struggle with sexual impurity. I have been getting better, but today after 9 days I fell…I feel so terrible, I feel so selfish for asking others and Mary to pray for me when later I end up spurning their efforts. When in purity I remind myself of the pain that comes after sinning, the awful death of the soul…I’m listening to the St. John Passion by Bach, and I feel like I have dealt a blow to all the souls who cared for me, slapped Christ in the face while he hung on the cross and spat upon the Spirit. I reflect on times when God has displayed his justice to Man, and I think of how I should end up as just another lost soul cast out of the grace, memory and love of God.
I get infuriated at myself knowing that God never passes by me a temptation I cannot resist, and I am without excuse for buffetting him. I get infuriated knowing how I made null and void all my careful quelling of temptation- I have recently begun to chant the Tantum Ergo, which is effective.
Maybe your prayers are useless, maybe after all my striving and struggle I will ultimately arrive to hellfire. But nonetheless, I do ask to be in your intentions.
I know I have asked to be in your intentions before, but I feel I am still in need. I still struggle with sexual impurity. I have been getting better, but today after 9 days I fell…I feel so terrible, I feel so selfish for asking others and Mary to pray for me when later I end up spurning their efforts. When in purity I remind myself of the pain that comes after sinning, the awful death of the soul…I’m listening to the St. John Passion by Bach, and I feel like I have dealt a blow to all the souls who cared for me, slapped Christ in the face while he hung on the cross and spat upon the Spirit. I reflect on times when God has displayed his justice to Man, and I think of how I should end up as just another lost soul cast out of the grace, memory and love of God.
I get infuriated at myself knowing that God never passes by me a temptation I cannot resist, and I am without excuse for buffetting him. I get infuriated knowing how I made null and void all my careful quelling of temptation- I have recently begun to chant the Tantum Ergo, which is effective.
Maybe your prayers are useless, maybe after all my striving and struggle I will ultimately arrive to hellfire. But nonetheless, I do ask to be in your intentions.