Extraordinary Ministers Inappropriate Dress

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Aramis said:
I, too, would like to see the alb used for lay ministers involved in the Liturgy…

… including lectors, EMHC’s, and cantors.
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I’ll vote for that. I’m a cantor, and it seems as though each Sunday that I serve as cantor, I spend a good deal of time panicking in front of my closet: “is this decent? Is this?” (Admittedly I am somewhat scrupulous about my clothing at times; probably most of it is decent, but then I start worrying about whether I should even own trousers for church, or whether my 2-inch chunky-heeled boots are indecent because they have heels, or if I should never wear a certain calf-length skirt again because a random guy tried to chat me up the last time I wore it.) Knowing that regardless of my attire, all of it would be covered by an alb would give me great peace of mind.
 
What kind of training or guidelines are provided for the EHMCs? I just served as one last week for the first time, and during the brief how-to session ( 1 hour), the dress code was discussed. There’s a small guidebook and it is listed in there as well.

Modesty was approached as being as non-distracting as possible. The role is one in which the individual shouldn’t stand out and that was explicitly stated. You’re there to serve, not be in a starring role.

Perhaps there just is no documentation?

One other thing to consider is volunteering to become an EHMC yourself. Like many on this forum, I think it is a position terribly overused. Yet the request for more volunteers has been in the parish letter for months. I decided to do it so that I could perhaps serve as a role model for modest dressing and respectful conduct. That, and if I don’t volunteer, a clappy-happy person might instead! I think the more the lay ministries are filled with orthodox people, the better off the Church is.

Your suggestions might come off as more helpful if you are a volunteer. Perhaps the priest is worried that he will lose precious volunteers if he issues a dress code.
 
I understand…

Here you are thinking about receiving Jesus, possibly singing or praying, then you step up, bow and as you look at the Host you get a cleavage shot. Whaaa?
What do you do, I just close my eyes and then try to forget somehow.

For you ladies, think about the first time you saw a plumbers crack, now mix that with the Church and what you get. As disturbed mind.

Complain to your pastor, charitably but this is something that should be addressed. I did this in my parish and they did request the EMHC’s to comply in changing their habits.

God Bless
Scylla
 
Califman831 said:
Am not sure who to pray for, the ladies conveying the word of the Lord or the ones in the bleachers thinking sexual thoughts. The streetwalker image is probably grossly exaggerated.
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I think the reference to the plumber’s crack later in this post is more accurate. Sometimes you can’t help the thoughts that pop into one’s head.
 
Sheeniac said:
I think the reference to the plumber’s crack later in this post is more accurate. Sometimes you can’t help the thoughts that pop into one’s head.
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I think so too. Clothing style is a personal thing, what one person finds objective another does not. I like the idea of a church dress code since that does not single out any one particular person.Maybe giving the speaker a long shawl as a gift may help. Those things are well ventilated, cover things that some people deem inappropriate exposed, and make a nice thank you.
 
lepanto said:
At my local parish there are 10 extraordinary ministers scheduled for each Sunday Mass (although the size of the congregation calls for only 2 or 3 max).

Regardless, of the 10, typically 9 of them will be women. Of the 9, 3 or 4 will invariably be dressed like streetwalkers during the summer months. Short miniskirts, hot pants (are they still called that?), skin-tight sleeveless tops with low necklines, massive hoop earrings, etc. I’m not making this up.

As a man, I find these women incredibly distracting. Although I find their lack of tact and class repulsive, at the same time my weak side can’t help but sneak glances at them when I should be focussing on the Christ whom I’m about to receive. Lately I’ve been using only the priest’s communion line for the host, but that only helps so much. I don’t bother to receive the precious blood.

I have prayed over this and yes, I did write the pastor (he never replied). I don’t think it bothers him at all since this has been the norm for years.

What’s a man to do except find another parish? (Please don’t suggest that I talk to these women.) :confused:
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Why don’t you do a fast of bread and water for a week to amend for these grievances? 😃

Jim
 
I would definitely make an appointment with the priest concerning this matter.

This kind of dress is absolutely inappropriate for Mass. Believe me, men are not the only ones embarassed by women showing too much, particularly at Mass. As a woman, it completely upsets me that this is allowed to go on – and I go home wondering where I can find another parish.

If the extraordinary ministers are allowed to dress this way, we can already surmise that the priest lacks holiness, but really, doesn’t he have any come sense or taste even?

When I’ve let this kind of thing go in the past, I usually end up having a low opinion of the parish and eventually I leave.

Pastors should realize that many more will leave before they report their disgust.

Be wise, and instruct your parishioners on the proper respect, through modesty, for Christ and His sacrifice.
 
urban-hermit said:
I also am a fan of the alb for extraordinary ministers 👍 It really does set the tone for the holy task the EM is doing and helps to reinforce the faith of those coming up for communion.
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I believe that’s not allowed, as that would blur the distinction between the ordinary ministers and the extraordinary ministers.
 
lepanto said:
I am not ordained, therefore I am not qualified.
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Ordination is a condition that would disqualify a person from becoming an EMHC. I can understand if you do not feel qualified, and be reassured that nobody is worthy of it.
 
I’m sure this has happened to everyone - but who defines modesty for each person?

I saw a lady one time with a low plunge neck line and a red boa of feathers around her bare shoulders. I never saw Father sweat like that before - I bet his phone was ringing off the hook.

God bless them for their service -but couldn’t we say they should all wear pants and pants suits? Maybe that would help.
 
lepanto said:
No, it’s not.
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Having actually met and talked with prostitutes while working as a security officer, I know first hand they are very sad section of our family that desperately needs to learn of God’s mercy and love for them. A lot of them are addicted to drugs, come from dysfunctional homes, and are beaten if they even think of leaving their situations by their pimps. if they enter the confines of the church, do not cast them out because they do not look like June Cleaver, welcome them in God’s name, as Jesus welcomes all sinners to travel a holier road.
 
ltbpoe43 said:
God bless them for their service -but couldn’t we say they should all wear pants and pants suits? Maybe that would help.
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That opens a whole 'nother can of worms from the “women should not wear pants to Mass” set 🙂

The Pastor in our Parish sets the dress code for those who serve. Ask your Pastor about it.
 
Califman831 said:
Am not sure who to pray for, the ladies conveying the word of the Lord or the ones in the bleachers thinking sexual thoughts. The streetwalker image is probably grossly exaggerated.

Luke 7:44 And turning to the woman, he said unto Simon: Dost thou see this woman? I entered into thy house, thou gavest me no water for my feet; but she with tears hath washed my feet, and with her hairs hath wiped them. 45 Thou gavest me no kiss; but she, since she came in, hath not ceased to kiss my feet. 46 My head with oil thou didst not anoint; but she with ointment hath anointed my feet. 47 Wherefore I say to thee: Many sins are forgiven her, because she hath loved much. But to whom less is forgiven, he loveth less.
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The above passage is about forgiveness and socializing with those of a lower class, it is not about modesty.

We assume that after Mary Magdalene was forgiven (and cured of seven devils) she became a different woman. We know that the saving grace of God, and a love of God, increases our desire to please Him and dress modestly. MM was no doubt a changed woman and I absolutely believe she became a modest woman.

In my opinion, it is disrespectful, possibly blasphemous, to dress immodestly in the House of God. It is far worse to distribute the Body of Christ to others as an extraordinary minister in this way.

I understand that some, incredibly, do not realize they are a sexual temptation to the men in church. Even more unbelievable, are the number of people who don’t understand their culpability in leading others into sin.

The Blessed Mother at Fatima told the children that more people went to Hell for sexual sins than for any other reason.

Sadly, moral teachings of these kind are rare indeed. So much so that any pastor who stands firm and teaches traditional morality, finds their congregation growing by leaps and bounds. The people (and families in particular) are starving for priests to take a moral stand with courage and conviction.

Morality, compassion and empathy, can all be taught simultaneously – Jesus did it with Great Love.
 
Califman831 said:
Am not sure who to pray for, the ladies conveying the word of the Lord or the ones in the bleachers thinking sexual thoughts. The streetwalker image is probably grossly exaggerated.

Luke 7:44 And turning to the woman, he said unto Simon: Dost thou see this woman? I entered into thy house, thou gavest me no water for my feet; but she with tears hath washed my feet, and with her hairs hath wiped them. 45 Thou gavest me no kiss; but she, since she came in, hath not ceased to kiss my feet. 46 My head with oil thou didst not anoint; but she with ointment hath anointed my feet. 47 Wherefore I say to thee: Many sins are forgiven her, because she hath loved much. But to whom less is forgiven, he loveth less.
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I’d bet anything that when this repentant prostitute came to Jesus she no longer had her skirt hitched way up nor her neckline pulled way down, nor her clothes so tight that every contour of her most private parts was obviously visible. Unfortunately that’s the way SOME of the women EMHCs dress in my parish. I hasten to add some of the men are not much better - they might not be immodest, but grotty old T-shirts, ragged cut-off shorts, and rubber thongs (“flip-flops” to you Yanks) don’t show much respect for their role of serving at the Table of the Lord.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by urban-hermit
I also am a fan of the alb for extraordinary ministers It really does set the tone for the holy task the EM is doing and helps to reinforce the faith of those coming up for communion.
lepanto said:
I believe that’s not allowed, as that would blur the distinction between the ordinary ministers and the extraordinary ministers.
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No it wouldn’t. The alb (the plain white garment) is the symbol of baptism and all baptised people may wear it.

If you get distracted by “weird shoes”, that’s your problem. Although I do hold my breath every time I see a couple of our lady EMHCs descend the sanctuary steps holding the chalice and wearing 12 cm heels.
 
ChristianVet said:
The above passage is about forgiveness and socializing with those of a lower class, it is not about modesty.
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I was not emphasizing modesty but the judgment of others. The bible does mention how much time this woman had to dress before coming to glorify jesus nor whether she had other clothing. What if she she was a street tramp, it would have been rather difficult for her to go clean up and put on a nice dress. What she wore may have been the only thing she had. The bible mentions how this woman treated the lord greater than the owner of the house he was visiting, that jesus knew her many sins, and that he forgave her. Her mindset satisfied the lord. What is more important than that?
 
One of the characteristics of women’s attire is that, you have to admit, there is such a wide range of taste and expression, whose purpose is soley to get men’s attention – which goes beyond vanity.

I think the vanity clothes are worn to get other women’s attention.

Thing is, it works, unless you condition yourself to ignore it.
 
Califman831 said:
I was not emphasizing modesty but the judgment of others. The bible does mention how much time this woman had to dress before coming to glorify jesus nor whether she had other clothing. What if she she was a street tramp, it would have been rather difficult for her to go clean up and put on a nice dress. What she wore may have been the only thing she had.
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We’re not talking here about women who show up and worship at mass immodestly dressed. We’re talking about immodestly dressed women serving regularly as EMHC’s.

An EMHC must be a practicing Catholic in good standing and must be able to commit to a schedule. They must also go through training. I don’t know too many “street tramps” who would be able to fulfill those obligations.

There’s a difference between extending charity to our less fortunate brothers and sisters, and expecting Catholics who have committed to serve in a public ministry to dress in an appropriate manner.
 
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