Extremely complicated family discord

[crenfro]

How do I remedy this?

Hello.

And thank you for your post which resonated with me.

My parents are still alive but elderly, and I was asked to be executor of their will a few years ago. Fast forward a little, and one of my parents told me they were going to disown me. Then all was forgiven, but by then I’d had it. Now I keep trying to let God be my father who takes care of me, not my parents. I have to pray very often to forgive my parents - very often. It’s one of the best cures for resentment.

I’m always in financial trouble and money was stressed more than anything while I was growing up, so I’m having a spiritual fight here and I want to be on the winning side but it is so hard. I go to confession and confess my anger towards my parents just about every week.

Perhaps talking with a good, holy priest about your situation would help. I don’t know what to tell you though, other than only to do what is right.

I’m so sorry there is so much pain in your family and will place all of you in the enclosed garden of the most sacred heart of our Mother Mary.

 

[The_Old_Maid]

One of the wisest proverbs I’ve ever heard is this:

A will is a tool that the dead use to impose their wishes upon the living.

If you become/remain executrix of Dad’s estate, you risk getting sued by anyone who doesn’t like the result. (Possibly also if you become/remain executrix of Mom’s estate, because those are the same players.)

They may be trying to get you to do it for free because 1) they think you’re easy to control; or 2) to save money of an attorney. An outsider would have the right to be paid for this horrid job you’ve undertaken. But I suggest that the money would be well-spent.

Tell both parents that you don’t think you’re smart enough to do the job and that they should have an attorney execute their estates. (If this family has tormented you in the past, the odds are good that they have, in fact, called you stupid, so it’s not like they can take it back now.)

This may make things miserable for you now, but what will happen later if you do nothing could be much worse. Yes, they may cut you out of an inheritance, but no healthy adult is owed an inheritance anyway.

Frankly, you may want to talk about this with the attorney handling your own will.