I wear long skirts almost exclusively. I’ve kept all of my modest jeans and pants, but my promise to myself is that as they wear out, I will not replace them except to have one or two for chores around the house, hiking, etc. All of my
new clothing purchases are long skirts and dresses. As for tops, those are more easily fixed with a well-pinned lightweight pashmina - I buy whatever color top I want, and then make sure to cover if it’s skimpy. I’m very practiced at that.
I’m twenty-eight, hang out with my extremely fashionable Protestant friends, and I might even draw attention to myself, especially given my age - and I welcome it, so that I can start a discussion with another woman about how much better I feel in my life and as a Christian. Everyone’s vanity is different, but I bet I’m not alone; my vanity, the crippling kind that kept me from concentrating on my vocation and being a spiritual sister to people I met, was my body. If I wasn’t happy about how thin or fat or toned my legs and abs and arms were, I was obsessed by how they weren’t. My interactions with men were always defined, it seemed, by my looks - half my fault, half theirs.
Modesty does change from place to place, but if the world falls, do I have to go along with it, making sure my hem is merely an inch or so longer so as to avoid standing out, even if I feel uncomfortable? I don’t judge other women and their own grasp of their own modesty and sexuality (who am I to say?) but I am much closer to the Catholic I want to be when I have taken the issue of my body off the table in a flowy skirt. I force people to deal with me, not my anatomy. I do feel protected from the world. Some might call that bad; still, the world has shown me that we (especially women) are judged on the basis of horrible things that degrade human value, daily, and so I welcome the protection. To me, it’s a feminist act, and I count myself as a proud Catholic feminist.
As for the mantilla, I wear it, even when I’m the only one in Mass doing so. To me, Mass is an extraordinary event, requiring an extraordinary display of obedience to God. Now, it shouldn’t be
just a display - but that goes without saying. I think everyone knows that all the lace in the world can’t help a heart that’s not truly in the Mass, and that would be true with or without a covering and is true of every gesture and word we say in Mass. What’s not lovely or modest is judging the private and interior hearts of others, suggesting that women who do cover are only doing it for selfish reasons. God knows their hearts, not we.
When the answers are muddy, live and let live - that’s a modest maxim we can live by.
Here are some places I like to shop for long skirts and dresses. They’re very modern and not the least bit burqua-like. Of course, one percent of the things they have are modest, but unless you’re furnishing a whole new wardrobe at once, you should be able to find a piece or two, consistently, every season - often more:
www.sundancecatalog.com
www.jpeterman.com
www.garnethill.com
www.jjill.com
www.peruvianconnection.com
www.bodenusa.com
www.anthropologie.com
I have beautiful long dresses and skirts from Old Navy, Gap, NY&Co., Target, etc. They usually each offer one or two per season. As for support of sweatshops, almost all of the “bad companies” signed the Saipan Agreement years ago to make restitution and be overseen by a third-party human rights watch. The major companies who refused to sign that agreement are Nike, Brooks Brothers, Levis, and Fruit of the Loom. Target was the first of the big box stores to agree to make all of their in-house brand name clothing under the auspices of the human rights group, so I like to support Target.