Eye contact with Priest

[ProVobis]

Maybe I’m missing something here but what does ad orientem have to do with eye contact with the priest in the communion line or at the communion rail, when presumably the priest is facing the communicant?

Nothing. I misread the concern. Was in a hurry to get to Mass. Sorry.

 

[HoneyBea]

Just to clarify the so called " eye contact" was during distributing communion not the consecration. I honestly didn’t even remember making prolonged eye contact with the priest. I usually look at the host and maybe sometimes the priest…I don’t really know…because before this incident I didn’t feel the need to obsess over it.

Also, my mother taught me to look at the host and say “my lord and my god” during the consecration. I’ve been doing it for years, but I did not know this was an indulgence. Interesting!

I looked up the church where this happened and it’s a cathedral of jesuit order. I’m not sure if that makes a difference. This priest was very old not sure if that makes a difference either. Just thought I’d throw that out there. I too had never ever been taught this so it came as quite a shock to me and it was actually after a very long time of being away from the church…I remember thinking to myself that maybe they changed the rules while I was away. I felt very embarrassed and ashamed. I did not return to church for quite a while after that but thankfully I eventually did : )

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Ok, so for my entire life I never paid attention to whether I was looking at the priest or the host while receiving eurcharist. I would do both, but it was never an issue for me. Until about 2 years ago I visited another church and the priest took the time out of mass to scold me for making eye contact with him and said something along the lines of blasphemy. I can’t remember all what he said because I was so mortified. I didn’t even know this was wrong. It was a traumatic experience and now every time I receive the eurcharist I’m pretty much terrified of “doing it wrong”. At my new church I’ve noticed out of the corne of my eye, the priest smiling at me while giving the host ( I don’t dare look at him) but now I’m so confused. Why is he trying to make eye cont at with me if this is some sort of abomination? I’m really tired of feeling so anxious and confused about something that’s suppose to be so sacred and beautiful. Can someone please clarify for me what this is all about. Thank you.

This sounds odd. So you are the only person in the entire Church who has looked this man in the eye? Are you sure there is not more to it than you were just looking at him?

Either way ad orientem would be right up Father’s alley here!

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Just to clarify the so called " eye contact" was during distributing communion not the consecration. I honestly didn’t even remember making prolonged eye contact with the priest. I usually look at the host and maybe sometimes the priest…I don’t really know…because before this incident I didn’t feel the need to obsess over it.

Also, my mother taught me to look at the host and say “my lord and my god” during the consecration. I’ve been doing it for years, but I did not know this was an indulgence. Interesting!

I looked up the church where this happened and it’s a cathedral of jesuit order. I’m not sure if that makes a difference. This priest was very old not sure if that makes a difference either. Just thought I’d throw that out there. I too had never ever been taught this so it came as quite a shock to me and it was actually after a very long time of being away from the church…I remember thinking to myself that maybe they changed the rules while I was away. I felt very embarrassed and ashamed. I did not return to church for quite a while after that but thankfully I eventually did : )

What is it that you are doing different that the Priest would have to instruct you with? Do you notice others that look at the priest?

 

[felsguy]

Unless it was something like glaring at him in anger or winking at him in flirtation, I’m hard pressed to imagine what the problem would be. And even if you were, (I know you weren’t) I can’t imagine that it would be reason to interrupt Mass to scold you.

There are over 400,00 Catholic priests in the world and I’ve heard tell that there may be one here or there with some peculiar ideas. Sort of like what you can run into among us posters on CAF.

By the way, other than looking in a mirror, doesn’t it require two people to make eye contact? Probably better that you didn’t ask him that. :yup:

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Ok, so for my entire life I never paid attention to whether I was looking at the priest or the host while receiving eurcharist. I would do both, but it was never an issue for me. Until about 2 years ago I visited another church and the priest took the time out of mass to scold me for making eye contact with him and said something along the lines of blasphemy. I can’t remember all what he said because I was so mortified. I didn’t even know this was wrong. It was a traumatic experience and now every time I receive the eurcharist I’m pretty much terrified of “doing it wrong”. At my new church I’ve noticed out of the corne of my eye, the priest smiling at me while giving the host ( I don’t dare look at him) but now I’m so confused. Why is he trying to make eye cont at with me if this is some sort of abomination? I’m really tired of feeling so anxious and confused about something that’s suppose to be so sacred and beautiful. Can someone please clarify for me what this is all about. Thank you.

That priest did something wrong. You did not.

 

[HoneyBea]

What is it that you are doing different that the Priest would have to instruct you with? Do you notice others that look at the priest?

I was visiting this church so I don’t know what the customs were and I wasn’t paying attention to anyone else. I didn’t even know I had done anything wrong until later in mass when he spoke up about looking at the host.

Unless it was something like glaring at him in anger or winking at him in flirtation, I’m hard pressed to imagine what the problem would be. And even if you were, (I know you weren’t) I can’t imagine that it would be reason to interrupt Mass to scold you.

There are over 400,00 Catholic priests in the world and I’ve heard tell that there may be one here or there with some peculiar ideas. Sort of like what you can run into among us posters on CAF.

By the way, other than looking in a mirror, doesn’t it require two people to make eye contact? Probably better that you didn’t ask him that. :yup:

Before I posted this I tried to google this issue to figure it out on my own and came across a website praytellblog.com/index.php/2012/10/23/ministry-of-the-eyes/ …with some comments…apparently some people do think you are not suppose to look at the priest either. Sometning about custody of the eyes.

And no I was not making any faces or winking. I thought I was showing reverence nothing more.

Either way I feel much better now about not having to have anxiety if I accidentally make eye contact. Thanks so much for the feedback. I don’t feel like such a total loser now lol

 

[HoneyBea]

Oh! I just remembered an additional detail. He did say something about saying amen… I think what he was saying was that when I say “amen” I need to be looking at the host and not him. Again, I didn’t even realize I was looking at him when I said amen. But does this make more sense? Should I be looking at the host when I say amen? Maybe that’s what got him so worked up about it and not the eye contact itself?

 

[Brendan_64]

I don’t know if any Catholics are aware of it but there’s a partial indulgence of looking at the consecrated Host and saying “Meus Dominus et Meus Deus” (My Lord and my God.)

Is it true that it is forbidden to say this out loud? Can it be whispered or must it be ‘said’ internally?

 

[ProVobis]

Is it true that it is forbidden to say this out loud? Can it be whispered or must it be ‘said’ internally?

Good question. I suppose it could be said internally; after all, God can read thoughts. But I’m sure someone will disagree with me and say, unless your lips move, it doesn’t count.

BTW, this indulgence is written in some of the handmissals used in the EF. As are some of the other indulgences, which I believe are still valid.

 

[peter_the_roman]

Stop worrying about actions that have no eternal consequences…weather or not you make eye contact with the priest will not determine your fate for the rest of eternity! “For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do.”

 

[houston1]

Ok, so for my entire life I never paid attention to whether I was looking at the priest or the host while receiving eurcharist. I would do both, but it was never an issue for me. Until about 2 years ago I visited another church and the priest took the time out of mass to scold me for making eye contact with him and said something along the lines of blasphemy. I can’t remember all what he said because I was so mortified. I didn’t even know this was wrong. It was a traumatic experience and now every time I receive the eurcharist I’m pretty much terrified of “doing it wrong”. At my new church I’ve noticed out of the corne of my eye, the priest smiling at me while giving the host ( I don’t dare look at him) but now I’m so confused. Why is he trying to make eye cont at with me if this is some sort of abomination? I’m really tired of feeling so anxious and confused about something that’s suppose to be so sacred and beautiful. Can someone please clarify for me what this is all about. Thank you.

Ok, I’ve read most of your responses. Here are my thoughts. I do not think there is a “one size fits all” answer here. As members of Christ’s body, we should be given the holy freedom to do what brings us closer to God. If making eye contact with the priest draws one closer to God, then let him or her receive in that manner. If eye contact were wrong, the Catholic Church would have this defined somewhere.

I know a religious sister who serves as a EMHC. She says that when she serves, she deliberately looks into the eyes of the communicant saying, “the body of Christ” with the reasoning that we all are the “body of Christ.” Those in her religious order instructed her to do it this way. By looking into the eyes of the communicant and saying those words, the EMHC is, in actuality, looking at the “body of Christ.”

Lastly, OP, I recommend that since this has been bothering you for two years, you might consider talking with the priest who chastised you and meekly explain your concern over what he said. We are all called to love and, perhaps, God may be calling you to help open the eyes of this priest to remind him that he can better love his flock by using a gentler way with them. Perhaps, he didn’t realize his words were harsh to you. God may be calling you to help him.

These are just my thoughts. I am praying for you.

houston1

 

[HoneyBea]

Thanks again for all the (name removed by moderator)ut. I’m not at all worried about it anymore. Now, I’m just more curious as to trying to figure out the Fathers source for his instructions. Oh well. I forgive him lol

As I stated before this was a church I was visiting out of town so I doubt I will ever be returning.

Anyways thanks again God bless : )

 

[ccmcmg]

Ok, so for my entire life I never paid attention to whether I was looking at the priest or the host while receiving eurcharist. I would do both, but it was never an issue for me. Until about 2 years ago I visited another church and the priest took the time out of mass to scold me for making eye contact with him and said something along the lines of blasphemy. I can’t remember all what he said because I was so mortified. I didn’t even know this was wrong. It was a traumatic experience and now every time I receive the eurcharist I’m pretty much terrified of “doing it wrong”. At my new church I’ve noticed out of the corne of my eye, the priest smiling at me while giving the host ( I don’t dare look at him) but now I’m so confused. Why is he trying to make eye cont at with me if this is some sort of abomination? I’m really tired of feeling so anxious and confused about something that’s suppose to be so sacred and beautiful. Can someone please clarify for me what this is all about. Thank you.

I was visiting this church so I don’t know what the customs were and I wasn’t paying attention to anyone else. I didn’t even know I had done anything wrong until later in mass when he spoke up about looking at the host.

Before I posted this I tried to google this issue to figure it out on my own and came across a website praytellblog.com/index.php/2012/10/23/ministry-of-the-eyes/ …with some comments…apparently some people do think you are not suppose to look at the priest either. Sometning about custody of the eyes.

And no I was not making any faces or winking. I thought I was showing reverence nothing more.

Either way I feel much better now about not having to have anxiety if I accidentally make eye contact. Thanks so much for the feedback. I don’t feel like such a total loser now lol

I’m a little confused; you were visiting this church…and he spoke up DURING Mass, which would have been at what point after Communion? I’m not saying it couldn’t/didn’t happen, but that is strange. I know that you are a little sensitive to your interactions with priests, so keep that in mind as well. Could you have misunderstood at all?

 

[HoneyBea]

I’m a little confused; you were visiting this church…and he spoke up DURING Mass, which would have been at what point after Communion? I’m not saying it couldn’t/didn’t happen, but that is strange. I know that you are a little sensitive to your interactions with priests, so keep that in mind as well. Could you have misunderstood at all?

What are you confused about? Read my posts I answered all your questions already : )

And no I definitely did not misunderstand. The only thing I’m confused about is why he said it. I figured for sure someone would have any easy answer. He can’t be the only priest in the entire world who thinks this.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

I was confused too about when he spoke to you. At first, I pictured it as after Mass. Then I read in the Mass, so I could not picture that.

I think I made eye contact and smiled once because I remember a day I felt very happy and just happened to be one of the first to receive communion. It suddenly occured to me that I was smiling a happy smile as I stepped up and I felt kinda of embarrassed. But it didn’t seem to phase the priest. I have not thought about it again up til now. I am glad I wasn’t talked to. I can understand your feelings.

Glad you feel better now!

 

[HoneyBea]

It was at mass after the communion before the final blessing and I think after the communion prayer but I cant remember.

 

[Modern_Revert]

I never look directly at the priest. It feels weird! When I was a kid, we had a priest who would look US in the eye. It felt like he was scouring my soul for imperfections. However, I have no problem looking Eucharistic ministers in the eye…what does it all mean?

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

I’m not sure why the priest would object to your making eye contact with him. I’m an EMHC, and we were trained to make eye contact and smile at those who were receiving.

They actually tell you to do that?? I want to vomit.

We don’t have EMHC at my parish. We only receive from the priest, and we are strongly discouraged from making eye contact with the priest, especially the women. It’s a modesty of the eyes thing.

 

[jtkalehua88]

Ok, so for my entire life I never paid attention to whether I was looking at the priest or the host while receiving eurcharist. I would do both, but it was never an issue for me. Until about 2 years ago I visited another church and the priest took the time out of mass to scold me for making eye contact with him and said something along the lines of blasphemy. I can’t remember all what he said because I was so mortified. I didn’t even know this was wrong. It was a traumatic experience and now every time I receive the eurcharist I’m pretty much terrified of “doing it wrong”. At my new church I’ve noticed out of the corne of my eye, the priest smiling at me while giving the host ( I don’t dare look at him) but now I’m so confused. Why is he trying to make eye cont at with me if this is some sort of abomination? I’m really tired of feeling so anxious and confused about something that’s suppose to be so sacred and beautiful. Can someone please clarify for me what this is all about. Thank you.

What do you mean by took the time out of Mass to scold you? Did he literally scold you and refer to you in the middle of Mass?? In front of everyone? Or did he pull you aside after Mass to scold you?