Eye contact with Priest

[thequeen]

Forget what that priest said You did nothing wrong,

 

[ccmcmg]

What do you mean by took the time out of Mass to scold you? Did he literally scold you and refer to you in the middle of Mass?? In front of everyone? Or did he pull you aside after Mass to scold you?

That’s one thing I’m confused about. Since she said it’s during Mass, we’re supposed to think he said, Honeybea! You are committing a sacrilege during Communion!

I just think we’re missing parts of the story, or there was a misunderstanding. Sometimes, if we feel guilty about something, or even just a little unsure about something, we misunderstand something that was said in intent for something else, but we interpret as being directed to us. It’s not uncommon.

 

[HoneyBea]

That’s one thing I’m confused about. Since she said it’s during Mass, we’re supposed to think he said, Honeybea! You are committing a sacrilege during Communion!

I just think we’re missing parts of the story, or there was a misunderstanding. Sometimes, if we feel guilty about something, or even just a little unsure about something, we misunderstand something that was said in intent for something else, but we interpret as being directed to us. It’s not uncommon.

Yes except I hadn’t even realized I did anything wrong until the priest said anything. I was just sitting there oblivious. You’re not missing any part of the story. I don’t know how much more detailed I can be about it.

 

[ccmcmg]

Yes except I hadn’t even realized I did anything wrong until the priest said anything. I was just sitting there oblivious. You’re not missing any part of the story. I don’t know how much more detailed I can be about it.

So, he called you out, by name, during Mass, after the Eucharist, before the departure, in front of everyone, from the altar/pulpit/ambo?

 

[jtkalehua88]

Yes except I hadn’t even realized I did anything wrong until the priest said anything. I was just sitting there oblivious. You’re not missing any part of the story. I don’t know how much more detailed I can be about it.

Simply what we’re asking is, how did he scold you during the Mass? Did he abruptly stop what he was doing and begin to chastise you, with his mic on for the whole sanctuary to hear, and by name? Or did he briefly pause, during Mass, and walk up to you and quietly chastised you?

 

[HoneyBea]

Yes except not by name because he didn’t know my name. I was visiting. And yes it was after the Eucharist after everyone had sat back in their seats, but I can’t remember if it was after the prayer…maybe it was during the announcements. At the time I did not know the order of the mass very well. He was standing at the top of the steps or maybe the bottom I can’t remember but he was up at the very front off the alter when he said it. Also, as I mentioned before, he did say something about saying Amen and looking at the host. I think what hew as trying to say is that when you say Amen you should be looking at the host not him. I’m very surprised no one has ever heard of this before. This entire time I thought it was a teaching I had overlooked.

 

[ccmcmg]

Yes except not by name because he didn’t know my name. I was visiting. And yes it was after the Eucharist after everyone had sat back in their seats, but I can’t remember if it was after the prayer…maybe it was during the announcements. At the time I did not know the order of the mass very well. He was standing at the top of the steps or maybe the bottom I can’t remember but he was up at the very front off the alter when he said it. Also, as I mentioned before, he did say something about saying Amen and looking at the host. I think what hew as trying to say is that when you say Amen you should be looking at the host not him. I’m very surprised no one has ever heard of this before. This entire time I thought it was a teaching I had overlooked.

So there is a good chance he wasn’t calling you out directly, and referring to the parish as a whole, which may have had more than just one visitor that day, or others who were doing things that might not have been kosher. Many parishes, right or wrong, have different ways of doing things, and in one other parish I have visited, they said “so be it” instead of “amen” (we are supposed to say ‘amen’). You said “I think what he was trying to say…” so he didn’t actually say “DON"T LOOK AT ME, ‘you person I don’t know your name’”

Like I said, if we are unsure about something, or uncomfortable, we often take things personally that aren’t meant to be, or might not even be intended for us. Since there seem to be a ‘few’ parts that you can’t remember, I’m going to go with that, especially since you are uncomfortable with priests, as you’ve stated before, if I remember correctly.

I’m not trying to accuse or argue with you. But perhaps as we grow up, we need to remember that not everything is about us, even when we think it is, and assume that it is, and are sure that it is. Other people’s interiors don’t depend on us, and their motivations may have nothing to do with us. When our lives are very ‘dramatic’, we tend to think that everything is about us. There just seems to be missing or changing pieces upon clarification. While I’m not saying it couldn’t happen, I can’t imagine a priest specifically berating a parishioner DURING Mass (or even after, especially for something like this).

 

[HoneyBea]

Sorry I’m getting annoyed at explaining this.

Yes he did say don’t look at me.

I know what he said I was there. You were not.

Sorry for my impatience but I’m annoyed at having to keep explaining what he said over and over to you. It seems as if you don’t want to listen.

 

[HoneyBea]

So there is a good chance he wasn’t calling you out directly, and referring to the parish as a whole, which may have had more than just one visitor that day, or others who were doing things that might not have been kosher. Many parishes, right or wrong, have different ways of doing things, and in one other parish I have visited, they said “so be it” instead of “amen” (we are supposed to say ‘amen’). You said “I think what he was trying to say…” so he didn’t actually say “DON"T LOOK AT ME, ‘you person I don’t know your name’”

Like I said, if we are unsure about something, or uncomfortable, we often take things personally that aren’t meant to be, or might not even be intended for us. Since there seem to be a ‘few’ parts that you can’t remember, I’m going to go with that, especially since you are uncomfortable with priests, as you’ve stated before, if I remember correctly.

I’m not trying to accuse or argue with you. But perhaps as we grow up, we need to remember that not everything is about us, even when we think it is, and assume that it is, and are sure that it is. Other people’s interiors don’t depend on us, and their motivations may have nothing to do with us. When our lives are very ‘dramatic’, we tend to think that everything is about us. There just seems to be missing or changing pieces upon clarification. While I’m not saying it couldn’t happen, I can’t imagine a priest specifically berating a parishioner DURING Mass (or even after, especially for something like this).

You are basically accusing me of being a) delusional b) a liar c) self absorbed

You don’t know me, all you know is what I have presented here and for some strange reason you don’t want to believe what I have presented. That’s fine, but please move on already if you have nothing to offer as to why he said what he said.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

I think what that priest did was terrible! Seems like he was in his own little world where no one else’s feelings counted.

I think it is hard to imagine because it was terrible and just so out of the ordinary. I think I have somewhat clear picture of how it happened, but even if I am not completely on target, I still don’t like that he did that. I am assuming that as he was returning to the sanctuary at the end of communion, he approachec Honey Bea privately, perhaps leaning, and said what he said. Or maybe on his way out at the end. I have seen, in days gone by, priests say a few words to someone on the way out, leaning in momentarily. Doesn’t matter how we think it happened, it did, and Honey Bea is the only one here who really can picture it because it happened to her and not us. But, thankfully, it is in the past!

This is not the same situation, but our last pastor had on a couple of occasions chastized the entire congregation at the beginning or end of Mass. I am in a choir. He would talk to us before Mass and say try to get everyone out there to sing, they are not singing. Our director verbally encouraged the congregation, “Let’s all offer our voices to the Lord on this beautiful day.” Then one Sunday, Father took it upon himself to “encourage” singing. He began Mass by saying (in a heavy french accent), “You are not very good at singing. Yes? Let’s hear you sing better.” Of course, the choir knew that what he meant was, “Please join in singing.” There was a bit of a sentence formation problem, even though he had been in America many years. I told the other choir members after Mass that if I had not been in the choir and been “out there” I would have taken that personally since I love to sing and always sensitive about getting it right. Not very motivational. The priest we have now is very different.

Regarding the poster who said, “As we grow older, we need to remember that not everything is about us…”: That is demeaning and belittling to the OP. What’s more, I notice a lot if this phrase, “not about you” in posts on this forum. The people who say that should really, really consider rephrasing their thoughts. It comes off as mean spirited and is of absolutely no help to anyone.