Face-to-face confession

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lefty22

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Many modern confessionals have the option of going behind a screen or face-to-face, correct? If you choose to go face-to-face in one of these confessionals, do you have to do anything in particular? Or do you just walk in and sit down in the chair?

Sorry, I’ve just never done it but I think I’d like to next time I go and I don’t want to mess anything up.

Also, do you think there are any advantages to face-to-face confession?
Thanks!

–lefty22
 
lefty22 said:
Many modern confessionals have the option of going behind a screen or face-to-face, correct? If you choose to go face-to-face in one of these confessionals, do you have to do anything in particular? Or do you just walk in and sit down in the chair?

Sorry, I’ve just never done it but I think I’d like to next time I go and I don’t want to mess anything up.

Also, do you think there are any advantages to face-to-face confession?
Thanks!

–lefty22
Click to expand...
There’s nothing different, I would think, between either method. I myself have done both. I couldn’t really say there are “advantages” to face to face confession, but it is a nice experience and one I would recommend.

You just go in and sit in the chair or bench of whatever that isn’t obscured by the screen and proceed as usual. It might be kind of scary at first but it is actually quite nice being able to confess your problems face to face - so really it feels more personal than it does from behind a screen. I would recommend doing this with a priest you are comfortable with first though.
 
In my parish there is not really an option for face to face. In theory it could be done, but both the priest and the penitent would have to pull back the curtains from their side of the confessionals. In practice I don’t think it is done at all.
 
I know my parish’s priests, and they’re good, so I give my confession face-to-face. They open up a little bit more about prayer, penance, and faith. I appreciate the advice they give me.

When I’m in another parish, I usually go behind the screen, except when I go to a neighboring parish’s Holy Hour and confess to its pastor, who is an excellent and gifted priest.
 
I have tended to go face to face when available. Now that my hearing is poor I find it a great help. I hear better when I can see a person’s face, and it is easier to get things repeated when necessary. Just my personal experience.

I just walk in, sit down, and usually start with “Good Afternoon Father”, he responds and then I start with “Bless me Father,…” I don’t know what the recommendation is, but a personal greeting seems appropriate to me.
 
Joe_Kelley said:
I have tended to go face to face when available. Now that my hearing is poor I find it a great help. I hear better when I can see a person’s face, and it is easier to get things repeated when necessary. Just my personal experience.

I just walk in, sit down, and usually start with “Good Afternoon Father”, he responds and then I start with “Bless me Father,…” I don’t know what the recommendation is, but a personal greeting seems appropriate to me.
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Me too! That is I have a hearing problem as well. My primary means of communication is by speech-reading. Sometimes I have to remind Father he needs to look at me when he’s speaking. 🙂 I’ve never done a confession behind the screen.

As for doing face to face- I just go in and sit down. If it isn’t my parish priest I’d let him know about my hearing and then go right into the normal confession procedure. You can’t really mess it up.

Good luck!
 
I go face to face as well. I like to look at the priest while I am confessing my sins. When I say my act of contrition i usually close my eyes/gaze downward. Many priests I have used for confession close their eyes during absolution.
I go face to face if I know the priest or not. I am not saying it isn’t jittery at times but, it never lasts past sitting down in the chair…just while I am waiting in line.

Peace
 
lefty22 said:
Many modern confessionals have the option of going behind a screen or face-to-face, correct? If you choose to go face-to-face in one of these confessionals, do you have to do anything in particular? Or do you just walk in and sit down in the chair?

–lefty22
Click to expand...
Yes, that’s about it. I’ve always done it this way and I like it very much.
 
I go face to face because it just seems weird to talk through a barrier.

I walk in and close the door. We greet each other and then get down to the matter at hand. Bless me father…

Sometimes there os conversation and/or counsel; sometimes not. He usually has his eyes closed while I’m confessing and I am looking down [at my list]. I usually close my eyes while making my act of contrition and while receiving absolution.

It’s a personal preference that works for me.
 
lefty22 said:
Many modern confessionals have the option of going behind a screen or face-to-face, correct? If you choose to go face-to-face in one of these confessionals, do you have to do anything in particular? Or do you just walk in and sit down in the chair?

Sorry, I’ve just never done it but I think I’d like to next time I go and I don’t want to mess anything up.

Also, do you think there are any advantages to face-to-face confession?
Thanks!

–lefty22
Click to expand...
When I returned to the Church, my Priest asked that I scheduled a confession when the time worked for me (in the early evening after work). I went to the office and let the secretary know that Father’s 5:15 appointment was were. We then walked into the confessional, we both sat down and spent several minutes “just talking” before I did my confession which very much put me at ease.
 
lefty22 said:
Many modern confessionals have the option of going behind a screen or face-to-face, correct? If you choose to go face-to-face in one of these confessionals, do you have to do anything in particular? Or do you just walk in and sit down in the chair?

Sorry, I’ve just never done it but I think I’d like to next time I go and I don’t want to mess anything up.

Also, do you think there are any advantages to face-to-face confession?
Thanks!

–lefty22
Click to expand...
I’ve always done face to face just a personal preference of mine, I seem to do better when I am able to see the priest. I like the personal feel of it I guess.
 
Not an option in our parish.

The default for the Church is to have a barrier between the priest and the penitent. A face to face confession is allowed if both parties agree to do so. In other words, the choice to have a face to face confession only happens when both the priest and the penitent choose that option.

My pastor has elected not hear confessions face to face, therefore it is not an option.

He fells that it helps preserve the anoniminty of the confession and reinforce that the penitent is really confessing to Christ.

And I agree on both counts
 
lefty22 said:
Many modern confessionals have the option of going behind a screen or face-to-face, correct? If you choose to go face-to-face in one of these confessionals, do you have to do anything in particular? Or do you just walk in and sit down in the chair?

**Sorry, I’ve just never done it but I think I’d like to next time I go and I don’t want to mess anything up.
**
Also, do you think there are any advantages to face-to-face confession?
Thanks!

–lefty22
Click to expand...
I hear priests and catechist warn people about being scrupulous about various things. But when a cleric during confession acts agitated over the way I confess, while trying my best, I could care less for them and their feelings about it. We are confessing to God the Father, not some simple man, though there is an aspect of this hopefully led by the Holy Spirit with a well formed priest. But I’ve run into some fairly lame priests that make false claims about what is sinful and what is not. I just ignore them, though a bit angry at them for not forming their consciences to the teaching of the Church.

I belief confessing face to face is fine, but I do belief confession is proper in a concealed, low light area because it takes the focus off of the individuals taking part in the confession and helps one focus on God. Bright lights can be very distracting. But, I haven’t confessed behind a screen in a very very long time. The choice is up to the individual.
 
Thank you for all your replies – that helps me out a lot. 🙂 I have actually confessed face-to-face before, for several times when I first returned to the sacrament, but those confessions were all made during special appointments and not in the confessional.

Just a few more questions, sorry guys!

Is it okay to bring a list of sins with you when you confess face-to-face? I never have before, but when I go behind the screen I do, and I find that I’m able to focus much better on the experience when I have the list, because I’m not struggling to remember everything I wanted to say. Is it weird, though, to have a list when the priest can see you?

Also, this is just related to confession in general, but it’s something I feel like I’ve never gotten the hang of – how is the dialogue supposed to “work” between you and the priest? I tend to go in and do the laundry list thing, which I know is ok, but I feel like I could get more out of it if I slowed down and actually talked to the priest more, especially when I confess to a priest who I know and who knows me. Now, my confessions go something along the lines of “I masturbated 2x, I’ve been angry at God and haven’t been trusting Him, I’ve disrespected my parents, etc.” I’m guessing for things like masturbation there’s not a lot to elaborate on, but could anyone give me a kind of hypothetical dialogue of what you’d say to confess these three things /not/ in a laundry list? That would just give me a general idea of how it can go.

Oh, and one last question – if you “start” to masturbate and then stop before you really do it, is that something that needs to be confessed?

Thanks so much! God bless.

–lefty22
 
PbloPicasso said:
I hear priests and catechist warn people about being scrupulous about various things. But when a cleric during confession acts agitated over the way I confess, while trying my best, I could care less for them and their feelings about it. We are confessing to God the Father, not some simple man, **though there is an aspect of this hopefully led by the Holy Spirit with a well formed priest. But I’ve run into some fairly lame priests **that make false claims about what is sinful and what is not. I just ignore them, though a bit angry at them for not forming their consciences to the teaching of the Church.
Click to expand...
I wish that you wouldn’t call any priest “lame”. They all were given the authority by Jesus.(cf. John 20:19-23) Yes, we are confessing to God but through the men that He instituted for this sacrament of healing. Yes, not every priest is conservative with Church teachings but we still need to give them the respect due to their ordination. Peace be with you…teachccd 🙂
 
Our face to face side has a wall that goes about half-way up, so I can hold then list in my lap and it’s not obviously visible to the priest. That being said, I have pulled one out of my pocket with no apologies more than once, and I’ve never had a priest bat an eye at that.

Sometimes I just go with a list and I just read straight off the list:
I’ve been impatient; I’ve failed to show gratitude; I haven’t prayed for people I don’t like. Sometimes he has comments, sometimes, just absolution.

Sometimes I wish that he would comment on a certain situation, but he doesn’t and I just have to trust that is not what the Holy Spirit had in mind.

On occasion I will have something that I want his feedback on, and I will simply say, “I’ve got a situation going on at school/ work that I would like some perspective on…” Or "Can I ask a quick question?..and I make it quick and don’t pick a time when there are six other people waiting in line or Mass is scheduled to start in five minutes.

And sometimes he will spontaneously offer feedback on something, and that happens, once again I chalk it up to the working of the Holy Spirit.

I go to the same priest every time, and I know that not every time is going to involve/warrant a conversation. I once went with a list of things that had been revealed to me in Adoration. I read the list, and he had a one-word comment…wonderful.
 
teachccd said:
I wish that you wouldn’t call any priest “lame”. They all were given the authority by Jesus.(cf. John 20:19-23) Yes, we are confessing to God but through the men that He instituted for this sacrament of healing. Yes,** not every priest is conservative with Church teachings** but we still need to give them the respect due to their ordination. Peace be with you…teachccd 🙂
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Let me define what you mean in bold. You are saying that not all priests are orthodox, meaning the opposite is true. That means they are unorthodox or heterodox. Just as there are lame doctors, lame teachers, lame anything, there are also lame (a nice word for heretic) clergy in all faiths. If you want me to pull the priest abuse scandals out on you I will, because I’m one of the victims while I was a seminarian. I know lame when I see it. If you don’t like it then don’t read it. Sorry, but truth is very difficult to swallow, especially when we place our faith on the shirttails of priests. They are very important, necessary and yet they are human, sinful men, just as all of us are sinners. So, please don’t pull the holier than thou act on me. My faith in the Church was destroyed by priests. It took a long time for me to regain trust in them before I would even speak to one to confess sins to when I finally found evidence that the Catholic Church is in fact the Church founded by Christ, something I didn’t believe for a very long time in my life after my abuse, burial and abandonment. The priest was my confessor… my spiritual director. He no longer has faculties, but not because of what he did to me. He left on his own accord and admitted his guilt during the time I turned him in shortly after his offense.

Let’s not get into this and tick me off just to feed your ego. I protect priests too and prefer not to say negative things about them. But if anyone is to learn, they must learn to protect themselves from poorly formed clergy. It happens, even today.
 
I want to go to face to face for the 1st time in a while because it will be more personal and knowing who i am the priest may give you tips for resolutions. I might be nervous but getting sin off ur chest face to face helps hopefully!
 
I want to go to face to face for the 1st time in a while because it will be more personal and knowing who i am the priest may give you tips for resolutions. I might be nervous but getting sin off ur chest face to face helps hopefully!
 
I prefer face-to-face. I find that I am more open which leads to better spiritual direction. It’s easier to ask for clarification.
 
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