Face-to-face Confession

[porthos11]

After reading the aforementioned response to this question in AAA, I have trouble believing Fr. Serpa meant for the penitent to walk out on confession right then and there when he said, “If you feel uncomfortable with this priest, find another confessor.” Rather, I think porthos11’s take is what Father meant: go ahead with the confession then explore other options for the future afterwards. I’m not Father or porthos, however, so I could be interpreting this wrong all the way around.

You’ve nailed what I said.

“Find another confessor” in Father Serpa’s answer could not possibly be equated to “walk away.” If the priest you’re with would prefer you to sit, sit, confess, be absolved, and find another one afterwards. If one in mortal sin refuses to confess because of a difference in preferred posture, despite having a priest right then and there, then one has his priorities skewed. At any Confession, the priority is the state of one’s soul, not the angle of one’s knees. Forgiveness was waiting and one refused it over his own preference, still another choice of self over God.

Again. Priorities.

 

[peter26]

It falls within the rights of the priest, who may insist on the use of the screen or confessional even when the penitent requests face-to-face confession. In this case, if the priest has strong personal reasons to object to face-to-face confession he should have the confession area arranged so that face-to-face confession is impossible, i.e., the chair should be removed by the sacristan before the penitents arrive. This would lead to less confusion and frustration on the part of the penitents.

Personally, I hate using a screen because you are expected to kneel. I have extremely bad knees and find it impossible to kneel without crying out in pain. To use a confessional with a sensor under the kneeler I have to contort my body to put one foot on the kneeler with enough weight to depress the sensor while leaning forward enough to be heard by the priest through the screen. I also write my sins down so I usually need to use a flashlight-which I keep on my key-chain just for such occasions.

Just a thought, but a priest would probably find a way to accommodate you without you having to kneel if you have a problem with your knees. I know in my area there is a diocese policy on making the sacraments available to people with disabilities, along with of course legislation on disabled access. Most people will make accommodations if they know there is a problem.

 

[FrancescaMaria]

You’ve nailed what I said.

“Find another confessor” in Father Serpa’s answer could not possibly be equated to “walk away.” If the priest you’re with would prefer you to sit, sit, confess, be absolved, and find another one afterwards. If one in mortal sin refuses to confess because of a difference in preferred posture, despite having a priest right then and there, then one has his priorities skewed. At any Confession, the priority is the state of one’s soul, not the angle of one’s knees. Forgiveness was waiting and one refused it over his own preference, still another choice of self over God.

Again. Priorities.

UpUpAndAway and Porthos11:

I never thought Fr. Serpa’s reply was about leaving the confession. But, I believe that he clearly affirmed that the kneeling posture was within the rights of the penitent and appropriate also for face-to-face confessions. Therefore, if a priest chooses to offer confession in his office with no kneeler or screen (which does not matter to me) and expresses a preference that his penitents be seated, the penitent may still respectfully decline the chair and kneel on the floor if he or she chooses. If this set up creates an uncomfortable situation for either party, it is recommended that the penitent finds another confessor for the future. Yes, forgiveness is a wonderful gift that we always need to be thankful for, but that does not mean that the penitent has absolutely no rights in this sacrament. I am relieved to know that kneeling is indeed appropriate (even in a face-to-face situation without a kneeler) and hence I do not have to be afraid that a priest will deny me the sacrament just because I remain on my knees (which by the way as far as I know has never happened). It is not just about the angle of the knee, but more so of how one’s conscience leads a person to express repentance and present oneself in the presence of our Lord in this sacrament.

 

[porthos11]

UpUpAndAway and Porthos11:

I never thought Fr. Serpa’s reply was about leaving the confession. But, I believe that he clearly affirmed that the kneeling posture was within the rights of the penitent and appropriate also for face-to-face confessions. Therefore, if a priest chooses to offer confession in his office with no kneeler or screen (which does not matter to me) and expresses a preference that his penitents be seated, the penitent may still respectfully decline the chair and kneel on the floor if he or she chooses. If this set up creates an uncomfortable situation for either party, it is recommended that the penitent finds another confessor for the future. Yes, forgiveness is a wonderful gift that we always need to be thankful for, but that does not mean that the penitent has absolutely no rights in this sacrament. I am relieved to know that kneeling is indeed appropriate (even in a face-to-face situation without a kneeler) and hence I do not have to be afraid that a priest will deny me the sacrament just because I remain on my knees (which by the way as far as I know has never happened). It is not just about the angle of the knee, but more so of how one’s conscience leads a person to express repentance and present oneself in the presence of our Lord in this sacrament.

And at the same time, this is not a hill you should want to die on. If you’re already thre, and he priest insists that you sit despite your preference, then sit, be absolved and find another confessor down the road. Because posture in confession is not a moral issue, there should be no question of conscience. You may want to kneel, but at any given time, do as he says, even if it’s not what you want. Confess and be absolved. Worry about kneeling for another time. Besides, how could obeying your confessor, even in a small matter as this be anything but pleasing to God? It’s an opportunity to practice even a bit more self-denial.

 

[jschwartz]

I like the privacy of the confessional. I also prefer going to another church, in a place where they don’t know who I am.

 

[clem456]

I have an urge to go behind the screen. My brain tells me it’s the right way to go, because it separates the sacrament from the personalities involved, and gives me a fuller sense of “in persona Christi”. Some of it is fear and embarrassment.

However, I go most of the time face to face. And the graces received tend to have a greater effect on me. In sitting with the priest, I have a greater sense of reconciliation with the Church, the community, than I do when I go behind the screen.
And the fear of embarrassment is neutralized when I go face to face. It takes away the timidity I have in my life in relation to sin.
And that can be a problem in my life, the cowering in fear of sin, the inordinate shame that keeps me from being the disciple that Christ wants me to be.

 

[MissRose73]

My parish’s reconciliation room has the setup with the screen with a kneeler with the priest on the other side with the option of sitting down to do face to face. I prefer the anonymity of the screen/kneeler combination. I have done face to face but I would not be able to kneel without the help of a kneeler.

 

[JRS_88]

My parish’s reconciliation room has the setup with the screen with a kneeler with the priest on the other side with the option of sitting down to do face to face. I prefer the anonymity of the screen/kneeler combination. I have done face to face but I would not be able to kneel without the help of a kneeler.

This is the set-up in one of the Latin rite churches close by. Father asked me “Would you like to sit, or kneel?” then, he said “Behind the screen, or face-to-face?”.

 

[Disciple_Leader]

My goodness…it’s about God and his forgiveness. Don’t get so hung up on the “technical” stuff.

 

[porthos11]

My goodness…it’s about God and his forgiveness. Don’t get so hung up on the “technical” stuff.

^ This.

 

[Gia_B]

And at the same time, this is not a hill you should want to die on. If you’re already thre, and he priest insists that you sit despite your preference, then sit, be absolved and find another confessor down the road. Because posture in confession is not a moral issue, there should be no question of conscience. You may want to kneel, but at any given time, do as he says, even if it’s not what you want. Confess and be absolved. Worry about kneeling for another time. Besides, how could obeying your confessor, even in a small matter as this be anything but pleasing to God? It’s an opportunity to practice even a bit more self-denial.

I agree wholeheartedly.

There have been many times both on CAF and elsewhere on the internet where I have seen people take things that supposedly make them “humble” (eg veiling, kneeling for communion) and turning them into sources of pride. “Can you believe that that mean priest is trying to squash my piety by not letting me do things my way? I have rights!” I think some people get too caught up in the outward trappings of humility and completely miss the part where they act humble.

 

[robertmidwest]

I agree wholeheartedly.

There have been many times both on CAF and elsewhere on the internet where I have seen people take things that supposedly make them “humble” (eg veiling, kneeling for communion) and turning them into sources of pride. “Can you believe that that mean priest is trying to squash my piety by not letting me do things my way? I have rights!” I think some people get too caught up in the outward trappings of humility and completely miss the part where they act humble.

I agree.

I thought from the beginning this is kind of a personal litmus test to see if the priest met up to the OP’s standards.

 

[Disciple_Leader]

In my humble opinion, I don’t think we should be speculating on a persons piety or humility

 

[horselvr]