Face-to-face or behind-the-screen Confession?

[Jayne_L]

I entered the Church at Easter '09 and I’ve never gone behind the screeen. I think it would be “easier” in some respects - committing the same sins over and over and knowing that I have to confess them again and the Priest knowing me really helps me not to commit them for a time. If I went behind the screen - especially with an unknown Priest - probably wouldn’t have the same “shame” factor. It should, because I’m sinning before God but I guess I’m just not that holy.

 

[curlycool89]

Face-to-face.

I find the confessional to be, well, too easy. I’m not applying this to anyone but myself, just to make that clear.

 

[onmyknees]

The problem is not with or without screen.

The problem is confession sitting or kneeling. The confession sitting is a social engineering toward the We the people are the church concept, and pulls down the priest to the level of the laity. The priest in the confession acts in the name of Jesus Christ, and by no way is on our level.

 

[onmyknees]

I have gone face to face before but now I always go to behind the screen to my regular confessor. He knows who I am because I volunteered at church and he knows my voice very well. I also used to have to find him after daily mass to ask him if he could hear my confession.

I agree that since he knows who I am it makes me more accountable, and like someone else said the shame factor is still there so I try harder to stop to committing the same sins again.

I too like that behind the screen we are on our knees confessing to Jesus. My confessor has the old-fashioned confessionals and they are pitch dark inside. This really helps me to focus on contrition for my sins. For me this holy sacrament seems more serious behind the screen and I like it this way.

The few times that I had to go face to face it just didn’t seem as holy and sacred even though I know it was but the priest was just so casual and one was joking. I guess everyone is different on what they like.

 

[Jim_Roberts]

It is very austere about confession.

One has a choice: either behind the screen or face-to-face.

What is so taxing about this?

I believe if one has a serious problem, go face to face or make an appointment with the pastor.

You have to conceive that the priest cannot reveal your confession to anyone.

Havin a taxing problem should be conducive with an appointment because it is not fair for other confessors to wait and wait.

Please pray about this.

__ Jim Roberts

 

[GloriousOrder]

Interestingly, I was all ‘hyped’ to have a real authentic screen-confession all through my conversion process. As things turned out, all my confessions so far have been face-to-face, because I kept getting nervous and catching priests just after Mass or something. Every last one of my confessions has been face-to-face, despite all that excitement for months and months! I must say that doing it this way has made me appreciate the courage needed to tell someone very… lewd sins. The virtue of fortitude is built by face-to-face confession more than screen confession, at least for me.

 

[GwenL]

I used to think that face-to-face was better for many of the same reasons as other posters. Knowing that I had to face someone with my sins is great motivation to avoid them.

My confessor, though, insists on the screen. In abnormal situations, such as at retreats, he sets things up so that he is seated with a kneeler behind him. We’re talking right into his ear but not looking at his face.

Why? He thinks that it can be spiritually bad for people to confess face to face. Penitents look at the priest’s face for reaction to their statements. It’s is only human to do this; it is a natural part of conversation. We look for body language, gestures, smiles, eye rolls, etc. He has told me that he doesn’t want have to concentrate on supplying the expected gestures and expressions, that he doesn’t want the penitent to depend on the confessor’s affirmation, pity, horror, etc. We say the worst sin we’ve ever committed and expect him to shudder, and he yawns. We expect him to be rapt with attention to our meandering tale of woe and he’s looking at his watch. At least that’s the line of thought: if we don’t get the facial expression response we are subconciously looking for, we can damage ourselves spiritually.

We should be focused on confessing our sins to Jesus Christ. This isn’t a casual conversation that we are holding with a buddy, even though the priest might be our friend outside the confesssional.

Notice I said nothing about anonymous. I go to confession every week, same confessor, and he knows exactly who I am. When I’ve asked him to hear a confession at time outside the normal scheduled time, it’s been behind the screen or somehow facing away.

 

[heathernoel]

I’ve only been to confession twice (new Catholic), but especially with my first, going face to face made me feel like I was speaking to Christ himself, asking Him for His forgiveness as He sat across from me. I needed that absolution to let go of some horrid sins.

I LOVE Reconciliation! Thanks Be To God!

 

[curlycool89]

Why? He thinks that it can be spiritually bad for people to confess face to face. Penitents look at the priest’s face for reaction to their statements. It’s is only human to do this; it is a natural part of conversation. We look for body language, gestures, smiles, eye rolls, etc. He has told me that he doesn’t want have to concentrate on supplying the expected gestures and expressions, that he doesn’t want the penitent to depend on the confessor’s affirmation, pity, horror, etc. We say the worst sin we’ve ever committed and expect him to shudder, and he yawns. We expect him to be rapt with attention to our meandering tale of woe and he’s looking at his watch. At least that’s the line of thought: if we don’t get the facial expression response we are subconciously looking for, we can damage ourselves spiritually.

Sorry, but that’s a straw man. If somebody is doing that then they are not spiritually mature, plain and simple. Completely different problem that has nothing to do with how you confess.

Yes, it’s human nature to do such things, but one needs to get to understand that God is wholly different. If people are doing this, then I bet they’re also looking for God’s approval in their prayer life or treating God in the “classic” (wrong) “He’s just like a human with a big brain” method trying to figure out the “right” words to say to God as if He can’t already read they’re hearts. Like I said, totally different issue.

I can just as easily say that someone can listen for the inflections and tone of voice to see approval or whatever. Someone doing that would be just as spiritually immature. Vocals can be just as or even more important than visuals; if you need proof you can look to the right of your reply box and contemplate why we need emoticons on internet forums.

Also, I’d expect a little professionalism from the priest. Checking your watch would be unprofessional whether it’s face to face or behind a screen. I’ve seen nothing but professionalism from priests I’ve confessed to.

 

[Corki]

Sorry, but that’s a straw man. If somebody is doing that then they are not spiritually mature, plain and simple. Completely different problem that has nothing to do with how you confess.

Yes, it’s human nature to do such things, but one needs to get to understand that God is wholly different. If people are doing this, then I bet they’re also looking for God’s approval in their prayer life or treating God in the “classic” (wrong) “He’s just like a human with a big brain” method trying to figure out the “right” words to say to God as if He can’t already read they’re hearts. Like I said, totally different issue.

I can just as easily say that someone can listen for the inflections and tone of voice to see approval or whatever. Someone doing that would be just as spiritually immature. Vocals can be just as or even more important than visuals; if you need proof you can look to the right of your reply box and contemplate why we need emoticons on internet forums.

Also, I’d expect a little professionalism from the priest. Checking your watch would be unprofessional whether it’s face to face or behind a screen. I’ve seen nothing but professionalism from priests I’ve confessed to.

It may be a reason you don’t like but it is entirely up to the priest if he wants to offer Confession face-to-face. His reasons don’t have to convince you. It’s his choice.

 

[curlycool89]

It may be a reason you don’t like but it is entirely up to the priest if he wants to offer Confession face-to-face. His reasons don’t have to convince you. It’s his choice.

I’m not disputing that he can choose not to. I’m just saying that his reasons are not good.

 

[LTJR]

As a convert to the church I am much more for face to face because I like to see my confessors face, I want him to see mine so he can better tell how contrite I am and if I am giving him the run around in confession. I have tried traditional because the church I now go to has a traditional confessional and I much feel isolated and cant see my confessor and only can hear him. while there is nothing wrong with traditional I was told that both forms are acceptable.

 

[formerlysure]

I preffer face to face confession in part because it’s more difficult to admit to my sins while looking someone in the eye. Kind of like when I was a kid and my parents asked me to look at them when they were asking me something difficult- there was a connection which made lying more difficult, and the truth more serious.

As for the physical setting of kneeling versus sitting, I find kneeling so physically uncomfortable, it distracts me from what I’m saying, hearing, thinking, praying and feeling. I feel no need nor value to be physically subordinate to the priest, either. Jesus dressed simply and was known to kneel at the feet of the poor and even wash their feet. I think it is in error to think that a priest should elevate himself above those to whom he ministers, even sinners. The congregation should honor priests just as we also honor the saints, apostles and Jesus but the priest himself should not act on ego and place himself above us in my opinion.

 

[onmyknees]

I preffer face to face confession in part because it’s more difficult to admit to my sins while looking someone in the eye. Kind of like when I was a kid and my parents asked me to look at them when they were asking me something difficult- there was a connection which made lying more difficult, and the truth more serious.

As for the physical setting of kneeling versus sitting, I find kneeling so physically uncomfortable, it distracts me from what I’m saying, hearing, thinking, praying and feeling. I feel no need nor value to be physically subordinate to the priest, either. Jesus dressed simply and was known to kneel at the feet of the poor and even wash their feet. I think it is in error to think that a priest should elevate himself above those to whom he ministers, even sinners. The congregation should honor priests just as we also honor the saints, apostles and Jesus but the priest himself should not act on ego and place himself above us in my opinion.

The priest is in “Persona Christi” and it is Jesus Himself we are confessing too. The priest is not acting on an ego and placing himself above us at all. The kneeling is for us who like to kneel because we are in fact speaking to our Lord Jesus Christ. It is just more reverent to kneel before Him.

I too prefer behind the screen because I can focus on confessing my sins to Him rather than being distracted by the priest being right in front of me. Also we have a padded kneeler behind the screen and face to face they just have a chair.

 

[asd72]

The priest is in “Persona Christi” and it is Jesus Himself we are confessing too. The priest is not acting on an ego and placing himself above us at all. The kneeling is for us who like to kneel because we are in fact speaking to our Lord Jesus Christ. It is just more reverent to kneel before Him.

I too prefer behind the screen because I can focus on confessing my sins to Him rather than being distracted by the priest being right in front of me. Also we have a padded kneeler behind the screen and face to face they just have a chair.

I’m the same as you. When I am able to confess I think I would find it distracting looking right at the Priest. I want my focus to be on confessing to Jesus.

I thought we are able to choose face to face or a screen, but if the Priest wants to use a screen for everyone, he can. Is that right?

 

[onmyknees]

I’m the same as you. When I am able to confess I think I would find it distracting looking right at the Priest. I want my focus to be on confessing to Jesus.

I thought we are able to choose face to face or a screen, but if the Priest wants to use a screen for everyone, he can. Is that right?

Yes, the priest has to offer behind the screen for anonymity but he does not have to offer face to face.

 

[Little_One0307]

You know ever since I have been confessing to my regular Confessor who is also my Spiritual Director, I have been graced to really to begin to have a sense for In Persona Christi. There are times where Confession is so hard for me, and when it is done and I look into Father’s eyes, yes I see him there, but I also can see Jesus in a way looking at me with so much love. I don’t know how to explain this, but when I hear the words of Absolution given and see Father’s hand make the sign of the Cross in the Absolution, Father told me that he thinks of Jesus on the Cross raising his nailed scarred hand and absolving the person confessing to him. And ever since then, I too think of that when receiving Absolution. Confession used to be such an ocassion of anxiety and nervousness to me, and it is by God’s grace that I am learning not to be so anxious and to learn to run to the Sacrament when I need to. We as Catholics are so blessed. If you do confess face to face, look behind and see who the priest is standing in the person of.

If there ever was a reason that I would have to confess to someone besides my regular Confessor, I would confess face to face.

God bless.

 

[onmyknees]

You know ever since I have been confessing to my regular Confessor who is also my Spiritual Director, I have been graced to really to begin to have a sense for In Persona Christi. There are times where Confession is so hard for me, and when it is done and I look into Father’s eyes, yes I see him there, but I also can see Jesus in a way looking at me with so much love. I don’t know how to explain this, but when I hear the words of Absolution given and see Father’s hand make the sign of the Cross in the Absolution, Father told me that he thinks of Jesus on the Cross raising his nailed scarred hand and absolving the person confessing to him. And ever since then, I too think of that when receiving Absolution. Confession used to be such an ocassion of anxiety and nervousness to me, and it is by God’s grace that I am learning not to be so anxious and to learn to run to the Sacrament when I need to. We as Catholics are so blessed. If you do confess face to face, look behind and see who the priest is standing in the person of.

If there ever was a reason that I would have to confess to someone besides my regular Confessor, I would confess face to face.

God bless.

I am happy that face to face works for you but I prefer to just hear the beautiful, loving voice of Christ from my regular confessor/spiritual director. He is young and loves tradition so he only has behind the screen confession. He uses the old confessionals and doesn’t put his light on so it is pitch black in my confessional too. I love it this way! It just feels so much more holy to me. And every time he says the sacred prayer of the absolution I always start to cry.