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[maryjk]

PatriceA, you make some valid and very reasonable points.

I guess the expection I would still see here is that there is an ongoing conversation (albeit driven from one side), so a quick note might be nice. While it’s true that there’s no notification of de-friending, this person will still no doubt notice and so the potential is there for her to be offended or saddened by this happening. Not knowing this person, I think it’s better to try to avoid offense and avoid, as much as possible, upsetting someone who may already lack friends in their life. Some people take facebook interactions to heart.

Anyway, just my 2c worth.

The problem is, this person sounds like one of those people that just won’t let you leave the conversation at a party.

You are walking around, with a drink in your hand. Looking for someone you know. You smile at a stranger, and they latch on to you telling you their life story. Yes, it is polite to smile and listen. But you don’t have to make this person a life long friend. And as they grab your arm one more time, to tell you one more story; you are not being rude when you say, “Please let go of my arm, I want to mingle.” In fact, the person being rude is the person grabbing your arm.

 

[PatriceA]

PatriceA, you make some valid and very reasonable points.

I guess the expection I would still see here is that there is an ongoing conversation (albeit driven from one side), so a quick note might be nice. While it’s true that there’s no notification of de-friending, this person will still no doubt notice and so the potential is there for her to be offended or saddened by this happening. Not knowing this person, I think it’s better to try to avoid offense and avoid, as much as possible, upsetting someone who may already lack friends in their life. Some people take facebook interactions to heart.

Anyway, just my 2c worth.

I wouldn’t assume that this woman may lack friends in their life. It may be just the opposite.

And honestly, someone that takes a “defriending” on Facebook to heart, I’m not so sure I’d really want them as a friend in real life as they’ve put way too much stock in an online relationship. Its a bit too creepy for me.

 

[underacloud]

The problem is, this person sounds like one of those people that just won’t let you leave the conversation at a party.

You are walking around, with a drink in your hand. Looking for someone you know. You smile at a stranger, and they latch on to you telling you their life story. Yes, it is polite to smile and listen. But you don’t have to make this person a life long friend. And as they grab your arm one more time, to tell you one more story; you are not being rude when you say, “Please let go of my arm, I want to mingle.” In fact, the person being rude is the person grabbing your arm.

Yes, indeed. But doesn’t this confirm what I suggest…that even though the person may be a nuisance and you need to firmly end the interaction, you still do so with some explanation (“I want to mingle”) and manners (“please…”).

But maybe I’m too soft. If someone wants to chew my ear off at a party, I find it hard to get away, and I wonder if spending a little time with someone who may be in need of a little company is such an imposition on me.

 

[underacloud]

I wouldn’t assume that this woman may lack friends in their life. It may be just the opposite.

It may be, in which case she presumably won’t be offended when the OP politely explains that he’d rather not continue the discussion. I’m not assuming either way, just saying the less risky approach is to offer a polite explanation. The riskier apporach IMO is to just block/de-friend someone who is trying to talk to you, since unfortunately there are people who get seriously upset by their facebook (and forum) interactions. I just don’t see any harm or impossition to the OP by writing a quick (and terse) note. He could follow the note up with an immediate de-friending, so the effect of ending the interaction is the same, but with some explanation for the woman as to why.

Or…I guess the OP could ignore the message, wait a while so it’s not too obvious, and then de-friend the person at a time when she is less likely to notice or take offense. This is probably what I’d end up doing anyway.

 

[CaliLobo]

OP,
Among adults there’s a social understanding that actions on FB aren’t as big of a deal as real-life relations, and cannot be scrutinized to the same extent because it’s hard to discern emotion online.

If you wanna explain, go ahead. If you wanna unfriend and blow her off, go ahead. If you wanna play games, go ahead! (sarcasm)

Whatever you choose, not a big deal.