Facebook Stalking?

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Crusading_Canuk

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Hi, this probably isn’t in the right section but I ask the foorum mods to grant me a little charity in this matter. Last week, a girl who was in my drama class contacted me over facebook regarding how it was nice to find another Christian at school and she felt lonely. She wanted to meet in the library over lunch. I thought ok and we talked she said she was depressed and borderline suicidal. I tried to comfort her and suggested she see her priest and speak to her doctor. She said she didn’t like talking to her doctor about this because she thought it would go on her record and she wouldn’t be able to get a job easily; I tried to explain this wasn’t so and she said she liked talking to me and wanted to be friends. I thought ok, now look what she sent me this morning:
 
I had the weirdest dream…
I thought I’d tell you considering you were in it. Lol.
So, we were in the library at Holy Heart and we were around 18 years old and we were going to get married. Then I noticed myself over my father’s place (I don’t even know what it looks like, I just knew he lived there(in my dream). I turned into a dog and jumped across an entire lake and swam the rest of the way. After me and you got married you reminded me about my status then told me you have STD 's. I got confused so I went for a walk and on one side of the street there was a big, dark forest and on another side was the BIGGEST grave yard I ever seen. With mostly infant/small children’s graves. There was no side walk on this side of the road. Then I noticed a grave with flowers wrapped around bike helmets that are laying on the grave. Then I noticed myself in someone’s backyard where a dead body of a blonde female was laying, covered in blood and guts. Her face appeared to be literally beaten in. I for some reason wasn’t surprised despite my fear. My friend then came from no where and attempted to seduce me so I got mad at him. Then I found two “evil” ants. They had human mouths. I put them in a bag with grass and filled it with water to kill them and closed off the bag. I noticed a hole in the bag and then one ant stuck it’s mouth through the hole and I woke up.
 
I don’t mean to be insensitive or hurt her, but I don’t need this sort of thing and frankly I found it creepy, especially I have only talked to her (in person not over facebook) ONCE. Am I over reacting? If not what should I do?
 
How is it stalking for someone to contact you one time? I’m not sure I get what your concern is, or what you are looking for with posting this.

EDIT - sorry, you posted three times and I missed the most recent one.

Remove her from your FB list, and if she asks why, just tell her you are not really in a position to help her with her problems, but that you are willing to get her in touch with a priest to discuss further if she feels so inclined.

I will never understand why people add “friends” to FB that they don’t even know. It only leads to problems.

~Liza
 
lizaanne said:
How is it stalking for someone to contact you one time? I’m not sure I get what your concern is, or what you are looking for with posting this.

~Liza
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No it was not only one time. This was just really creepy in my opinion. I am just looking for advice on how to handle the situation. Also did you read what she sent me?
 
I see how you might consider this stalking since you hardly know her yet she is opening up so much to you. Would you consider getting to know her in person?

Its a very interesting situation in my opinion. But you must remember to be very careful with people who are depressed and have thoughts of suicide, the slightest thing may be enough to throw her over the edge.

You mentioned that this girl is christian… but what type? Is she Catholic and practicing, Catholic non-practicing, protestant, etc.?
 
lizaanne said:
Remove her from your FB list, and if she asks why, just tell her you are not really in a position to help her with her problems, but that you are willing to get her in touch with a priest to discuss further if she feels so inclined.

I will never understand why people add “friends” to FB that they don’t even know. It only leads to problems.

~Liza
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I suggested this to her but apparently she dosen’t feel comfortable talking to them yet she does to me. Also I generally add/accept people in my classes to stay up to date if I have to miss anything.
 
BrandonR said:
I see how you might consider this stalking since you hardly know her yet she is opening up so much to you. Would you consider getting to know her in person?

Its a very interesting situation in my opinion. But you must remember to be very careful with people who are depressed and have thoughts of suicide, the slightest thing may be enough to throw her over the edge.

You mentioned that this girl is christian… but what type? Is she Catholic and practicing, Catholic non-practicing, protestant, etc.?
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In regards to getting to know her, look at the dream in my second post. I am looking for advice on how to handle this best so I don’t hurt her. She is pentecost not Catholic. But frankly I just don’t know what I could do for her.
 
You could always reply and reassure her that you will never be engaged or married to her, so her dream is not a premonition. 😃

You can always hide/block people on fb. When someone gets too political or nasty or just turns into a Negative Nellie, I hide them. Life is too short for tolerating unnecessary unpleasantness.

If there’s a counselor or social worker at your school, tell them that she told you that she’s borderline suicidal. You CANNOT keep that secret. If she kills herself, you will feel guilty. She needs help.

I am a licensed counselor and that is one of the limits to confidentiality. If someone is suicidal, I have to report it and get them care. 👍 I know young people think keeping secrets is more important, but if you care about her as a human being (even if not as a friend), then you need to talk to a counselor or social worker and let them know.
 
The 24 hour crisis line (including for suicide) in Newfoundland is:
1-888-737-4668

Keep that number handy in case she mentions it again, and give her the number.
 
I’m sorry for your situation. If she is as unbalanced as you say she said she is, I would not defriend right away, that could trigger something. Second, please tell a counselor. The second she told she was suicidal, she waived all right to privacy. I had to deal with a similar situation last year (albeit with a friend that I knew well) and the main thing I regret was not telling someone sooner. For her sake, tell a counselor or someone you trust. I don’t mean to sound pushy but I’m talking from personal experience. Good luck and God Bless!
 
I told her I don’t know how to respond to that. She told me “LOL you don’t have to I just told you because it was wierd and interesting”
 
Crusading_Canuk said:
I don’t mean to be insensitive or hurt her, but I don’t need this sort of thing and frankly I found it creepy, especially I have only talked to her (in person not over facebook) ONCE. Am I over reacting? If not what should I do?
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What would Jesus do?
 
JackQ said:
What would Jesus do?
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Lay on hands and heal her, if she has the faith to ask for and want a healing.

She can ask a priest for Anointing of the Sick, and/or maybe go to a Catholic charismatic healing service.

Some people don’t want to be healed and like to lounge around in their poopy diapers. :eek:
 
kentuckyliz said:
Lay on hands and heal her, if she has the faith to ask for and want a healing.

She can ask a priest for Anointing of the Sick, and/or maybe go to a Catholic charismatic healing service.

Some people don’t want to be healed and like to lounge around in their poopy diapers. :eek:
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I’m a big supporter of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal but seriously… a suicidal person needs medical help, not charismatic healing. If the person truly is suicidal, it has nothing to do with “not wanting to be healed…”
 
Now confermation of previous attempts and cutting. She says she will look into getting help and that its nice somebody cares. I have all these FB messages saved, should I show them to the guidance councellor?
 
Crusading_Canuk said:
Now confermation of previous attempts and cutting. She says she will look into getting help and that its nice somebody cares. I have all these FB messages saved, should I show them to the guidance councellor?
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YES, as soon as possible. This girl needs more help than you are qualified to give her.
 
First, you should tell this girl to get some counseling for her depression. I don’t know about Newfoundland, but Ontario has privacy laws. I’m sure what she says to a counselor is extremely private.

Second, the dream is a little creepy. People do dream, but explaining it is not something that should be done when it’s something like this
 
Talked to the guidance councellor about it after exams (I have the rest of the day off, not skipping), and apparently the girl took my advice and was there an hour before exams started. She seems interested in a relationship now. I’m glad shes getting the help she needs now.
 
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