Failed Suicide and Forgiveness

[UhOh]

I am hoping someone on here…a Priest or Brother…can help me out with this.

When I was 19, I was seriously depressed. I slept with anyone who wanted to, I never attended mass or took advantage of the sacraments, and I drank like a fish. I moved in with my boyfriend because I thought we were “in love” when really I just wanted to be able to have sex with him anytime the mood hit. After about 4mths, he told me that he wanted to keep “dating” but that he didn’t want me living with him anymore. I was so hurt that I wanted to “get even” with him. I swallows a whole lot of pills and chased them with a whole lot of alcohol. I would up violently ill and was rewarded with a week stay in the hospital psych ward.

Since then, I have completely changed my life. I am now 35yrs old, married, 2 kids, a faithful church goer and attend adoration frequently as well. I have also sought out spiritual guidance from my Priest and we have been meeting monthly for about 7mths now.

In meeting with him, we very briefly discussed my failed suicide attempt. I say briefly because I am not able to discuss it. I was in tears and unable to hold a conversation. This is a wound I am not yet able to heal. Anyways, afterwards, I realized that I never brought this issue to the Lord in the sacrament of confession. It took me a few months, but I did rememdy that and scheduled a private confession knowing that I would not make it through the sacrament without breaking down.

Now…being my own worst enemy, I have been doing some googling about Mortal Sin and Suicide and such…now I am worried that even though I confessed, this is a sin that is unforgivable.

Can someone tell me, if the absolution I received is valid, or if I am doomed regardless.

 

[Joe_5859]

Suicide is not an unforgiveable sin. The unforgiveable sin that the Bible mentions is the “sin against the Holy Spirit”, which basically means unrepentance. That is clearly not the case with you.

So be at peace. You have been absolved of this sin.

Welcome to CAF!

 

[white_sheep]

It’s valid.

 

[Rascalking]

God Bless you! You are forgiven.Simply put, God rocks with his forgiveness. He can forgive anything.

 

[Beth_Cecilia]

This is a wound I am not yet able to heal.

This is a wound that you cannot heal. Let God do the healing. Accept His forgiveness. It is the devil who would like to keep this wound open.

St. Dymphna, pray for us.
St. Raphael, pray for us.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, we fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, our mother; to thee do we come, before thee we stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not our petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer our prayers.

Amen.

 

[EricFilmer]

This is a wound I am not yet able to heal.

Wounds take time to heal, and as Beth Cecilia mentioned, God is the one who needs to do the healing. Sometimes it helps the healing process to use our past experience of tragedy to motivate us towards works of related charity. For example, in your case, maybe there is something you could be doing in a suicide prevention ministry / social work. Helping others find hope amidst suicidal tenancies can become a channel of healing grace into your own life. You mentioned that you often go to Adoration, so maybe this is something you can pray about during Adoration, and maybe bring up in spiritual direction also.

I should point out that assisting people who are grappling with suicide can be done in a variety of ways. For example, people can give their financial support to suicide prevention organizations. There is also a more “hands on” approach, which means directly trying to help individuals (as a case worker, suicide hot-line counselor, etc.). Such “hands on” activities can be a very challenging and emotionally straining, and I recommend that a person not undertake this kind of ministry unless they truly feel called by God to do so.

As to your specific question in your OP, as others have pointed out, your confession and subsequent absolution were valid.