B
Beggar
Guest
I have been experiencing significant financial crises. I will continue to experience them for a time to come, as I am uninsured and recently had surgery; am a full time student with no financial aid; and do not qualify for public assistance.
I am not complaining. No, not complaining, simply outlining the prelude to this small and huge faith moment.
This last two weeks have been rather difficult; money has been tight, tighter than bearable in fact, with school starting and tuition/books needing to be bought and paid for. So when I was left with $40 in the checking account and a $150 dollar heating bill, I knew I was in serious trouble. I would not receive a check until March 3, at the earliest, and it was already almost completely spoken for between medical bills and living expenses. Fresh food is scarce, but there is enough tucked into my freezer to make it through for a wee while.
After prayer, and re-asserting God’s Will, not mine, to be done, I called the Gas Co. They made payment arrangements, but that was still more than I had in my checking account. And the first payment was due March 3…
It was going to be a race. Which would happen first, the check I would receive or the payment? If I didn’t make the payment, I would have my gas cut off. But I didn’t know which would happen first. So again, I sat in prayer. I prayed a Divine Mercy Chaplet for myself, which is the first time I’ve ever done it with my needs in mind. I generally pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet for those holy souls in Purgatory, and let God’s Will be done…so this was a first for me. I prayed sincerely, deeply, and without reservation. And then went on about my day.
Later that day, I was faced with a temptation. A family member is out of town, and I am caring for their property. They told me where their emergency cash is, and to use it in case of emergency with the house. It came to me that I could take some of that cash, make the gas payment, and have the cash returned before they came back. But to me, that was dishonest, and not trusting my prayer would be heard. It was refusing to listen to God’s Will, even if that meant the race between the check and the bill was lost. It meant, in other words, that I was not living my faith. I remember going out the door that morning, and saying firmly to myself “no. This will be done with Faith.” And yet the temptation was huge.
As I came to crunch time, the thought was never far from my mind. I could access the cash. I could relieve the burden and stress. Or I could keep my promise that this will be done with Faith. And each day was a decision to do this with Faith.
Today, knowing that March 3rd is Monday, I checked the mail. No check. I decided to call the Gas company and see if I could get an extension (although they said no when I asked before). I put time in with prayer, reaffirmed that I would do this with faith and not the available cash at my family member’s house, and went online to check the Gas company’s website and to set up an online account. I noticed that the due date for the first payment was March 10.
I called them because I know what I was told; in fact, I repeated it back to the CS person, and verified it. My notes said March 3. So I called, to make sure that what I was seeing was true - it was March 10.
Yes, it is March 10. Not March 3rd, which I know as sure as I’m typing this that March 3rd is what I was told. Somehow, I had gotten an extra week added onto my deadline.
Through faith, and resisting temptation, I will be able to make my commitment to make the payments as agreed. I do not have to access the cash that is not mine. I did learn that God hears. I have no answer as to how the date got changed, but indeed it did…and how grateful I am.
For it’s not about the money. It’s about having the faith to stand and do right, even knowing that I could do something slightly immoral to relieve the pressure and resolve the issue in my favor. It’s about giving it to God in prayer, and then letting it rest in His Hands, and having the resolution be His Will, not mine.
It’s small, this crisis, but yet it’s given me a huge outcome. I faced temptation, resisted it, lived according to God’s Will, and the resolution and outcome is ‘pure’. It was about living in His Presence, and accepting His Will, and knowing that He doesn’t let us fall unless there’s something to be learned on the ground.
I wanted to share that with you all…while I don’t post much, I do read all the time…and wanted to perhaps encourage someone who might be struggling like I am struggling; who might be facing temptation like I have been.
Thank you for listening, and praise God. His Will be done, always and completely.
In Prayer,
Beggar
I am not complaining. No, not complaining, simply outlining the prelude to this small and huge faith moment.
This last two weeks have been rather difficult; money has been tight, tighter than bearable in fact, with school starting and tuition/books needing to be bought and paid for. So when I was left with $40 in the checking account and a $150 dollar heating bill, I knew I was in serious trouble. I would not receive a check until March 3, at the earliest, and it was already almost completely spoken for between medical bills and living expenses. Fresh food is scarce, but there is enough tucked into my freezer to make it through for a wee while.
After prayer, and re-asserting God’s Will, not mine, to be done, I called the Gas Co. They made payment arrangements, but that was still more than I had in my checking account. And the first payment was due March 3…
It was going to be a race. Which would happen first, the check I would receive or the payment? If I didn’t make the payment, I would have my gas cut off. But I didn’t know which would happen first. So again, I sat in prayer. I prayed a Divine Mercy Chaplet for myself, which is the first time I’ve ever done it with my needs in mind. I generally pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet for those holy souls in Purgatory, and let God’s Will be done…so this was a first for me. I prayed sincerely, deeply, and without reservation. And then went on about my day.
Later that day, I was faced with a temptation. A family member is out of town, and I am caring for their property. They told me where their emergency cash is, and to use it in case of emergency with the house. It came to me that I could take some of that cash, make the gas payment, and have the cash returned before they came back. But to me, that was dishonest, and not trusting my prayer would be heard. It was refusing to listen to God’s Will, even if that meant the race between the check and the bill was lost. It meant, in other words, that I was not living my faith. I remember going out the door that morning, and saying firmly to myself “no. This will be done with Faith.” And yet the temptation was huge.
As I came to crunch time, the thought was never far from my mind. I could access the cash. I could relieve the burden and stress. Or I could keep my promise that this will be done with Faith. And each day was a decision to do this with Faith.
Today, knowing that March 3rd is Monday, I checked the mail. No check. I decided to call the Gas company and see if I could get an extension (although they said no when I asked before). I put time in with prayer, reaffirmed that I would do this with faith and not the available cash at my family member’s house, and went online to check the Gas company’s website and to set up an online account. I noticed that the due date for the first payment was March 10.
I called them because I know what I was told; in fact, I repeated it back to the CS person, and verified it. My notes said March 3. So I called, to make sure that what I was seeing was true - it was March 10.
Yes, it is March 10. Not March 3rd, which I know as sure as I’m typing this that March 3rd is what I was told. Somehow, I had gotten an extra week added onto my deadline.
Through faith, and resisting temptation, I will be able to make my commitment to make the payments as agreed. I do not have to access the cash that is not mine. I did learn that God hears. I have no answer as to how the date got changed, but indeed it did…and how grateful I am.
For it’s not about the money. It’s about having the faith to stand and do right, even knowing that I could do something slightly immoral to relieve the pressure and resolve the issue in my favor. It’s about giving it to God in prayer, and then letting it rest in His Hands, and having the resolution be His Will, not mine.
It’s small, this crisis, but yet it’s given me a huge outcome. I faced temptation, resisted it, lived according to God’s Will, and the resolution and outcome is ‘pure’. It was about living in His Presence, and accepting His Will, and knowing that He doesn’t let us fall unless there’s something to be learned on the ground.
I wanted to share that with you all…while I don’t post much, I do read all the time…and wanted to perhaps encourage someone who might be struggling like I am struggling; who might be facing temptation like I have been.
Thank you for listening, and praise God. His Will be done, always and completely.
In Prayer,
Beggar