Faith crisis and long depression

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jose_Rodriguez
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

Jose_Rodriguez

Guest
This is a very serious request for help. Im from Argentina I live in La Plata, capital of Buenos Aires. Im going through one of the darkest and most difficult moments of my life. Im going through a deep crisis in all aspects of my life. Jose Rodriguez is not my real name, you can call me that if you want to, but my country and city of origin are real. Im in my 30s and im out of a job living on savings, studying a career i dont feel excited about in which i feel i have been thinking to drop out of, a social-personal crisis and of course a faith crisis. I have lived in a semi-absent family since the death of my mother at a very young age, and since then i have never felt happy or satisfied, and much worse i have felt abandoned and lonely. I have never had a serious relationship and the one that worked partially was like 8 years ago. In a sexual aspect i have been like that too. I have always suffered from depression in one one or another. Always been a depressive person. These last years the depression has worsened to the point to affect my will and physical strength. I used to walk the city with ease from corner to corner when i was younger. I cannot even walk 3 blocks now. I feel as if i was old. I started to abandoned myself even in the daily life as cooking or cleaning, even myself. I have talked to people about it and heard that i might need medication to overcome it. Im suffering a deep depression and weakening from which i really feel i cannot leave by myself. My friends have left me over time and my family doesnt care. I started to learn about spiritual life like 8 years ago but never managed to live it in a fulfilling or satisfying way. I believe I been alone partially because of this spiritual search, but partially because i feel i havent grown as a person and because of the blows i have been given. There has been a very bitter family feud which affected me very much too. I feel depressed and weak the better part of the day as if i was carrying a weight all over my body. I cannot think clearly. I do not live well. I do not sleep well. I do not eat well. Im suffering the most part of the time. I have been seeking for help but priests seem to be very busy and cant seem to help me deal with my problems properly. I tried a group of people here in La Plata but it seems the same deal, too busy or too slow a deal. They wont get any compromise. My worst pain is that i have felt alone all my life. It kills me that i didnt have a good relationship either. Deep down, and all the time. I have lived my life very little and very sad, very cowardly maybe too. I havent found an activity that could make my happy either. I believe the answer is good people that could acompany me in this horrible time and help me find God. I feel sometimes I can believe but many other time i cant. Its very difficult to explain. I cant really tell if im a believer, but i believed to some point some time ago. Its like i been waiting all these long years for that miracle to happen to make my life work and my faith work with God but never really came. It could be said I believe in something but not sure what and get discouraged very easily. WHAT IM BEGGING ALL THE GOOD SOULS OF THIS COMMUNITY IS TO JOIN IN PRAYER FOR ME TO FIND GOD AND A SOLUTION TO MY MANY PAINS. PRAY AND ASK AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN TO PRAY FOR ME PLEASE. I FEEL DEAD INSIDE. I FEAR FOR MY HEALTH AND FOR MY LIFE. I COULD NOT COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE I LACK THE COURAGE BUT I DONT FEEL LIKE LIVING OR FIGHTING. I SEE ALL NEGATIVE AND NOTHING SEEMS TO INTEREST ME. I FEEL COMPLETELY LOST. I BEG YOU ALL TO HELP ME FIND SUITABLE HELP AND ESPECIALLY PEOPLE NEAR MY TOWN IN LA PLATA. THE NEAREST ON INTERNET I COULD FIND IS “http://www.cesm.org.ar/” (Holy Mary spiritual center in english) BUT IS STILL FAR FROM MY CITY. PRAY AND HELP ME FIND HELP. CONTACT ME TO MY FACEBOOK ACCOUNT AND ADD ME AS FRIENDS IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME TOO. I FEEL TOO BAD TO DESCRIBE IT PROPERLY, I AM A SICK PERSON,I FEEL IM BROKEN INSIDE. I HAVE NO WORDS TO THANK YOU ALL.
 
I realize that what I am about to post is long, but i feel I really need help, advice and prayers. Whoever has time for it, they will try to understand this better and provide the help they see fit. I beg you, help me. Some people are expecting some news and more posts from me. It took me a long time for me to think about it and write it. Without a doubt this is the most critical moment of my life. Everything seems harder than the rest, including writing this, thinking, eating or any other daily activity. Thank you so much for your love, help and prayers.
I am still trying with a priest I see with some regularity. The thing is i have been living my life in an isolated way, and I believe it was partly because of my spiritual search. I have kept going back and forth over the years in terms of faith and i have been alone for too long. I have had some people and family that would keep me company but still feel alone, I think it was because of my faith. This loneliness has caused me a big pain and kept growing until it became unbearable. I lost control of myself and started to see all negative including myself. Self destruction, and evasion from reality. The most obvious manifestation of my evasion is the ridiculous amounts of time i would spend on bed or sleeping. It was like some people would use drugs, I think. I still do it, but a bit less. I am in my 30s and have to start my life from zero as if i was a teen. I still have doubts if i can pull off a normal life. I feel as i i had been living in a freezer and now I came out.
I suffer from 2 contradictory feelings : one is anxiety and another is depression. It is like trying to drive a can at maximum speed and and the next moment trying to do it a the slowest. Its like a tornado. I get anxious because I no longer feel I am young anymore and see people my age settling down and starting their family and I am still far from it. I am in a teen-like lifestyle
The depression goes back that long I don’t even remember when it started but has followed me until present. Whats worse, I easily fall into it if I was mildly amused or cheerful. I have a very little tolerance to frustration. My constant or almost pain is like I described it in my thread (reread it if you need please) is that I have never had a serious romantic relationship. The same goes with sex. Just once of both, romantic and sexual, which is much more than beyond pathetic from a worldly point of view, but at some level I did it because i think I tried to live in a spiritual way, for instance, no sex before marriage. I have felt alone all my life. I feel like there has been missing in my mind or soul, like a void, and I cant fill it, I just feel I cant.
I will offer one example which may further explain what I am going through. This year I started college and attended for 3 and half months. I realized it was not for me and dropped out. I spent 3 weeks in bed suffering depression and the last one was the worse because my brother left to go to a vacation and I was left alone to take care of one of our houses so that nobody would try trespassing or anything. And I can say I would spent day after day after day in bed and time would fly. One of the causes of my being like that was the fact of falling in love of a girl that had a boyfriend and would see her with him in college hugging and kissing on a daily basis. One of the reasons I felt so bad about it is one day i came back to college at afternoon (we would attend classes in the morning) and after 2 hours we had left the last class of the day. I came back to take an extra class for one difficult subject. The thing that hit me hard is seeing her after 2 hours still with her boyfriend (he works there in the students help center) and still in his arms, more or less if I remember correctly. They were so in their own world smiling and all that stuff. What hurt me most is that I had some hopes for her since she had been slightly flirting to me. The image of that couple hugging in college has been torment for the most part of that week of loneliness and deep depression.
I thought to myself : I will never get over this. Maybe to some degree I can but I think not all of it. It is just too much time wasted. I remember having spoken to a priest and telling him this and I told him it was like when you move fire near a piece of paper, that there would be nothing left afterwards. Thats the feeling I got in some occasions.I mean the idea of not having done all those things myself, not having going out with the girl I like not having sex with the girl I like, not having lived a real life for half of my life, since I am in my 30s and most people start being a teen. I still have a hard time finding the reasons why I did none of that, maybe my upbringing, my family, the deaths in it, the fights in it, the feeling of separation or abandonment. Now that I think of it there has been always a mixture of feelings, tragic for the deaths and and angry or annoying or negative feeling towards the rest of the family. Maybe they are to blame maybe they are not. Some days ago, I burst out in anger, almost fury against one of my brothers for being the troublesome or hateful or the one I feel most responsible for not allowing my home to have a peaceful air to breathe (he would do several evils to all of us and would not speak to us for a long time). But it was out of frustration of one of my failures. Many people seem to agree in this point, we all do what we can depending on how we started our lives and our possibilities and family is one of them. The thing is I got frustrated and very sad for something and started insulting him, he was not there. Things are better now luckily.
My family has offered to help me economically as long as I study. At first my father, now one of my brothers the oldest. He takes care of basic taxes and services of one house. My father lives in another of my family’s house and is sick. He has suffered a stroke or CVA, and left him with a partial paralysis. We are helping him get treatment. The funny thing is I can barely help him, because I can barely help myself. Luckily he has my other 2 brothers too. I have been living on savings but I have been very inactive at work. This situation has led me to ask for help too, because I feel I am too weak or unstable to do a job appropriately and keeping it.
 
During college, another girl has been interested in me and tried to show it to me in several ways. We both have noticed and liked each other from the start. And she kept showing interest until the end. She would flirt with her hair and sometimes would do it in a slow and obvious way. She would also turn back to look at me and hold her eyes on me when there was no one else to look at. Anyway I looked her up via Facebook a week after I left college and could not find her. A week ago (it has been 4 weeks now since I left college) I tried again and found her. I sent her a friend invitation and a long message talking about all the details and things I notice about her and what she would say or do. I did that to show her that I care and because I showed little interest to her and wanted to make up for it, since she was the one who did most of the effort. But most importantly because I think she felt something for me and I felt something for her too. I went through her Facebook photo album. There I could see her in situations I hadn’t seen her before and made all this more painful. Some photos I am trying to forget in which they show her as a nice and beautiful person, much more that I had noticed. I regret not having done that before either in person or via Internet, I mean seeing her more in detail and act more appropriately to the situation
Last week I went to the train station because I know she probably uses it to come from her city to mine to attend college. I couldn’t find her. So I tried later in college too. I found out that it was exams week and all activity was suspended. This took a considerable effort from me, not only because of my physical weakness and depression but because it cost me a lot to get over myself and my doubts and fears. It was a huge deal for me. It has been so long I don’t do anything like this that I don’t even remember it.
During the weekend I was troubled with the idea I had let too much time pass (3 weeks now it is the 4th week). But on the weekend I started to lose enthusiasm and to believe this is not going to happen. Last week when I found her on Facebook I had this impulse and I suppose I got brave enough to write her and lengthy message and send her the friend invitation to her Facebook account. A few minutes after I was done she got online and accepted my invitation and stayed a few minutes online. I was totally surprised to this and stood there waiting maybe for her to read the message and talk to me. I didn’t have the courage to call her attention. I really regret this. I have the feeling she may have changed her mind about me now that I dropped out of college or that I waited for too long or that I was not showing enough interest to her, I admit it. But she sensed or felt something from me too some gestures, some help offers for a particular homework and so on.
What happened is that I clicked something on my account related to visibility to avoid surprises like that and it seemed to have erased her. That is one possibility, the other being that she “disinvited” herself or canceled our friendship. She was very interested in me, and if I had been a guy who was fine with his life (she looked at me and keep her eyes on me knowing I was looking in her direction) I am sure we would be dating now. This reminded me of what a lousy condition I am in. When I went through her Facebook photos I realized a few things : she lives one-hour-and-a-quarter away trip from my location, she has a medium-high social status (I have a medium-low), she is young (no more than 20, I am 31) , she has a very active social life (mine is low to none), I would probably have to find out whether she is a believer, and most importantly she has a healthy life (I don’t think I do). On the plus side, we both like each other, especially her when she was so insistent and intense.
It seemed stupid or crazy to try to get a date with this girl. Especially because of my more than inactivity or paralysis in life. That means social skills too. That means having an active mind, an attractive attitude and all that. Having friends too, the few friends I had left all took off to their cities of other places. The friends I had living here got distanced and angry at each others. Its been so long I don’t go out I don’t even remember. And it is even more when we are speaking of a date. It just seems impossible. I have never been good at dating or with girls but I had some but so long ago I don’t even remember. I remember on a date been told that I was one the guys who was very talkative. I was full of life, but I was a different person. I feel and know I am the total opposite. I feel kind of dead, broken inside. I saw a photo of her all dressed up and smiling and so natural walking in a night club. I was just horrified. I thought she’s at her best, I’m at my worst. Just too intimidating. I have a small hope for some time ahead in case I feel better and more confident, but I know the time would be now but I don’t feel ready at all. I did all this because I felt something for her and I think I love her and that pushed my to get in contact with her and write her a “letter” or message via Facebook. I share all this because I had and still have hope, even if little, to meet her again. But mostly because I’m starting to let go of her and it hurts so much. I have such a crush on her. I have been crying over this and my leaving college and that’s why I have been depressed. I don’t know what can be expected of this
As for talking with a priest, I have spoken with 2 already. One has suggested a psychologist and the other said the last thing he would do is to suggest that, he thinks it’s a personal and spiritual matter, not a psychological. I hope to make up my mind these days with another priest to finally go on with my life. But what I will ask from them no matter what is how to start remaking my life from zero living a spiritual life. I remind you that I was practically an atheist who became gradually a believer and never felt comfortable or satisfied. In fact this failure caused me tremendous amounts of pain and in some way helped my depression grow. I feel have become overzealous or strict with my new found faith and that’s why I have been lonely so long. I’m struggling with my life and with my faith. My worse pain is my faith and loneliness. I know I have done some thing right in my life but I feel a total failure. A virgin (or semi-virgin) of life.
One of the things I wanted to ask you about is for ways or strategies of meeting new people and places where I can find people who believe. I have tried with a couple of groups but it seems that one is not suitable for me for their inner working and the other seems to advance at a horribly slow pace.
Any suggestion about meeting new people or advice about anything I shared about me is welcome. That is why I wrote it. And for you to see what to ask for me if you want to pray for me. I really need all the help I can get. Thank you so much for your love, help and prayers.
 
I agree with the first priest…You need the help of a good psychiatrist…But would add that your priest/confessor be involved in this as well. Do not hesitate on this.

Father in Heaven - be with your child Jose. Give him peace and guidance as he walks the rugged path to wherever you need him to be.

Peace
James
 
The Lord is with you and He wants you to turn to Him and give Him your problems. I sensed that you are trying to connect emotionally with someone. Someone who will encourage and love you for who you are. God can do that. Do you believe that God loves you and wants the best for you? Do you have enough love for yourself that you will not allow yourself to be hurt and live depressed? Would you want your best friend to live that way? Then why let yourself.
You are right, you have to become a stronger person before you begin a relationship with a girl. Otherwise you will only want her to be as miserable as you have been in order to be friends and that will not work. No one will want a relationship with someone who cannot be productive in the world. SO work on yourself first. If depression is the main problem, ask God to show you the way. The healthier you become the feelings of depression will become so crowded out that there will be no room for these self-destructive feelings. You have to be well-grounded first. Yes, you had a difficult childhood, everything is still difficult now. But with the help of God you can arise above it. It won’t happen overnight. You will have to work for it. Looking from my view, I would say go back to school, study hard and make that a priority. Accomplish that and you will feel better about yourself. Apply your mind to being a good student. You will have plenty of time to find a suitable mate later on. Trust in God, not yourself, and let God show you the way. Attend church often, have a set of prayers to say morning, noon, and night. No one can solve your problems for you except yourself. God willl give you the wisdom to do that, but you must ask Him. Take courage and don’t give up. God gave you life and He wants you to help build the world. He gave you talents that can accomplish that. It is time to forget a difficult life. You can move ahead, and stop replaying past hurts, with the help of God. We join you in prayer, through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Son of the living God.
 
I agree as well that medical help woud be a good idea. I am generally not in favor of anti-depressants, but the one way they are very good is that they can sort of give you a jump start so your counselling (whether with a phychologist or a priest) has a better chance of helping you. Depression can be a downward spiral, with negative thoughts causing chemical imbalances and chemical imbalances causing negative thoughts–at least that is what I remember from what I learned in college.

I know from experience that you will have to deal with the depression before you can have a healthy relationship. Fortunately, you are a man so you aren’t as constrained by age as a woman would be. You have time. Do not be anxious about it if you can help it.

I know you are lonely and this may sound stupid, but I believe it may help. Have you considered getting a pet, maybe a puppy? Its need of you could help you get the energy to get up and around more, and its love for you may help you feel less alone.

Also, I will pray for you:

Dear Lord, watch over and console Jose and help him to feel your presence in his life. You, Lord, who know everything, please help him to make decisions about what to do in life. Help him to be interested in the things around him and help him to find work. Help him to find the right doctor and to be healed of his depression. Then, Lord, if it is in accord with Your will, lead him to a woman with whom he can start a loving family that is centered around You. I ask this in the name of Jesus our Lord and Savior. Amen.

–Jen
 
Please know that I am praying with you and that God hears all of our prayers. Never lose faith that God will help you to overcome all the negative things in your life, my friend!
 
revert_jen said:
I agree as well that medical help woud be a good idea. I am generally not in favor of anti-depressants, but the one way they are very good is that they can sort of give you a jump start so your counselling (whether with a phychologist or a priest) has a better chance of helping you. Depression can be a downward spiral, with negative thoughts causing chemical imbalances and chemical imbalances causing negative thoughts–at least that is what I remember from what I learned in college.

I know from experience that you will have to deal with the depression before you can have a healthy relationship. Fortunately, you are a man so you aren’t as constrained by age as a woman would be. You have time. Do not be anxious about it if you can help it.

I know you are lonely and this may sound stupid, but I believe it may help. Have you considered getting a pet, maybe a puppy? Its need of you could help you get the energy to get up and around more, and its love for you may help you feel less alone.

Also, I will pray for you:

Dear Lord, watch over and console Jose and help him to feel your presence in his life. You, Lord, who know everything, please help him to make decisions about what to do in life. Help him to be interested in the things around him and help him to find work. Help him to find the right doctor and to be healed of his depression. Then, Lord, if it is in accord with Your will, lead him to a woman with whom he can start a loving family that is centered around You. I ask this in the name of Jesus our Lord and Savior. Amen.

–Jen
Click to expand...
👍 This is excellent advice.

My advice is: continue to seek (medical) help with your depression. Try not to despair–if you are finding life difficult now, that does not mean that you will also feel this exact same way in a year or two, especially if you are working on yourself and the challenges you face. You are still young, and still have time to meet the right girl and have a beautiful family, but get emotionally healthy first. Do it for yourself, and your future family. Also, continue to work on your spiritual life. There is a definite possiblity that both priests you spoke to were correct in their advice.

In addition to this, I would suggest plenty of fresh air and exercise. It can do wonders for your mood. Drink lots of water, and try to eat healthier. If you find it difficult to make major changes in your lifestyle, start with small ones, for example, start by adding fresh fruit to your diet, as it takes almost no preparation. (Of course, ask your doctor first about all these things. It probably wouldn’t hurt to go in for a physical (check up) with your doctor. There may be a physical cause to the way you are feeling as well.)

The next step, as soon as your are ready, is to seek out which line of studies/work suits you. Think of your personality, and the kinds of things you like to do. Perhaps you can spend a day on the job with somebody in the line of work that you wish to pursue, to see if it is a good match for you.

I’ll pray for you, too. God bless you.
 
Thanks Jose for your sharing in forum.Catholic. All of us, off and on, have difficulties with our Faith –even the great saints like the 12 Apostles, St. Thérèse of Lisieux, etc. I found the following reflections helpful during such times of trial. I hope you would too:

First Aid in Faith & Hope : In Moments of Spiritual Darkness
“And you shall seek Me, and find Me, when you shall search for Me with all your heart.”(Jer.29:13)

A Prayer
Lord, I have given up my pride, and turned from my arrogance. I am not concerned with great matters or with subjects too difficult for me. But I am content and at peace.
As a child lies quietly in its mother’s arms, so my heart is quiet within me.
I trust in the Lord from now on and forever! (Psalm 131,GNB; slightly adapted)

Nature of FaithFaith is essentially dark because it is about “the existence of the realities that at present remain unseen.”(cf.,Heb.11:1; 2Cor.4:17-18) and “What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror…” (1Cor.13:12)
*
Even the monk, “alone with God, fully aware of his own poverty, fallibility and blindness, suffers the same trails of faith as other Christians, and suffers it in a more acute and penetrating way… What he learns is not a clearer idea of God but a deeper trust, a purer love and a more complete abandonment to One he knows to be beyond all understanding.” (Thomas Merton, a modern Trappist monk in his Contemplation in a World of Action)
*
To practise the living in the presence of God, according to the Jesuit Rodriguez (St. Alphonsus Rodriguez?) we need only to make an act of faith: “By forming a simple act of faith, supposing that He is actually and effectually present, because faith assures us that He is so, without searching any further how He is present.”
*
But, “it is not necessary to strain your mind in such a way as to forget the things you have to do or the recreations you must take. This only is needed, that while going about your occupations you turn to God from time to time just as you turn to those you love and who love you.” (St. Alphonsus Liguori, 1696-1787, in Familiarity with God)
*
“Let nothing trouble or frighten you, for all things pass away except God who never changes.” (St. Teresa of Avila, 1515-1582)
*
“When you are in an abyss of fear, the Heart of Jesus is an abyss confidence and love. Abandon yourself to It. You will learn that fear should yield to love.” (St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, 1647-1690)
 
Hello Jose_Rodriguez,

Thank you for inviting me to participate on this thread. Please know that I have been reading it and have been praying for you since your first thread. I have just been really busy with other matters which have cooled off. I will be back.

Briefly, I would like to say that I like that idea about getting a pet. Do you like dogs?

May the peace of Our Lord Jesus Christ be with you and may our Blessed Mother Mary protect you and guide you to her son.

Peace,

Abba
 
Dear Jose_Rodriguez,

As promised, I am back to contribute a little to your thread. I hope you are feeling better. You have received good advice from the other posters and your priests. You would need to take the time and reflect on the variety of advice you have received and select the ones that you consider best applies to you and will better help you.

I would just add one more to this thread and it is one that if I remember correctly I already mentioned to you. I will mention it again and that is to see what you can do to help others. Some years ago, Jose_Rodriguez, I participated on a thread on another forum where a person was suffering depression and was seeking advice and consolation. I adviced the person to try and find a way to help people that are suffering and may be dealing with difficult situations such as the sick, the imprisoned, the homeless, etc… the post was quite detailed and clear. A poster came on and wrote that he wished he had read my post six year before when he was suffering from a deep depression. He said that six years earlier he was suffering from depression after the death of his grandmother with whom he was really close. He had a difficult time adjusting to living without her and became depressed. He described his painful experience and how it went on for two to three years. Additionally, he suffers from a painful infirmity that has to do with the intestines and at one point during his isolation and pain and out of some coincidence he ended up helping a single mom of three children. He shared that helping her and the children for a couple of weeks and witnessing how difficult life was for them was the beginning of his healing. After that, (again, I don’t remember the exact details as this was about five years ago,) he volunteered as a missionary in South America and well life went on.

I think that when we confront a big problem sometimes we can focus so much on that pain, anxiety, we end up isolating ourselves not just socially but also our very thoughts become focused on ourselves and our concerns for ourselves - then our thoughts get trapped in that circle and we become self consumed if you will. It can sometimes be, like having a tooth ache and when we do have a bad tooth ache - that’s about all we can think of - that pain of that tooth ache.

Many years ago, I saw a tv documentary in France about the people who were suffering mentally after the Croatian war. There were many interesting cases and there is one that just came to mind and that is of a young man. This young man was a bit of a leader in his small neighborhood and he was armed and fighting. One day he returned to the neighborhood and a younger man was assigned to go and fight with him. He knew well the young man and the family as they had been neighbors all their life. The mother of the young man told the older one to take care of her son and he assured the woman that he most certainly will. Days later they were in the battle field and the older man (who was only in his mid twenties) gave a pack of cigarrettes to the younger one and told him to stay by a certain tree. The older was going to fight but did not one the younger to be in danger. When he returned to the tree the younger had been killed. When he returned to the neighborhood, the mother of the young man said to him: Why did you let them kill my son? From the moment the woman uttered those words the young man was consumed with guilt and is tormented by his feeling of guilt in an insane asylum in Europe. Another case, is of a young woman who was about fifteen at the time. Soldier asked her where father was and she told them that he was out in the field they killed her mother and when they left she ran to the field to warn her father only to find that the soldiers on their way out stopped by the field and killed him. The young women was consumed with guilt and holds herself responsible for the death of her father.

I mention these two cases because the show how people can focus so much on an occurence that they become disconnected from their surrounding. What is healthy is to keep a balance as much as we can and not to become self observed. I think that this is why helping others can sometimes be the best remedy for a psychological depression. Caring for others takes the focus from ourselves and clears the way for us to gain perspective on our situation and the problems we are encountering and dealing with.

This is why I suggested that prayer I mentioned to you: Quince Minutos en Compania de Jesus Sacramentado. Also, how about helping your father? Maybe you can make a committment to assist him one afternoon per week. Remember, we were all created in the image of God and God gave us all particular gifts and we need to serve and put those gifts to good use. Big or small there is always something we can contribute to help others and our community. Finally and foremost, I recommend the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It is beautiful to be permitted to be in the presence of God and confess our sins and be forgiven. We need to accept that we have been forgiven and and trust in the mercy of God. The Sacrament of Reconciation gives us healing even though we may not notice it.

I said a mouth full. 🙂 I wish you the best and will keep you in my humble prayers.

Que Dios te bendiga y que la Virgen Maria te proteja.
 
Hi there. I feel for you Jose. I know what the darkness is like. Know that Jesus is holding you in His arms and will never let u go. Know that Jesus is the light of your life. Enough of this Wrathful medieval view of God. He is compassionate and so Kind and merciful. Why don’t u contemplate him in his agony in the garden. I’m going to pray for you. For me, Jesus gives me such joy. I am (thanks be to God) at one of the happiest moments in my life. I ask you to go to confession regularly and mass and pray everyday, Ask Jesus to be the light of your life, ask him to give u that peace which the world cannot give. I am almost in tears right now, because I can empathize with how u feel. Ask Jesus to come into your heart in a whole new way. I had a shameful past, but when I think of Jesus’ Love, it often makes me cry. Abandon yourself to your big brother Jesus. U are so important to Jesus, He’s in love with you. Catholicism is the Truth. I will give my life for that. He loves you for who you are and wants u to be truly happy. Jesus is with you. We love you Jose, we’re all in the same boat together. We’re all brothers and sisters in Christ, traveling towards the Promised Land. I will pray for you. Keep the faith. You are not alone. God knows your pain. May God Bless you and keep you and may He bring you to the knowledge of his incomprehensible Love for you. In Our Lord’s eyes you’re worth dying for a million times over. Pax et Bonum 👍
 
seanom said:
Hi there. I feel for you Jose. I know what the darkness is like. Know that Jesus is holding you in His arms and will never let u go. Know that Jesus is the light of your life. Enough of this Wrathful medieval view of God. He is compassionate and so Kind and merciful. Why don’t u contemplate him in his agony in the garden. I’m going to pray for you. For me, Jesus gives me such joy. I am (thanks be to God) at one of the happiest moments in my life. I ask you to go to confession regularly and mass and pray everyday, Ask Jesus to be the light of your life, ask him to give u that peace which the world cannot give. I am almost in tears right now, because I can empathize with how u feel. Ask Jesus to come into your heart in a whole new way. I had a shameful past, but when I think of Jesus’ Love, it often makes me cry. Abandon yourself to your big brother Jesus. U are so important to Jesus, He’s in love with you. Catholicism is the Truth. I will give my life for that. He loves you for who you are and wants u to be truly happy. Jesus is with you. We love you Jose, we’re all in the same boat together. We’re all brothers and sisters in Christ, traveling towards the Promised Land. I will pray for you. Keep the faith. You are not alone. God knows your pain. May God Bless you and keep you and may He bring you to the knowledge of his incomprehensible Love for you. In Our Lord’s eyes you’re worth dying for a million times over. Pax et Bonum 👍
Click to expand...
A most beautiful and truthful post. 🙂
A Thanksgiving Prayer

Oh, God, when I have food,
help me to remember the hungry.
When I have work, help me
to remember the jobless.
When I have a warm home,
help me to remember the homeless.
When I am without pain,
help me to remember those who suffer.
And remembering, help me
to destroy my complacency
and bestir my compassion.
Make me concerned enough
to help, by word and deed,
those who cry out
for what we take for granted.

(Samuel F. Pugh)

“Jesus said to His disciples: “My heart is moved with pity for the crowd…” He took seven loaves and a few small fish, blessed them and distributed them. About 4,000 people ate their full.” Mark 8:2-9.
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top