Faith crisis

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Dan_Pires

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I’ve always been a skeptic man. I am born in a catholic house, but I was agnostic for some time because no one would give me answers, until I decided to study history and philosophy giving the church a chance to explain herself, because all I had back then was the post-modern point of view. I was amazed by how rational is the church, I am truly convinced that the catholic church created the western civilization and all that is good in our society.

Also, I’ve studied christian apologetics towards the existence of God, and their arguments makes sense. Much more than the atheists arguments, which I see as a bunch of fallacies. But thing is, I’ve never felt God. I’ve sometimes seen things getting done by millimetrical “coincidences”. But I’ve never heard back anything from Him as a person, I’ve never felt something that I could say for sure: There is God’s hand. I’m trying to attend to the mass and even though I will keep on trying, I sometimes see people taking the hosts… And I wonder: Is it all pointless? Is it all wishful thinking, that we have a better life ahead? Maybe we’re losing time here and that makes me feel silly. And that makes me feel sad. I know that the Church has done wonderful things, but there is an internal voice talking to me beyond reason that maybe there is no God, and it comes to the point of, for example, when I am having a debate about abortion, which I know FOR SURE that is wrong, it keeps telling me: “Maybe they’re right”. But I feel that what they propose is awful, that the world is falling apart and I know it because of my reason!

If it can make any difference, I often doubt myself too, but then when I put myself to the test I prevail. In sport matches, academic exams, etc.

How can I better build my faith? How can I acquire some experiences with God?

Note to moderators: Sorry if I posted this in the wrong board. If that is the case, please move it wherever you feel that it belongs to.
 
Dan_Pires said:
How can I better build my faith? How can I acquire some experiences with God?
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Dan, tell us: How is your prayer life? I’m going to bet lots of money this all ties to your prayer life. Once I started spending one hour in adoration every day, I opened God the space to do things in my life that were previously unimaginable – and the very explicit ways in which He answers my prayers makes it crystal clear that He is listening to me and acting in my life.
 
I think all you can do is open your heart to God, to his Word. Invite Jesus into your heart, literally. As I’ve told my kids in my CCD class, God will not go where he’s not invited - He won’t force himself on you. Invite Him into your heart and before you know it, there will be your feeling of God’s hand in your world.
This is not about an intellectual perspective, it’s about faith. And don’t forget, Satan will do all he can to instill doubt to keep just one soul from Jesus.
I have felt God’s true presence in my life since my eyes were opened. You have to be willing to see the evidence. As long as you approach it from an intellectual, rather than spiritual, direction you won’t allow yourself to see it. You will always find a way to explain it away.
So, that being said I would suggest prayer, maybe some time with a spiritual director, study some of the saints and their lives. All of the faithful, even saints, have struggles with doubt. One of the downsides of our humanity I think. Our egos (and I do truly believe Satan as well) feed the doubt to us.
God bless you and guide you on your journey to Him.
 
Dan_Pires said:
I’ve always been a skeptic man. I am born in a catholic house, but I was agnostic for some time because no one would give me answers, until I decided to study history and philosophy giving the church a chance to explain herself, because all I had back then was the post-modern point of view. I was amazed by how rational is the church, I am truly convinced that the catholic church created the western civilization and all that is good in our society.

Also, I’ve studied christian apologetics towards the existence of God, and their arguments makes sense. Much more than the atheists arguments, which I see as a bunch of fallacies. But thing is, I’ve never felt God. I’ve sometimes seen things getting done by millimetrical “coincidences”. But I’ve never heard back anything from Him as a person, I’ve never felt something that I could say for sure: There is God’s hand. I’m trying to attend to the mass and even though I will keep on trying, I sometimes see people taking the hosts… And I wonder: Is it all pointless? Is it all wishful thinking, that we have a better life ahead? Maybe we’re losing time here and that makes me feel silly. And that makes me feel sad. I know that the Church has done wonderful things, but there is an internal voice talking to me beyond reason that maybe there is no God, and it comes to the point of, for example, when I am having a debate about abortion, which I know FOR SURE that is wrong, it keeps telling me: “Maybe they’re right”. But I feel that what they propose is awful, that the world is falling apart and I know it because of my reason!

If it can make any difference, I often doubt myself too, but then when I put myself to the test I prevail. In sport matches, academic exams, etc.

How can I better build my faith? How can I acquire some experiences with God?

Note to moderators: Sorry if I posted this in the wrong board. If that is the case, please move it wherever you feel that it belongs to.
Click to expand...
Blessed are they who believe but have never seen. If your prayer life is attended to and you follow the Church. If you live repenting & doing penance and resisting sin then this could be a cross you have to bear. If you continue than you will recieve many graces.
 
Dan_Pires said:
I’ve always been a skeptic man. I am born in a catholic house, but I was agnostic for some time because no one would give me answers, until I decided to study history and philosophy giving the church a chance to explain herself, because all I had back then was the post-modern point of view. I was amazed by how rational is the church, I am truly convinced that the catholic church created the western civilization and all that is good in our society.

Also, I’ve studied christian apologetics towards the existence of God, and their arguments makes sense. Much more than the atheists arguments, which I see as a bunch of fallacies. But thing is, I’ve never felt God. I’ve sometimes seen things getting done by millimetrical “coincidences”. But I’ve never heard back anything from Him as a person, I’ve never felt something that I could say for sure: There is God’s hand. I’m trying to attend to the mass and even though I will keep on trying, I sometimes see people taking the hosts… And I wonder: Is it all pointless? Is it all wishful thinking, that we have a better life ahead? Maybe we’re losing time here and that makes me feel silly. And that makes me feel sad. I know that the Church has done wonderful things, but there is an internal voice talking to me beyond reason that maybe there is no God, and it comes to the point of, for example, when I am having a debate about abortion, which I know FOR SURE that is wrong, it keeps telling me: “Maybe they’re right”. But I feel that what they propose is awful, that the world is falling apart and I know it because of my reason!

If it can make any difference, I often doubt myself too, but then when I put myself to the test I prevail. In sport matches, academic exams, etc.

How can I better build my faith? How can I acquire some experiences with God?

Note to moderators: Sorry if I posted this in the wrong board. If that is the case, please move it wherever you feel that it belongs to.
Click to expand...
Pray to St Thomas. He has done more for people like you and me than all the Saints who took it on faith. He, of course, couldn’t believe until he saw Jesus and placed his fingers in Jesus side. He shows all of us who doubt, that Jesus will eventually make Himself known to us.

I didn’t believe. For over 50 years, I couldn’t. My logical engineer mind couldn’t make that leap of faith. I didn’t have much of a religious upbringing. At the age of 10, I was baptised in a Methodist church because my mother thought it would be a good idea if we were exposed to religion. I married a Catholic woman who prayed for me for almost a quarter century. When I would go to church with her a few times a year, my only prayer was, “Lord, if you are out there, then help me believe.”

It was too fantastic to believe. How could I believe that God took the form of a man and came down to earth, made blind men to see, healed lepers and the lame, raised people from the dead, only to allow Himself to be killed, and that would somehow reconcile us to Him?

Still it happened. One night during a family crisis, God opened my eyes and made me believe and I gave him my fiat that I would join the church. And then I believed everything. Angels, saints, miracles - everything. And then I saw how imperfect I was and how I needed to change - not just my behavior, but my heart.

So persist and be patient. Ask for God to reveal Himself to you, but remember, He does things on His time schedule - not ours.

Peace,
John
 
@Safia - I won’t lie: I have some attention span problems, I don’t separate some time of the day for God. I just try to talk to him randomly through the day. I don’t use the rosary very often. You’re probably right, I will take this into consideration.

@Irish and Blues - Thank you! I’ll take that into account! I agree that I must have persistance, because the bible tells us that it will all happen in His time, not mine. It won’t do me any harm to follow such a blessed doctrine.

@John - your words are precious. It is good to know that I’m not the only one with the past or present burden of being a man of little faith. It is inspiring to know that you overcame it.

Thank you all, brothers.
 
Dan,

I recommend reading St Augustine’s Confessions. There is also an audio version that I have downloaded to my mp3 player. St Augustine of course initially struggled with religion but after his conversion he became a Doctor of the church.

Here’s the link to the Audio:
librivox.org/confessions-by-saint-augustine-of-hippo/
Oh, too late have I loved thee, beauty so ancient and so new, too late have I loved thee. Behold, thou wast within me and I was searching outside, among the beauty of thy creation. At last, didst thou call out loud, didst thou force open my deafness and didst chase away my blindness. Thou didst breathe fragrant odours and I drew in my breath; and now I pant for thee. Thou didst touch me, and I burned for thy peace. Lord, have pity on me; my evil sorrows contend with my good joys. Lord, have pity on me. Thou art the Physician, I am the sick man; thou art merciful, I need mercy. Is not the life of man on earth an ordeal? My whole hope is in thy exceeding great mercy and that alone. Give what thou commandest and command what thou wilt. O Love, O my God, enkindle me! - St. Augustine
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Strange, this book has been attracting me, but I can’t find it to buy in bookstores here in Brazil and I don’t like to read online. I’ll search some more.
 
Dan_Pires said:
I’ve always been a skeptic man. I am born in a catholic house, but I was agnostic for some time because no one would give me answers, until I decided to study history and philosophy giving the church a chance to explain herself, because all I had back then was the post-modern point of view. I was amazed by how rational is the church, I am truly convinced that the catholic church created the western civilization and all that is good in our society.

Also, I’ve studied christian apologetics towards the existence of God, and their arguments makes sense. Much more than the atheists arguments, which I see as a bunch of fallacies. But thing is, I’ve never felt God. I’ve sometimes seen things getting done by millimetrical “coincidences”. But I’ve never heard back anything from Him as a person, I’ve never felt something that I could say for sure: There is God’s hand. I’m trying to attend to the mass and even though I will keep on trying, I sometimes see people taking the hosts… And I wonder: Is it all pointless? Is it all wishful thinking, that we have a better life ahead? Maybe we’re losing time here and that makes me feel silly. And that makes me feel sad. I know that the Church has done wonderful things, but there is an internal voice talking to me beyond reason that maybe there is no God, and it comes to the point of, for example, when I am having a debate about abortion, which I know FOR SURE that is wrong, it keeps telling me: “Maybe they’re right”. But I feel that what they propose is awful, that the world is falling apart and I know it because of my reason!

If it can make any difference, I often doubt myself too, but then when I put myself to the test I prevail. In sport matches, academic exams, etc.

How can I better build my faith? How can I acquire some experiences with God?

Note to moderators: Sorry if I posted this in the wrong board. If that is the case, please move it wherever you feel that it belongs to.
Click to expand...
I suppose I was a bit like you, but nowhere near as conscientious when it came to researching apologetic arguments.

I became a Christian in 1982, at the tail end of the worst 4 years of my life, in hindsight. But about a year later, I wasn’t in a very good mood for various reasons, and my I was developing a short fuse with my “faith”.

At Chritmas 1983, I was supposed to be a “leader” at a Scripture Union “Beach Mission” camp. One afternoon, as we were sitting around in a circle doing a Bible Study led by the camp leader, I thought, “How do I know this is reall, and not just a psychological prop?”

That was the frame of mind I was in.

As we sat there, the leader read something from Samuel, and as he did so, a “double whammy” hit me. It’s like a breath going through you in waves from head to foot. I got such a shock I nearly fell off the seat. It was quite obvious I’d just been contacted spiritually, and there was no way I could doubt God’s existence after that.

It happened twice more in church over the next year or two, and hasn’t happened since. Each time it was used to highlight words that were being spoken at that very time.

But there’s a catch - if God gives you something like that, it automatically seems to give the devil permission to give similar, if not identical, “confirmations”, and it can be very, very deceptive.

My suggestion to you is that you pray to God, and ask Him directly for some sort of confirmation that He exists, and that He knows you personally, which is what you’re after.

Then you’ll have to wait - patiently. I know this much - it will come out of the blue, and when you’re not expecting it. At no time did I expect what I got, but it came anyway. And each time it surprised me, although by the third time I’d had so many demonic counterfeits, I was very cynical, and downplayed the message.

So I’d suggest you pray, and wait. God’s there all right, and He knows you too. When He hit me with the double whammies, He knew the frame of mind that I was in, what was about to be said, and what He wanted to say. Bear in mind that in astronomical spacial terms, by the time I got hit the third time, I was billions of miles from where I was the first time, as a year or more had probably passed. And we move a long way in a year. Yet He still knew where to find me, what was about to be said, and my frame of mind.

He doesn’t miss much. So if you pray, He hears you. But He’ll answer in His time. I know that much, and when He does, it will be when you least expect it. So don’t pray and then sit around waiting for an answer, almost willing Him to reply. While you’ve got that frame of mind, He won’t respond.

That’s my advice. But like I said, be prepared then for activity from the other side, which is, in a sense, also confirmation that God exists. But He’s also got enemies.
 
Dan,

“You have to be willing to see the evidence. As long as you approach it from an intellectual, rather than spiritual, direction you won’t allow yourself to see it. You will always find a way to explain it away.” By Irishrush​

That is good advise and along that note I would suggest that you read the
Diary of St. Maria Faustina. It is all about the spiritual and well written.

In addition for your intellectual side, read Theology for Beginners by Sheed.
Tho this is intellectual his approach is spiritual, and very clear.

Read Rome Sweet Home by Hahn for a real insight to a struggle. It will get to you.
This is also very spiritual.

In addition you really should set up a definite daily prayer life but I don’t know what private prayers may interest you. But at least 15 to 30 minutes every day should be devoted to prayers and it should be iron clad with no excuses.

When we don’t pray, this is what we are saying, “I can do it on my own”,or “it is a waste of time”, or “I don’t have the time and i won’t make the time”, or “it’s too hard”, or “i’m too tired”, or …or…

What does God hear? He dosen’t need me.

Think again. You won’t make it. It’s been tried before lots of times and the outcome is always the same, failure. Don’t do this to yourself. Stick with a absolute routine of prayer, whatever you set up for yourself. Do it faithfully.
Neglect anything else but not prayers. Even if you must do them after midnight.
Just do it. Now I know you might think that i’m too bossy. I admit, I am. But if I am, I am concerned for you.

I will pray for you.
 
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