Faith In Times of Illness

[Steve80]

I believe God has a reason for everything we experience, and that when we die the benefits of our trials are revealed. Our trials are a few indistinguishable pieces of a larger puzzle. For many, it is difficult to accept this when your own child is suffering from a terminal illness.

I’m looking for some suggestions on how to approach friends, family, and relatives on the topic of faith when faced with such a heartbreaking circumstance. What do you say to instill faith into the onlooker who witnesses the suffering of a child? How do you encourage the child to keep holding on to hope and faith?

Most of the things I think to say require a firm foundation in faith, trusting in God and in His promises. To the frail in faith, these words seem hollow under such circumstances as a dying child. I’m not looking to convert anyone overnight or explain why we suffer in a few short sentences. I’m looking to plant that seed of a hope that comes from faith, particularly for those who are unaccustomed to putting complete faith and trust in God.

 

[CatholicRaven]

I’m sorry for your struggles, and I understand the temptation to say something that might be true, but not particularly helpful to those who are suffering. I understand that you want to help, you want to give them some of the faith and hope that you have, you want them to have that relationship with God too–but please realize, usually in this situation, words aren’t enough.

When someone is struggling with faith in time of illness, this is not the time to preach, no matter how pretty the words. This is the time to practice what you preach.

Those who are suffering don’t need a sermon, they need love. Active love. The kind Christ gave us in His suffering, especially when He was on the cross. Those are the seeds you need to plant.

Visit the sick and the dying. Be there for them. Be present when appropriate, but remain in the background as much as possible. Quietly do what needs to be done without seeking thanks or praise. Be a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand, a friend who will listen without judgement and without trying to “fix” the person–even if they are broken.

And pray for them. Often, and sometimes even aloud when you are with them (but not in a “look, I’m praying, you should pray too,” kind of way). You can invite them to pray with you, but be polite and gentle; don’t push. If they seem offended by your prayers, then back off and pray silently. Love, even love of God, cannot be forced.

And for those who are not struggling with illness (themselves or a loved one), don’t wait for them to struggle with suffering; learn to speak with them gently and lovingly now, while there is still time. But continue to practice what you profess. Live it. I have found that the best teacher is example. When others see your joy, your faith, your hope, and your love through your actions, then they will want what you have. Don’t try to do the Holy Spirit’s job; let Him work through you. Let them see love in your actions, and that way, they will see Christ in you and begin to know Him.

Most people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Will for you and your friends and family.

 

[cheezey]

I’m sorry for your struggles, and I understand the temptation to say something that might be true, but not particularly helpful to those who are suffering. I understand that you want to help, you want to give them some of the faith and hope that you have, you want them to have that relationship with God too–but please realize, usually in this situation, words aren’t enough.

When someone is struggling with faith in time of illness, this is not the time to preach, no matter how pretty the words. This is the time to practice what you preach.

Those who are suffering don’t need a sermon, they need love. Active love. The kind Christ gave us in His suffering, especially when He was on the cross. Those are the seeds you need to plant.

Visit the sick and the dying. Be there for them. Be present when appropriate, but remain in the background as much as possible. Quietly do what needs to be done without seeking thanks or praise. Be a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand, a friend who will listen without judgement and without trying to “fix” the person–even if they are broken.

And pray for them. Often, and sometimes even aloud when you are with them (but not in a “look, I’m praying, you should pray too,” kind of way). You can invite them to pray with you, but be polite and gentle; don’t push. If they seem offended by your prayers, then back off and pray silently. Love, even love of God, cannot be forced.

And for those who are not struggling with illness (themselves or a loved one), don’t wait for them to struggle with suffering; learn to speak with them gently and lovingly now, while there is still time. But continue to practice what you profess. Live it. I have found that the best teacher is example. When others see your joy, your faith, your hope, and your love through your actions, then they will want what you have. Don’t try to do the Holy Spirit’s job; let Him work through you. Let them see love in your actions, and that way, they will see Christ in you and begin to know Him.

Most people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Will for you and your friends and family.

:clapping::clapping::clapping:

Excellent.

Praying for you, Steve.
God Bless.

 

[Steve80]

I’m sorry for your struggles, and I understand the temptation to say something that might be true, but not particularly helpful to those who are suffering. I understand that you want to help, you want to give them some of the faith and hope that you have, you want them to have that relationship with God too–but please realize, usually in this situation, words aren’t enough.

When someone is struggling with faith in time of illness, this is not the time to preach, no matter how pretty the words. This is the time to practice what you preach.

Those who are suffering don’t need a sermon, they need love. Active love. The kind Christ gave us in His suffering, especially when He was on the cross. Those are the seeds you need to plant.

Visit the sick and the dying. Be there for them. Be present when appropriate, but remain in the background as much as possible. Quietly do what needs to be done without seeking thanks or praise. Be a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand, a friend who will listen without judgement and without trying to “fix” the person–even if they are broken.

And pray for them. Often, and sometimes even aloud when you are with them (but not in a “look, I’m praying, you should pray too,” kind of way). You can invite them to pray with you, but be polite and gentle; don’t push. If they seem offended by your prayers, then back off and pray silently. Love, even love of God, cannot be forced.

And for those who are not struggling with illness (themselves or a loved one), don’t wait for them to struggle with suffering; learn to speak with them gently and lovingly now, while there is still time. But continue to practice what you profess. Live it. I have found that the best teacher is example. When others see your joy, your faith, your hope, and your love through your actions, then they will want what you have. Don’t try to do the Holy Spirit’s job; let Him work through you. Let them see love in your actions, and that way, they will see Christ in you and begin to know Him.

Most people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Will for you and your friends and family.

Thanks for such a wonderful reply and words of encouragement.

 

[Bonnie]

When someone is struggling with faith in time of illness, this is not the time to preach, no matter how pretty the words. This is the time to practice what you preach.

Those who are suffering don’t need a sermon, they need love. Active love. The kind Christ gave us in His suffering, especially when He was on the cross. Those are the seeds you need to plant.

Visit the sick and the dying. Be there for them. Be present when appropriate, but remain in the background as much as possible. Quietly do what needs to be done without seeking thanks or praise. Be a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand, a friend who will listen without judgement and without trying to “fix” the person–even if they are broken.

Having been there, I can whole-heartedly agree with this. I like to pass on coping tips I learned from experience. For instance, offer up pain before it gets really bad - when pain is very bad it’s hard to pray. And as much as I dislike tv, it’s a great help when you’re in pain. Funny movies are especially good, but almost any show will take your mind off your pain. I even watched infomercials when I couldn’t sleep due to pain and didn’t want to take any more pills.

A friend who suffers from chronic pain send me a couple of “letters” that helped me when I was in pain. Google “Tips for dealing with people in pain” and “Letter to people without chronic pain.”

There is a reason why every hospital room has a tv!

Platitudes come across as preachy. Don’t tell the person who is ill or in pain that God works all things to good for those who love Him, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, God knows what is best, or, the worst one, have faith!

 

[MaryT777]

I’m sorry for your struggles, and I understand the temptation to say something that might be true, but not particularly helpful to those who are suffering. I understand that you want to help, you want to give them some of the faith and hope that you have, you want them to have that relationship with God too–but please realize, usually in this situation, words aren’t enough.

When someone is struggling with faith in time of illness, this is not the time to preach, no matter how pretty the words. This is the time to practice what you preach.

Those who are suffering don’t need a sermon, they need love. Active love. The kind Christ gave us in His suffering, especially when He was on the cross. Those are the seeds you need to plant.

Visit the sick and the dying. Be there for them. Be present when appropriate, but remain in the background as much as possible. Quietly do what needs to be done without seeking thanks or praise. Be a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand, a friend who will listen without judgement and without trying to “fix” the person–even if they are broken.

And pray for them. Often, and sometimes even aloud when you are with them (but not in a “look, I’m praying, you should pray too,” kind of way). You can invite them to pray with you, but be polite and gentle; don’t push. If they seem offended by your prayers, then back off and pray silently. Love, even love of God, cannot be forced.

And for those who are not struggling with illness (themselves or a loved one), don’t wait for them to struggle with suffering; learn to speak with them gently and lovingly now, while there is still time. But continue to practice what you profess. Live it. I have found that the best teacher is example. When others see your joy, your faith, your hope, and your love through your actions, then they will want what you have. Don’t try to do the Holy Spirit’s job; let Him work through you. Let them see love in your actions, and that way, they will see Christ in you and begin to know Him.

Most people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Will for you and your friends and family.

Well said.
Mary.