Faith struggles

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Since last July, I have been struggling with my faith. I feel a sense of grief and loneliness that I cant explain. I didnt realize that I had a child-like faith my whole life until I lost it. Looking back, I realized that I never doubted or questioned God’s existence, God’s Love for me & my family. I loved learning about Jesus, Catholicism, the bible… I had a real passion for it.

Without getting into all the details as to how I lost my faith, I grieve the loss of my faith daily. I miss God! I question if he exists. Im angry & depressed.

My daughter started faith formation in August & she attends every Wednesday. This was a time that I really looked forward to since she was a baby. I hoped to be a source of guidance and help to her on her faith walk but instead Im struggling with my own faith. She does not know that I struggle.

My spark is gone - my excitement about my faith is gone :confused:

Has anyone else been through this?
 
I went through something like that once. Thankfully, it only lasted for about two weeks. I knew that "some higher power or powers) had created all, but was unsure about God. It was because of a stupid book I had read and because I was spiritually sensing something very strange and that I felt was “neither good nor evil.” Eventually I realized I was proabalby sensing demons and prayed to God to make them go away if that’s what they were. Soon after that, I sensed God and believed fully in Him again.

I suggest reading about the miracles at Fatima and Guadeloupe and praying as much as you can. If you can, go to Eucharistic adoration. I will pray for you as well.
 
It’s not uncommon even for the greatest saints to have a distant sense of Christ in their lives, yet they persevere in faith, setting a great example of belief in the face of dryness. Mother Teresa experienced this. Padre Pio had this. For years, such darkness persisted in their lives. When I was injured for a couple months, I read Padre Pio’s letters to his spiritual director called Secrets of a Soul. There were many times he felt distant from God, feeling what he thought was cruel pain, but he always persisted to submit to what God wanted of him. It was no easy task. And sometimes we are called to heroism. The good news is, your level of “excitement” doesn’t count in the final order. It just matters if you remained faithful. I’m sorry you have been sent this trial, and I pray you offer up the struggle and persevere in the trust of the Lord.
 
Time to make the doughnuts…

That’s from an old Dunkin’ Donuts commercial. There’s a guy that looks half asleep and a bit listless; certainly not enthused - he even looks like he could use a few cups of coffee… and he says: “Time to make the doughnuts”.

I remember that commercial, because that’s the way I feel a lot of mornings. I wake up and I say to myself: “time to make the doughnuts”.

I’m a Catholic revert that has spent a lot of time praying. I’ve asked Jesus to draw me closer to him, I’ve asked to be filled with a sense of joy, I’ve asked that my faith come alive and that my heart burn with fervor. I’ve begged, I’ve pleaded, I’ve even tried to bargain… know what happened?

Nothing… at least as far as I could tell.

No choir of angles appeared before me, Mother Mary didn’t stop by to tell me that I was doing a good job, I haven’t had any beatific visions… I’ve just been experiencing plain old life.

I think that one of my problems (sometimes) is the fact that I expect instant results - but God doesn’t necessarily work that way. I might see quick results on occasion, but more often than not I have to wait… and sometimes wait and wait. Sometimes it seems like there aren’t any results to my prayers at all.

One of the things that has helped me (and is helping me) is a book called “True Devotion To Mary” (written by Saint Louis De Monfort). It tells me of all the wonderful gifts that my Heavenly Mother wants to give me (and she has so much to give; so much that she WANTS to give).

I pray the Rosary. At first it was difficult for me, but it isn’t so difficult any more. A lot of times I pray the Rosary when I go to bed at night. If I fall asleep before I have finished praying the Rosary… well I like to think that the angels will finish it for me.

I say a morning offering, and offer all my prayers, works, joys and suffering of the day to Jesus through the Immaculate heart of Mary.

One of the things that I realized, is the fact that I wasn’t seeing God work in my life… but that’s because I wasn’t looking at what was right in front of me.

Seeing God in my life (for myself at least) means that I have to begin with a “gratitude attitude”; I have to think about what I have to be grateful for.

I have a car that is running without any problem. I have food in my pantry, and am not starving. I have a roof over my head. I have heat, I have air conditioning, I have indoor plumbing and clean drinking water. I have financial security. All of my bills get paid on time, I get money into savings each month, I have some money left over after everything else is taken care of. I have no heavy cross to bear, at least not at the moment.

Those are blessings from God. God is taking care of me. They are all tender little mercies from God… and that’s something to be grateful for.

And there are other things to be grateful for: My sight, my hearing, my health; the ability to get to Mass, the Blessed Sacrament, Gods forgiveness, Gods love, Gods compassion, Gods understanding, Gods mercy… I could write a long list regarding just how blessed I am.

But I struggle with spiritual aridity. I don’t like it. I don’t like the way that it feels. It’s uncomfortable, and I wish that it would go away… but it hasn’t, at least not yet. Maybe it never will.

But I know that Jesus is close to me. He’s peeking over my shoulder as I type this. He is always close… it just doesn’t always feel that way.

I will remember you in my prayers.

http://forums.catholic-questions.org/picture.php?albumid=1786&pictureid=12056
 
The fact that you are grieving about this suggests that you are going through a period of aridity. God may actually be trying to draw you closer to Himself by taking away the pleasant feelings that were part of your motivation, before, for practicing for your faith: it is better to do things for God because we love Him than because we enjoy doing them. That feeling of fervor is wonderful but it’s not love; love is keeping His commandments.

If you are preparing to be confirmed or are otherwise making more efforts for God, then it’s likely that that is what is happening. Persevere for God’s sake; just ignore the doubts as best you can, and try not to be angry. He knows what He is doing. The trial will pass and you will find blessings on the other side.
 
Lord, please grant kate(name removed by moderator) the gift of faith. Whatever the reason she is arid, please help her to draw closer to you. May she make frequent acts of faith like: Jesus, I trust in you! or Jesus, I believe, help my unbelief! I recommend kate(name removed by moderator) to your holy Mother, Lord. May Mother Mary bring kate(name removed by moderator) closer to you, and shower her with graces. The closer kate(name removed by moderator) gets to Mother Mary, the easier will she come to have faith. May she spend time praying to Mother Mary, asking her for the gift of faith. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer.
 
Without getting into all the details as to how I lost my faith, I grieve the loss of my faith daily. I miss God! I question if he exists. Im angry & depressed.
OK, first of all, you haven’t truly lost your faith, but you are having perhaps your first real challenge to it, and your old child-like faith isn’t going to cut it. Yes, it is a bit frightening when it first happens, as you go through the loss of the joy that came so easily, but what is coming is so much deeper and closer to Jesus – the* real *Jesus – than you could ever realize. It may take time. Do not be afraid! Visit him at Eucharistic Adoration and tell him how you feel, and hold nothing back. Go back as many times as you need.
 
Since last July, I have been struggling with my faith. I feel a sense of grief and loneliness that I cant explain. I didnt realize that I had a child-like faith my whole life until I lost it. Looking back, I realized that I never doubted or questioned God’s existence, God’s Love for me & my family. I loved learning about Jesus, Catholicism, the bible… I had a real passion for it.

Without getting into all the details as to how I lost my faith, I grieve the loss of my faith daily. I miss God! I question if he exists. Im angry & depressed.

My daughter started faith formation in August & she attends every Wednesday. This was a time that I really looked forward to since she was a baby. I hoped to be a source of guidance and help to her on her faith walk but instead Im struggling with my own faith. She does not know that I struggle.

My spark is gone - my excitement about my faith is gone :confused:

Has anyone else been through this?
Sounds as though your faucet of spiritual consolations has been turned off.

Consolations are a way that Jesus has of encouraging us to do better. Sometimes they go on and off for a period of time. Then they will stop. And this is the important part. They stop because He wants to bring us closer to Him. Sounds backward dosen’t it? Because we feel closer to him and seem to pray so much better when we have this joy and happy time being close to Him. But he does that to get your attention and devotion going. And then this consolation period will stop and then a person wonders what they did wrong since they have stopped. Obviously the person feels badly that they stopped and caused it to stop in some way. This could be the case, but 19 times out of 20, this is not the reason. The real reason is that he wants us to do the work when we pray. By that I mean that it is wonderful to pray with consolation, and not easy when there is only our determination to pray and no help from our dear sweet Saviour. Now He is closer to us than when we were having those consolations but we won’t feel his presence, in fact we feel his distinct absence. Now the choice is ours. We will be faithful to prayer because we love him and not because we are being rewarded. Then prayer becomes more pure and pleasing because we are being obedient and faithful, going against our natural tendencies to quit when prayer gets tough.

It is important to understand that you may break any promise to yourself except to be faithful to you prayer life. Prayer is where it is at, sink or swim. We must never under any condition give that up. And as far as consolations are concerned, always be grateful for them, but be even more grateful to Him when you don’t have them.

Someone once said, to seek the God of consolations, not the consolations of God.

Just a thought or two.
 
We do not believe alone…look to others who are live their faith in Jesus of Nazareth…from the very simply to the great intellectuals even and of course the Saints…

Read the Homilies etc of Pope Benedict XVI as Pope…

vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/messages/youth/index_en.htm

In Jesus Christ is our life and hope…even in the midst of apparent darkness he is the light…and the Good Shepherd whom you can give yourself to …to be carried on his shoulders.

Mary Star of Hope Pray for our sister…
 
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